32 answers

Should I Work with Kids?

I have two kids of my own.. yesterday a friend who owns a daycare, offerred me a job at her daycare.. and my kids get to go for free.. I feel it would be good for my 18 month old to have that..other kids his age to play with.. my youngest is only 4 months so he wouldn't know the difference yet. Im not sure whether to take it or not. I dont want to deprive my kids of time with me..and also dont want to be soo tired when I get home that I dont spend time with my husband..This would be a second job.. My current job I only have to work one day a week and I typically work on Saturdays..This second job is M-F..so I would be working 6 days a week..So I would be tired..Not to mention I would have to drive 45 minutes to get to this daycare.. so it's an hour and a half of commute time..I would leave myhouse at 615 am and not get home until around 7ish.. This job would help money wise, but is it worth it?? I need help! Sorry this is so long but it's weighing so heavy on me. I can't decide, Im stuck in the middle cuz it would def be good for my kids, but I would be tired out. I dont want to be so tired that when I am at home with just my two kids that I dont want to spend time with them. Right now with the one job I have, Im able to spend time wth my oldest son by playing, reading and teaching him alot of stuff! HELP please!!

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So What Happened?™

After talking to the owner and my husband. I decided to do part time. It will benefit our kids, I'll make a little extra cash and it wont kill me! So I will be working two days a week from 715 to 630.. not too bad! I also joined a mother's group called Athens Mommies! It will allow the interaction to broaden for my kids! Thanks to all you mothers out there who took the time to drop some advice for me! I appreciate it more than you know!It defiantely helped me make the right decision for my family!

Featured Answers

Have you considered doing a stay at home business? Let me know if you are at all interested in hearing about a successful one for me.

Jen

D., it sounds like to me that this is something that would not make you happy. You are already dreading it and you have not even decided if you are going to take the job. If you can stay home, do it. I wish I could have stayed home with my daughter when she was a baby. Do what makes you happy!

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Sounds to me like you answered your own question. Working with kids is a hard job, you will be tired at the end of the day. You stated above only two two times a positive note about taking this job and seven reasons not too.

Well, what do you need more at this time? Money or time with kids. If you're like me and many parents in this tough economy, you may really need the money. When I was staying at home with the baby, I was pretty tired then as well, taking care of the baby, waking up with him, never having a moment to myself, not having enough time to cook, clean, or even shower. Plus, I had trouble with hubby feeling that he didn't have to help out since he brought home the bacon. Now, that I'm working also, hubby is actually helping out and it makes running the household a lot easier with us working as a team. Is your hubby helping? That may keep you from getting too run down. I still spend a good hour in the morning and 1-2 hours in the evening playing with and doing activities with the baby before bed. But I also work from 9-4 and get up at 6 or 7 am. Can you work at the daycare part-time or take the morning shift and leave early?

Hope you find a solution! Good luck!

Would your friend be open to you working 3 days a weeks insead of 5? I think part-time work might be better considering all you mentioned.

Unless you desperately need the money, don't take it. It will be damaging to your marriage and time with your own children. Maybe you could substitute for her which would not require you being there except when someone was out. Keep in mind your own children will be exposed to everything in the daycare situation. V.

I think you should say no to this opportunity. Your children are so little! Do you really want to haul them off to work every day? What happens when they are sick? Or when they need to sleep a little later in the morning? How will you make dinner? If you are getting take out food because you are too tired to cook, are you still making money?

I'm sure you can find a MOMS Club for playdates so they can make some little friends. They'd be so much more comfortable at home with you. Maybe a year from now it would be different and your friend may have an opening for you at that time. Right now I would say it's more beneficial for you to be at home. Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

I can tell you that I currently work a consistant one day a week that i get home at 7:30ish and then have funny hours (one or two part time days/some over night nights). It is very tiring and can wear on your resolve a bit. I would say that the job I do though, is way less consuming than working at a daycare. I know several women who do it -- none which have to go home to a family at the end of the day. Not meaning to sound discouraging, but unless you really have to, working full time on top of being a mommy is very hard.
Also, if your located near by, i would easily talk to you about part time sitting for my 2 and 3 yr old for extra cash. And if not me, you should consider it for other part time mothers that need help. There are sites you can join such as sitters.com or care.com that allow you to keep your kids home in their own enviorment but allow you to make more money.

tyrone, ga

I would stay home. Illness, bad habits learned from other kids, etc., isn't 'good' in my opinion. What you meant to say that this would be a 3rd job. Your first job is your responsibility at home with your kids which is a job and a half. I would love those darling little ones at home! :0)

Hi D.,
6 days a week, two jobs, plus a full time job at home raising two little children is very tough. I assume you are married, and I would suggest that you and your husband work out an arrangement that is better for both you and the kids. Your kids are at the prime time to need your attention (and I don't mean diapering and feeding, i mean a mom that notices). See if your husband can spend more time at home with them/ you lose one of the jobs/he gains a job - something.
Just my humble opinion. J.

