Should My Son Be the Youngest or Oldest in His Class.

I will tell you that the one thing I wish I had figured out with my first son was to stop pushing him ahead of his time. I had him in classes for 1 to 2 year olds and at 2 1/2 the director recommended putting him in the preschool class (3 year olds). She felt he was ready for the older kids. I moved him and it was not good, he was just too young still and struggled with the proper behavior the other kids were expected to follow. In short, he was academically ok, just not socially. I pulled him from preschool until he was 3.

He is now 10 and I have found that he still excels beyond the other kids without being in the older class as a toddler. It is all about working with who he is and he will excel.

If I were you, I would see if his teacher thinks he should go to the younger class. She may be saying he needs to learn more but feels he will be fine. She will also be more in tune than the director with his needs. Then make a decision from there.

Good luck.

P.S. As far as bilingual, that too will come. In fact, you are probably more equipped to teach him than the school. I wouldn't worry about when he takes it outside the home.

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As an elementary teacher who has experience with this issue, I say oldest is better especially for boys. Plus if you keep him in this preschool, he will probably be with the same core group of kids all the way through. If he stays in the older class, eventually the other kids will go on to kinder and he will have to stay back because of his birthday. (if the cut off is Sept. 1 like it is in Texas.). Just a thought.

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Oldest!!! School will be so much more of a positive experience for him as one of the oldest boys in his class.
Just my two cents as a mom of a September born awesome 8 year old boy, and a previous Middle School teacher for 20+ years that saw the benefits first hand of what I preach,
R. :)

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Since he is doing fine, why move him? As far as bilingual goes this is a diverse world and he will learn as he goes along. And he is only two, grabbing things is very normal. I am getting weary of people trying to make robots out of tiny babies (not you, society in general). And sorry, I'm all grown up but I don't pay a lot of attention either. Still way too much of the world to explore.

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Move him down so that he can be in a class with kids his own age and at his own level of development. When he begins elementary school he will be the oldest in his class and that is so much better than being the youngest.

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I think it is ok to be the oldest or youngest depending on the situation. Is his behavior disruptive for others? Is he not socially ready to be with the older group? If the answer to either is yes, maybe you should move him to the younger class. Keep in mind that being social and being socially ready are two different things. Talk to the teacher and the director together and make the best choice for him (considering others too).

I am going to have my daughter tested in Feb to see if she can start K a year early because she is definately academically ready NOW but her birthday falls where she wouldn't start for two years. I plan to accept whatever their evaluation determines because although I believe she is ready, if socially she isn't ready then she would be a distraction for the other kids and that isn't fair either.

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E., this is what you do. Ask the director to meet with you and the teacher together. Tell them both what you said here about David being comfortable in the class now, from your perspective. Then, and this is the most important part, tell them both that you are still being told often by the teacher that he is grabbing toys and not paying attention, which makes you feel that the teacher feels that his young age is still a problem. You would like the director and the teacher to decide together whether or not to move him.

This takes the responsibility off of you. It also "tells" the director that the teacher is complaining to you about your son. You won't use that word, by the way, but that really is what is happening. You cannot do anything about him paying attention and grabbing toys - it's her job to handle. She SHOULD have been talking to the director about this. What is really happening is that she doesn't really want him in the class because he's more work for her and hopes you'll move him.

Go with the director's decision after she and the teacher talk privately. Tell them to let you know when they have had a chance to confer. Don't sit there while they talk to each other. The director needs a chance to converse with her without you listening.

Good luck,
D.

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THis is preschool. In my opinion he should be with kids his own age. Not those so much older than he. He will learn with others who still steal from each other and push and cry, while the older kids are learning to hold crayons.
Also boys tend to do better when they are older.
If he is light years ahead of his peers in Kindergarten or 1st grade and only plays with children who are older and is more mature at that point then you might think about the possibility of putting him ahead.

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If its daycare they accept kids I think at any age. Most preschools accept kids at age 3 yrs.

Once children start kindergarten I think in most cases its better for the child to be the oldest then the youngest.
My niece just started kindergarten and she will not be 5 yrs until November. I think she is really mature and ready. However I know older kids that are the youngest in their grades and they are the shortest kids in class and least mature.

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Does the teacher keep making comments because maybe SHE thinks he is too young for her class and doesn't really apprieate having to deal with a younger child? I only ask this because I used to work at a preschool/daycare and I know how teachers can be. She might be trying to drop little "hints" to you that he is just too young for that class, and when you are not around complaining about it as well. I might be totally wrong!! BUT, I have seen so many teachers like that. The advisor will let the parents do something that they normally don't allow for one reason or another, then the teacher is the one dealing with it so she gets resentful. If you do decide to leave him in that class, just try to make sure that the teacher does not have a bad attitude towards him since she will have to take a little extra time with him being so much younger. I really don't mean to make you worry about something else, but I just thought you might like to know that.

That is definitely a tough call. I have two children who both have August birthdays. It was definitely more of an issue for my son. You might want to find out what cut off your area uses for Kindergarden. My son was the youngest in his group. When it came time to start Kindergarden, I thought he was too advanced to do another year of pre-K. Despite the school, advising us to hold him back until the next year, he went into K, being the youngest. He had some struggles until the end of First grade when he finally caught up to the other kids. He is still the youngest in his class but he is doing fine. It sounds like your son is very adaptable. I would not base the entire decision on the fact that he has adapted to the older room. In two weeks or less, he will adapt to any change you make.

better oldest! but...depends on his personality, more mature for his class is better than inmature. It will be easyer for him and for you to be the oldest than the youngest.

