19 answers

Single Mom with No Child Support Going on Bedrest

I'm Single working Mom outside the house with 19 mo old, 7 yr old, and pg with high blood pressure, due in Mar '07. My problem is that doc says that I should start preparing disability papers for bedrest that he's inevitably going to prescribe. Who do I ask for disability for this? DFACS? Medicaid? Somebody asked me if I have 3 mos on my job, what does that have to do with it? Do I need to ask my boss? Help!! I pay ALL bills by myself and don't know how to do that if I'm not working. Please don't even ask me about help from the father.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Just an update........
First thanks so much for all the great responses. I don't feel so alone now!! About 2 days after this post, they cut off all food stamps and medicaid for my children. Serious bummer- I cried the whole day. As a single mom, everything I make goes to bills. No $$ for toilet paper, soap, or food. However, I've decided to give the baby's father another chance. We will not live together, but it is the ultimate goal and I (hopefully) won't worry so much when I can't work because of bedrest. Wish me luck (and love)!

More Answers

I know how you feel. I'm a single mom also with no help from my son's father. I had to go back to work 3 weeks after giving birth to him because 3 weeks maternity leave was all my office paid me for. I didn't know about disability at the time either. I have since found out that you can sign up for short-term disability through your employer, so ask your boss. He or she should be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck!

I believe you must go through the Social Security department for disability. Something to do with SSI maybe. I hope this helps.

HI, I dont know if you will be eligiable for social security income. It is part of disability program where people cant go to work and they will give you source of income. Find out if you are eligiable for it. You can also try go to Dept of human service. They should help you. I dont know if you are on their program or not. They have family first program and food stamps if you need it. I have no idea about medicare program where they help you with it..

I am single mom too to 2 son, 2yr old and 1 month.. I dont get child support from their dad too..

I'm pretty sure disability comes from Social Security that's where my mom gets hers from. They base your benifits on how long you've worked total in your life(i'm pretty sure). You've probably gotten some things in the mail from time to time telling your if you died your kids would get X ammount from SS as benefits and such. I'm pretty sure that is but you could talk to your job too b/c they may need to do a leave of absence so you don't loose your job and also I'd see if you could get SS and an unemployment check b/c it's temporary unemployment and you might could get that too(or maybe that's the same as SS. Just get started on it asap b/c sometimes they drag their feet and the sooner the better. I've also seen some people that applied but got denied the first time so if that happens(with SS)just immediatly reapply.

Probably the length of time on your job is questioned for the Federal Medical Leave Act (FMLA). You cannot be reprimanded for time away for work under this Act. Some employers have a leave donation policy that allows other employees to "donate" their accrued sick time towards your sick leave "bank" that would allow you to still receive a pay check and benefits during your illness.

Disability does come from the Social Security Administration. You can complete the initial paperwork on-line at their website. I beleive it to be www.ssa.gov. After you complete the paperwork, you will have an interview appointment, then you case will go to review for approval or disapproval. I have a minor son on disability, the most important advice I can give you is keep copies of everything, complete the paperwork as accurately and completely as possible, and stay on top of things, check with them regularly (weekly), don't expect that they are as interested in your needs as you are, they aren't. There is nothing difficult about the paperwork, but the SSA employess are not going to help you gather needed info, they will just let your case sit and rot if you don't "take the reins", they expect you to do all the gathering and compiling.

First of all I would look for ways to bring the blood pressure down and to avoid the bed rest in the first place. Do some research on your own...not all doctors agree but some research shows that following a high protein diet can really help when you are pregnant. http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/pih.shtml This is a site from Dr. Tom Brewer about PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension)and how a good diet can effect this. It is worth a try. This is not something you can do nothing about.

Start with asking at work... is there a human resources person or department to talk to? I think short term disability usually comes from the employer and then social security helps with disabilities expected to last 6 mos. or longer.

The only disability paperwork that I know of besides social security(which is for permanent disability) is with your insurance company and it is usually something that you have to pay for to even have. Companies like AFLAC offer it, but if you are already pregnant, it is too late to get it. Check with your medical insurance company and see if it you have short term disability coverage. If you don't have it, check with DFACS or the Health Dept and see what you may qualify for.

