Should I Let It Go or Say Something?

Sounds like an awesome lunch for a teenager to me.

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That's more than I eat for lunch and I'm nursing!! I think you're looking for a problem where there is none. Keep a gentle eye on her weight and diet, but don't make a big issue out of it unless/until you notice her losing weight, skipping meals, or drastically reducing what she eats. Trust your daughter and keep communication WIDE open.

If you really feel like you need to address it though, approach it from nutrition not weight. Don't talk about calories, but about vitamins and minerals and other nutrients. Tell her what protein, carbs and fats DO for her body and why she needs them all. Give her plenty of vegetarian sources of protein and keep your fridge/pantry stocked with healthy and nutrient-rich options for her.

She's 13 and needs to have a healthy relationship with food. Teach her that, but don't micromanage every bite of food. Good luck :o)

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That seems like plenty of food to me and it was healthy. I think that you could still talk to her about her decision and why she made it, but that seems to me to be a substantial lunch......she has protein from the nuts in the trail mix, veggies, a fat in the dip for the veggies (most likely), 2 fruits, and a cliff bar which I am assuming is some sort of healthy granola type bar?, which would be a grain, seems to me she hit all the food groups except dairy and would be plenty of food!!

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Her lunch would have more than filled me up, and I'm a meat eater. Just sayin...

I wanted to add that sometimes eating the 'right' foods is a lot more filling than 'wrong' foods. As long as she is eating a healthy vegetarian meal, then you probably will notice her eating a lot less, as she is filling up faster. Keep that in mind as you are monitoring her eating habits.

I grew up in a VERY healthy household. On occasion I would buy lunch instead of take it in high school. Many times, I would just grab a fries from the cafe, or a bag of Doritos and little can of bean dip from the school store. I survived and am now a very health conscious adult.

The funny thing is that many of my dinners were just fruit and veggie plate, all raw. I sometimes just craved bad things, but always had the 'good stuff' as part of my regular diet.

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I wanted to share from maybe her perspective. (I am 21, but I became a vegetarian at 13) I think it's a great choice for her, in fact I'm still a vegetarian! And, like her, I grew up in a meat eating family. Good for you for helping her buying her magazines/books, ect!! One thing you can do is maybe a few nights of the week, make something good and vegetarian for dinner for the whole family! Show her how great high-protein meat substitutes can be delicious! Make Spaghetti with tofu crumbles in the sauce! Or meatless burgers! (MorningStar is a GREAT brand, they make some called "grillers") Show her you support her choice AND encourage healthy eating! Whatever you do....PLEASE DON'T call it a "FAD" and dismiss it!!!!!! People did that to me when I made my decision to be meatfree, It was probably the most disrespectful thing people could say about it. It drove me nuts.
Also, I think her lunch wasn't bad. Good fiber, healthy fruits. I would think you are lucky, most teens don't eat HALF that well!! Just encourage the proteins, she'll be fine! If you really strongly feel she is loosing weight and it's unhealthy, talk to her....BUT do it in a respectful way, always be accepting of her independence! Hope that helps!

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She does not have an eating disorder. She wouldn't be eating the food she chose, if she did. That's actually a very healthy and well balanced lunch. She is getting fiber (apples have a lot of fiber), carbohydrates, vegetables, protein, and fruit. That's a very substantial lunch. I think it would be made even better, to add cheese to that. I think you are overreacting and I don't blame her, for feeling the way she does about the conversation. She is making VERY good food choices and you should be thrilled about that!!

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I honestly thought you was going to say that you thought that she was taking too much. An apple and a banana is actually rather filling. Adding the veggies, dip, and a cliff bar is even quite a bit more. A cliff bar is designed to be a small meal or a decent snack in some situations. Dip usually isn't very low calorie. It sounds to me like she really is eating healthy for her. My 2nd daughter decided to be a vegetarian. I don't like it much. But she's in her 20's and has done it for over a year. It's her choice not mine.

