Shower Etiquette for Baby Number 2 - Arcadia,FL

A friend of mine is having a baby shower for her second child and she is doing a tea party for all the mommies. She requested diapers and wipes and was detailed with which kind. At the bottom of the invite it just said, "no children please". And most will be glad to have some girlie time with you. Don't fear. Since you do not wish to have diapers....perhaps wipes or shampoos, lotions...or explain to your guests that your baby to arrive has all it needs and if your guests still wish to contribute something, feel free to make a donation to the children's hospital or another organization of your choice in your baby's honor. Someone did this for their 2 yr old's birthday. People will not expect to give you presents without a registry but some may still want to treat you anyways. It's all about love.
Congrats!

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I'm pregnant with baby #3, and we're having a Blessingway. No gifts, just a way to celebrate the pregnancy and give blessings and best wishes for the new little one. We are doing a food tree, though, and that is a great way for people to feel like they're giving you something anyway- and not much is more needed or appreciated after birth than some great homecooked food dropped off at your house!
Good luck and congratulations!
K.

1 mom found this helpful

I have been to two blessingways and they were wonderful. Here is a link to some information on it: http://empoweringbirthservices.com/Blessingway.aspx
It's a wonderful way to celebrate the mom - the first shower was the baby and now this time the mom. You can have intimate friends and family, make it potluck, have drinks. Have your sister set up the requirements in the invitation: no children, bring a bead or a flower, etc. It really allows the mom to be focused on before she is just so busy with the new baby. Good luck.

I just had my 4th and had a shower but how about a mommy to be shower. Things to help ofter the birth. Like lotions, slippers ,etc.

All the advice you received was great but I would like to add that you could also tell people you will be donating all the baby gifts given to a charity or someone you know who has a real need for the things that will be given. I am a recipient of things at my local womens pregnancy help center and I will tell you it is a blessing from God to not worry about buying clothes and as many diapers. Have fun at your party whatever type it is.

Don't worry what others think. I had four kids, and even though I had been through it before, my friends insisted on throwing me a party with each one. So I had 4. I just got different gifts each time, including toys for my older children. And since my third baby was my first and only girl, I actually benefited since I didn't have any girl stuff before. With number 4, I insisted I didn't need anything, so it really was just a party. What was most appreciated was the offers of home cooked meals for when I came home.
The first baby shower is all about becoming a new mom and the excitement that comes with it. Subsequent showers don't have to be "showers". Just parties. Each baby deserves to be celebrated and I can't wrap my head around why that's a bad thing. It's a time to have fun, hang out, and make it a big deal for older siblings as well. It may be taboo, but I think that's perhaps the view that a shower is for mom and it seems selfish to have more then one...? But if it's a party for the baby, then that's not selfish at all!

I'm so happy to hear you aren't looking for a shower with gifts! Once upon a time baby showers were for first time moms to help them get all the things they need for baby. The past couple of years I have been invited to a couple of showers where the mother just had a baby of the same sex less than two years ago!

Anyway, how about a "pamper the new mommy to be" event! You can put "Please no children or gifts" at the bottom of the invitation. Plan a few hours of whatever you and your friends like to do, shopping, movie, etc... and a nice lunch or dinner in a moderately priced place. A chance to have some relaxation and "me" time before new baby arrives to fill the calendar for the next couple of years!

How about having a Baby Bash..invite both men and women to celebrate the fact the you & your husband are having another child. You can put on the invites "no gifts please". You could have a dinner for everyone or grill something and/or have everyone bring a dish.

You should look up information on a blessingway, a party for celebrating mom, wqith whatever things you want, lie henna tatooing your belly, doing a plaster belly cast, circling up and having your friends say what they love about you, and their wishes for your birth experience. look it up.

Common practice is to have a baby shower for the first baby. Everyone I know would be in shock if someone was to have a baby shower for another child coming into the family. I think if it were me I would have it for the older brother as you mentioned. I would just say I am having a Big Brother Welcome Party to help your son adjust with the coming of the new baby. And suggest if they want to bring gifts to bring him a gift other than for the baby. Usually if there is a baby shower and there is an older sibling from a previous marraige,etc. I bring the baby a gift but also the older sibling. I personally do not attend baby showers after the first born.

No matter what you decide to do with or without gifts...

If I ever got a chance to plan another baby shower...I would defiantly Buy one of these for the family to be.
http://www.guestbookstore.com/baby_shower.html

My BFF got me one for my baby shower and still to this day my husband and i LOVE to read it and thumb threw it here and there!! Honestly the best keepsake i have!!

I loved it so much I designed my own pages for one for my sons baptism...the woman who owns it is super nice...I think her name is Lori or Lisa...

