Sleep and a 4 Month Old

Updated on February 08, 2008
A.S. asks from Ballston Spa, NY
43 answers

Hi,

I am wondering how long should my 4 month old, almost 5,sleep at night? She sleeps anywhere from 9:30-5 or 6. Which is really good. However, a lot of people tell me that's to late. We have put her down earlier and she's up 10-15 minutes later, plus her last bottle is at 9 or so. She either goes right to sleep after bottle, or we put her awake and she's out by 10. Samething happens during the day with naps, so she naps in the swing. She take two sometimes 3 naps a day. One or two are like an hour and the afternoon one is like 2-3 hours. Then up from 3-8 with a little cat nap, and then up from 8:30-until bed. I stay at home, so I don't really mind. Just want to increase it a little earlier in the pm and a little later in the am. Is she to little? Some parents are telling me there infants sleeps like 7-7 or 6-6 or 8-8 and I just can't see how. Am I missing something? We just started cereal today, only one time, as she is only 5 months, thanks

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C.R.

answers from New York on

Try keeping her to two naps a day, one in the a.m. and one in the afternoon. Also, try to quiet things down around 6 or 7, give her a bath, read a book, cuddle, sing a lullaby. It's never too early to begin the bedtime routine so that when she's a toddler she'll know what to expect. And babies sleep when they're sleepy. Every baby is different. You're doing just fine.

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I.M.

answers from New York on

No two children are alike. If someone's child is sleeping a certain amount of time, good for them! It probably has very little to do with something that they're "doing" and more with who the children are and what they're predisposed to. My son will be 5 months old this Friday and he only sleeps from 10pm to 2:30am, needs a bottle, and then sleeps til 6:30/7. So don't feel so bad! It's not "too late", the child doesn't have to get up to go to school the next day. As time progresses, make the bedtime 15 minutes earlier every week or so until she's sleeping at the time YOU want her to be asleep by. Oh, and I would add a nightly bath before bed, if you aren't doing that already. It signals to the baby it's time to get ready for bed and it does work. Best of luck to you!

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J.R.

answers from New York on

At this point you may want to try t put her down around 8. I know you said you give her bottle at 9 but you can make it earlier. I think she will probably get up the same time in the morning anyhow, my 6 month old son gets up between 6 and 7 in the morning, regardless of what time he goes to sleep at night (usually 7:30, 7:45 the latest. I have tried to put him to sleep later so he would sleep later but it doesn't seem to help. You may also want to try a little cereal at night to fill her up so she stays sleeping soundly.
Pleasant dreams.
J.

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P.M.

answers from New York on

I don't know about 12 hrs at 4 or 5 months. My so has always been a good sleeper, and at that age he was sleeping from 7 to 4, take a bottle and go back till 7 or so, up for 2 hrs and nap for 2 or so. He would have another nap at around 2 for an hour or two. They really change the schedule a few times. If the 9:30 to 5 or 6 works for you, then stick with it. Maybe try to make ot earlier a few minutes each night.

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

The 9:30 - 5 or 6 schedule is wonderful! Enjoy it! My babies did a similar schedule but as soon as I got used to it they would change it. I have not heard of many 4-5 month old babies sleeping 12 hours straight, mine never did, at 6 months possibly.

Your baby sounds like she is doing so well. I don't think you are missing a thing. Keep up the great work.

A.

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A.C.

answers from Syracuse on

I agree with what many other moms here have said: trust your instincts! My son is now 20 months old and has ALWAYS gone to bed around 9-9:30. My job often makes it difficult for us to get home to get him ready for bed much before 8:30pm many nights. He now sleeps until 8am most days, which works for our schedule because we don't have to be out the door too early.

When he was around your daughter's age, he had a very similar sleep schedule. I have friends whose children at the same age go to bed by 7pm, and others whose children don't go to bed till 10pm. Everyone's different, but as long as baby is happy and you're happy, I think you're doing great! Don't worry about other people criticizing you--everyone is different.