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I dont think she has an eating disorder or anything I do think that maybe the two of you should do some research on the vegetarian diet. I have a lot of family members who are vegetarians and even Vegans as long as they make sure they get proper nutrition they seem to be just fine. Just say your sorry about this mornings issue and admit you are not aware of a lot of vegetarian choices and between the two of you try to work it out.

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The lunch she made for herself is actually better than many kids her age and other teens... but I see what you mean. Maybe you should make an appointment thru her pediatrician for a Nutritionist - and have her talk to your daughter about becoming a vegetarian and what caloric intake and levels of certain foods she must consume in a day.

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From reading these answers it seem like a lot of people assume she may have an eating disorder. That seems silly as the lunch you described is well balance and healthy. She's got several smaller snacks to eat throughout the day which provice, vitamins, fiber and protein. That's the way we are all supposed to eat for maximum health. As for the people who claim being a vegetarian is unhealthy they simply do not know what they're talking about. Look around, the cheap animal products most people consume daily are killing them, no question about it. Honestly if you look into what's in animal products and meat you'd find out they are not only unhealthy but contributing to many of the diseases that plague Americans. Get her a good veg nutrition book, make a few meatfree dinners each week and support her in making such a smart and mature choice!

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I am vegetarian... and I actually think her choices for lunch was really good... and a lot of food/calories if you ask me! Have you ever checked out how much protein is in a Cliff bar?? And nuts, fruits and veggies. Honestly, it's the type of stuff i would eat and would send my kid (who is vegetarian) to school with. Mind you, I do not have an eating disorder. I eat all day long (a grazer)... we NEVER eat big meals!

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From the Calorie Calculator at www.caloriecount.com

1 carrot = 30 calories
1 celery = 9 calories
1 serving (38 g) T. Marzetti Low Fat Ranch Veggie Dip = 30 calories
1 medium apple = 65 calories
1 medium banana = 110 calories
1 Cliff Bar (chocolate chip) = 250 calories
1 serving of trail mix (3Tbsp) = 130 calories

Grand Total = 624 calories (if she eats everything, you don't know, you're not there. Today it's apples, tommorrow it's nothing)

According to nutrition expert Mary Hartley, RD a girl between the ages of 11 and 14 needs 2220 calories a day. This average does not take into consideration size, body composition, and physical activity on a daily basis, which is why it is important that you and your daughter consult a nutritionist to be sure she is being truly healthy. For more, see: http://caloriecount.about.com/average-calorie-needs-old-f...

The calorie count I've provided is only a rough estimate, but when you take into consideration the requirements for a child her age, short of her catching up on calorie needs at breakfast and dinner she may be setting herself up for some real health issues in the not too distant future. Heaven help her if she's heavy into sports and exercise. She could literally be living on air as it is easy to burn that many calories participating in one afterschool sports activity.

I think it's alarming so many moms are hung up on the fact that she's probably okay because she's not eating chips and pop. This kind of thinking will definitely set up a young girl for an eating disorder. The fact that she's getting defensive is a red flag. Don't just blow it off as a teen agnst thing. Explain to her if she wants to do something grown up like choose how she wants to eat, as long as she's under your roof you expect her to do it right, starting with getting guidance from an expert, not tips from girlfriends at school, or from books and magazines. She should have a real analysis done on her by a real nutritionist.

Keep in mind, eating only nuts, fruits, and veggies doesn't necessarily make one healthier or one's diet better than someone gorging on fast food and snacks. It goes beyond choosing just the right kind of foods...it's a combination of eating the right stuff in the right amounts for someone her height, weight and age. To do this right, she really should see someone who can tailor a vegetarian diet specific to her needs and lifestyle.

Most important, don't forget she's not done developing and could have some serious setbacks to her fertility and develop unwanted health issues if she's not getting a balanced diet to accommodate the needs of her growing body.

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That was way too much food, some of it high calorie (like the cliff bar and trail mix) for someone with an eating disorder, so I would not worry about it right now. If she starts to lose weight or feel or look unhealthy, than say something.

