Sibling Babysitters

I'm an oldest - have a brother 3 years younger and a sister 9 years younger.

I started watching my brother when I was maybe 8. Not for long periods of time, more like "Nuts, I've got to go across the street for a minute - watch your brother". And as a teen was asked to watch them also.

I see nothing wrong with your teen watching her siblings. And, honestly, I'm not sure incentive is an issue. I was told this is what families do - watch out for and care for each other. I'm not saying she should do this every night, but if there are times you and hubby want to go to supper, there is no reason your teen shouldn't watch her sibs.

Make sure you lay out very specific rules and that you stress them with ALL the kids before you go. For example make sure everyone knows what time is bedtime. While you're home, everyone may know that 8:30 is bedtime, but you're gone and this is just big sis and #2 doesn't really want to go to bed. Set out specific things like that - makes things easier all the way around.

My older kids have all ways babysat for us, it just part of helping out. We do not pay them but sometimes we will get them something they have asked for or wanted. They might get to stay out longer go somewhere the other kids don’t. Sometime we slip them money but it’s not to be expended. I know our neighbors think this isn’t right and never had their oldest babysit .now that he has his own he doesn’t know what to do.

Yes, it's fair. I baby sat my younger brothers and my older siblings baby sat me and my younger brothers. It's part of being in a family. However, just have her do it when you really need her to, like if you need to run some errands or keep them out of the kitchen while you cook. If you need her to watch them for something like a date with your husband, you might want to consider giving her a little pocket change or treat her to a movie. Not too much, just enough to say you appreciate her help. I don't know how often you expect her help, but keep in mind that she's a teenager and she's needs time with her friends, too. Remember, you're only young once.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking the older sibling to babysit - esp if he/she babysits to make extra money. I used to do it all the time - the way it worked in our house as far as being paid was if my parents needed me to babysit, but someone else had asked if I could babysit for that same night, they would pay me. Otherwise it was just something that I was expected to do to help out the family. I think that it is important to help out and do chores, and that is something that would help you out considerably.

I am the oldest in my family, I was expected to babysit my younger sibling and a few of the neighbor kids, It was never really a big deal, it was just something you did. So no I don't think it is unfair, As a side not I have two siblings who are the same ages as my kids, and I was still expected to help babysit, not often but every know and then :).

Not at all. I babysat for my brother a lot. Make sure you pay her, which will encourage the responsibility and give her a chance to earn her own money too. If she is mature enough and can not just treat them like siblings I would say go for it.

consider their schedule and pay them.
C. B

lol...did your dd say it wasn't fair? life isn't fair as my mom would put it...okay that response never gets a good reaction from a teenager...but here is a bit of background to my upcoming answer. I am the 3rd of 13 children. My mom had 13 kids in 20 years so we are all fairly closely spaced. My sister just younger than me is only 2 years younger than I am. I babysat ALL the time. It wasn't something I recall being optional, I also don't remember resenting it most of the time. Once in a while I would get frustrated but there were expected responsibilities in a family. One thing I think is a shame in this day is that kids are not given enough responsibilities. They are maturing faster and faster as far as sexuality etc. goes but less and less as far as understanding responsibility and the value of work. When I was 14 I watched my younger siblings for a week. No one died. The kids were fed, the house was clean. I did a good job. No, not all kids are that responsible but it wasn't something the neighbors thought was wrong or strange, where I think now people would be hyper critical of that same situation. I'm only 31. It wasn't that long ago. We did have a family meeting on Sunday nights to go over the weeks events and schedule we all discussed our activities etc. for the week. I knew ahead of time the days and times I would be needed to babysit. My mom had set times for her grocery shopping and errands so there were not often surprise runs to the store. when it did happen it was no big deal. When I complained it wasn't fair. My parents would say no one said it was. Ouch. but true. I know with my younger siblings my dad especially got better at talking...he would ask instead, what do you feel is unfair? and he would listen to the vent and feelings and ask how it could be a situation that would feel fair? and come to a resolution with the kids help. It was often something as simple as assigning one of the other kids to cook the dinner that night. Or getting to stay up an hour later since they didn't get their "me" time. They still had the responsibility, but were given a voice to their frustrations. I like that approach he took. I have used it with my foreign exchange daughter (17) and I try on a younger level with my 2 year old as well, who by the way...has chores. (no, not slave labor haha but she helps take her own laundry down and start the load with me, she wipes up her own messes and picks up her toys and makes her bed.) so in the wise words of my father...ask her "what does fair mean to you?"

I didn't have younger siblings, but I had friends who babysat their siblings. Usually just as a part of helping out the family. If it was more extended or special circumstances they might get paid a bit, but usually not.

Yes, I think that it is ok for you to ask her to watch her brothers and sisters. I would however, make sure you reward her in some way. Money, a movie, dinner, whatever. And as long as it is not constantly where she can not do anything by herself with her friends, then I think it is fine. Treat it as a sitter but with better services! :) Good Luck!