Sleep Advice Needed - Murrieta,CA

Updated on April 09, 2009
J.S. asks from Murrieta, CA
30 answers

I have a 6-month old that has never been a good sleeper. He has slept more than 4 hours only a handful of times & is currently waking up every 2-3 hours. He is breastfed but is a big boy (20 pounds) so food isn't the issue...I have stopped feeding him during the night (8pm-6am) for the last week but he is still waking up, sometimes for 2 hours or more. I just started him on solids, he is teething, has bad eczema, so i think all of these may contribute to his nightwakings. I have read Dr. Sears' Sleep Book, Elizabeth Pantley No Cry Sleep Solutions, & The Baby Whisperer...i'm not a huge CIO fan but it seems like that is the advice i'm getting lately. Does anyone have any advice/tips on how to get him to sleep. B/c many people have responded with this advice i thought I would let all know that I have already taken dairy & eggs out of my diet (since he was 4 weeks old) and it has already helped his eczema & a myriad of other problems.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is probably not the advice you are looking for but... my daughter was an easy baby except for sleeping. It wasn't until she was about 20 months that she slept through the night (in my bed!).

I was tired but it got less and less... I just told myself that in the grand scheme of things this is a very small chunk of my life.

Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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V.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

CIO with eczema? - may scratch himself really hard. any reason for solids - besides magical 6 mo number? if he is not ready, not only eczema, his whole GI system may be the reason for waking up. the way i see it - sleep is secondary, eczema is the primary concern.
Good luck in solving both though!
V.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

SOme babies are just this way. Believe it or not, its very common. He is young to be sleeping all night.

You said he is a big boy and nursed and on solids. Well, my son is big too, 97th percentile since birth, and had a GINORMOUS appetite. Big/hearty babies, need more feedings... to keep up with them. Going 8pm-6am without a feeding, to me, is a LOOOONG time. PLUS, he is at an age where this is a growth-spurt... and they get hungrier at these times and need to be fed.

Per my Pediatrician, a baby should be nursed on demand, for their 1st year....and that breastmilk/formula is their PRIMARY source of nutrition, NOT solids, NOT other liquids.

Keep in mind that this first-year is a 'building-block" time for babies... and their intake/nutrition needs are demanding. Most babies, if they don't have enough intake, they will wake.
Breast milk digests very quickly in their bodies.

And yes, he is teething and has eczema. All things that tweak a baby's slumber.

During ANY growth-spurt or developmental change... a baby typically needs more intake/nursings. AND their developmental changes DOES affect their sleep ability.

Each baby is different... but to me, with his waking up every 2-3 hours, he is hungry. He's 6 months old, and this typically happens.

"Sleeping through the night" for a baby, means sleeping about 5-6 hours straight. It is not according to adult standards. For me and both my kids, I learned that a baby/child will sleep though the night when they are ready... and they will then 'stop' needing to feed during the night-time too, when they are ready. Both my kids are different, but they had their own time-line on when 'sleeping through the night' occurred... regardless of how I put them to bed. It was not about 'bad habits' or not... its about what they need and needs for comforting during growth changes/developmental changes/illness/teething/growth spurts/age-phases etc.

So many approaches to this. This is just my thoughts, for whatever it is worth.
All the best,
Susan

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C.

answers from Las Vegas on

When my baby was going through a period where he didn't sleep well (he's ten months now) I was so tired and grumpy and annoyed. BUT I kept telling myself that he will grow out of it and after a few months he did! I learned to cherish the time he needs fed, changed, rocked, or whatever... because the time FLIES and pretty soon he won't want you to cuddle him or even hold him. Think about how fast the last 4 months have gone by. The next four months will go by even faster. I know it's hard to do, but try to enjoy the times he wakes up. (I work a full time job too, and was exhausted at work, but we new we'd be tired when we decided to have kids, hehe.)

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey J.,

I have 4 kids and I nursed them all on demand. My 1st on that is now 13 did wake up everynight until she was about 1 yr old. I was also very frustrated and sleepless in California. I did get the advice to "let her cry it out." My husband and I did do that for for 1 night. She cried and It took everything in me not to go into her room to pick her up and hold her and nurse her. She did go back to sleep and I thought all was well. The next morning when we woke up I went to get her I felt horrible. All of crying had make her vomit and she slept in it all night. It was all over her face, hair and torso. I decided to just look at her waking as out alone time and really enjoy it. The time did pass and I am so glad that I did continue to get up with her at night. For the next 3 I did the same thing. I don't regret one minute of it.