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My sister became a vegetarian when she was about that age too. She started out by eating a lot of Power Bars too. I think her lunch sounded like it had some really good choices. Maybe look up the total amount of calories each of those foods has. As long as she's getting the right amount of calories daily she should be ok. Plus, my sister also doesn't eat really big meals either, but she does eat more small meals and snacks. Perhaps that is what's going on too? Maybe your daughter is eating less per meal, just more frequently? Hummus is also a great food to have around for a vegetarian, very healthy and good to use as a dip or in sandwiches!!

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I think it will be very helpful for the two of you to go to a nutritionist/dietitian together. She needs to make sure she is getting enough calories and protein at that critical developmental age.

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As long as she had a healthy breakfast, I think that's a decent amount of food. The clif bar is prob around 230 cals + the banana + apple + bag of trail mix would put her at well over 500 cals for lunch which is plenty. I wouldn't have her take a clif bar every day for lunch though. Just make sure she has some real (vs. processed) food most days that are healthy that also has proteins - tofu, beans, etc.

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i say that was a lot of food and it was healthy but personally i would think she would need some sort of more stable proten. maybe do a humus and pita vegi pizzas for her for lunch. but to me i dont think just fruit and vegies is NOT a well balanced meal

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There were alot of healty items that she did choose. I think you made a good choice in packing some additional protein for her and I would let it go from there. My sister is a vegetarian since a child because she simply does not like to eat meat. She tends to eat things are that are unhealty and in abundance and ends up being overweight. being vegetarian does not equal healthy and skinny.I think your daughter made decent choices with her lunch. If she loses alot of weight or doesnt eat then I would be concerned. Be thankful that you are not having a battle on the other side with crappy fast food and sweets.

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You have to be careful when going vegetarian( I was one for about 5 years until I got pregnant with my first and craved chicken the whole time!) a lot of vegetarians don't get all the nutrients they need because they limit themselves on the fruits and veggies they eat. I would sit with you daughter and discuss your concerns then both of you can go over what a meal plan for her should look like that would keep her healthy.
~C.

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She's certainly old enough to make the decision about what she eats but she does need to be sure that she makes healthy decisions. It's great she wants to go vegetarian but it still needs to be a balanced meal. It's not as simple as throwing in some vegge and an energy bar in your lunch. Get her some books on vegan & vegetarian nutrition as well as some cookbooks. If this is something she really wants to do, she'll be interested in reading it and she'll learn from it. And she'll appreciate your support. If, after doing that, she doesn't change what she eats, I would consider having her talk to someone because there may be more involved. See if she'll be amenable to making a nutrition diary every day by writing down what she ate and how much. If there is more too it, that would be a good resource to have. If there isn't, it would still be a good resource to her so knows exactly in what areas she needs to adjust her food intake so it's more balanced and healthy. Good luck!

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I had an eating disorder throughout high school and into college. I would never have eaten that much food for lunch :-) A Clif Bar has 10g of protein (230 calories), plus the nuts in the trail mix are high calorie and healthy protein.

Please work with her to explore a healthy vegetarian diet. Continue to explore protein options with her, so that you can be comfortable with her choices. Make sure she knows you support her in this and are interested in her health, but open to new things.

A person can have an eating disorder without losing substantial weight (I weighed EXACTLY 114 lbs for the five years I had an eating disorder, at 5'4" that was within normal weight, but I was totally consumed/obsessed with food in all ways), and a person can change and limit their diet without having an eating disorder. Keep the communcation lines open, and your mom's intuition active!

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Actually, it sounds like she packed a pretty healthy and hearty lunch! Given how many of us get only the Clif bar for a meal -the added fruits, veggies, dip and trail mix (which is usually LOADED with fat and calories as well as protein) sounds great! I can't imagine many people wanting to throw a nut butter and honey sandwich on top of all of that. I would totally let this go. If you notice her REALLY limiting her food intake so that she's taking an apple (and that's it) for lunch or wanting to only eat a Clif bar for dinner -then say something.