A. Congrats on your newest bundle of joy! I come from a family that loves to celebrate - my grandmother when where little and had to go to the doctor would make it a celebration and take us to lunch. It was a great memory of just the girls spending time together. I say celebrate however you would like too. A girls outing sounds great. I wouldn't get to worried about gifts - some people just like to give gifts - or like shopping - and will give one even if the invite says no gifts. I say have the shower or party you would like to have - enjoy!!

Congrats on your pregnancy!! I personally think each and every pregnancy is worth celebrating, not just your first. The gifts aren't necessarily as lavish for your second (or third, or forth) as with the first, and maybe gifts aren't part of the celebration.

Pregnancy is such a great gift and each child is unique and special, and therefore deserve their special day pre-delivery (and so does mommy).

Have you gone with your family to do a "pregnancy" photo? I only have one child but my husband and I did a photo. But my sister now has two and when she was pregnant with her second the three (really four) of them did a photo and it is awesome!!

Good luck on deciding how to celebrate but whatever you decide will be special!

If you are sure you don't want gifts, you could have the shower and be VERY clear in the invitations that, in lieu of gifts, donations will be accepted for a local women's shelter or a local pregnancy home for young girls, or something like that.

If you are really pregnant, you could have the ladies all sign your belly with a sharpie, like an autograph book and take photos of it (since it will eventually wash off!) That would be so cute!!!

Congrats!

if you want to celebrate being pregnant, how about a pamper mommy's praty. with tea, maybe find a mary key person to do facials or satin hands, specify that if the person would like to bring a gift, then get something for the mommy to use while pregnant, or something relaxing after the baby comes, mayne giftcard to a local resturant.
i was at a party like this recently, it was so much fun, that i was tempted to have anoter baby just for a party. :)

Hmmm... I found this post interesting because you said people look at you like you are crazy for not wanting a baby shower, and people look at me like I am crazy for thinking to have one. I have a 2 year old and one on the way, same sex, but I need clothes, no gear, just clothes. I gave all my clothes away as my son grew out of them, not because I didn't want another child, but because I knew there were families in more need than I will ever be. I have a large family, but they all think a baby shower is only for baby number 1. I don't have any real advice on your situation, I just thought I would tell you about mine. Be happy your family and friends are more supportive.

I like the idea of a kid free girl's day. Ask your friends to help you celebrate while you get ready to deliver in style...Why not book a salon and everyone can get a manicure/pedicure? You could do simple finger food and dessert. Simply write, no gifts please, if you don't want gifts. Otherwise, I'd recommend a book party where you ask everyone to bring a children's book as a gift. Everyone thought we were crazy not to have a 2nd baby shower so we had one, too. Our theme was a home made pizza party and everyone made their own pizzas with the ingredients we set out and my husband cooked them. It was really fun.

Love the girls day! Try and find a local salon to pamper you ladies. Whatever they need, hairstyle, nails, facial, massage, tanning...they can use the money they would have on you on themselves and all pitch in to pay for your day of pampering.
Wording could be like...
Help me celebrate our bundle of joy
Soon I'll be busy with our second Boy
I don't need clothes or toys or pampers
We will be using diapers that go in the hamper
So lets go have a day of beauty
Find a new look, something that suits me!

Good Luck with you new little one! Hope all the ladies have lots of fun!!!!
Great, now I can't stop ryming!:}

I think you need to just think very hard about why you are having the party and word the invitation that way. If you are celebrating your pregnancy then it is not really a baby shower (because that would be "showering" you with gifts for the "baby") so you need to make it clear that it is not a shower by not having that word or anything like it on the invitation. Please understand that loved ones WILL want to buy you a gift, so either accept that fact or do like someone else suggested and put on the invitation that you will be accepting either monetary or gift donations for a local charity, like teen moms or a homeless shelter or something similar.

I know this sounds kooky, but when I was reading your post, I thought about an episode of friends when Phoebe was prenant as a serogate so they threw a shower and gave her gifts for things that would be for HER instead of for the baby. Even though you say you have clothes for this baby, you can still register at Babys R Us for stuff you and the new baby will need or want, like new baby washcloths, a new sling, a new diaper bag, a new boppy pillow, new baby blankets, new hoodie towel, etc. Seriously, I do think that there are more people in your life who will want to get you a little something than people who think it's tacky to throw a shower for a second child. Chances are that your friends and family WILL buy you something for the baby and you'll end up having a lot of stuff to return if you don't register for what you want. You can word it somehow that you want donations for a charity but mention that you are also registered at Babys R Us in small print by saying while they are there picking up a gift for the charity, gifts for you are not required but you registered for a few small things "just in case"! You know the people on your guest list better than I do-- the friends and family at the shower for my 3rd child really loved getting all of those little new things like the stuff I mentioned above, plus a new little outfit just for the fun of shopping for it!