Single Parent with Sick Child and Work Dilemma

They have a family member watch them. They have a friend watch them. They find a sick child care center in the community to watch them. They stay home and watch them. They send them to school anyway and then they spread their germs to everyone else.

If you don't have extra money, find care that can be paid for another way. A nice elderly neighbor, you could run her errands on the weekend in exchange for watching your child? A neighbor who works from home, you could cook dinner for them in exchange for watching your child?

Google to look for drop in sick care in your area. It's expensive but not as expensive as losing your job.

Check local hospitals for a nurse-supervised sick unit, check Care.com for a bonded babysitter - not cheap but you need a back-up plan. Check colleges for students who will serve as part-time nannies.

My stepdaughter lost a job for the very reason you state - companies may be sympathetic, but they cannot operate with an unreliable work force.

I'm sure you wish you had a plan in place from the moment you got the job, but don't beat yourself up about it now. Move forward. You need a sick plan, a snow day plan, a teacher in-service day plan, a school power failure plan, and a school vacation day/holiday plan. You also need a "Super Short Notice" plan for when you wake up and she's throwing up at 7:30 AM. At least now you have a "night before" warning. Not a lot of time, but better than the day of. When I was teaching, we often had kids coming to school and throwing up at 8:30, when you just know that kid was nauseated at home at 7:30. Parents go to work, send a sick-ish kid to school, and get a call at work an hour later. That's not appreciated by employers either.

As a single parent, you have extra pressures, so you need more plans.

If you can find a neighbor/friend who has a child at home, you might consider trading off (give her some Saturday nights out with her husband if you have to) - but sometimes people don't want a sick kid in with their well kid.

Check with your town's senior center to see if there are able-bodied retirees looking for a few bucks now and then. Maybe you can put up a flyer and interview a couple of people in advance. There are home health companies that provided assistance for people (often elderly, sometimes post-surgery) and they do respond on short notice, but they can charge upwards of $23 an hour, and that's going to break your budget if you do it a lot.

Good luck!

How old is your daughter? Where is her dad? Where are your parents? Do you have emergency care set up?

I'd call dad, family, friends...if no one is available, I wouldn't feel bad calling out. +

Added: Talk to your boss. If your kid isn't REALLY sick, sometimes you can bring them in to work with you. Or can you telework? Or ask family/friends on a very emergency basis if they will take leave. I have done it for my sister before. My parents have done it for me before. It takes a village - you know?

I would suggest you find a friend, neighbour or relative who is a stay at home mom or retired and who may be available from time to time to babysit in emergency situations. Or you can hire a sitter from a service.

ETA: In that case you need to make an effort to get to know some of the retirees in your neighbourhood. Look at your nearest seniors center or church. Lots of retired people out there looking for a way to feel useful. Of course you would still need to offer to pay them, but they might charge less than an actual babysitting service. As for finances, if you can't afford a sitter then you certainly can't afford an unpaid day off work or to lose your job. It sucks, no doubt.

bless your heart.....oh how I know your pain and struggle! omg....so hard..... :(
well, I never had any support system so I know the feeling having nowhere to turn. I always take off the first 1-2 days of my baby being sick (this was when he was under 3 or 4, but now he's almost 8 so not so much a prob anymore). The first two days are the hardest for sure! So while he's sleeping (ha! that doesn't happen much when they're sick) but while they're resting I'm searching like crazy on say care.com or sitters.com looking for someone. I'd have to pay like $70/day but like someone said it's cheaper than losing your job. I mean what else can you do? Or take off half day and only hire them for a few hours. I don't know....that was my only option. I had to figure it out. I hated it and I know some moms would be like, how could you trust a stranger??? Well...I did! prayed and made the best choice I could! When they don't have a fever the options of places they can go is bigger, but shoot, at that point, they can return to daycare.
So....I'm sorry, that's all I got. Sending good vibes and luck your way. I know how hard it is. this part of it gets a lot better. As they get older (at least in my case) they get sick less often.

I am seriously lucky in that my boss is a single parent. I'm not. But he "GETS IT". I have my own office with a door. I have been able to bring my child to work. I bring snacks, an Ipad and dvds, and a small number of non-messy toys, sleeping bag and pillow.

If you have your own office, and if your supervisor/boss is also a parent, perhaps they would allow this. It is harder to get a full 8 hours in, but if your kid is cooperative, you can get a good amount of work done.

how old is your daughter?
where is her dad?
what about your parents?
what about a neighbor?

why not check out care.com and get someone for tomorrow?

