Should I Have Another Baby???

I am in the same situation. I have a girl that will be 8 in August and my son will be 3 in just a few short weeks. So there is a huge gap in age between them. It works for all of us though. She likes to teach her little brother things and he loves to learn. He worships his big sis, she says he's a pain but he is her playmate through and through. They are unseperable. They don't like to go places without the other. It's very sweet. Of course, it's not always heaven, as my daughter wishes it was just us sometimes because little brother wants to be everywhere she is. But we deal and she learns to love him again.

My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and he is ready to have a vasectomy. I on the other hand an not ready to make that permanent decision. I am 32, and had a very rough year this past year with very serious health concerns. I am now getting back to "normal" and want to think about getting pregnant around the first of the year. Once I have one more, I can happily say, I am done having babies. But my husband thinks we would be unfair to our two kids by having another. But I can't stop thinking of what it would be like to have just one more baby. I cannot take birth control because of my recent health issues so we have to be very careful right now. I am not supposed to get pregnant for a few more months becuase of meds I am taking. But once I am off of them, it's a go, if I can get him to agree. For you, I say go for it if you and your husband are not ready to "throw in the towel" yet. Good luck to you! I absolutely loved being pregnant! The excitement of knowing I would have a beautiful little boy or girl to love and cuddle, there is nothing like it in the world!

I was going through this same thing awhile back. I (we) decided to have a baby. At the time my kids were almost 5 and 8. We now have a daughter that will be 10 in June, a son that is 7 as of Sun. and a 10 month old. I was worried about bottles, diapers, etc. Really I breastfed this time around and that took care of the bottle mess. I don't mind diapers (they will potty train at some point), and like you I would like to have one more to have an even number. Still trying to convince my husband. My older kids are great with the baby. Time will tell how they are when they get older. This is a tough decision and I wish you the best with whatever you decide.

My situation was very similar. I had a boy in 2001, a boy in 2002. We debated on another child, my husband is older and I was actually 30 shortly after I had my 1st. We recently had our 3rd boy in June 2007. I new before we had him I was not ready to say no more kids. I was very excited when my third was born and it has been nice in that the other 2 are in school all day so I have more freedom to spend with the baby.

Take a minute to pray about it. Discuss it with God. If this is your first time praying or going to God with a problem, then GREAT!! DO IT again, again, and again. If it's not, then you should know that this decision should be made with prayer. As for the age difference, I just recently (and times flies so fast) had a baby. He's now 28 months old!! His brother is 10 years old. Huge age gap, but I have lots of help, and my 10 year old is able to see what he did when he was a baby. They are also getting to the ages that I can reason and talk to them about issues. So it has worked out great for me, but I did it with blessings and prayful conversations with God first.
Melissa J.

If you're even considering it, then I would say "Yes - go for it!". Seems to me like everyone I know who is done having kids KNEW they were done without a doubt. We were in a similar situation - I have a 4 year and a 2.5 yar old and am expecting again in 5 months. I will be 37 when the third is born and although there are risks as we age, if you're healthy and have healthy practices while pregnant, the odds of having any problems at 30 years of age shouldn't be an issue. Good luck!

I don't have any advice on how you'd know if you're ready or not, but wanted to help ease your mind about the age gap. I am the youngest of three girls. My sisters are very close in age and I am about 4 years younger than my middle sister. I have never felt "left out." We're all really close.

I was in the same place you are two years ago. I had two daughters then 4 and 6. My husband loves kids and wanted one more little girl to complete our family. He loved feed and rocking the kids even at 2:00 in the morning. I didn't want to do diapers and bottles again. After thinking about it and a lot of convincing from my husband we decided to have just one more. I miscarried 12 weeks into the pregnancy and it was at that point that I realized how much I really wanted a baby. I got pregnant a month later and we have a wonderful son. I can't imagine my life without him. I have never for one minute regretted the decision to have one more. My two girls love to play with thier brother most of the time and are so good with him. They try to include him in almost everything they do. Kids are truely a blessing and a miricle from up above. Good luck with your decision. A little side note, when I was trying to decide weather to have another child a friend who is older told me she had always regretted not having one more. Good luck!

