Should I Let One Child Go to the Other Childs Friends Slumber Party?

I had that situation with my first family...son & daughter were 18 mos. apart. They had the same friends, brothers & sisters but when my son was invited & the daughter wasn't we did something special with her. They were both very close & best friends as they grew older. She passed at 19 & he has struggled since. Raising a second family two girls and eventhough the age is 6 yrs. between they are very close but seperattion is necessary when it comes to friends. The youngest is a social butterfly while the oldest is very quiet. I treat them as individuals when it comes to parties,etc. I'm the youngest & remember feeling "left behind" but always do something special with the one who wasn't invited.Good luck!

They are so close in age I can not see what would be the problem and it may help her learn how to come out of her shell a little. As she gets a little older she will open up and when the next party comes along you might want to subjest she stays home with you and the 2 of you do something special. You and her can have your own slumber party and have all kinds of fun together at home but do not make the other one feel left out. Maybe ask her to invite a couple of kids over to the house. She will find a couple of friends to invite to the house I am sure...

Lilly

Six years of age is too young to be going to sleepovers(.) out side of family without parents...just call me paranoid,Grandma of two..2yrs and 3yrs.

I think children, especially girls, should not be made to share friends. Given the difference in age, and with girls it really does matter, I would not solicit additional invites and ask for the either girl to be included on activities as a tag along. I was a 2.5 years younger than my sister and used to tag along. In hindsight, even though I was shy, I realize that I should have left my sister to her own social life. If you want the older girl to be more outgoing, find some activities for her to join with her own peers. You could try Girl Scouts, sports, school activities or church groups.

I have three boys and my rule of thumb is the child or children who are invited can go. The other's I do something special with instead. We go to McDonalds and/or rent a movie that night.

Hello. I would call the inviter's parents and confirm the second invitation. If they are all right with it go from there.

Another option would be to have the eight year old invite one or two girls over for a sleepover at your home, the same evening.

S.

I think it rests on the head of the parent doing the inviting. The younger child was invited, by now the older one should know that just becasue one gets invited somewhere does not mean that they will. I'd say leave it with the younger going and do something special with the older one--dinner out rent a movie something fun like that. I'd hate for the older one to go be feel left out because she is not reallt friends with the birthday child, it could be more akward for her to go then for her to just stay home.

My two daughters ages are 7 and 8 and I can completely understand what you are talking about. I have kept the girls friends seperate as much as possible. There have been times when one girls is invited to her friends for a sleepover or over to play. So the other one does not feel left out I either play something special for us to do or arrange for her to have a friend come over. It was hard at first to try and get them to understand that they each have their own friends to play with, but I think planning something special for the other one has helped. I have had a situation when both have planned to have a friend sleepover and one canceled at the last minute. When that happened I directed the girls to play something that would include everyone so no one felt left out.

With the girls being so close in age (14 months apart) I know they are going to have friends that they both play with, but have encouraged some activities for them to have with just their friend, if that makes sense. I did not want them to start out doing everything with each other friends, because once they start getting older and are not invited to their sister's friends house I did not want hurt feelings and feeling of rejection.
The 7 year old is the social butterfly and the 8 year old is the shy one, and I was a only child so my mom did not have these issues do deal with either so I can relate in so many ways to your situation.
I hope this helps.

My children are 13 months apart also in 1st and 2nd grade they share friends and have seperate friends. SInce the 8 year old has already been invited it does not matter how the invite came along you need to let both go. I would first have a private talk with the six year old and tell her when she gets invited somewhere she cannot ask if she can bring her sister along, let her know how nice it was to consider her sister and her sisters feelings but from now on she cannot do that. Then I would speak to the parents of the host and ask if they are comfortable having her along for the night, if they do not feel comfortable then host the gathering at your house so all can participate. In order to help the 8 year old find friends of her own, look into girls scouts or some other group activity where she can meet friends in her class or start having playdates. I hope this helps

Roni, I would check first if the girl's mom is ok with having an extra person. She may have told her daughter to choose 4 friends, becaues 5 is all she's really comfortable with for the night. If she doesn't have a problem with it though, and your older grand-daughter is friends with the girls there, then by all means let her go! I'm sure whenever either girl has friends over to your house, they both play with the guests, they are close enough in age/grade that they are always going to share a lot of friends, which is a fabulous thing. If the mom doesn't sound super comfortable with having an extra child there, then I'd suggest taking your older grand-daughter to a movie, or letting her invite a friend over to spend the night, or something a little special that night, because she's probably going to be missing having her sister to play with. Treating them fairly doesn't mean it will always be treating them the same, and although there will be thousands of opportunities for both of them to do things together, there will also be a lot of times that they do things with their friends without their sister along.

Good luck!!

I don't think there is any thing wrong with her sister going. My daughter is 8 and she a sleep over for her birthday and one of her class mates ask if her sister could come and I said sure. I believe it made the little girl feel a little safer. it was her first sleep over. My sister and I are 14 months a part and to this day we are so close we have a friendship and love each other very much. We have a lot of the same friends in school plus we had our own. I say if it is ok with the parents that are having the sleep over Yea! let her go. Nothing wrong with it. Keep them close I know from my own experience my sister and I have always been there for each other. God Bless

Hey Roni,

I have the same situation here. I have 2 girls that are 23 months apart. The younger one is by far the social butterfly. Even though they are only 4 and 6, I am sure this same problem will come up with us. I have already been thinking it out. This is what I plan to do. I will let the younger one go to the sleepover and then have a "special" night out with older one. One that will be just her's and mine. If you could get a sitter for the youngest, maybe you could do that. I was thinking maybe a movie or shopping and dinner. Good luck on what you decide to do.

If it's okay with the other mom, and if your 8 year old granddaughter shows interest in going, then it shouldn't be a problem. My mom is raising my sisters daughters (now ages 13 and 12--they are only 11 months apart). They will always have friends in common...and they do have some friends of their own. They will grow to have differences, but for now it's okay. :o) My sister and I are 21 months apart and we had the same issues. We turned out fine (way different, but fine).

I dont think anything is wrong with letting the 8 year old go with the 6year old. especially if she really wants to go. Just becuase she is shy and does not easily make friends i dont think she should be punished per say and not allowd to go..... after all she was invited too... I have a 6year old and she and my 9year old niece still play the same games so the age diffrence is not much of a problem. I think the 8 year old would have a GREAT time

Hi, I have boys so I can't say for sure just going by being a girl once(long time ago) myself but in my view I think that the 6 year old has to be able to have her own friends. I would simply make a special day with your 8year old to make her feel special in her own way. I think that kids especially girls and they start at an early age can be very cruel and I think you are setting her the 8 year old up to be picked on. Girls tend to always have one that they do that to. It is sad, but if she doesn't make friends easly and you throw her into that she it isn't going to help her make friends just make feel less self confident about herself. Take her to the mall or to a movie just you and her. I admire you for taking care of them, I think that what she needs most is to have some only her time this will let her know that she is loved and will help her with self esteme.