Dear D.:
It's really up to you but I understand you wanting other's advice. You said it would help out money-wise but also remember that going back and forth is going to cost you gas money, wear and tear on your vehicle and your kids most likely as well as yourself may get sick very often until your immunities build up possibly which in the end that cost doctor co-pays, Rx co-pays so considering all these "extra" expenses would the money really be worth it???? Just something I wanted to point out in case you didn't think about that part :-) Good luck and if you wanted your 18 month old some interaction with other kids you could always join up with a church that has Mommy day out or even MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers-they don't have to be "pre-school age to go).

if this is something you really want to do, then go for it. However, with your baby only being 4 months old, you may want to wait a little while if you can afford to wait to work. There are so many "firsts" to enjoy with a baby and all of that bonding time to consider. When children are over the age of 2, they enjoy interaction with other children. Also remember you will be exposing your kids to germs. Some say this boosts the immune system sooner and some say other. What will happen with this job if one of your kids get sick and then the other one is sick? Basically weigh all of your options and follow your heart. You will make the choice that is bast for you and your family. 6:15am-7pm is a long day for an adult not to mention your kids. Id is possible to work there part time?

Hi there, D.: I think there are more negatives than positives so I don't think you should take the day-care job. I mean to have to get up and leave with 2 small children and drive 45 minutes and then have such a long day I think you said you'd be getting home around 7 p.m, it doesn't seem worth it at all. I think one of the other moms suggested finding a day care nearer your home is one option. Wish you all the best of luck.

I think you've gotten some great advice and I echo most of it. I think that unless you desperately need the money your time is better spent with your children.

I worked at a daycare center for a few years and there was always some illness going around. You want your kids to have a good immune system but not exposed to every bug out there.

Have you considered doing a stay at home business? Let me know if you are at all interested in hearing about a successful one for me.

Jen

Please think about all the consequences of taking this 2nd job. What does your husband think? You would be exhausted every night and your home life would suffer. Ask your friend if you could help a few days each week or work as a substitute if she has workers call out. That way, you'll compromise the job situation and let your friend know that you're offering help without sacrificing your family's lifestyle. Yes, the money would be good but at what "cost."
Seriously think about your options. Good luck.

Personally, I wouldn't work those long hours unless I had to for rent, food, etc. It doesn't have to be all or nothing - I too believe that daycare provides many wonderful learning experiences for our little ones. Perhaps you could find another less time consuming job during the week?

Maybe start an in-home childcare? Bright from the Start just got a grant to help new people qualify for State Licensing. Check your area for typical cost per week for child and get registered? You could then stay home with your 2, and get paid for 4, and keep your saturday job if you wanted as well:) I've used in-home childcare now for 6 years and have loved every minute versus placing them into a Center until 4 yrs old.

Personally, I believe that having a home-basd business is your best option. You control your schedule and if you treat it like a real business, it will pay like one! I started mine when I was single, working full-time and a full-time graduate student, but then I was able to quit my job. Then, I become a Sales Director and got married. Now, I have a 17 month-old daughter and am completely thankful that I stepped out of working for other people 6 years ago.

Check out my wesbite: www.marykay.com/evance

D., it sounds like to me that this is something that would not make you happy. You are already dreading it and you have not even decided if you are going to take the job. If you can stay home, do it. I wish I could have stayed home with my daughter when she was a baby. Do what makes you happy!

I guess that depends how badly you need the money. If you don't HAVE to work that job, then i wouldn't. It's too much to juggle. If we can spend these first few years with our little ones financially, why not? You never get that time back. I work 2 days a week and it seems like a good balance. Getting a little hectic trying to go to doctors appts and trying to get involved in a mom's group and i only have one little one. 6 days a week and 1.5 hr commute every day....that's not worth it....again unless you really need the money. Just my opinion. Good Luck! : )

In my opinion D. you have been offered a chance of a lifetime. It sounds like you want to do the right thing for your children by enriching their lives by being around other children and adults(of course), and make some money so that you can afford to do more extra activities and help support the family. I have two children in daycare (3 1/2 and 11 months) and I would not change a thing. The experiences they have learned in that setting are things I could not have tought them myself. In addition, many of the teachers there have or have had their children at the same school with them and they have loved it.

Nobody can make this decision but you. You could always try it for a while. If you don't feel that it is working out then you could resign. My bet is that you would like it. Your body will get used to the new schdule and you will not be too tired for your children. All of us full time working Moms have gotten used to it and you can to.

Best of luck!

if you don't needeed the money/job--dont take it. If you can survive with your hus. job and you working one day a week-you have a sweet deal, you rare more fortunate than many and you should stay home with your kids so you can pour your energy into them. You have plenty of time to go back to work when they get older.

D.,
Reading your post I get the feeling that you really don't want the daycare job. Do you really need the money that bad? How about looking into a daycare job closer to home and part time hours? Just a thought. Your kids are at a precious age that won't last long. They need mommy not to be stressed out and tired! Pray about it. That's what I do for every decision. God is faithful to guide me and I end up with peace about the decision.