I totally understand! We have two boys ,ages 5 1/2 and 2 1/2. We've been done with diapers for over a year now, we never had bottles because we breastfeed... and I think how nice it is to not have diapers or sleepless nights.

Then I pull out a newborn size cloth diaper and just sigh... they are so tiny and so cute, and I long to have another baby to put those teeny little diapers on! At the point we are at right now, we have kind of decided to live it up in 2008, and in 2009 we'll truly think about what we want. So as it stands right now, our kids will be (at the youngest) 7 and 4 when another is born. I think everyoen adjusts regardless of the age difference.

Only you and your husband can decide what is right for you. Good luck in your choice!

i thought about this before...we have 2 girls as well...life is getting pretty easy without bottles, diapers, sleepless nights...if I were younger, I would probably have 2 more...the thought of 3 leads me to think there will be an odd man out especially since the youngest would be 4-5 years younger...if you have 3 have 4 so the last two can pair up!! this is just my opinion...a mom of two. :)

We were in the same boat a week ago and then found out that the decision was made for us--I'm pregnant! After the initial shock wore off (the timing of this pregnancy isn't the greatest for us) I'm pretty excited! My daughter is only 19 months old so they won't be that far apart in age. Only you and your husband can decide if it's right to have another. Keep in mind that the pregnancy is over in 9 months and the cute baby will grow up. Is being pregnant and having a baby the only reason you want another or are you prepaired for the sleepless nights, constant diapers, eventual potty training, etc, that comes with another child? If you aren't prepaired to go through all that again, could you try babysitting for friends or relatives to get over your "baby crave?"

Let mother nature take over. don't try to have a baby if it happens it happens and was meant to be.

I would do some research about having a baby after 30. The rate of miscarriage goes up dramatically at age 30. The percent is about 20%. Also, the risk of down syndrome goes up the older we get:

At age 25, a woman has about a 1-in-1,250 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome.
At age 30, a 1-in-1,000 chance.
At age 35, a 1-in-400 chance.
At age 40, a 1-in-100 chance.
At 45, a 1-in-30 chance.
At 49, a 1-in-10 chance (1, 4).

The final thing to think about is the higher percentage of twins the older we get. I know quite a few couples that tried for a third and had twins.

I personally felt that I was missing out on another baby. I chose the route of taking the risk. I started at 30 and had two miscarriages. Finally I had a healthy baby. Good luck on your journey!

Hi J.~

My thought for you is what does your heart or gut say? Ya know that inner self that only you know the way you feel. I knew after baby #2 that I was not done having babies. I couldn't explain it but I just knew!!!

I have had pretty difficult pregnancies but that was not going to stop me. I am 35 and just had our 3rd little on just 2 1/2 months ago so I know a little bit of what you are talking about in regards to the "sleepless nights".

My other thought is do it now before the time continues to get away from you....KWIM? Or if it just isn't right then try and focus on your other two.

I have to tell you that our 3rd little one is such a "blessing" to our family and we are so thankful we have her in our lives!!! She "truly" completes our family.

Well I don't know if anything I have said is helpful or though provoking but I do know where you are coming from and just thought I would share.

Take care~
A.

As a mom with many chilren, I can't say I ever regretted having one! Sure, they are a lot of work, but they are blessing for life! I think when we think of children, we should look past the baby stage, too. I have two adult children who are such a blessing to us. When I grow old, there will be more people to share life with and to treat mom good. :-)

Hello J.,

I wanted to respond to the age gap too, and say that my boys are 5 and 9. They get along wonderful and have no age related problems. The little one has stepped up to the plate and is maturing wonderfully under the influence of his big bro and our big guy is happy to be a big brother. We are expecting again, so have another HUGE gap. Hopefully baby fits right in too.

Good luck to you whatever you decide! :)