Should I Worry My Mother with Swollen Lymph Node News?

Updated on March 23, 2012
H.L. asks from Lake Oswego, OR
11 answers

I had a doctor's appointment today and found out that I have a swollen lymph node in my neck that the doctor is concerned about. It can be a sign of cancer apparently. I'm sure it's just a cold I'm fighting off, but I have no cold symptoms other than feeling a little tired. With young kids in the house, I am exposed to lots of germs of course, so maybe they are trying to get me and I don't even know it!

I'm feeling a little worried and would love to get support from my mom, but I don't want to worry her. What would you do? It will be weeks before I get blood results back and I don't know if I should keep this to myself or not. My husband knows and is very supportive and maybe I'll be fine after the initial shock today, but I really want my momma. I don't even want to ask my husband what he thinks I should do, because I don't want it to be a big deal.

Thanks for any advice you might have and thanks for being there for me during a stressful night.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the different perspectives. I agree that since they are running this test next week with some other "fasting" blood work tests, it must not be that much of a concern for the doctor. As you mentioned, she would have taken immediate action with the tests if it was. She's probably just wanting to be on the safe side. Sounds like I might get the results back after the test earlier than I thought after the blood draw. That's good news.

I DID search the internet after I saw her look of concern. That was my first mistake. It listed frightening things about painless lymph nodes in the neck as one of the symptoms of cancer. I also lost 10 lbs according to their notes, since August, which is another red flag. I think it was a scale issue though, since I feel like I have gained weight and not lost. lol. In other words, I should have stayed off the internet. I probably fighting off something and I appreciate your kind words and support when I needed it. I'll call mom today to let her know I'll need a little of her support as well. You are right that I would want to know if one of my kids was going through a tough time.

More Answers

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E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

My husband had a swollen lymph node the size of a golf ball on the back of his neck - it was a tiny lump, then suddenly became huge. It turned out he was reacting to the bites of those little black flies that come out around this time of the year. (he was building a deck on our house at the time)

I hope this helps - things other than cancer can cause swollen lymph nodes.

However, I know how scary it can be to wait for test results. If you want your mamma, call your mamma. She probably knows exactly what to say to you.

After I found out my test results were negative for cancer, a friend of mine was dumbfounded that I hadn't mentioned it while I was awaiting such news. I was giving a "friendly" lecture about what friends are for - and in this case, isn't this what family (especially mammas!) are for?

Go call you mom!

(and let us know when you hear your good news)

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia!

I have a swollen lymph node as well. I've had an MRI, Ultra Sound as well as TRYING to get a biopsy. All show nothing. The biopsy couldn't be done because the U/S just showed a swollen lymph node. If it will be weeks before you get the blood tests back - your doctor has misinformed you. It took 2 days for my results.

You are worrying yourself. You need to stop. You don't want it to be a big deal then don't make it a big deal. Simple as that. Tell your mom about it. Why hide it from her?

Tired? well - that could be a myriad of things - iron anemia - especially since you are fighting off a cold. It could be you are snoring at night and have allergies - which causes one to not get a "restful" nights sleep. Allergies cause swollen glands as well giving off the symptoms of a cold as well.

I would advise you NOT to go online and look up "swollen lymph node" - and try to self-diagnose. You will work yourself up to a tizzy. Just let it be. You should have your results back in less than a week. Call your doctor to verify.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Swollen lymph nodes can be scary, but they aren't all that uncommon.

I got a lump in my armpit and my doctor assured me it was nothing, but had me do some blood work and a mammogram just to be on the safe side.
It turned out that infection from an absessed tooth had settled into the lymph nodes under my arm and as soon as I got a root canal, it went away.
It's never happened again.

Also, when my daughter's wisdom teeth were coming in, the lymph glands in her neck got swollen on both sides. It was very painful.
Nothing serious. Just some teeth needing to be extracted.

Please try to not work yourself up over this. Lymph nodes get swollen all the time. If your doctor was seriously concerned, I wouldn't think he would wait for weeks for blood work to come back. They can tell pretty quickly if you have some type of infection or your blood levels are outside of normal limits.

Take a nice bath. Drink some warm tea. Relax.
Talk to your mom if that will make you feel better.

I'm not a doctor, but I've worked in the medical field for many years and I've had numerous experiences myself.
A swollen lymph node is not at all necessarily indicative of cancer.

Best wishes to you.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Lab tests should not take "weeks" to get results, maybe a few days at most, unless some kind of very unusual testing.
Lymph node swelling is nothing to take lightly, though very often are benign. If your Dr. is concerned, good for him. Those that 'blow them off as nothing' can turn into something more serious. Have heard the horror stories of lymph node swelling lasting for months and no one did a biopsy, and it turned out to be cancer.
If your mother and you are close, and level headed, sure, I would tell her. My thought would be, if it turns out to be something and she found out after the fact, she might be upset that you held back.
If it was my 'child', I would want to know if they were dealing with something like that.

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

When your doctor checks your neck and says, "Oh you have swollen glands" they're checking your lymph nodes. That can mean anything from a simple cold or something even more mild, or yes something more serious. But a swollen lymph node means it's doing its job. It's fighting an illness. It's nothing to be excessively worried or shocked about. It's good that your doctor took a blood test to rule anything serious out, and I agree with a previous poster who said that it shouldn't take weeks. I would clarify with your doctor why that's the case and what she's looking for, but also what she thinks is most likely if the test is negative.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Tell her for support but try not to worry. I had one removed and it was benign (armpit).

2 moms found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

OK from the opposite perspective ... MIL NEVER calls when there's any possible thing wrong. Wouldn't have called for her breast cancer test if a friend hadn't insisted. Has had MANY surgeries without telling the kids. She's 70+ years old and her kids worry, but she thinks she's so independent that she doesn't need help. I think she's just martyring herself. Guess the point here is that you need to call your mom and let her know. How would you feel if the shoe was on the opposite foot?

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

while it might be 'bad news', it's likely just your lymph nodes doing their job and clearing your body of some sort of infection.
of course you should tell your mom. you'd want your kids to, right? you don't have to freak her (or yourself) out, but what's more right than going to your mom for some love when you need it?
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Portland on

Thank you for all the different perspectives. I agree that since they are running this test next week with some other "fasting" blood work tests, it must not be that much of a concern for the doctor. As you mentioned, she would have taken immediate action with the tests if it was. She's probably just wanting to be on the safe side. Sounds like I might get the results back after the test earlier than I thought after the blood draw. That's good news.

I DID search the internet after I saw her look of concern. That was my first mistake. It listed frightening things about painless lymph nodes in the neck as one of the symptoms of cancer. I also lost 10 lbs according to their notes, since August, which is another red flag. I think it was a scale issue though, since I feel like I have gained weight and not lost. lol. In other words, I should have stayed off the internet. I probably fighting off something and I appreciate your kind words and support when I needed it. I'll call mom today to let her know I'll need a little of her support as well. You are right that I would want to know if one of my kids was going through a tough time.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Definitely tell her...and then rejoice together when it is nothing!

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

Definitely tell her! That's what mommas are for! I know my mom would be furious with me if I kept something like that from her, and, like you, I would want her hugs and support and prayers!

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