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K.W.

answers from New York on

You have to do whatever is right for you & your baby.
As she gets older she will most likely fall into the 12 hour cycle.
My son is 16 mos and he is like clockwork 9-9 or 7-7 etc..whatever time we put him to bed he is up 12 hours later.
Now my 6 week old daughter is differnt and I would expect her to need more feedings etc..she is growing right now. Currently she sleeps from 10:30 to about 8-ish but she wakes up at least twice for feedings and is easily disturbed.
it takes time to solidify the routine.
Sidebar:
Giving a soothing lavendar scented bath and baby massage with lavendar scented lotion afterwards helps them relax and sleep longer.
Don't worry
K.

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J.P.

answers from New York on

I have heard that it is possible. A friend of mine with twins recommended a book "Twelve hours' sleep by twelve weeks old" by Suzy Giordano that she said worked for her. I have heard that the method used in the book works wonders from many other mommies. I have begun reading it but, it recommends not starting til the little one is 8 weeks old so I haven't started the method yet. So we will see! It is really easy reading (step by step, week by week) so you might want to take a look at it. Good Luck:)

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J.F.

answers from New York on

i would stick to what your baby is already use to, my son is 6 months and is on the same schedule, last bottle at 9 and is up at 6, it doesnt bother me.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

You are in heaven and you don't even know it! Don't listen to other people--your daughter is sleeping 8 hours in a row! That is a great accomplishment and wonderful experience for both of you! My son is 22 months and I can still only get him to sleep a maximum of 7 consecutive hours (once) at night. I wouldn't change a thing. It sounds like that is her bedtime and she knows it and it feels right for everyone. If it works, why try to "fix" it?

BTW, at her age most babies are still only sleeping 5-6 hours at night and 8 hours doesn't come until around 9-12 months. So tell those advice-givers thanks for the tips, but this is what works for your family.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I have a 5 month who sleeps from 9 or 9:30 to 8. She also takes 2 long naps a day and when she is in her stroller she will sleep. If that works for you keep it up.

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B.L.

answers from New York on

If you are getting three naps, that is normal. Look at the entire amount slept(naps and overnight), you'll see that the numbers match. Consider yourself lucky you have a good napper!

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L.P.

answers from New York on

Alison, just wanted to tell you you're doing a great job. The baby is sleeping well, and taking her naps. Her schedule will change as time goes on, and if it worries you that she goes down too late maybe try a few minutes every day to get her to go earlier...but you may have to adjust naps. But don't fret...she seems to be on a great schedule!

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M.C.

answers from New York on

Hi, I hate to say it but be happy with what she's doing. My daughter (15 mos now), didn't sleep like that until 6-7 months. To this day, she's up by 6:30 am, no matter what time she goes to bed. My ped said that you really can't break them of this until they are older (if you are lucky that is). It sounds like she's a good sleeper (I know you may not think so but she really is). Kiss those mornings of "sleeping in" good-bye! Sleeping in for us is 7:00 (and we are SO thankful when that happens). Good luck

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I think you have nothing to worry about. First, stop listening and worrying about what everyone is saying. There are plenty of babies that sleep a lot more and plenty that sleep a lot less and they ALL turn out ok. 8-9 hours of sleep in a row for a baby that age is pretty good. There are plenty of babies that sleep only 3-5 hours at a time still at 6 or even 9 months. Look at some of the other mamasource posts and you will see that many a mom have issues with their babies not sleeping through the night still. I only have a 5 week old baby but worked for many years in day care so I have seen all sorts of babies at all different ages.
You know your baby better than anyone else and you will know if she is tired or hungry etc... go with what you know and if you really feel like she isn't getting enough sleep then deal with it then, but it sounds to me like you are more worried bc of what people are telling you than because of what you actually feel.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

There's nothing wrong with a 4 month old going to bed at 9:30. She is sleeping through the night - that's great for you! You don't need her going to bed at 8:00 and getting up at 4 a.m. Infants nap during the day. It's not the same thing as a 4 year old who is going to bed at 9:30, getting up early in the morning and not napping - that child isn't getting enough sleep. A 4 month old should be sleeping around 14 hours a day. If your daughter isn't tired, there's no reason to put her to bed earlier. Some babies may sleep 10-12 hours at this age, others may sleep 6 or 8, and some babies may still only go a few hours without waking, there are no hard and fast rules here.

