Sisters Dog Being Put to Sleep

Oh what a dilemna...one real big crying party by the sounds of it! The dog was well loved as a companion to all.
First: Get it in your sister's mind that the dog is being given the best gift of no more suffering.
Second: Explain to your daughter that there will be a lot of tears because the dog is gone. I am sure she will be comforting everyone! They all should talk about the good times they had with their canine friend. Sooner or later she is going to realize things live and die.

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Hi S.. This is a difficult subject, but you are better off being as honest as you can. I am assumeing that the dog is old/sick since it is a scheduled event. We have lost a couple of dogs over the years in the same way (two were our babysitters, one a close neighbor and one of our own just last year.) It never gets easier. Keep it simple and honest. And yes, you should tell your 2 yr old. You can't hide it from her and she may understand more than you know. Simply telling them that "doggy" is sick/hurting and Auntie has to take "doggy" to the Vet, is a great beginning. After your sister takes the dog away then tell them that the Vet couldn't give "doggy" anything to make him better so "doggy" died and went to heaven and "doggy" isn't going to be at Auntie's anymore. Tell them that your sister's family is going to be sad & miss the doggy too. Let them cry and ask questions, answer them the best that you can. The more ready you are to talk to them and tell them as much of the truth as you feel is nessassary the quicker they will move on and not be obsessed or find reasons to be scared of trips to the vet for other treasured animals. Death is a part of life that we all have to learn about and accept, even at a young age. I feel for your impending loss and your concern about your kids! Best wishes.

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This might sound crazy, but when my sister's kids were little she had to put her dog to sleep. He was 15. She told her kids which were 4 and 6 at the time that Solomon went to an old folks home for dogs because he was old and had to go be with other old dogs. That seemed to help them deal with it until they were older and could understand death. I don't know if that will work for your siruation because the older kids will know that he was put to sleep. Anything you can do to explain that the dog is gone. Maybe get that movie "All Dogs go to Heaven" and then explain it to them.

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I would avoid saying "put to sleep"or "put down" to a child. Explain that the doggie is old/sick and the vet can help ease his pain and suffering with euthanasia and he can die peacefully. Make sure your daughter knows that it's ok to cry and be sad. Explain that her cousins will be very sad and may not want to talk about the dog for a while.... or if she sees them upset, she should give them a hug to make them feel better. Don't sugarcoat anything! A co-workers daughter (who was 7 at the time) was visiting our office and she was telling me about her cat being at the vet and she was hoping he would be home soon. When I asked how long he was there for, she said 'two years'! I didn't say anything to her, but I talked to her dad and explained what she told me and he needed to be upfront with her. I printed out some articles to help him explain this to her. There are alot online if you search, which I highly suggest. Everyone grieves different and it's important to know how to handle children's grief.

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When my son was 2 our cat died.We had to explain.We told him the cat was wery very old and that when people and animals get very old they will get sick and die and that is just the natural part of life.He was so young at the time but now that he is 13 we had to explain this again when his grandma died 6 months ago.As long as the parents are there and their world has not changed, they are usually are ok.The way you act in front of the child also helps them.And I always let my son know I was sad. And I know I cried in front of him.But we didnt let anything else change in our lives ,so the child feels very secure.
good luck with this situation

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Our son was 4 when we had to put one of our dogs down. All we told him was that Fritzi died because he was old and sick. That was all he wanted to know.

He was 5 when our other dog died in a tragic accident. He was with me when I found her (I was also 7 months pregnant at the time). So I explained a little more about death then.

We had to put our cat Katey down this past May. Our son is now 8. This time he was curious what happened at the vet so I told him everything. It didn't scare him at all and I think made it less mysterious. He knows death is a part of life.

I would just tell your daughter that the dog is sick and will be dying soon (I found it was easier for my son to understand that it would be happening rather then just telling him the day it happened...prepared him a little) Let her know everyone will be sad and there will probably be some crying. Then take your cues from her. If she wants to know more, let her ask questions and then answer her age appropriately.