Oldest. He will have the advantage in every way and in every grade. What you pay out for one more year of childcare will be more than made up for.

I feel like at such a young age even six months difference in age makes a big difference in how they act in social situations. It may be better for him to be around kids closer to his age, and being oldest won't hurt. The teacher would know better what she thinks is best than the director since she deals with him daily. Its a tough call since he is finally used to his current classroom.

My daughter is 2.5 and yesterday she was playing with a 3.5 yo and a 4 yo and she was constantly being left out with made her upset. She couldn't quite keep up with them and they didn't want to play with a "baby". I can only imagine this situation would be worse in a classroom full of older kids. I'm sure he could handle the material being taught, but maybe not the behavior that's expected.

I completely understand what you are going through! My son, who will be 7 this Wednesday, just misses the cut off as well. Just as you, when he was younger, I always felt he should not be held back because of a few days. I even looked all over for private schools that would take him regardless of the September 1 cut off, but only found a few. He is now if 1st grade and could have been in 2nd if I pushed the issue, but I had a lot of people giving me what I now know as good advise!

Boys mature a lot slower than girls. Boys also have more issues with acceptance at younger ages than do girls. Boys grow slower than girls. Boys are more active than girls and require more outside time to exhaust their energy in order to learn and focus. For ALL of these reasons and more, I decided to put him in a private school and not push the age issue. Because I did that, he is doing awesome in school! He is ahead of everyone (for the most part). He still gets a lot of outside time, which they slow down on in older grades, so he can focus and do his tasks and listen and not interupt (which is the most important thing in a class room).

Now, I chose to put him in a private school so that he would never be held back. So, as he excells, they keep pushing him. They don't just keep him doing the same tasks as everyone in the class - he will get extra activities. However, it isn't segregated. Meaning, it isn't a gifted program. Again, that was important to me - not to be segregated because he was excelling. Everyone is equal!

Lastly, I am also a September baby (9/11). I started school earlier than I was suppose to. And I too excelled in school.....that is until I was in 10th grade. That's when it all catches up to you! The age of maturity and changing of you thinking process. The pressure from school that only maturity can help you get through. I was a straight A student until 10th grade and then graduated with a C+ average in the end.

So, from experience as a mom and personal experience. Put him in the grade/class he should be in based in the 9/1 rule so he can excell. And, more importantly, find a school that will not hold him back from excelling!

Good Luck!

I have a son, now 12, who is also a Sept. baby. He was very motivated to learn and independent, so we enrolled him in preschool early just like you. The director of the school made an exception and placed him in a class with older kids (the students needed to be 2 before Sept. 1st his b-day is
Sept. 30th). Our experience was a little different b/c he adjusted very well from the beginning. He always said good-by to me at the door and walked into the class with happy. This was a private school and when he was going to be entering Kindergarten we moved him into a public school. The only problem with this is that public schools here won't make exceptions about age. My son had to attend preschool (at the public school) for one more year so he would be the correct age (5 before Sept. 1st) for kindergarten. As he got older I began to see that this was actually very good. For a boy to be a little older than the kids in his class is good for him. He will be more capable and therefore more confident in the classroom. It will be easier for him to be a leader especially if he is mature for his age like my son. Maybe you should leave him where he is for now and at the end of the year if you and the teacher think he would benefit from another year in that age group then let him. When he does move on he will have learned so much and gained so much confidence he will have a very strong foundation for his future years of learning. Hope this helps.

As an early childhood educator, I suggest to parents that if their children are born in the summer before school starts, to wait till the following year to put them in Kindergarten. If your child is Sept, he should DEFINATELY be waiting till the next year. This trickles down to the pre-school years as well so obviously that pre-school does not know too much about child development if they were willing to put him with children who are up to 12 months older then he. Socially, behaviorally, cognitiviely, developmentally, physically, he is is not ready for that class. If you want him to be with older children but work at his own level, try a true Montessori school. Even if summer babies do well in the lower grades and situations, it almost always catches up to them by middle or high school. MY vote has always been, put your child in a situation where they will succeed and that would mean they are one of the oldest.

Honestly, not only do you have to think of your child but all the other children in that class also. If he is disrupting the teacher and the other children and can't sit still while she is having classtime or circle time than it seem sto me that he isn't ready for that class. I understand wanting to have him in a class where the children are older (my son just turned 4 and just about everyone else already is 5) where hopefully it will allow them to mature faster, but it doesn't work that way all the time. It could result in the teacher getting frustrated, the other kids getting frustrated because of his taking away toys, and then he might not want to go to school. There is a big maturity difference in just a few months at this age.

Where do you feel he fits in? Can you sit in each class and see for yourself? I'm not sure what I would have done with my daughter at that age. You really hate for everyone to be much more advanced than your son, but at the same time, he isn't THAT much younger than the others. My son won't be two until October 15th, but I have him in the two year old class because I felt like the one year old class might be a little young for. He also has the advantage of having an older sister, so has has caught on to things pretty quickly. In the beginning I was concerned that I made a mistake and have asked his teachers on a few occasions if he is doing okay and they reassure me that he is where he is supposed to be.

So, really it is up to you. I suggest sitting in each class if you can and see what you feel is best. If you do move him into the younger class then he can always start in the bilingual class next year.

Good luck!

This is definately a child by child decison. I personally like them to be more mature. I put my daughter in a program for younger kids starting school and not mature enough to handle it, but by the school age had to start. She was not "young" as they had it set up for, by any means, but she was younger in maturity and I put her in this class. She then had to do a second year as an official kindergartener. This has worked great for her. But again, it depends on the child, and what they are ready for. As the mom, you would know this best about your child. I hope this helps, good luck.