15 answers

Six-year-old Daughter Won't Stop Peeing Pants--need Help/advice

Please give me any advice on what works to help my daughter to stop peeing her pants. She does it at least once a day and claims she doesn't feel it. I have talked to a doctor and she said to time her every 2 hours and make her go. This didn't work and now she is in first grade all day. She doesn't do it at school, just when she is playing. It takes all my patience to not get mad! Any tips or advice on what has worked for you if you've had this problem?
Also, she still wears a pull-up at night. I keep waiting for it to be dry and it never is!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I was so impressed with the informative responses I received. All of the responses helped increase my knowledge and really helped the situation. I ended up having her wash her own underwear once, and also I don't react at all like I used to. I also changed the words I used to "Are you clean and dry?" Instead of "Did you pee your pants again?" There has been a vast improvement but mostly the advice has helped me deal with the problem much better than I was. I plan on getting the nighttime beeper that goes off when she turns 7 for the nighttime bed wetting. As for the day, it is rare that she has an accident. Thank you so much for taking the time to teach, inform and share your experiences! I truly appreciated each and every one. J.

Featured Answers

I have glanced at the responses and while it very possibly could be a medical problem and something that you might want to have looked at, I am also wondering if it is behavioral. The fact that she doesn't do it at school does suggest some control over things. My thoughts are to stay non-reactive and calmly empathize with her that that must feel pretty yucky, but then she needs to clean up whatever is made messy by wetting herself. Teach her to use the washing machine and dryer and do her own laundry associated with the clean up and if she needs to clean upholstery or carpeting, show her how the first time and then it should be her responsibility from there on out. I am wondering if the clean up and the attention that comes from that is what she is wanting. Provide attention in other positive manners. And ask her when she has an accident free day, how does that make her feel and celebrate that with her.

I know that when my own daughter kept wetting the bed at night, she quickly stopped once it became her responsibility to clean up her bedding and remake her bed at 2am by herself.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

The night wetting may be something else (or just late development). But here's some perspective... I vividly remember wetting whenever I was playing. Playing was too fun, didn't care about wetting--after all, it just meant changing clothes, but quite honestly I didn't care about being wet, either. I'm guessing I wet everyday during the first grade--during playtime. Come second grade, the last time I remember wetting was in the lunch room, which was embarrassing, and it never happend again.
So... for what it's worth, who cares? I have great self esteem, graduated from college, I'm raising 4 great kids... I have lots of patience and understanding for kids who just might not care yet. This probably doesn't help "solve" your dilemma, but if you rule out any underlying medical problem, perhaps she'll outgrow it on her own. hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful

I have glanced at the responses and while it very possibly could be a medical problem and something that you might want to have looked at, I am also wondering if it is behavioral. The fact that she doesn't do it at school does suggest some control over things. My thoughts are to stay non-reactive and calmly empathize with her that that must feel pretty yucky, but then she needs to clean up whatever is made messy by wetting herself. Teach her to use the washing machine and dryer and do her own laundry associated with the clean up and if she needs to clean upholstery or carpeting, show her how the first time and then it should be her responsibility from there on out. I am wondering if the clean up and the attention that comes from that is what she is wanting. Provide attention in other positive manners. And ask her when she has an accident free day, how does that make her feel and celebrate that with her.

I know that when my own daughter kept wetting the bed at night, she quickly stopped once it became her responsibility to clean up her bedding and remake her bed at 2am by herself.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son had the same issue. He would stay dry at school because he didn't want to be teased but just didn't care if he was wet at home. It seemed like through out first grade it got better and now he hardly ever wets during the day unless we are somewhere unfamiliar and he is to busy playing to find a bathroom.

I would just say hang in there. Try not to get angry but just make her put the wet clothes in the laundry every time she wets.

With the night time wetting my pediatrician said they usually outgrow it for sure by the time they are 12. He didn't feel like any testing was necessary since my son can stay dry all day. He just recommended keeping him in the pull ups until he is motiviated to stay dry and wants to try, he said the alarms and things don't really work until they have a desire to do it and follow through.

Anyway I know how frustrating this issue can be. Good luck to you. Just be patient and she will probably outgrow it.

1 mom found this helpful

My thoughts are that either it's a medical problem, which others have spoken to, and your doctor can help you sort out; OR it's more of a behavioral issue.

If she is reacting to your getting angry, the first thing I would do is be completely NON-REACTIVE. I would have her wear pullups during the day and night. Eventually, she will not want to wear them any longer, and she'll stop doing it, if it's a matter of choice or gaining attention.

You said you're a health nut - you might also try the homeopathic tablets for bedwetting by Hylands. (see http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/BedWetting-Tablets.html)

I have not used these, but I've used many other homeopathic remedies and they are FANTASTIC - completely safe, with no side effects whatsoever. Either they will work or they won't, but they will not harm your child in any case.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

This is probably not much advise but more of a statement that you aren't alone. My 5 yr old son still has wetting issues during the day. He can usually stay dry at school, but at home he just doesn't care. It is something that we still struggle with every day. I really try to reward him when he has a day without wetting and not get frustrated or mad when he does wet, but it is so aggravating! You've gotten good posts with advice, so just hang in there and know that you are not alone.

1 mom found this helpful

While it's not uncommon for a 6 year old to be wetting the bed, the fact that she is having daytime accidents on a regular basis could be an indicator of somethinng going on. I would talk to the doctor again. If she brushes it off as nothing, get a second opinion. It could very well be nothing at all (or minor emotional challenges that can be overcome without too much difficulty, if handled well), but for your peace of mind, it would be a good idea to rule out physical causes first.

1 mom found this helpful

If going to the pediatrician, you may want to see a urologist. Could be overactive bladder, or undersized bladder. One thing my dr. told me is to make her drink alot during the day. This forces the bladder to get fuller and make her go more often, instead of trying to go when nothing in there. Sometimes their bladder is too small to hold alot so makes them feel like they always have to go and so they just go with out really knowing it. Its a long process, you can always pack extra clothes in her backpack and let the teacher know if she does have an accident, she can change herself. If not they get clothes from the nurse and not always flattering attire. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

1. Ask her doctor about: Ditropan (Oxybutnin) is used to treat symptoms of overactive bladder, such as frequent or urgent urination, incontinence (urine leakage), and increased night-time urination. (expect her to be on the meds for about 3 months in connection with peeing every 2 hours while she's awake.)

2. A waterproof watch with a timer that goes off every 2 hours + a doctor's note telling her teacher she needs to be excused to use the bathroom when her watch beeps. No need to tell her friends what it's for. http://www.amazon.com/Timex-Kids-Iron-Watch-T7B211/dp/B00...

3. Panty liners reduce anxiety (which can aggravate the problem). Explain that it's just like the pads you and tons of 4th, 5th, and 6th graders wear when they have their period and no one needs to know about it. Also explain it's not a diaper or pull-up. It'll catch the first few drops that slip out but not much more.
http://www.amazon.com/Poise-Pantiliners-Case-Six-48-Count...
OR
http://www.amazon.com/Always-Pantiliner-Regular-Unscented...
4. Hot baths seem to help
5. she needs to drink more water - buy her a special water cup or remind her to drink a glass or water or gatorade every few hours.
6. If she's constipated, she needs to eat dried plumbs, or drink more apple juice or pineapple juice.

1 mom found this helpful

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