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I agree that you can explain that all living things die when their life is over. Explain that the dog is pretty old and sick and that the doggy doctors cannot help her any more with medicine. She is so sick that the medicine isn't working. It is her time to die and she will surely die soon. Explain that after the dog dies, she will go to dog heaven and Jesus will make the dog healthy again, but the dog must live in Heaven now forever. Once you go to heaven, you cannot come back.
We went through this with my son at about 3, so be prepared for many questions including if you are going to die. Again, I would just explain that every living thing eventually dies when their life is over. Assure them that you are not going to die until they are all grown up and you are very, very old.
Sorry about the dog loss. This can be a really rough time. Good luck.

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I have heard that Mister Roger's book "When a pet dies" is wonderful.

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I had this problem almost a year ago when one of my rottweilers died. I told my son, age four, that Cocoa had gone to Heaven. I then told him how wonderful and fun Heaven was. We even watched "All Dogs Go to Heaven". It relieved his stress and he went on to tell the other dog that it was ok for her to go to Heaven with Cocoa. I hope this helps!

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Hello S.,
I am very sorry to hear of your sisters dog. It is very sad. I've had to deal with the same thing recently. I do suggest talking to the children about the dogs death. Try not to use "He is sleeping" because it may scare them about sleeping. There are several books that may be helpful. "The Tenth Best Thing About Bernie" and one from Mister Rodgers about death. It might be helpful to let them say goodbye before he is put to sleep and maybe make a book about him. They could share their own stories and draw pictures or put photographs in it. Hang in there.
C.

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Our dog had to be put down after a tragic poisoning incident last year. We are spiritual people so we told my kids that Freddie died and is not coming back...he is in heaven with Jesus and Grandma and Grandpa are taking care of him for us since they too are in heaven. It was heart breaking and they were very upset but we were told by a friend who is a child psychologist that the more direct you are the better. Keep it simple and be honest that death is permanent...they aren't coming back. There is a bit of a sting at first but they get over it pretty quickly. Our main problem was that we had Freddie creamated...that is a whole other ball game to try and explain. We did lie a little with this one. I told them that when dogs die they turn to dust...it's just the way that it is. I didn't want them trying to visualize Freddie being burned in a firey pit. I had them go to a paint your own pottery place and make a special container for his ashes. It sounds a little morbid but they still talk to the "urn" and it helped them have closure. I think when it is someone else's pet that dies...most important is that you are on the same page with whatever that other person told their own kids about the dogs death.

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telling any child about the death of a pet is a hard one.First of all do not stress out in front of the kids about it. have a memorial service for the dog with pictures and all, have the kids and the rest of the family say things about the dog they will remember. tell the kids the dog is in heaven now. if the dog was old or sick let the kids know the dog is not longer in pain and is with the other dogs in heaven that is why he is not with them anymore.

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My cat died on my 5th bday.

Despite having found him dead in the road, my mom explained to me that he was hurting and that he was going to go to sleep so he could feel better. She said he was going to leave his body here for me to remember but his spirit was going to a better place (insert your religious beliefs here). He would miss me, but I would see him again someday and he would always watch over me.

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We just had to put our collie to sleep. We have 4 children, 12 yrs old, 10 yrs, 6 yrs, and 1 yr. But they all knew she was sick, she was constantly throwing up. At first we told them she was sick and at the doctors, she will be there for a while. Then I had to tell them she had to go to heaven. So what I did was I cut a piece of her fur and tied it in a pink bow put it in a plastic bag with her picture and bought them a collie webkinz. They had to understand she went to heaven because she was'nt coming back. I also wrote a letter and put it on the webkinz saying from hiedi, she loved them so much and she will always be with them and watch over them and if they needed to tell her anything to whisper in the stuffed animals ear and she will hear them. I know it is really hard and they all miss her still she just turned 10 and wasnt too old but just turned ten and 2 weeks later she had to be put down. Or I know of some people said their dogs ran away. But I think the truth is better that way they wont be waiting for the dog to come back. I hope I helped you in some small way. Let me know how it works out .

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