Signing up for Activities and Then Not Wanting to Go...

Once I paid they go. Doesn't mean they have to do it next time. It's important to learn that when you make a commitment you stick with it. At times you agree to something and then regret agreeing. You still have to carry through with the commitment. It's part of life.

Take them to the ones you have already paid for & do not sign them up for any more. Do not suggest any more activities to them, if they wan to do something they will bring it up to you.Then you can tell them once I pay for this there is no backing out you are committed to it.

In our house, if they said they want to do it and I pay for it, they WILL honor their commitment. But once the season is done, I don't force them to do it again if they TRULY didn't enjoy it. We've gone through years of gymnastics only to quit and start ice-skating, which gave way to swimming, and a few seasons of soccer, t-ball and lacrosse. Art classes,karate, ballet, you name it, we've done it. I don't mind my children trying all these activities - how will they know what they really like without actually trying. But they MUST at least try the season or session if I've already paid for it. After all that trial and error, my oldest is now doing karate and playing guitar, my oldest daughter swims, plays piano and violin, and tennis, and my youngest is STILL waffling between ballet and gymnastics and lacrosse and tennis and piano - I hope she'll make up her mind someday...

My kids did this at one time. I wasn't going to put up with it. So we made a Family rule if you have signed up you are committed for the duration. A- it cost us money that is not replaceable and B- you would be letting your teammates/classmates down if you don't show up. This has worked and if they didn't enjoy it then we didn't sign up again. Since we made the rule the battles have ended, I just remind them that they asked and have to stick it out. Now I have a 7 and 10 year old and one does wrestling and the other martial arts. They both are gone 2 nights a week and we have decided with school work and just reg. life that this is enough and we don't sign up for any more. Good luck!

We have 2 sons who are into the wanting to do everything and then...not when we start getting into the activity. We have a policy. You can do or not do whatever you want...but you do it, and you finish the season...period..no ifs and or buts about it. You never ever have to do it again, but once you are signed and start something, you are finishing what you started. Next year if they want to do something else...fine.

We do require our kids to pick an activity every season fall/winter and spring/summer because they have to try something (anything is better than hanging at home watching TV or playing video games)....but they aren't allowed to quit until they have at least tried and given it a shot (the entire program or season).

It can make for some battles getting them to practices and things sometimes, but they know they are in it for the duration, and I think they will learn a lot more about the lesson of dependability and responsibility than great baseball,swimming, and/or hockey skills.

It isn't just the money. It is that you finish what you start, and other people are depending on them to be there. It can be a battle, but our kids are finally figuring out that whining and complaining only works to their disadvantage since instead of getting them out of the activity, it loses them things like treats or time playing with friends.

I hate this too...my son is the same way with many activities and it drives me crazy. This whole last year I just decided to not sign him up for much. He enjoys staying home though - he never complains or acts like he is missing out on things. We just had "winterfest" here in our town with all these fun activities for families and he put up a big fuss right when it was time to leave. We basically had to drag him there and once we were there he was happy and enjoying himself. ugh. If it is something we paid for then he has to go and I force him to go to it if he does not feel like it. It's so unpleasant. He always enjoys it once he is there.

Absolutely without a doubt they must go. They must commit to the activity and finish it out. If they decide they don't like it fine, don't sign up again. This is the most valuable lesson you can teach your children at this age. They must learn to think wisely about their decisions and commit fully to them. It doesn't matter what the activity, sports, art, dance whatever, they need to learn about making and keeping commitments, especially when they are costing money.

Whose the Mom? What do kids this age know? How much life experience do they have?
You are letting them run their own upbringing. Get up your courage and your mind and say, " You are going to try this out and give it six weeks to see if you like it." Then take them whether they protest or not.

Make them experience life otherwise they'll become boring and bored people.