For the eczema, My children don't have it but I do have a friend that has a little girl that did have it so bad that she could not bathe for a week at a time. The water burned (even cold water) her when it would touch her skin. She had scabs all over her body including her face. I recommended a lotion to her and within days, it was clearing up. The mom did say that when she didn't use the lotion, the condition worsended.

If any of you are interested in the lotion, just email me and I will give you the details at ____@____.com

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go ahead and nurse him. He may be hungry, and if he is in pain, it will comfort him.

Please don't let him cry it out. How would you feel if you were hungry or hurting, needed comfort and couldn't help yourself - but instead depended on someone to take care of you?

To the mamas who believe breastfeeding is the root of the problem: The reason why breastfed babies need to eat more often is because breastmilk is a complete food, therefore digests more quickly and easily. Babies are not meant to eat grains until they are 7-8 months old because they cannot digest them properly. Babies have full tummies after eating rice cereal because they are not digesting it.

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A.C.

answers from San Diego on

It sounds like you've tried everything! Two of my three children were the same way but I didn't try too hard to fix it, I just went to bed with them at night so I spent up to 11 hours a night in bed. I rarely had more than 2 hours of solid sleep but I had a lot of time to rest so I felt ok.

Good luck to you!

A.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Gosh, it sounds like the little guy might have some sort of allergies. He seems like he is dealing with a fair amount of discomfort (hence the waking up frequently) and he has skin problems. I would get the little man tested for the full battery of allergies. It is worrysome that he is showing so many symptoms, because he probably hasn't eaten that much stuff yet (at 6 months). My best friend's son had similar issues and it turns out the kid is allergic to EVERYTHING!!! So better to deal with it at this early stage than have him go into anaphylactic shock without you knowing what is going on. My best to you and your family. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing!

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was the same way but did not have the eczema (big boy) and my daughter was the same way with the eczema so here goes. What helped me through each change was to remember that "this too shall pass". Another book you need to be reading by Sears is The Vaccine Book and Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders, by Dr. Kenneth Bock as you are down the path already to having some possible problems for your son.

About the waking up and eczema, taking dairy and soy and maybe even wheat out of your diet (for me it included eggs). At some point you will want to have him tested for food allergies through a blood test that checks for IgG (ImmunoLabs in FL is who we use).

Keep breastfeeding as long as you can. You are doing such a good job! Hang in there and it also helped me to know I wasn't alone in this and that many other moms went through it

Make sure YOU have done the research on vaccinations for YOUR child. The AAP recommended schedule of shots for children is too many, too soon. Here are sites and books that I always recommend for people to start their research:

www.909shot.com
www.tacanow.org

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Childhood Vaccinations, by Dr. Stephanie Cave
Evidence of Harm, by David Kirby

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
Here's a thought: What if instead of stopping ALL feedings from 8 pm to 6 am, you just limited to 1 feeding? Maybe your husband could go in at the non feedings, and you go in at the feeding one. Just a thought for finding some middle ground.
Personally, I'm a believer in feeding on demand, and not a proponent of CIO. I believe in really letting them know that their needs are met, particularly during that first year of life, where they are establishing security in this new world.
I do understand that every situation and family is different, and I don't expect everyone to think or act the same way, so I respect your concerns.
The thing is that this will not last forever. Nursing is such a special and healthy thing, and soon it will be over with. I know that in the moment, it can feel tough, especially during sleep deprived moments, but really, very soon it will be over. If there's any way to muster up the stamina to go with it a little bit longer, that would be my encouragement.
As for the eczema, that is really a condition that is symptomatic of something in the baby's system that is an irritant that it needs to get flushed out. It could come from chemicals (baby soaps are loaded with them, detergent, baby wipes, etc).
The other possibility would be foods, which could either be things consumed by the mother, or whatever your baby might be eating as solids.
Quite honestly, 6 mos is a bit young for solids. There is a process that the baby's body needs to go through to have what's necessary in their body in order to process foods. That is why it is recommended to wait.
One other thought is that baby foods contain far fewer calories, protein, and fat than breastmilk does. I don't know what time your bsby is getting solids, but most baby food will not keep him as full as nice big serving of mom's milk. I just thought that if he was having baby food substituted for a nursing session late in the day, that it might not keep his belly full.
Anyway, hang in there. Really, all this will pass.
Take care,
M.

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

Take him to a chiropractor. I know a great one in the San Diego area if you ar enear here.