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W.Y.

answers from New York on

My youngest is 6 months and she's pretty much sleeping through the night. If my daughter wakes up around that time it's usually because she's hungary. If your baby is waking up at 5 or 6 that means she's hungary and if you give her a bottle she'll probably go right back to sleep. She does most of her growing at night while she sleeps and during her nap times. My suggestion to you is if you want her to sleep longer which is what she needs I suggest putting the cereal in her bottle at bedtime that way she'll be more likely to sleep longer. Remember, that not all babies are the same and as long as she is able to take naps during the day you're doing fine as a mom. If you need peace of mind though bring it up to her doctor at her 6 month check up :) Congrats on being a new mom

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K.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

There is nothing wrong with your outine because that works well for you and your daughter. She is getting enough sleep. My son who is 10 months is the same way. He naps during the day and does not sleep dor 10-12 hours at night so he goes to sleep when I do so we both get 7-8 hours at night.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi Alison,
I have the same situation. I have twin boys - 5 months old. One sleeps from 9:30 or 10 pm until 7 am and the other from about 8:30/9 pm until 4 am. He used to sleep from 7 pm to 6/7 am. I don't know what happenned. They are both teething and we sometimes go through nights of just 5 hours of sleep. They are both on solids and have been on rice cereal in their bottles since 3 months due to reflux. I feel the same way as you do. They are pretty happy babies and get up happy, just not tired anymore. I wish I could offer you advice, but I need some myself. Good luck.
J.

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H.V.

answers from Syracuse on

Sounds like what is happening is working for you and your child - don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise! If you're convinced she's healthy and happy, then don't fix what isn't broken! :)

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D.P.

answers from New York on

I agree that your baby is doing great. She is on a very similar schedule to my 6 month old, who goes to sleep at 8 and wakes up at 6 like clockwork, although he sometimes needs one middle of the night feeding (sometimes at 1, sometimes at 4). He also often wakes up shortly after going to bed, but I pop in a pacifier and soothe him, and he usually is back to sleep in minutes, if not seconds. I don't pick him up unless he is really really crying, which is getting less and less frequent, and I try not to even make eye contact (on the advice of my doctor), which I have to admit usually works. I haven't had the heart to do the cry it out method yet, but I do think the Healthy Sleep Habits book is great and I've followed a lot of tips from it. I started reading it because I was having major problems getting the baby to nap starting at about 4.5 months, and it took some time, but that has really improved (which has, in turn, really helped eliminate the night wakings). As for people telling you 9:00 is too late, I have friends who put their kids to bed at 6 and some who keep them up til 10 or 11. People have to do whatever works for them. If your baby starts to seem overtired/fussy, or has problems either napping or starts waking up at night more frequently, the first thing you should do is move the bedtime earlier. But if not, then just leave it alone and let it evolve naturally. FYI, if you do move the bedtime earlier, the wake up time may not change, because of your baby's natural clock. Also, I suspect that the vast majority of the babies that are sleeping 12 hours straight now are on formula. If your baby is on formula too, I bet she'll be sleeping 11 or 12 hours in a month or 2. And don't listen to the advice about putting cereal in the bottle. That is a huge no-no. I can't believe people still do that.

