Singleton After Twins

I did three cycles of IVF and never got pregnant. 10 months after my last cycle, when we had given up and moved on, I found I was pregnant with my son, and it was all natural. We hadn't even done the deed very much that month because my husband was working on the East Coast and only coming home weekends. Go figure.

I frequent a discussion board for women who are going through IVF or are parenting after IVF. I'd say at least a dozen of the women on that board have been pregnant or are now pregnant with "freebies"--some after suffering infertility for many years. A couple of them are twin moms, and another couple of them will have babies less than 18m apart. It happens more frequently than you know.

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Hi I/m T. and I had my 3 children 20 months apart and it did keep me busy. I had diapers for 5 years and then I was done. You just do it because that is the way it is-a mother!!!

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You are going to be very busy, with diapers, no sleep, and try to feed and clothe every body. Trying to rest for yourself is out of the question. But it will only last for two years or so.

My daughter and son were 24 months apart, another guess what dear, and I went though a lot of diapers, especially when they had the flu. I did not sleep for 2 years. But they were best buddies growing up and it was a lot of fun once they were out of diapers.

Congrats! I have girl/boy twins and another little boy with only 18 months apart between delivery (all natural). I was nervous, overwhelmed and worried about having 3 kids so close in age. My twins are 5 and the youngest is 3 1/2 and I love it. They are like triplets honestly. There are trying times with behavior now a days, but they are great friends and playmates.

My body was a little tired at first because I was nursing the twins when I became pregnant. When the twins were nearly a year I weaned them and I regained energy and more time. Once I had my youngest it was much easier than with the twins...especially nursing. I thought wow, why is it so easy and my husband reminded me of how my twins would fight at nursing together and other little moments. Handed down clothing, gear and supplies really made it afforable as I did not need to purchase anything, but diaper and wipes. I seemed to have a different bond with the youngest at times, because the twin were playing on their own or sleeping. It was great.

My youngest did wonderfully growing up with the twins. Potty training was a snap because he wanted to be like brother and sister. He trained about a year before the twins. He has excelled in learning and socialization much faster than the twins, I think because of his siblings and what they learned or taught him.

Once the youngest was born the twins were only 18 months, so they still needed more mom time. Cuddling with all 3 and helping the twins learn boundries was important. Trying to expain gentle with a baby to a toddlers is difficult, but they understand after a few weeks. I gave each of the twins one on one time with me without the baby and with. This seemed to help with less hurt feelings especially as the twins grew older and the baby as well. Play time was great about 5 - 6 months old because the baby could really respond to the twins and it was like a light went on about the baby being a friend and playmate, more than a drain on mom time.

I worked part time in and out of the house. Part at my office and part at restaurant for some fun socialization of my own. My husband was VERY supportive and it too the edge off at times when I could get stressed about the Mom roll. I loved working, but it was difficult when I wanted to be with my kids. I'm sure everyone has issues with that. But my-oh-my to see those kids when I walked in the door was awesome.

Anyway, hope this helps, at first is was a litte scary, but every new step with my kids makes my tummy jump now and then. I thought it would be too difficult in the beginning, but it has been great for our entire family. My husband and I are expecting our 4th child and our kids are ready to have their new sibling here now because they want another friend in their room to play with. Good luck and sleep easy.
J. 33

I am in the same boat as you! I did IUI, not IVF, and had twin boys in May 2007. I got pregnant by surprise with a singleton and I am due in March 2009. They will be 22 months apart!

Hi H.,
Congratulations! I did not go through IVF, but did use injectible fertility meds and IUD's. We finally got pg after 3 years of trying! I think it was our 4th round of injectible fertility meds that finally worked! Then, imagine my surprise when 11 months later, I'm pregnant!
I have two girls, 19 months apart. It is difficult at first, but now, I'm really glad they are so close together. You will have a harder time with having twins and having 3 so close in age but when they are a little bit older, you'll probably be so glad that they are close in age.
About me: Mom of two girls, 5 and 3.5. Work full time and finally loving it that my girls are a little more independent! They do fight some but are the best of friends.

