Sibling Battles - 3-Yr-old & 7-Yr-old Lego Wars!

Updated on August 28, 2012
B.K. asks from Kaufman, TX
9 answers

I have a three-year-old & seven-year-old who both LOVE Legos...they both have similar personalities (bossy & stubborn)...and they FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT over the Legos! I know Legos are made for a little bit older kiddos, but as far as capacity, my three-year-old is totally capable of handling the Legos...he is capable of building with patience, he doesn't chew on them or put them in his mouth, or anything like that. Both boys have their own sets of Legos but they are DIFFERENT sets of Legos...& thus the battle begins...it's mostly a battle over the little characters...they both pretty much want all of the characters at one time. We also have trouble when the 7-year-old builds something & then moves onto another set of Legos, the 3-year-old likes to pick up the original creation & play with it (often times, taking it apart)...my 7-year-old just about DIES when this happens! I want to respect my older son's space but I also want him to understand how to share & be kind to his younger brother. I just don't know how to handle the situation...so I have a couple of specific questions. Are far as expectations go, what is appropriate for each child (there is four year's difference so I know there's some developmental differences, of course)? Should I expect them to both share all the Legos? Should I make a special box for the 7-year-old & let those be Legos be JUST his to be played with when little brother isn't around? Should the rule be once you put it down it's fair game for others to play with? I need some direction here...I know you guys probably have some great solutions...I'm looking forward to hearing what's worked for you! :)

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

But their own sets and make them keep them in their own rooms. If they come out of their rooms the toys go into time out for not minding...the kids think it's funny but I am dead serious. They have lost toys for days for that toy being out of their rooms.

If they share a room then you do have a bigger issue since they have no separate places to play and have their own toys.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would get them each their own Legos to play with. Nothing would be more maddening to the 7-year old than to have the 3-year old take apart his creation! How would you feel if you created something and another adult took it apart?

You could do buckets. 7-year old gets his bucket, 3-year old gets his bucket and there could be a "community bucket" if you want.

If someone makes something then the other can't touch it without permission.

I am 100% for sharing, but not forced sharing. I would be very upset if someone forced me to share my things and kids are no different. I think teaching ownership is just as important. If something belongs to someone, it is their decision whether they want to share it. And the person who doesn't want to share has the right to say "no" but also know that a person who is stingy doesn't have many friends.

My brother was 4 years younger than me and I was upset when he used to destroy my creations. However, when we got older I then moved to the role of teaching him how to make his own creations. So give your sons time to grow up and it will improve as well.

Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I"m enjoying these responses because my twins just turned 5 and are now allowed Legos...and they LOVE them!!! They fight over some of the pieces, but since they got a ton for their birthday there are plenty to go around. I wanted to share with you, too, that you can get USED legos at this GREAT new store in Denton called Minifigs, Bricks and More, that opens this week! Might be a money saver and a sanity saver too, to have multiple pieces. :) mhttp://www.facebook.com/MinifigsBricksandMore

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

As cheap as legos are, either first hand or resale, I would just buy more.

The thing with the little figures is nothing more than usual sibling I want what you have because you have it so I will yell and see who mom loves more. The easiest way to make that stop is take all the figures away until they can share nice. Sometimes they will still fight but they keep it to themselves so they don't lose the precious objects. :)

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My boys are 4 and 8 and love legos. If they fight about the legos I put them away. They most often argue about the little guys and want the one the other has. They usually work it out between themselves b/c they don't want me to get involved and put them away. What happens most often is if the little one wants a guy the 8 y/o has they make trades ~ I'll give you this guy if you give me that guy and the truck.

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B.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

Legos are a great thing! Yes they should share and yes they should get to have their own to keep. At my house we have a huge container full of legos all mixed together. They of course start out as sets and soon turn into whatever they want to make of them. If one of my grandsons has a new set that he has put together he can keep it until he leaves it lay somewhere then it goes into the bucket with the rest. If they are really special to one of your sons he should keep it in a special place until it is no longer special and then it is mixed with the rest. Just don't listen to the fighting it will never end if you try to mediate. When they fight about pieces I say "I guess you guys are done playing legos" and they seem to figure out who is going to get that piece.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 3 and 6-year-old boy, and a beautiful gated Lego area in their shared room (but off-access to baby). They fight all the time over them. The 6-year-old has anxiety when he goes to school that his little brother will touch them. The 3-year-old gets to play with them in peace when his brother is at school. And then the 6-year-old comes home and is mad and inappropriate. I told them to play with them together. Someday they will all get thrown out, otherwise.

Dad would have no problems throwing toys out, too! I refuse to get involved in such a dumb fight with them. If they can't share, too bad. Sorry my post isn't really much help, just to say I understand, and I'm sick of their fighting over toys that many children don't even have.

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E.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Those are my boys too! Only mines are 6 & 8 and they seem to be in love with legos! I just dont get it. We have tons of legos & they still fight/argue over the same little piece. So I dont have the answer but I would let your 3 yr old play with them when the 7 yr old is at school then trade. When 7 yr old gets home have him play alone. This allows them to build & play with out fighting. If they do play together I always tell my boys share & be fair ( it only works for about 10 min) and I say if I hear either one upset or fighting they will be put away! Thats it I put them away. Lately they have been sharing. Good luck & if you find what works please share!

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

The rule at our house is that if someone else built something you cannot take it apart without asking. They do share the lego pieces once they've built the origional structure and taken it apart.

The guys are always a problem. We have bought a few of those "mystery" packs, where you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. My boys usually claim the guys that came with thier kits.

M

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