Our Children's Hospital has (or had, I haven't checked recently) a drop in child care for sick (colds, not deathly illness) school age children. It was supervised by a nurse. I have not used it but perhaps your local hospital or pediatrician has something similar. If you don't have a regular (non high school student) sitter, you could look on one of the babysitting websites for one. And depending upon your job, you could take her with you. I would also consider how sick your daughter is. My son goes to school when he has a cold. He would miss too much if he stayed home whenever he had the sniffles. Of course he doesn't go if he has a fever or is vomiting. Perhaps your daughter will feel a lot better in the morning. Good luck.

Hire a baby sitter.
Additional:
My Mom raised my sister and me on her own.
When she divorced Dad, we moved to where she grew up and she hired the mom of a college friend (she was an elderly lady who needed the extra income in her retirement) to be our Nanna - to be home to get us off to school, when we came home from school and be with us when we were sick.
Child care was her first priority.
Mom got a job teaching in the next town over - and she didn't have a lot in the way of sick days.
We had Nanna until we were in middle school and were old enough to be home alone.
These are things working parents have to figure out.
You'll figure it out too sooner or later.

well, what choices do you have? it's a terrible dilemma, but you can't leave a sick child on her own.
throw yourself on your boss's mercy, and then put in some serious time putting together a back-up plan to cover this contingency. you can't just wring your hands helplessly, as a parent and especially as a single parent you have to be vigorously pro-active.
call the county, canvass your neighbors, join angie's list or care.com to find vetted emergency care people, talk to other parents at your job and at your daughter's school.
khairete
S.

Call your ex husband and see if he can watch her. That was usually the first call I made, then my parents, then friends.

I think chacha's response is really good. That's kind of what I was thinking. We had neighbors at our old house who were seniors. They loved their grandchildren and I often saw them with them when they visited. I knew they were patient and kind. If I was in a pinch, they would have been the kind of people I would have asked.

Do you have neighbors or someone in your life like that? Where your child could just lay on their couch even and watch TV all day until you're home? There might be someone who would be happy to do it - and if you could repay in other ways as chacha mentions - it might work out for both of you.

Hard - I can't imagine. I do know friends who used up all their vacation time on sick days. I had a co-worker who would bundle up her kid and bring to work and it would sleep on the staff room couch. Not saying that would work for you (it wasn't ideal) but I know other people really struggle with it too.

Hope you find something

What do you do for a living? This will help with suggestions.

Also, try to find a SAHM who might be looking for a few extra bucks on your child's sick days. Perhaps even $5 an hour to drop your child off at her house? Ask around at school. It's really important that you have 2 or back up plans for sick days and snow days.

It would be helpful to know your daughter's age and what type of illness she has.

Is there any way you can work from home for a day? Or, can you ask your employer if you can alter your hours so that you come in later (giving you a chance to find care or a sitter) and then stay later? Or work for half a day, staying home in the morning until you find care and then going in for the afternoon?

It would be a good idea to have these resources on place for the future.

Hope she feels better soon!

What you have to do is work out alternative care, in advance. You just have to. It might be expensive, but it's cheaper than losing your job.

It's a shame, but you have to be able to accrue sick days like everyone else. I hope she gets to feeling better very soon!

I would find someone who is available when your daughter is sick. My mom was a single parent and she had a housekeeper who came once a week. This woman would come over and stay with my brother and I if we were sick. Care.com might be a good resource for interviewing people. When my daughter was little I hired someone from this website. She was taking college classes a couple days a week and in her free time she would babysit. Local babysitters who are older than school age. Pay a stay at home mom who lives nearby. Right now I would try calling your ex and all your friends to see if anyone can do it today. Good luck!

A lot of people live pay check to pay check so no one should have anything negative to say about that. Just tell your boss the truth. A lot of times a boss can be more understanding than you think. If you can offer to stay over a few days or come in early to make up the time. I know that can be hard to do as a single mother but it is worth a try. Good luck!!

You need to plan ahead, L..

You should have a back-up plan if you have no family or friends around you to help.
Contact your school and find out if they can refer you to single parent services.
Contact care.com and see if you can have an on-call person.

I truly understand the financial implications. You really need to plan ahead. If that means moving to be closer to family? Do it.

Since this was a couple of days ago, I'm assuming whatever happened already happened. And I hope you were able to use the suggestions here, lots of good ones. It will be important to find a back up plan for the future because this will no doubt happen again. But mostly, I just wanted to say I think you're awesome for working so hard for your daughter. You're a good mom to worry about her and put her first. I can't imagine how tough things must get for you, but I hope you are proud of how hard you are trying- you're doing just fine. :-)