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Jan, you are on the right track- great that you are reading! That always helps.
My suggestion is to let him cry it out. But, change the way you thing about crying it out. Your son needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep- you don't want to be his way of soothing- for his sake and yours. He is going to complain about the change by his only form of communicating- crying. And he may complain for awhile because he is used to one way. Just remember he needs to learn how to soothe himself- and he will. It may take a few days. (Only do this at nighttime). Stick with it.

Other things I would normally go over in a consult:
-How much daytime sleep is he getting?
-Bedtime? How long does he sleep at night?
-When do you feed?
*Check out this post- for more specifics on sleep environment, sleep needs, routine... http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html

Good luck. You can do it- and you will all be happy and rested in a few days.

C., sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com, mother of 3

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A.M.

answers from Reno on

Hi J.,
I have no advice and I REALLY wish I did, but, I am simply here to tell you we have twins seperated at birth, same age, breastfed, weight, sleeping habits, eczema... everything. He is my second child and my first had colic. So, I was kidding myself when I said, if the first one didn't sleep, my next will. Well, it passes. There are nights where I just want to go across the street and sleep there. Some day, many many days from now, J., we will sleep again. For now, give him what he needs and you'll know when he's really hungry or not. Trust your instincts. They're almost always right. You have mom instincts now...they're like magic! Good luck and happy sleeping!

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J. - i went through a very similar experience with my son at teh same age recently. Here is what i learned: the eczema is really what woke him up. it is itchy and uncomfortable. the teething contributed. I am not a big fan of the cortisone ointments that docs prescribe, but there were a few nights that i had to use because he was so uncomfortable.
I learned through research that his eczema and some discomfort from new foods was due to food allergies, so i took him to an M.D. who also practices alternative medicine. She did non-invasive food allergy testing on him and discovered a dozen allergies/sensitivities. Through a process she used called NAET (www.naet.com), he no longer has teh eczema, allergies, and is sleeping through the night. this is her contact info if you are interested in seeing her: Dr. Van Ngyugen. ###-###-####. she is in pacific palisades, but has been well worth teh drive.

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Y.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

You have a lot of responses, but I haven't read them all...so I don't know if anyone mentioned this already. My son was very similar to yours at six months but slept even less and woke very frequently. I've also read the Pantley and Baby Whisperer books. The thing I cannot stress enough is to make sure your baby does not have other issues going on, otherwise, none of the recommended methods will work. After months and months of sleepless nights and asking my pediatrician multiple times what I could do, I finally figured out that my son had silent reflux (NO thanks to my doctor). Everyone was recommending CIO, but I really did not feel comfortable with it, and the little bit I did do, did nothing. Actually, any kind of stress only aggravates a condition like silent reflux.

My little guy was in the 90th percentile for a while because he was gaining weight so quickly, but I also found out that is common with reflux babies as well. They tend to eat more to soothe their throats, which helps temporarily, but then they reflux after and the pain often wakes them from sleep. Don't let other people convince you to do CIO if you don't want to...they can do what they believe is right for their babies, you do what is right for YOURS. Don't let anyone else TELL you how to parent your child.

If you are not sure if your baby might have some reflux issues or not, try checking out Colic Solved by Dr. Bryan Vartabedian from your library. It's a great, informational book that will at least help you rule out reflux if your baby doesn't have it, and it will help you find solutions if your baby does have it. Good luck!

Y. :o)

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R.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

http://www.babysleepsolutionsla.com/ Her name is Kathy and she is the best. More than a book but you'll be sleeping thru the nite (baby too) in days. My only regret was not calling sooner.

Good Luck!

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C.W.

answers from San Diego on

Wow, you have gotten a lot of input. I have three kids, two of which were difficult sleepers. My 2 year old is just now becoming better. I feel it has nothing to do with food. 8 to 6 is not that long. I think feeding the problem is not the solution. It also has nothing to do with breast vs bottle. This is about your individual child. I think like someone said you need to look at why he is waking. Does he seem in pain?? Is it possible to comfort him? If he cannot be comforted or relaxed than he is having some sort of digestive issues or pain with his skin condition. If he wakes up smiling to be with and play happily for 2 hours than he is working the system and you must encourage him to sleep, whichever method you choose. For digestive problems, I finally looked at some homeopathic remedies and our lives have completely changed. Whatever you look into, I think helping him with the discomfort is key. But I really feel that feeding him is just covering up the real issue. It is a big puzzle we try to solve day by day:)

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F.L.

answers from Reno on

Check with your pediatrician, but I think you could probably give your little one rice cereal before putting him down to sleep. That would fill his tummy up and maybe helphim get through the night. Good luck.