I would just not do this to myself if I was you.
Think about how tired you would be, and what you are giving up, the chance to be HOME with your kids and them to have strong bonds with you and learn from YOU.
Think about the sicknesses they will be exposed to and picking up and bringing home over and over.
Surely you can do something if you really need to without commmitting to such a demanding job. For probably very little money. YOu get the dubious bonus of having your kids have to go to day care too, not a positive in my eyes . . . think hard!
there's some poor woman with no other choices who would love to have a job and have her child with her. I know one!
S.

Hi D., it sounds like you have really already made up your mind, you just need someone to confirm it to you. Being Mom is a full time job and I don't know how anyone does it all. I truly admire the moms who stay home and I really respect those that work outside the home. I don't think either gets the credit they are due. Sit down, make a list of why you should take the job - give each reason a value ( how you truly feel ) and then make a list of why you shouldn't take the job - give each reason a value ( how you truly feel) and talk to your husband. He is your best friend in this....ask yourself, if money were not an issue would it be a good idea? Will this impact my family more in a positive or negative way? and trust your gut feelings...it sounds like your children already have a great life with you and the time you can give them now and it sounds like you want to stay home with them. If it were me, I would stay home and occasionally take the children to daycare for playdays for socialization.
Thanks Pam

Hi there D.! I have thought about this a lot as I have very close friends who are SAHM but also have started their own business and now have income earning jobs, mommy friends who work full-time and SAHM who aren't earning income. I am of the latter staying at home and not working an added job. The Lord has lead my husband and I in this direction for the reasons you mentioned...we want me to have energy, love and joy for the children and for hubby and we see that it would be detrimental for our whole family for me to have added responsibility outside the home or even working from home. You see even working from home you can be very much gone...there in body and not at all in mind or spirit. Here is a quote from a somewhat related post taken from www.passionatehomemaking.com May 3, 2009 :

“If there is one thing I could encourage every mommy blogger or work-at-home mom out there to remember, it is this: anyone can be a pretty good blogger or pretty good business owner, but there is only person who is mommy to your children and wife to your husband. Don’t let all the good things out there take precedence over the best things. You only have one life to live–make it count!”

I personally think more times than not taking on another job is taking the BEST from your family and giving it to someone else. You are his only wife and their only mommy. If you do not HAVE to earn extra income why spread yourself so thin? You sound like you already know this WILL happen. Give the most important people in your life your BEST energy, love and time. Don't wear yourself out when you don't have to. In ten years you won't regret not having the extra money but you would regret not loving your family like you could have if you would have only neglected the temptation for money, outside approval/achievement etc. (I have had to pray that the Lord would help me not to covet or be tempted by what other income earning mom's may have and he has and has shown me that the money is not worth the costs. And remember it may take time to see the costs but believe me it will cost you and those you love more than you may imagine.)
You only have these kids for a short time and you want to have an excellent marriage that will last! Don't give the best part of you to someone else's kids that is their parents job.
May the Lord bless you and your husband D. and unify you both in this decision. God bless you!!!
K.

Hi D.,

I am in a very similar situation myself. There are many factors to consider, one of being the daycare itself. Which one are you talking about? The reason I ask is because my decision would be largely affected by whether or not I would want my kids at that particular daycare. I would be interested to know which one it is. Also, take into consideration the pay. They are usually hourly, so figure out if it would be worth your time.

DO NOT DO IT!!!! You will be so tired and ill with your own kids when you get home. if you can work part time try it but do not take these hours and that drive with hids that small. I have been there and done that and it did not work. showed up to work at 7 am left at 6 pm and hated it!!!!

Keep and do both jobs even if temporarily. Try it for the school year and see what you think. It may be good for all of you - the extra money maybe to get some things paid off, and good for your little guys to play with others. They will learn a lot at daycare so don't stress over what you need to teach them - let them learn by doing at daycare. Your part of the teaching happens even when youdon't realize it

It sure sounds like to much of a sacrifice to me. Only you know your financial situation but unless I absolutely had to I would not sacrifice my children for this. They will be losing to much of you. Sure your 18 month old needs to be around other children but this is too much of a sacrifice to me. I guess your decision comes down to do you want them to have the influence of other children or do you want them to have your love and care. Maybe it would be better to have a play date once a week or some other way to be around other children but if this was me making the decision it would just be too much. They are only babies once and they grow up so fast. Once that time is lost there is no getting it back. They need their mommy more than they need other children. I have a 5 and 6 yr old and let me tell you the time has gone by so fast. They are now entering school and I was able to be home with them up until this time and I would not trade those days for anything in the world. The days have gone by way too fast. This is just my opinion. Absolutely if I didn't have to because of finances I would not do this.

D.,

This is a choice only YOU can make. I would just suggest that you really think about what your priorities are. If you're financially ok, then what's more important, time with your children or more money? Sometimes with such a big decision, it really helps me to sit down and make a pro/con list. Then you have everything in front of you and can generally see if your pro list or con list is longer or if one thing really sticks out as the most important. Good luck with this difficult decision.

You have alot to consider.1st it is yourself,2nd your husband ,and3rd your kids.If you feel that you is going to be tired what about working parttime and not fulltime.That way you can still do both.I love kids I have 4 of my own and two stepkids.

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