Siblings Caught Kissing

No need to go overboard with counseling and whatever. This is normal behavior for many kids. It's called experimenting. They see this behavior all over the place. They are young and do not necessarily know any better or are curious. We've all heard of "playing dr." Just talk to them and explain what needs to be explained. Parenting is all that is needed here...not couseling or panicking. Everything will be fine.

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Wow that's a toughy! I think regardless of how often she see's him you should probably explain that kissing an 8 yo is inappropriate and kissing is something you do with a husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend. I see no harm in her kissing him if she wants to on his cheek. Perhaps she is just confused on how a brother/sister relationship works and whats appropriate. I'd watch them more closely and maybe she can see him more often so you can help her develop a proper brother/sister relationship. Good luck!

Hi there, I don't know if I am any authority on this subject, but my first thought it : don't make TOO much of a deal over it.. It could have an adverse reaction. I would correct them like you did, tell them it isn't acceptable behavior. One question I have for you is did you explain why it is unacceptable? Also, did You ask them WHY they were doing it.. what was their motive?? Knowing that may be the key to preventing it from happening again. Good luck with this. A.

Relax. These are children, not adults. With the strange situation they are in, it is possible even they don't know how to respond.

Congratulations on your progress. Keep up with the puzzles, sounds like fun.

What lessons are the kids in? Sounds like they are not in enough lessons if they have time for all that.

Vigilant supervision and communication with them, especially her, is what I'd recommend. You may want to consider counselling for her. Don't just assume this will go nowhere. These things are very tricky, not to mention up-setting. You want it to stop right here!

By the way, I'm attending Weight Watchers and finding it much easier than I thought. I still have a lot to lose but am optimistic. The program works well for diabetics.

Hi D.. Sorry you are in this spot, it must be really confusing. I have a son that will be 11 this week and I think that at this age, there really is not room for confusion about who he is and isn't to your daughter. I think she should be fully understanding that and if she isn't, I would most definately look into some professional intervention. I think you are way better safe than sorry. She may be experiencing confusion about her own feelings and changes in her body and such, but that still is something she would benefit from talking to someone about. I know people are quick to say this, but it could also be a sign that she has experienced inappropriate (or worse) advances from someone older than her, family or friend that could be creating the confusion. There is of course always the possibility that nothing "big" is going on and they just made a bad choice, but you are always better safe than sorry.....GOOD LUCK!!!

They were probably just playing. Right? Don't panic. But, be firm about inappropriate behavior. In today's world people make such a fuss about things that were normal when I was a kid. I know a 12 year old being prosecuted in court for something similar...

S.

Hi D..
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she needs therapy. She is preteen, and this is an age where kids often explore. You need to determine if it was just innocent exploration or something that does need to be addressed.

She of course is exposed to it everywhere... even something as simple as seeing consenting adults in her life sharing a kiss. You need to talk to her and explain that what she was doing is something adults do to show affection and love for one another. That it is not appropriate for children to demonstrate this behavior. Teach her other appropriate ways to show her brother she loves him.

If it seems this is more of an impulse control thing, then yes, that needs to be addressed. But you can just jump to that conclusion as some have suggested. Kids mimick what they see. If we do not tell them what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, then they do not know. Kids learn from the adults, TV, friends at school, and many other influences in their lives. If they have been shown that you kiss those you love...that is what they will do.

Take it slow. Talk to her and her brother. Try to determine the root cause. Then, go from there.

Some kids at this age are just exploring, others have trouble with impulse control. If it is impulse control, it needs to be treated by a counselor. Keep a close eye, to see where this came from, was she exposed to it on tv, other kids in middle school? Has she tried to iniaite this typeof contact with others? Are you positive that she initiated it and not the boy? You are right to be concerned. Because of the family dynamics, she has a brother (technically, isn't he her uncle?) and maybe an information session would help. I assume you told the boy's mother, but just checking.

I would definitely monitor the 11 year old. It's unacceptable at her age with whoever, but she shouldn't be confusing an 8 year old either.
I would say take her aside and explain firmly but as a caring parent why this won't be tolerated, find out where she learned that behavior, why she thinks it's okay. Then set the record straight for her. Getting her input will make it seem less like she's committed a capital offense.
Take the brother aside and explain in an age appropriate way why he should not allow sis to do that and to let you know if/when it happens again.
If someone's learning something like this from tv, then they aren't watching it anymore.