M.S. asks from Gardner, MA on November 14, 2007
Single Mother Wanting to Conceive Another Baby
Hi I am a single mother to a beautiful 21 month old, and recently I have started thinking about doing artificial insemination to try to have another baby. I realize to some this may sound crazy but since I was little I realized I wanted a big family and now that my daughter is approaching the two year mark, I realize how I want her and her siblings to be close in age. I am a twin and it was great to alway have someone there to play with, talk to...etc. I was wondering if anyone else is thinking the same way or any one going through this. I would really like somebody else input on this subject.
K.P. answers from York on November 16, 2007
I think if it is something you want then you should do it. I am pregnant with my second and thrilled my daughter will have a sibling. Siblings are so important in my opinion. You are very strong to do thins on your own and I wish you the best of luck.
L.M. answers from Springfield on November 17, 2007
Hi M., I must say this is somewhat surprising to me since I have been a single mother and it is extremely difficult financially, emotionally, and physically to provide everything a child needs all the time but especially by yourself. Soooo I can't imagine why someone would willingly put themselves in this position? Like you, from the time I was little all I wanted was a baby and when I was 17 I became pregnant (not on purpose but could've been more careful) and I was sooo happy to have a baby all my own even though the timing could have been better. The father was in the picture but actually I think it would have been easier without him. Anyway, I still earned my H.S. diploma, worked and took care of my son it was hard but I was so happy to have him in my life it was all worth it...I met my husband when my son was 3 and now he's 9, I wasn't looking for a "father" I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend things just progressed to that. I never was one to say that a kid must have a father in their life and in fact I think they're better off with none than a horrible one but my son really gets so much from my husband that I could never give him even though I love him more than anything and I think things like that become more important the older they get so maybe you don't see that now. I am just concerned that bringing a life into this world is not to be taken lightly and you have to really examine your motives and what would be best for this potential new person, and actually yourself and first child as well. You are so young though you have plenty of time to think about it please don't make a decision until you have REALLY REALLY examined all angles because once they're here you can't send em back! I wish you the best. Sincerely, L. M.
T.W. answers from Bangor on November 17, 2007
If I were you, I would stop at one if you are a single mom. Having two would seem like double the care, but it accually feels like triple...quadriple the work. I'm married and I couldn't imagine doing this by myself...but on the other hand there are a lot of women doing it by themselves with even more then two. The choice is totally up to you, depending on how much you want a second child, but if you want advice then I would stick with one.
C.H. answers from Boston on November 17, 2007
I sympathize with your need for another child, however, if mr. right has not come along, I dont think its your time yet! If this is something you feel you must do, I would consider you 1st childs father. He may be willing to "donate" his little friends. Im saying this because, kids are not babies forever, I can just see the anger from the second one now when she/ he is a teen with no dad, how unfair it is that their sister has a dad, and its all moms fault and why would you do this to them? People say that they can be the mother and father, well, you can when it comes to taking care of them but, when they are older, family and where they "come from" becomes important. I knew something was not right with my father situation growing up and at 22 my worries were confirmed, and I met my biological father. While there was reason for the separation, it is great for me to finally have him and the relationship we have. You almost feel more complete. I hope this is helpful, good luck