J.,
I hate to hear that you are having a hard time. I agree with the others go to the workplace and to the human resource department. You will be able to take FMLA if you sick time you can get paid for it. Most workplaces do have a short and long term disability plan to help you while you are out sick. I know how you feel being a single mother with no support i was with my oldest son until he was 10 then i married my husband now.
I have also heard of the 211. You dial it from your phone. They have many resources.
If you don't have insurance or benefits at work then i would go to the Department of Human Services and they will be able to help you sign up for insurance and food stamps possible be able to get the "check" each month. With you and your other 2 kids and the one on the way i am sure that you qualify for WIC also, just check with your health department and they can help with that.
If you feel like you need to talk just email me anytime.
Good Luck
S.
____@____.com

I had the same problem before i delivered my daughter, but i didnt have any more children, you are in a real pickle... Do you have benefits is the first question??? You need to go to your Human resources and ask about your long term disability, how long do you have to be off before this will start working??? Did you sign up for short term disability? How long before they will cover you then also? GO TO YOUR HR dept and talk to them.. Maybe you may need to go to the health dept and get food stamps and WIC for a while... Just until you can get back on your feet again??? If you belong to a church, go talk to your pastor and see if they can help you out with your bills for a few months... I was so fortunate, I am a nurse and my work had a chaplains fund... They paid my mortgage for a month. If you have anymore questions, i would be happy to help... ____@____.com! It will work out, it always does, you know?

I hope that this gives you a good start.
M.

J.,
take it easy and try to relax..Your suppose to deal with your human resource department, about papers for going on short term or long term diability. Its does sometimes depend on long you have been on your job, so when someone asked they were correct. try starting with HR and they will guide you....

If you've been employed (by your current employer) for more than 12 months full-time, then you will qualify for FMLA. FMLA allows you 12 weeks of unpaid (or paid, if you have the sick time available) time off whether it be to care for yourself, your child, spouse, parent, or a new baby.

That's something that you need to talk about with your HR department at work.

Good luck!

You can and should ask your employer to start all the necessary paperwork for this situation. They know what to do when your doc gives you your bedrest paperwork. Let you company handle this problem, you should just worry about what you are going through with this pregnancy and the loved ones at home. Your stressed, but stay calm and let others do the worrying for you.

Go to http://www.211tn.org/ or call 211 from any land line phone in the Middle Tn area.

I have used this survice a lot and they are full of wonderful information on where to get help for just about anything. It is a free number/website and totally confidential.

Good luck and I hope this helps you with anything you need.

My dad is also trying to get disability, and from my knowlegde he said he got a lawyer that does ur paper work for you and helps u get disability. I dont know what they lawyers do from there but I know they get a percentage and they help you with what papers and such.

Most company's offer short-term disability where you are paid your salary/portion of your salary (amount usually based on length of employment at company)for a period of time. I would speak with your employer. However, if they do not offer I believe you would be entitled to time off via the Family Medical Leave Act, but I believe this only allows you to keep your position without getting paid.

Hi J.,
I would like to first say that I am really sorry that things aren't working the way you want them to... I myself was going through a very bad situation, though my daughters father was still in the picture while I was pregnant, he lost his job and couldnt find one fast enough..... So at seven months Pregnant I was working two jobs(during the christmas season)to barely make ends meet.... I wish I knew then what I know now, I am able to work from home and not have to feel bad for doing that, or even to have to take a huge pay cut.... I actually make more from home then what I made working those two commisioned based jobs.. I as a mom and young woman would love to help you the way a decent mom and a young woaman helped me, If you would like to hear more about what I do and what I can do to help you please feel free to email me, ____@____.com. Looking forward to hearing from you.
A.

Dear J.,
Just last year I was in your shoes. I was pregnant with my 5th child by somebody else. The father of my 4 girls decided that he didn't want to pay child support because I had gotten pregnant by someone else.I had a high risk pregnancy on complete bed rest and to top it all off I was in the hospital when I was 6 months for 3 weeks no help from neither father.
How you thought about seeking child support? Well if so, be prepared to go thru that process for like 6 months.Try seeking DFCS help as far as medicaid goes to help with the hospital bills, hopefully you will be able to get disability. I wish you the best.Put it in GOD hands and he knows how to work it out. I would love to hear bck from you.

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