Single mom...no Dad...

Hi S.,
I would say be honest mommy and daddy weren't on the same page in our lives and be honest and answer only what will satisfy his interest. let him ask the question then you are not explaining to much. explain it in little kid terms. hope this helps W.

hi i had the same problem my son is now 3 almost 4 his dad just recently showed back up and i had to explain who he is to my son it was really difficult but it was easy cause he was there. there's really no easy way to explain it now my son's father is gone again now he keeps asking for him and i dont know what to do about that well gl i hope you figure it out

Hello S.,

One thing I have always been very proud of is I have NEVER let my children her me say anything bad about their father. I wanted them to come to some conclusion for themselves. I was married to him for 17 years and then I divorced him.Now its been 5 years since and one thing my boys have said is they are happy I never played those games. At the same time it is important to have some form of honesty with your son even at his young age. I am now 44 years old and my children are this year turning 22 and 19 years old. If you want to talk more let me know. Feel free to email me anytime....anytime at all.

God bless you and your family!

M.

I to am a single mom of a little boy that is 4 and he is asking the samething. All of the others on his soccer team had their dads there and he didnt. Sometimes he holds that against me telling me that it is my fault that he dont have a dad but his dad is the one that didnt want to be with us. I have told him that he does have a dad and it is God. He is with us all of them time! When the kids at preschool ask him he just tells them that he has a dad that is where they cant see him. I dont know what else to tell him he wants me to go to the store and buy him one if only life was that easy right!! Good Luck!

Hi S.,
Whatever you decide to tell your son, please don't talk about his father in a bad light. I would suggest limiting the explanation to a minimum at this point since he is too young to understand any detailed explanation. I would leave out the facts that you mentioned in your request such as his father left you when you were pregnant, you haven't heard from him since, the fact that you think he's a bad father, etc. These are issues between you and the father, and your son should not be burdened with it, especially at such a young age. Just remember that your son sees himself or will see himself as an extension of his father, so whatever you say about his father is a reflection upon himself. Please be gentle with what you eventually decide to tell him. Good luck!

Hi S.. What a hard question to answer...I guess it really depends on how much info you want him to know. I definately think you should explain that all families are different....ie: some families have a mom and dad, some have just a mom or dad...but it is important to stress how special your family is. I agree with just enough info to appease him though...not too much!

We too are in the same situation. My son's father asked me to have an abortion. I just couldn't do it. My son is noe 2 and asks the same question. Every guy friend I have he calls daddy. It freaks out some of my friends. lol The best thing to tell him is that you have mommy and thats all you need. You have any friends or family male figures that might be able to fill that roll as a father figure? Even a friend that will wrestle around with him might even be helpful.

Being a single mom for most of 12 years, I have had to address this question many times. Different ages obviously neeed different levels of explaining. At 3 I would simply say everyone has a mom and a dad, but your dad does not live with us. I have one child who does not see his dad and one that does see her dad and this answer makes both feel better. The best thing you can do is assure him that you love him and you will always be there for him. Hope this helps.

Hey it must be hard. What some people do is take the focus off of the daddy by making an uncle important or if your dad is close let your son be excited about his grandpa. You could try to explain that everyone lives different and that some kids dont have a mommy or their daddy but maybe just live with grandparents. He is so little he does require some answer but still hard for him to understand. Maybe pick something to watch that will show him. A movie where it is showing the kid living with only one parent or something. The only thing you can do is try to explain. The best thing to do is make him see how important the rest of his family is. (Grandparents, aunts and uncles..) Look at full house. They still play it on tv maybe try to find it and watch it with him. It is a good family show and he can see the kids in it have no Mommy in the house. The girls are raised by their Daddy and their Uncles.
Hope it helps. Good luck..
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C.

I agree with the other poster. Be honest, he deserves the truth, as much as he can handle at his age. That way there will never be any secrets that cause you problems down the road. I had a little boy in daycare who's mom had never told him about his dad, just told him he didn't have one and it caused a lot of problems.

When my son asked about his dad I would have his grandpa pick him up and do guy things with him. I think it is important for a child to have a "father" figure or at least a male role-model around, so I bet if you have a male relative or male friend spend some time with him he will stop asking. Especially if you can have the male figure pick him up from daycare or go to the father-son or daddy day activities at the daycare. I bet some of the other kids are asking your child where his dad is, so having them see your child with a male would probably stop the questions from them too. I think it is more of your child seeing other kids with their dads than your child missing having a dad so I think this solution will help.