20 answers

Siblings Should Care for Younger vs Parents Made the Babiesso Should Raise Them

How much help should older, teen siblings be doing with your kids? Free babysitting? How often?

I think they can occasionally help out but that parents chose to have the kid so parents should be responsible for the kids. Let kids be kids. I don't think teens should have to babysit while studying, especially AP college classes.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Siblings should not be forced to raise the kids. Watching them now and then is pretty normal tho, siblings should care enough about pitching in on occasion. But for a parent to make an older sibling responsible for the youngers ALL the time, NO-- that is just so unfair and wrong. If it's a temp thing because something is affecting the family unit tho, family does need to step up and help out.
Should big sis raise the kids? NO. Should big sis help out now and then? Yep. It's good education, no different than helping cook in the kitchen. It gives you some adult skills and its a great birth control teacher.

4 moms found this helpful

I completely agree. Exactly how much help depends on the family situation. Teens should be teens and if responsible enough not to become teen parents they shouldn't have to raise children.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Wow. I'm surprised that so many of us think so positively about this. I believe in families working together and doing things that need to be done including some free babysitting here and there. I do not believe, however, that parents should have more kids while planning for the existing kids to do the parenting. I think parents should keep the responsibility of the raising the children and the continual childcare with the parents. I think it is unfair when the parents choose to have many kids knowing that they will put the kids to work in this way. A long time ago, things were very different. Many families had so many children due to lack of or disbelief in birth control. Children were often created to help with the family's farm or business. We have evolved from there. I think kids have a right to a childhood and should get to reserve the job of parenting for when they choose to become parents!

6 moms found this helpful

Siblings should not be forced to raise the kids. Watching them now and then is pretty normal tho, siblings should care enough about pitching in on occasion. But for a parent to make an older sibling responsible for the youngers ALL the time, NO-- that is just so unfair and wrong. If it's a temp thing because something is affecting the family unit tho, family does need to step up and help out.
Should big sis raise the kids? NO. Should big sis help out now and then? Yep. It's good education, no different than helping cook in the kitchen. It gives you some adult skills and its a great birth control teacher.

4 moms found this helpful

My high school daughter is expected to watch her younger sibling for free when I have to make short trips to the grocery store, doctor's appt, etc. (although she is usually rewarded with something). If my husband and I are going on a date, etc or are going to be gone for more than an hour or so, we definitely pay her as we would pay another babysitter if we only had one young child. It's not her fault she was born first!

4 moms found this helpful

I think older siblings should watch younger ones. Families are just that, families and should operate as a unit. Everyone contributes. It shouldn't be a part time job for them, but I think that they should help regularly. My older brothers watched me when I was younger and I watched my younger sister when I was old enough to.

4 moms found this helpful

I know a family where the teenaged daughter was asked to keep an eye on the two year old sibling while Mom ran to the store. The teenaged daughter got a phone call and lost track of the two year old who wound up in the bottom of their pool. The family was destroyed. People never think things like that will happen to them. I'm sure this family didn't either.

There are 13 years between my oldest and my next daughter. My oldest daughter doesn't live at home now (she's 24) but while she did, I never asked her to watch her baby sister. I wanted her to be the sister, not the caretaker. She loved her baby sister, loved showing her off to all her friends and played with her, bathed her, etc., helped with her as much as she wanted to (but never changed a diaper :) If something happened to our baby, even if it wasn't as serious as what happened above, I don't think it's fair to put that responsibility on a teenaged kid.

Just a different perspective.

Blessings!
L.

4 moms found this helpful

I completely agree. Exactly how much help depends on the family situation. Teens should be teens and if responsible enough not to become teen parents they shouldn't have to raise children.

4 moms found this helpful

Me either! I see nothing wrong with having some occasional sitting or help with younger siblings required as being part of a household, but it shouldn't cut into study time or time the teens would be spending on extra-curricular activities or simply hanging out with their friends. If parents want to have a bunch of kids, then THEY need to care for them or hire someone to do so. If teens want to care for children, they have their future adult years to have as many as they want, and they can babysit for money as teenagers if they want. I have seen far too many households where the teenager is basically told to skip practices or that she can't go out with friends simply because the parents are too cheap and selfish to hire a babysitter, so they make her do it.

4 moms found this helpful

I have the "luxury" of having three teens and a 4yo so I live this scenario. I do try to not take advantage of having "live in" babysitters but I do call on them to help me out. If I have a doctor appointment I tell them I need them to watch their little brother, same with trips to the grocery store. If my husband and I want a night out however, I do ask them to watch their brother and if we have the means at the time, I will pay them -they work cheaper than a hired sitter ;) . If my kids already have plans I NEVER make them cancel theirs in order for me to keep mine, that wouldn't be right. We are family, we all pitch in.
Edit: I would never let it impact my older kids school work!

4 moms found this helpful

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