My grandson was offered a free string instrument and lessons at school. I explained to him personality and instruments. He did the cello for a year and went to cello concerts at the symphony hall. At the end of the year he moved into Jr. High telling me he was not the right personality for the cello. He chose the alto sax and now he is in the band for the fourth year as he is in high school.
If I had it to do over again I would have gotten my children music lessons for the discipline and the musical appreciation it bestows.
As for myself I built the discipline as a dancer from 8 - 29 years of age all on my own say so.
Your kids have no self discipline and they won't unless you help them to get it.

I am anxious to hear what others have to say about this - my 7yr. old son is the same way...

For what it's worth, here is my perspective....I'm pretty pragmatic when it comes to this kind of thing. I don't believe children at that age should be allowed to just drop out of an activity that they chose on a whim. It is not like you are trying to get her to go do something that may not be age appropriate. Your children are old enough to make a choice like this and comprehend what it means when you sign up. It is now a responsibility to attend. I feel that as parents it is our role to teach our kids to value their commitments and respect others. Therefore, once they requested to sigh up, and you have done us, I wouldn't even ask them again whether they still want to go. You are opening up the opportunity for them to say no. I would instead just announce that this week on such and such day is your art class. How fun! And then take him/her as planned. Next time when you are signing up for a class, I would consider the following:
1. When you ask if s/he is interested in signing up, make sure you clearly state that signing up means that they are committed to go to the class (barring illness,etc, of course which you do not tell them in advance). So, they need to pick carefully.
2. If they put their foot down and really refuse to go to the class after having signed up. Rather than force them, give them a choice. "Well, the class cost me $30, so either you go or you pay me back the $30 from your allowance/piggy bank, etc." If they don't have $$ (e.g., gifts from grandparents in their piggy bank or similar), then tell them they need to find something to give up in exchange - such as a toy. The object is for them to understand they have a responsibility once they make a choice.
3. The next time they ask to sign up for an activity, tell them you really need to think about it because the last time they did not want to go and that was wasteful. If they had ended up going to the class even if reluctantly at first, then reset the expectation and sign them up. If the time for class comes and they again say they don't want to go, well, that's the end of that. Collect for the class and then next time they want to sign up, they don't get to. Period. Immediate consequence. Let them earn back the opportunity.

When it comes to the whole soccer situation. I would not sign him up again, even if he asks, unless he played out the season joyfully and really is interested. Make him wait it out another season and if he asks again the following year, set expectations and sign him up if he understands and is onboard with the expectation that he will not change his mind or drop without giving it his best effort.

By the way, I read someone say it is not about the money. Well, it certainly is not all about the money, it is about responsibility, but kids this age also need to learn the value of money. So, in a way it is also about the money and teaching them to be responsible to themselves, to others and in making small financial decisions.

Hope that helps!

They do it because they don't feel like interrupting what they're doing in order to go to the activity, or they don't feel like putting in the effort to get ready to go out for the activity. It's completely normal, and I agree, you should make them go. If they come home telling you how awful it was, that's one thing. If they enjoy it once they're there, ignore the protests that they don't want to go.

Ignore her and take her anyway...she should learn that she will need to express herself better in the future about what she does/doesn't like to do. And don't even give them the option to not go to a planned activity in the future...they say they want to do it they have to do it.

You just need to tell them...."If you say you want to do something and I sign you up and pay for it, you are going whether you say you don't want to or not. You don't get to change you mind after I've paid anymore."

It's either that, or quit offering to sign them up for things for a while. Tell them that it doesn't seem they appreciate it so you're not even going to ask them anymore.
My son's friend was like this and his parents told him he had to finish what he started. But, he would just sit down on the baseball or soccer field and refuse to even move from his spot. He'd sit there and literally let people run over him. His parents could make him put his uniform on and make him go, but they couldn't make him do anything once he got there.
They just gave up.
He was more into tinkering with things. They got him an old dirt bike and his dad taught him how to take it apart and fix it up and work on it.

Best wishes. I hope you get some great responses.