Sleep and Independence.

Hi B.,

13 month olds are very ready to sleep through the night. Both of my children started around 5 months actually.
Sounds like he hasn't been put on a consistant routine, he's so young still though so better now than later when it is even harder.

Do you have a night time routine?
I have done the same with my kids and it works perfect.

Dinner 5:30, bath 6:30, bottle or glass of milk at 7:15, 7:30 reading downstairs.
8p.m. bed.
Once I lay them down awake, they're done. I may go in to soothe if they fall asleep and wake up startled or can't find the paci. I do not stay up, I do not talk, I give the paci say ssshhhhhhh, cover them and walk back out.

You may have (or her) to do this for a few weeks since he's a bit older for him to get it.
How much is he napping during the day?
If he's awake at 3 am then he must be sleeping way too much during the day.

Hope this helps some, it is really simple if you follow the routine consistantly. Remember, schedules and routines aren't for you or her - even though you're sleep deprived - They are for the CHILD. It builds structure, disciopline and security.

1 mom found this helpful

Sounds like your grandson is addicted to Mommy's hugs! The best way to teach some independence is to have some set times for Mommy to have downtime when she is not working. Play with her son when she first gets home from work, but also have "quiet time" when Mommy gets to retreat to another part of the home or even go out for a bit while baby plays, colors, reads, or maybe watches a DVD/video with grandma.

Not that Mom should ignore him, but she also needs to set limits as to when she holds baby. Snuggling is a great thing, but not constantly. It is very difficult to eat, for instance, with a toddler on your lap! Mommy needs to set limits with her son as far as when it's okay to sit on Mommy's lap and when it is not, and stick to them.

Does your grandson have a highchair or a playpen? These are great for times when baby can learn to be independent yet still close to Mommy while she is home. He can do his own thing (color, look at picture books, play with toys) and still spend time with Mommy nearby while she gets the freedom to do dishes, eat, read the paper, or watch TV. He may not like it at first, but your daughter will find he will get used to it and be okay. It is not mean to set limits. This is the perfect age to introduce rules and limits.

As far as 3 a.m. playtime, just keep in mind that diaper changes and sips of water can be given in the middle of the night without engaging play. Keep the lights low, keep talking to a hush, do what needs to be done, give a kiss and a hug and say night-night. Leave the room and don't look back, even if he cries a little. Wait about 10 to 15 minutes and see if he quiets down. She will soon find that he will figure it out--Mommy is not going to play with him--and he will go back to sleep. You all need your sleep so you can play during the waking hours. If she spends enough time with him and has a nice sleepytime routine before bed (hugs, cuddles and a short book), maybe then he will have enough Mommy time and not feel the need to keep you all awake. Still, it will take sticking to her guns to set any routine. Some rules are made to be broken, but getting enough sleep is important for everyone's health and sanity!

Enjoy your rambunctious grandchild, and make sure you give him plenty of opportunity to let out his extra energy. He will sleep better if you play a lot of hide-and-seek and other games to wear him out!

First what is his schedule? Who watches him while you at work? I was just talking with a mom of a 10 month old who says she gives her son power naps. She works at the office with me and her sitter makes sure he sleeps maybe one short nap during the morning hours if needed, then a nap in the afternoon for only an hour but no more than two. After 6:00 p.m. the 10 month old does not lay down until they are ready for bed. He is given a bath, they make some great Johnson products for soothing, and then put to bed shortly before the rest of the family.

Hi....oh my, sleeping through the night? What is that? I am a mom of 5, and 3 are under age 5....I haven't had a decent night's sleep in...well...that's another story...re: your 13 month old not wanting to sleep....some things that worked for me was: letting my daughter (who is 3 now and very rambuctious as well) go ahead and get up and play....I leave on a little night light that is a dim light and she plays quietly with dolls or books or stuffed animals til she gets sleepy again then goes back to bed herself. This may be harder of course with a 13 mo of course. The other course of action is to simply continue putting him back to bed (not talking or playing) each time he wakes up. We had to do this with our (now) 6 year old....and it took almost THREE agonizing weeks of CONSISTENT "back to bed" when she woke up...and let me tell ya....this was when she was almost 3 and I had an almost 2 year old and a 1 year old and I was a walking zombie.....but it was worth it as she now sleeps through the night. It's a habit as much as it is her expectation of what is the "right" thing to do and what will get attention. Make sure your daughter starts by saying, "tonight we are going to do something fun and different." Make sure she has a routine...dinner, play time (together), then mommy has her "quiet" time, bath, then mommy and jr. read a book together, then brush teeth and bed. Whatever the routine, just make it a routine. He'll fuss and cry and throw a fit....but stick to the routine, esp. in the middle of the night.

Good Luck!

why not trying to wear him out and not allowing a nap and keep him up as longgg as possible even if he wants to go to sleep fight to keep him up,and do this for a week straight. you may not get much sleep for a week,but it sounds as if your nut anyway. he will soon fight you to let him get rest

I hear you with needing a good night's sleep. My youngest (he's now 15mo) took forever to sleep through the night. I turned to the one person I knew had good advice - my mom. I'm the oldest of 6 kids so I knew she'd had lots of experience. It really comes down to setting boundaries for the child. He needs to know and realize that when he gets put to bed it's time to sleep, not play. When he gets up in the middle of the night, you should put him back to bed and firmly, but kindly, remind him that it's sleep time not play time. He might cry and fuss but stick with it - it will work in the end! You may still be sleep deprived for a bit but he will eventually realize that you are serious and start sleeping through the night.
I also totally agree with giving him a bedtime routine. Kids LOVE routine! My husband and I do the same thing everynight with our kids before bed. My 3 year old no longer even needs to be told what to do - she's got it down pat! Make it fun and something special he can do with mom and maybe he'll look forward to bedtime.