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D.K.

answers from New York on

Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and listen to your baby. Unless she is crying or in distress, she is just doing what babies do-what they want and what they need.
We're the ones that screwed things up by introducing the "clock"
LOL
Let her be-she'll be just fine

C.B.

answers from New York on

She sounds normal to me. Don't listen to other people when they say should. Each child is so different. My DD didn't really sleep 11-12 hours until she was 9 months I think. She changed her sleep habits so many times it is hard to remember. If you are ok with her setting her own pace that is great. We didn't even have a set sleeping sched. until she was more like 6-7 months.

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N.L.

answers from New York on

Hi,
My daughter had a similar sleep pattern when she was around your baby's age. Lots of people couldn't get over the fact that she took a nap before bed - ours napped from 6:30/7pm until between 8 and 9pm and then had a bottle and went to bed around 9:30/10pm. She would sleep until 6 or 7am. I am a stay at home mom as well and so I didn't mind as long as she was getting the sleep she needed. When she was around 5-6 months, she gradually stopped being so sleepy after dinner that she would fall asleep. Also around this age she became really interested in everything and stayed awake to explore her surroundings. When she wouldn't nap after dinner we started bringing her up for the bedtime routine earlier and earlier. Now we start the routine around 7:30pm and she is usually asleep between 8:15 and 8:30 and wakes between 6:30 and 7:30am. This is a long way of saying that, for us, we followed what our daughter was telling us regarding nap patterns and all was well. Everyone has an opinion, but the only information that matters is what your baby communicates to you. Sounds like you are doing everything well - good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Binghamton on

my son once he started sleeping though the night would sleep about 10 hours until he got a little older and he also had a little ceral added to his bottle before bedtime. That helped him sleep a little longer as the food doesnt digest as fast as the formual. yet, what i eventually found out was he would wake up for a little awhile in the am and play and go back to sleep until 8 or 9 when going to bed beteween 8 and 9. But if you dont mind your child going to bed that late i wouldn't worry about it i know parents that let their children stay up til 11... it is evey parents choice, dont let people change sometime you dont mind...

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

Dear Alison,
Congrats on your baby! There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, it's your schedule and it works for you! One thing you will discover with motherhood is the tons of unsolicited advice and or comments from everyone, people you know as well as complete strangers. As your baby gets older and becomes more active....crawling, playing, walking, etc....you will find that your schedule will change and she will need to go to bed earlier....especially if you have morning activities like playgroups and preschool...but until then if it's not broken don't fix it! I have 5 little boys and I always kept my newbaby up later than the others, that was my time to enjoy him and relax, as they get older and more active I adjust their schedule to ours so they aren't over tired...but a 5month old can sleep in her carseat or stroller or just about anywhere if she needs to so I really wouldn't worry about it! Best of luck!

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M.B.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi Alison,
It sounds like you have a wonderful baby. The sleeping at night is a great amount of sleep for your baby. If you want to get her to bed earlier, then wake her up earlier from the 2 naps during the day. About a half hour or so. she will not be happy about that for a couple of days but will adjust.
And for cereal, it is time.
M.- a pediatric nurse

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P.R.

answers from New York on

My little boy was able to sleep from 8pm to 7am (or there abouts), but every baby is different. I had been doing exactly what you currently are, he'd take a tiny evening nap, then stay up a bit and have his last bottle around 9 or 9:30. I slowly made that time a little earlier until it was 8 to 7ish. Now, he's 9 months old and sleeps from 7:30 until 6:30 when I have to wake him up to go to "school".

Do what makes sense for you, and don't be afraid to try new things. Since you are a stay-at-home mom, you have the flexibility of experimenting. I say try something for three or four days, if it doesn't work, try something else.

Hope that helps.