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You need to keep an eye on her food - I was borderline anorexic - now I 'joke' that I stopped eating meat, then I stopped eating anything. Don't be confrontational - it's a control issue. If she sees you trying to control her food (if this is indeed the case) she will push back and can make a sensitive situation worse.
Stock up on vegetarian food with calories and protein and see if she responds - tofu and soy products, greek yogurt, regular yogurt, smoothies with protein powder, beans with salads, etc.
Take her shopping with you - if she reads every label and puts things back with moderate fat/calorie conent, that is a warning flag.
Is she exercising more than usual?
IM me if you have more questions. This looks like a slippery slope...

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I think she is too young to make a decision like this without going to a doctor first. There is too big of a risk that she is cloaking an eating disorder behind being a vegetarian...or that this will spiral into an eating disorder. She needs the guidance of an expert who knows how properly to feed a *growing child* her age. She needs someone who knows her particular dietary needs (not generalizations such as these foods aren't junk food) to make safe and good diet recommendations. Don't just point her in the direction of a few books on nutrition and vegetarian cookbooks. She needs someone who knows her particular dietary needs and health history. JMO.

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She is growing up which is really what you want her to do.

I say play it cool. In the next month and a half try taking her to the doctors. Have her weight checked. If it has dropped at all, that should be an indication of something else. Let the doctor inform her because it really does take a village to raise children.

I also prescribe the the slicker the oil method of raising children. If you can find a video, article or anyother information regarding healthy diet for vegetarians and the like associated with teen development, I would pop that in and let it play or fix it to the fridge door. You can always say that it is a reminder for yourself.

I know many vegetarians and they each have had their fair share of health problems because of lack in their diet. Still make certain she is having a balanced diet. Proteins are important. Is she at least eating fish for the brain and omega 3's and beans for protein. This should definitely be a part of her new diet.

Don't "talk" to her just apologise for this mornings blow up and then get to being slick. She won't even see what hit her because you are going to be stealth mode momma.

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I thought that sounded like a rather healthy lunch, good choices for a 13 y.o. she has everything except animal protein and dairy, which is fine. Almond butter is great, i'd google recipes to make a dip with it or as someone said, hummus is great too. I'd look at making (or having her make) homemade trailmixes, so you can choose the best ingredients, like almonds, dried cranberries & blueberries, a healthy granola etc. Watch her weight and behavior for changes, and address them if necessary. It is common for girls this age to diet, and eating disorders can start there, I agree with what others have said. Even skinny girls diet. But it may not be that, there are alot of people simply becoming aware of how "wrong" or "inhumane" it is to consume "dead animal flesh", that term alone makes me want to be vegetarian again! the raw diets and vegan eating is increasingly popular. I would have a good talk with her about her reasons behind the change, but bottom line I would accept her decision. 13 year old know an awful lot *cough cough* its often best not to question or argue it as it may just be a phase too.

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I'm surprised you are not concerned that she may have an eating disorder (even though you mentioned you wondered if something else is going on...please go with you instincts). Her behavior raises a big red flag for me. She is dieting and if you don't address this immediately, she can lose so much weight that she can die. Why not make an appointment with your pediatrician, have her come with, and address this new "fad" of eating she has adopted and let the pediatrician help you. I don't think you should "force" her to eat anything because she could do it just to satisfy you and then turn around and vomit it up. In my opinion, this is serious.

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Why don't you go on line and google healthy vegitarian meals for her age group. When people cut out meat/chicken they have to replace the protein somewhere, make sure she is getting enough as she is athletic an needs the stamina and muscle to perform.

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I think that she actually packed quite a sufficent lunch. Be proud of her...she did a great job!

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I'd start by taking her to a nutritionist. During my teen years some of my friends tried out being vegetarian. They lost weight and became sick not because of an eating disorder, but because of a lack of education on vegetarian diets. Some common mistakes they made were not eating enough protein or not eating enough in general because they were not sure what to eat!

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You need to consider that she may have an eating disorder....
and if so... she will need Therapy... and treatment....