Hi B.,

My advice is to make a consistent routine and stick to it (dinner, play time, bath, story time, bed.) Also maybe find something that your grandson finds comfort in and have it around at bed time (a stuffed animal, music, blanket, cup...anything for comfort.) Stick to your routine.

Good luck!

Do not get him out of bed no matter what. Answer his cry by going in and letting him know you are there. You do it one night and daughter do it the next night. Lay him back down if he is standing. Tell him night night however you usually do, pat him on the back or bottom afew times and leave the room for five minutes. If he is still crying, go back in after the five minutes, let him know you are there, lay him down and pat him on the bottom use your soothing voice, tell him night night again and leave the room. Repeat until he finally goes to sleep. If he doesn't cry, but he is awake, let him be. Finally, he will go to sleep on his own.
Be perservering and consistant! I hope it works for you.

I have one child who now is 2.5 years old, but I remember going through those nights where she wouldn't sleep the entire night and always wanted me. Based on my own experience, if he is waking up everynight, that is not good! I am not sure what you guys are doing, but if you are going in the room "right away" everytime he wakes up (at night) that is not good, you really should just wait and see what he does! I am sure he will cry (a lot) for a while, which is torture, but he needs to know that it is ok to fall asleep on his own! I would start with waiting a while and then go it and comfort him, even if he wants to play, don't acknowledge it, just sit with him for a little bit (not a long time) and don't say too much, cause you don't want him to wake up even more.... then put him back down.. (he should be awake when you put him down too!), he will probably cry again... but wait even longer the next time before going in.... It will be hard to just listen to him cry and not be able to go in there, but you can't give in all the time! This process will take some time and will pay off! Eventually he will get into a routine and start falling asleep without mommy/grandma having to go in every night! Now in regards to him being "needy" and has to be with Mom all the time, maybe he has separating anxiety. He sees mom leaving everyday and then doesn't come home until later that afternoon, he misses her. All kids go thru this, she shoud maybe sit down with him for a few minutes (before she leaves for work) and play with him and talk to him and let him know that mommy has to go to work but will be home later and will spend time with him after work. I hope this helps a bit!

HI B.. It is great that you are helping out your grandbaby. I read a book that really helped our newborn sleep through the night. It is called "on becoming babywise". It will be much harder to get a 13 month old on a schedule, but it can be done. I have a friend who adopted at 12 month old and she was able to do it. I wish you the best of luck, but truely believe that once your grandbaby is on a schedule things will fall into place. It is so hard for a mom to say no, i can't hold you right now. but sometimes it has to be done.

Get the book, "Baby Wise" as soon s possible! It works but you will have to be consistent.

Good Luck!

I feel your pain. Here is something that worked for me... Routine!!!!! but it starts with baby steps. So you hold your baby the first night like normal but starting the night with a book or a song or both. The second night and the rest of the week- after he/she falls asleep with the book, song or both, you leave them alone and go back everytime (yes everytime) they cry...this will suck, but trust me. starting the next week you sit in a chair after the story, song or both near the bed and rub his/her back or hold hand until they fall asleep. Again going back only now to sooth when they cry really intensly and then back to bed for you (not really who can sleep while the baby crys). Now for week week 3... this is the big one. Read the story or sing the song, lay the baby down rub their back and then off to bed with or with out the baby being asleep. The first couple of nights it might be tough and you will have a few attempts to get you back in the room. But as long as you stay strong your baby will do fine. Lastly... it should come to a point (week 3 no later than 4) that you are finally in a ROUTINE and your baby is cool with it. It is soothing, familiar and they know you are near by.

Good luck.

I have a 2 yr. old who would want to stay up until 2 or 3am. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I put her to bed between 8:30-9:00 and she would scream and poop herself. I would go get her and change her diaper and put her right back in her crib. It hurts to hear your baby screaming but as long as you know they are not hurt you will be fine. Now when I put her to bed she goes quietly.

If he is in daycare all day it is natural for him to want Mom as much as possible the rest of the time.
It won't last forever...enjoy it while you can.
As for the sleep issue...it is imperative that if he awakens at night do not talk to him, keep it dark and if necessary lay down with him in order to teach him that this is the time for sleep.
Keep your eyes closed as much as possible.
If it were me and I needed sleep in order to work, I would not hesitate to bring him in bed with me for the remainder of the night.

We have always had one of those fisher price music boxes in our sons room to help put him to sleep, as well as kept a sippy cup of water in there for him. We used the box everynight to "lull" him to sleep, and he has used it on his own ever since he good to help himself fall back asleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night... then there is always the crying it out thing, where you just don't go get him when he wakes up- as long as he is safe- generally they will realize they need to go back to bed and will.

I can understand how hard it is to get little ones to bed, the best thing that I can say is to create a routine. Start early with it too. When my son was 8 months we started with his bath, then his PJ's, then a book and then he went to sleep with his CD player playing classical music. I got him used to the music early by playing it in the back ground when we would be hanging out. He is almost 4 now and we still have the same routine. I promise alittle practice and your little one will be on a schedule and you will have the eveing to yourself.