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A.B.

answers from Syracuse on

dont exhaust your child but see if you can maybe put her to bed at night at a little earlier and see when she wakes.try dif times to see what works for you(if you dont want to keep waking at 5am every day that is) maybe she will just self adjust to not waking in the night...as for naps during the day all my kids took at least 2 naps a day as a baby...its fine and healthy. some kids need it more than others. anybody that tells you different doesnt know what they are talking about(sorry if i am stepping on any toes) but all kids are different. just because someone elses kid doesnt nap at the same time as yours or is sleeping 12 hrs a night doesnt mean the next kid on the block does the same.
i find if my kids get too much sleep they are more overtired and more cranky
hope this helped!
A.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Your baby is her own person and you know her best. My son is 6 months old tomorrow and he doesn't go down until 9 or 9:30 either and is up at 7. TRUST YOURSELF. It isn't like she is up until midnight and actually, I had a friend whose baby didn't go down until 10 every night! She's 5 now. :)

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I.H.

answers from New York on

Hey there!
I'm going through the same thing with my little man! He's 4 months too.

I have been reading Dr. Weissbluth's book about "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" and it has helped a ton with putting Jake to bed.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

Although he does not sleep 12 hours straight, he goes down for the night at 6:30/7:00ish and wakes up at 6:30 everyday. He wakes up sometimes 2x or 3x a night - which I have to train him not to.

I asked my pediatrician how long he should be going without any food at this point and she said, if I put him down at 6:30pm he should be good until 4am! Well, that's something we are still working on it because he wakes up before midnight (I feed him) and around 4ish (I feed him again) then he goes until 6:30am. The doctor said that the 4am will be pushed further and further out until one day he will sleep straight.

Here's the gist of the book for 4 month old:
- At this age, the baby should be having 3 naps a day
- Put the baby down before 2 hours of complete awakeness. If he/she is tired earlier put her/him down but keep in mind that one nap messes up the other nap if taken too long or too little.
- Don't keep your baby up in hopes they will sleep more at night. This is a myth. Sleep promotes sleep. If they nap well during the day, they will sleep well at night.
- Be aware of sleep aids (pacifiers are bad, blankies are good, nursing until they fall asleep is bad, rocking until they fall asleep is bad). Babies will awake up in the middle of the night and expect to be however they fall asleep (nursing, rocking, with the pacifier). I took away my baby's pacifier and he's def. waking up less - it wasn't a big deal for him either. He just GRABS his bear :)
- One night I let him cry at midnight, he fell asleep and I didn't feed him. He was fine the next day.
- The earlier you put them down, the longer they will sleep (from the book). It's true!
- There is a different part of the brain that manages wake up time and going to bed time. So, don't be afraid of putting her down earlier. If she wakes up earlier, she will go back to bed.
- When trying to move a sleep time earlier, do so in increments of a few minutes (say 20 mins earlier each day). Do your night routine earlier. (My ped said the same thing)

I hope this helps!!
Best of luck!
I.

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K.C.

answers from New York on

Read, Healthy Sleep Habits for Healthy Babies.

A great book that really promotes no crying sleeping solutions and helps to cue you in to your babies needs. This person who wrote the book is an expert on sleep and has done study upon study. I have my third baby (and my other two I would have considered good sleepers) My newborn (two months old) is a GREAT sleeper just incorporating a few of his techniques.

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K.C.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 4 1/2 months old and is sleeping 8pm or 9pm through 6am. She also naps a few times during the day but the naps are getting shorter. She also just started cereal so that should make them sleep longer too. I think your daughter is right on target.

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E.A.

answers from New York on

I had the awesome opportunity to stay at home with my daughter when she was that age as well. At times I attempted to alter her schedule to make it more convienent for me but she always did better when I just let her sleep when she needed to sleep. Three years later the same is true. It may be near impossible to get things done with such a philosophy but whenever possible I try to give her that freedom because she has the rest of her life to be on a schedule.