I have no experience with IVF, but I did have a surprise pregnancy with my third child. Number two and number three are 20 1/2 months apart. They are a boy and girl and are extremely close. It was hard at first with two in diapers, but the closeness they share is amazing.
Congratulations, my dear. You are one lucky woman.

i am a stay at home mother of 3 my first daughters was born july 1st 2004 my second daughter was born march 20th 2007 and my third daughter was born march 28th 2008. Yep 1 year adn 8 days apart. I have no great words of wisdom life is just what you make of it. it is harder doing things like going to the store for simple errands. haveing to carry 2 now my middle daughter is walking makes things a bit easier. the two in diapers has never been a big issue for me other then the cost. but when I change one I change the other. my girls are all on a great schedule. bed by 7:30 pm after bath and story time they sleep all night and are up by 6:30 am. sometimes they nap at the same time ( those are great days) other times they don't. i am excited to see how they are when they are older. good luck and enjoy your situation. enjoy it!!

Hey H.,

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! Although I'm sure it's a welcomed suprise it might take some getting used to. I'm sure you will do great!

As for the twin thing, I just had boy/girl twins 6 months ago!! They made number 4 and 5 for us! So it was a surprise for us!

Anywhoo I just wanted to pass along some info about a group for mom with multiples....incase you don't know about it already. It's called "full house mom's" and you can join by going to their website www.fullhousemoms.com

Wishing you well,
J.

I didn't personally have this experience, but this happened to a friend of mine. Her twin boys were about 22 months old when her third was born. She also did IVF and thought she wouldn't get pregnant on her own, but was very surprised to find out she could!! Anyway, she said the singleton was a piece of cake after caring for twins. I saw her in the summer when the little guy was about 9 months old and she didn't look nearly as stressed as she had with her first two. She said it really was much easier with just one. Anyway, hope that helps!

H., You are not the only one out there with that situation. as I have read. I have never done IVF or even been pregnant but I have adopted 5 children the last of which are
boy/girl twins. I do have a close friend who 8 years ago did IVF for her first child and last year did it again and got twin boys and just found out she is pregnant again totally on her own. which has never happened in the 15 years they have been married. This new one and the twins will be 14 months apart. she is in total shock. But the Lord never gives us anything that we can't handle and it looks as if the Lord felt that you needed this new little one to be in your home. All will work out. just surround yourself with friends and family. I am happy for you.

CONGRATULATIONS!!
I've had a couple of friends who have had a surprise after IVF and are doing fantastic.

I haven't had natural after IVF, but have three children who are all very close to being exactly 2 years apart. (My oldest two are two years and two days apart.) I loved it. It was easy to recycle clothes and other baby things. (I was trying to get rid of my highchair when our third surprised us.) It was great to still have the essentials and nice not to have to buy as much after the first. Plus, I had not needed to store baby stuff long term. The only snag I had (which was minor) was that my first two are girls and the third is a boy so I needed to find some boy color clothes since most of the girls things were pink, purple, or had frills or flowers. He was still able to wear some hand-me-downs though. I wish all the best.

I never had to do IVF, but had all my children extremely close together. My first were twin boys, 15 months later I had a girl and 20 months later I had another girl. It's a lot of work, but I love the fact that my children were so close together. I got it all done fairly quick and with the kids being so close together there was always someone to play with. I recommend it completely, wouldn't do it any other way.

Hi H., I am in the same boat. I had my twins a year ago and am due on April 1st! Mine will only be about 18 months apart and I have no clue how to deal. Other than I know we need to do what we need to do. Are you planning on breastfeeding? I had issues doing that with the twins and that is now a large concern for me at this point not to mention feeling like I'm not pregnant since I had so many issues with the twins (I'm sure you know what I mean). email me back if you want to talk I would love to know/have someone else I can talk to who is going through the same exact thing I am. personal email: ____@____.com

S.