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A.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just hang in there, he will do it when he's ready. I read ALL the books, and tried everything, but my son just wasn't ready yet. He finally started sleeping through the night around 13 months, and is a GREAT sleeper now at 22 months. It seems there was always something keeping him up at night (change in schedule due to my return to work, teething, starting solids, sickness, etc). Once he finally does sleep through the night, you will forget how difficult it was for you! I just had baby #2 and he is a MUCH better sleeper (so far), but I still moan and groan when I have to get up with him at night! :)

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
I really feel for you. I scanned the emails below and didn't read all, but here is my two cents:
My son had eczema while breastfeeding. It went away when he stopped at nearly 2 years old. Turns out he was allergic to peanuts, milk, eggs, soy. Mommy ate all that fun stuff.
There are differing attitudes on this, but LESS bathing seemed to be best for his eczema. I think I read both pieces of advice and tried both ways, but I ended up dropping him down to one "tubbie" a week and spot cleaned him every day otherwise with baby wipes/wash cloth/etc. and it helped. Minimized soap but trust me, he was clean. I should have bought stock in Aquaphor. Baby laundry soap for his clothes. Changed his sheets often. And, nursed him every night at 12 midnight, and again at 5am. I wouldn't even have to look at the clock to know it was 5am, he was so routine. 4 years old now and still once in awhile starts calling "good morning" around 5am. EEK! Son #2 none of these issues. However, I asked the pediatrician what "sleeping through the night" meant for my 9 month old at the last visit, and he said it = 6 hours straight without nursing at that age. Good luck and know TTSP - this too shall pass!!!!!!!!!!!!

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R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

Sounds like I had the exact same problem with my daughter.. so, I may know how you feel. It is so hard to be awakened for hours at a time for 6 months straight. We got a lot of advice which we tried with no success. The Dr. Karp methods, white noise, I cut out dairy, glutens, soy, berries and nuts from my diet. Tried NAET for my baby and myself, saw a pediatric GI and much more.

Still, nightly, we would be up for hours trying to help our little baby (and, us) get some sleep. All the Dr. Karp stuff worked to a degree, but, after we got her to sleep, stopped the shhing, bouncing, etc. and put her in her crib, she would be up and we would need to start all over again. We began to dread the nights.

I never thought I could let my baby cry it out, but, I did the sleepy planet workshop just to see what it was about. Later that week, we couldn't get my daughter to sleep. After two hours of trying, she was wide awake, so we broke down and did the method. She cried for 45 minutes and fell asleep and woke only once briefly. The next night 20 minutes, and the next not at all. Naps took a little more work, but, in the end, she was sleeping better and we all felt much better and could enjoy each other more too.

I know some people will disagree with cio, as I did, but, I guess after what we went through, I can see that it is helpful in some cases. My daughter seems more content now that she can help soothe herself. And, during teething or other times of discomfort, when I go to her in the night, I am able to hold her, sing to her, calm her and then place her back down to fall asleep.. and, she does.

She still knows that she can rely on us to help her through things when she is not well, but, she also has the self confidence that she can help herself at times too.

Please let me know if I can be of any more support.. I know how difficult this time can be.

all the best to you and your family...

oh, I should add, once our daughter started getting the right amount of sleep, her tummy issues and possible allergies (we never had anything diagnosed, just a lot of speculation from docs) all seemed to resolve themselves too. i think it is often time that cures these things, but, every case is different, so it's best to check with your doc before doing anything.

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T.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

You and I have sooo much in common:
1. 1st time sahm,
2. non - sleeping baby w/excema
3. breastfed, big kid (weight-wise)

I didn't read all of the advice, so I apologize if I duplicate anything.

My daughter is now 14 months, but I went through exactly what you did.

First, has your pediatrician given you something to relieve your son's excema? Make sure the area is moist at all times because it's the drying that makes them itch. Also, be sure to only dress him in cotton clothing, because other materials are known to exacerbate the issue.

Second, teething tablets are great - you can put them directly in the little one's mouth, it will dissolve in a bottle. There is Hylands brand, and "little teethers."

Third, establish a routine, and stick to it. Really stick to it. Do the same thing each time he naps. I put on the a/c (for white noise), turn on the lullaby aquarium, give a blanket, paci and put my baby in her crib. I do this every time, and it now works. It took a long time for her to get used to this routine, but I stuck to it, and finally, now at 14 months, she sleeps regularly.