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T.B.

answers from New York on

Every baby is different and mine....well, he's never slept like your baby. I'm so jealous of you. Due to our work schedules, our son doesn't go to bed until 9-930, sometimes as late as 10 (ugh). Right now he is 18mos old. I'll be in trouble when he starts school and i need him in bed by 8. If any one gives u advice on how to get your baby down earlier, let me know. I need to start planning ahead! Help. I don't like it either that he's up that late, but he's not ever cranky and is happy during the day. That's what i am going by right now until the dreaded school days start.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

hi - its fine!! stop listening to what people say.. you are the mommy and if it feels right and works for you, then its good! My 7 months old son sleeps from 6 -6 however wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse - everyone tells me that its a problem and that i should "let him cry it out" but you know, its not a problem for me and it works for us so we go with it. stick with your motherly instincts and ignore everyones "2 cents" about when your baby should sleep...as long as your baby is sleeping at least 12 hours, you are fine! and as far as putting cereal in his bottle, wait until 6 months, babies digestive systems arent ready for too much until they are 6 months old. Good luck

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I think it really depends on your situation and your child. I know some people that keep their babies up later in the evening so the dad has some time to spend with them. I also know of 15 months old that still wake up in the middle of the night. My daughter is 7 months old and has been sleeping through the night since three 1/2 months. But we have always had a very strict bedtime routine, and specific bedtime. She naps three times a day, but the afternoon nap and evening nap are really short, so by 7:30 she is shot. Like I said before, I think it just depends on the kid. Good luck :)

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P.B.

answers from New York on

Firstly, you're doing a fabulous job and every baby learns to sleep differently. Try cutting down the last 2-3 hour-nap slowly, in 15-30 increments. And start his bedtime routine 15-30 minutes earlier. He'll adjust slowly.

P. B.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

It sounds like you are doing great. Both of my children went to be around that time at that age (they are now 2 1/2 and 5 months). My 5 month old now goes to bed a littel earlier--I just started doing the last bottle a little earlier each night (about 15 minutes earlier for a few nights, then 1/2 hour earlier etc). Now his last bottle is at 8pm and he is in bed by 8:30.

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M.P.

answers from Rochester on

Alison,
I am a mother of an 18 month old little boy. He has never been a 6-6, 7-7, or 8-8 sleeper. It's all in the individual baby and of course as we know all babies are different. I don't think you should worry about her sleeping from 930-6 (actually that is pretty good). As far as naps go, a routine starts as soon as you want it to. Kids will adapt. My son still takes a morning and afternoon nap (about 1 1/2 hour each). I do not think you should be in any rush to change her schedule unless it doesn't fit yours. Napping in the swing is probably not a good habit to get into, however, she is little still. My advice would be that around 6 months I would start her into a routine of sleeping in her crib for her naps, she will soon learn that napping in her crib maybe more peaceful that in her swing. The cat napping will stop as soon as she starts to be more mobile and getting into things as well.

Hope this all has helped!
M. P.

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H.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi,
I have an 8 1/2 year old and an 17 month old. If I've learned anything it is that every baby is different. My brother slept from 9pm to 9am starting at 3 months old. He loves to sleep to this day.
My daughter did not sleep through the night until 3 1/2 years old.
I think you are doing a great job. You know your baby's natural rhythm and allow your life to work around it. That is a whole lot healthier then making tiny babies cry alone in their cribs simply because someone 100 years ago decided that 8pm was a good bedtime.
Each family and each mother/baby pair has to find their own rhytym. If your friends and family are correcting you about this, they will correct you about many other more challenging and controversial things later.
I say, don't invite their comments because it just makes you doubt yourself as a mom, and frankly, you sound like you've got a great system.
Buy "The Baby Book" by Dr. William Sears and his wife. They are great about brainstorming, reassuring and having perspective. They don't try to fit every baby into a box. Babies are as individual and unique as adults are. It's good and healthy to acknowledge that.
All the best,
H.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

My kids were pretty much on the same sleep schedule as yours. Don't listen to those other people! Most of us do not get kids that sleep that long that young. Sometimes adding the solid food helps them sleep longer.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

I think this is fine,

It works for your family,

I have 3 children and they all are on diffrent schedules, and even then the schedules change,

I think thats a good amount of sleep considering how many naps she is doing,

M

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