Sibling Fighting

Hey V.:

Know what your going through, I have twin girls age 8 and talk about the mouth pieces these girls have ! Not sure where they came from because I sure didn't fight with my sisters like they fight (at least not in front of Mom anyway !)

So I took them to my theripist and this is what I now do.... It only took a little time to work so I'm really happy with the way things have changed at home:

We told the girls that fighting between them must stop. We love one another and must use words, if Mom has to get involved then BOTH have a consequence, Mom doesn't get involved in their issues or problems. The tattle telling will stop, when one or the other do it they BOTH get consequences, like right now one is yelling for me but I continue to sit here doing what I need to do to keep my sanity.
This is the part I love, the consequences are house cleaning related, like I just reminded them "who's wants a consequence to wash my dishes ?" On child has now come out of the room and is on the couch, stress solved for Mom.
Now I don't do it perfectly and I do get involved when it's an issue they both need to listen and learn but I'll tell you the peace I get AND some of the house work I need gets done, is wonderful !! Of course in my case the bickering rolled into the school so I'd send them off with Hope you have a great day but PLEASE get into trouble cause I have laundry that needs to be folded ect. And of course the rewards are "gallery movie rentals", ride to the store for a bar of icecream after dinner, .50 cents for shopping the next time to the dollar store or goodwill ect.
And of course the ultimate consequence returning to the therpist, as they don't like it cause it made them feel like "they behave like spoiled children" and they KNOW they are not ! In there own words, "if we were spoiled we would get anything we want" ha ha
Hang in there and remember they are only with us for a short time and before we know it, they'll be gone !

Good luck and thank care !
-W.

This may sound bad but it worked for fights between my two sons. "The two of you! Go outside 'cause I don't want to clean any blood off the furnature! (I would draw a circle just big enough for them to move about a foot in any direction in the dirt/snow) I don't want either of you two to step foot out side this ring till one of two things has happened, either you can hug and forget whatever you two are scrapping over OR you draw blood! (Then I would heckle them both while they took half hearted swings at each other and start bawling because, "Mom was MAKING them fight and they didn't want to any more.") Like I said, it sounds bad but truth be known, it usually only took 1-2 minutes of them walking around in the circle with me asking "what are you doing? Dancing?! Mix it up! I thought you two wanted to fight? Well,... FIGHT!" for them to realise, "Hey, this is my only brother, I don't really want to hurt him." and hug instead.

Im one of 3 and Im the OLDEST and me and my sister would FIGHT with fist and it dont get any better i dont no how my mom did but she use to say let them have it and then it will be out of there system .. LoL it dont work but every now and then we get along not like we should but its just a battle that NEVER ends sorry leave them in a room and see if they can play together that was the ONLY thing that me and my sister did together was play dolls and a few other things .. now we have kids and they do the same thing as me and my sister did and there cuz.. but try the Dolls or a game that they both might like...

It might work ...
J. Marie

Get Supernanny's Book, good advice.

I am a mother of three as well andmy oldest two are the same way. I honestly don't think that there is anything ou can do except to ignore it. Siblings fight. My brother and I fought, my husband and his brothers fought, my kids fight. It's natural. My mom always use to tell me when I picked on my brother"just wait one day he will be bigger than you and he'll get you back." And he did... I think in some weird way it's the way that siblings show they care about each other... if you do find someway to make the fighting stop though PLEASE let me know!