I wasn't a fan of the CIO method either, however, if I wanted rest, I had to do it. I would recommend trying it this way:

1. Do your routine,
2. Let him cry for 2 minutes, go back in, but do not pick him up. Pat his back, talk to him, but do not pick him up.
3. Let him cry for another two minutes, go do the same thing.
4. Last time, another 2 minutes, but do not say anything, just pat his back.
5. Do not go in again for 5 minutes. I know it's torture hearing them cry, and it sounds like they're dying, but let it go for 5 minutes. Then go back in and pat his back.
6. Let him cry it out til he sleeps.

If you try this for a week, or maybe even a few days and stick to it, he will understand that you are not going to pick him up and eventually, hopefully go to sleep :)

Hope this helps, good luck.

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Some people don't sleep well. I am a grown up and sleep about the way your little boy does.
Just accept it.
B. v. O.

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Alot of lo's have a growth spurt at 6 months of age. Time ti kick up feedings, not cut back. : ) Hang in there mama. ((((((((((())))))))))))

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Holy cow! If could've written that question!! I have the same situation (and read the same books). Our daughter is almost 7 months and still wakes up a lot. She doesn't have eczema, isn't teething but still wakes up a lot (and is breast fed). Aggh!!! I feel like I've read everything & the only advice I get now is to try various versions of CIO (Ferber etc.) which my blood pressure can't currently handle. I feel like a 200 year old hag b/c of no sleep. My face is breaking out and my husband and I can rarely get a few hours alone. I will be reading all the advice you got...I'm really relieved to hear someone else is in our shoes... GOOD LUCK!!!

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

J.,

Lots of night waking can be a sign of a very miserable baby. And if yours has bad eczema, he's miserable. My now 2.5 year old has eczema. He's allergic to dairy and soy proteins. I breastfed him for 18 months. Once I eliminated all dairy and soy from my diet and his, it took about a month and then he started sleeping like a champ (it takes a while to get the proteins out of your system). I took him to an allergist and he tested NOT allergic to anything but he busts out into hives and his eczema gets bad if he eats any dairy or soy and to me that says "allergy." Other than keeping his diet clean, we let him soak in the tub as long as possible and then we coat him with aquaphor. When it is really bad, I'll put collodial oatmeal in the tub with him too. I also have a HEPA filter air purifier in his bedroom that runs 24/7 and I wash his bedding twice a week in hot water, and have an allergy mattress cover/barrier and the same type of barrier on his pillows. He's gone from COVERED in eczema to just having some little spots. Eczema is miserable. It is no wonder he can't sleep. Get the eczema under control and the sleep will likely follow.

Good luck,
T.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J., Before I can answer your question I need to ask you one, do you get up with him each time he wakes up? if so that is your problem. At the risk of some of the mamas that will ready my response and feel compelled to write me a nasty reply, but here it goes, breast feed baby's seem to have sleep issues, almost every request I have read about babys who don't sleep through the night or have some kind of sleep issues, are from moms who said their baby is breast feed. I'm not against breastfeeding as some moms believem, but even if you go back sweetie and read all the sleep issue requesta, you will find most of them are breast feed baby's. Those books aren't not going to get your baby to sleep through the night, it's all in the parenting, I had my baby's in the 80's and they didn't have all these books, there was so such phrase as CIO or CO sleeping, I don't know who came up with this stuff, but I do know this, I had none of it, and all 3 of my baby's were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, gave them rice cereal made sure their tummys were full, we rocked and sang them to sleep, with no sleep issues. J. I know times and things have changed sinse my kids were baby's, but it takes me back to the old saying if it's not broke don't fix it. moms today parent so different, but I know I didn't have the sleep issues with my kids, and I don't remember any of my friends back in the day having those issues. It's hard to let your baby cry, I know, but you also don't want to create bad habits that will get worse as he gets older, and get harder to break, I don't know everything sweetie but I do know what worked for us, I wish your family the best. J.

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G.R.

answers from San Diego on

10 hours with out any food is probably to long. Typically if you do't feed a baby at that age during the night for a week that is long enough to train him to not wake up anymore. If he is still waking up after a week you should probably give him at least one more feeding. I sleep trained my first two and they did well after the first two -three night. I would call your pedi to make sure 10 hours isn't to long. Even though he is 20 pounds he still may be just a hungry one.

One more thing, try taking dairy out of your diet and possibly soy to for the eczema. It is very diffcult but works well. I have had several friends who had to do this.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son went through the same kind of thing. He is 16 months and didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 13 months. He didn't start sleeping through the night until I stopped breast feeding him and he is sleeping in our bed at night. If I try to put him in his crib he will wake up every two to three hours. It might be a comfort issue for your son since he is teething and has eczema he might sleep better with the comfort of his parents.

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