Should I Have Another?

Hi T....
I have two of my own they are not twins but 10 months apart... I have often thought of the same thing my kids are 4 and almost 4 now. But when I stop to think about having another baby in the house and all the diapers and bottles.. I just don't think that I am ready for it all over again... NOW I am extatic that we are so independent and we can just up and go to swim lessons and dance etc... and IF there were a baby involved I think they would be put to the side and as you say they are the lite of my life as well...

If you and your husband both want another child, go for it!!! It will be stressfull at times, but if you don't have another child when you both truly want one, someday you might regret the decision not to. Good luck!

You need to find that answer for yourself. I have 3: 4yrs girl, 3yrs boy and 11 mo boy. I love all my kids but going from 2 to 3 kids was a huge adjustment for me. Actually, there are still days when I wonder how different life would be with 2 kids only. You are simply outnumbered with 3 kids and scheduling is extremely difficult. Having said this, I cannot imagine not having my 3rd child... Since you are still so young, you could certainly wait until your twins are a little older. I understand that having a huge gap between kids poses other difficulties but you need to be selfish for this one and consider which scenario would optimize you to be the best mom you can. Better to be an excellent mom of 2 than a tired and stressed mom of 3. I sometimes feel more tired and stressed than I feel I should be. Again, you need to ask yourself those hard questions. What do you want to do and experience with your kids? Depending on the answer, does it have time, money, etc. limitations? You also need your spouse full support and this decision.

I know there is a trend these days of having three kids but I personally think it is unfair to the kids. Two kids with married parents each have one parent to give them attention. Add a third and someone is always feeling left out. Your third child may always feel less special than his/her siblings because he/she isn't a twin. Then there are the costs of raising another child. The average child costs his/her parents $250,000 over his lifetime. You and your husband could retire 3-5 years earlier if you didn't have a third.

Dear T.,
I would give anything to have another child. But I'm 52 and the last one we almost had had his cord in a knot and we lost him at 8 months and 1 week pregant. WE tryed and tryed to have another and it just never happened. We have families at our chruch that have 6 and 8 kids and what ends up happening which I think is cool it that when the older ones get even older they help take care of the younger ones and they do a great job helping out mom. I've been pregnant 7 times and have 4 living and 4 with the Lord one pregnacy was a set of twins I lost at 4 month and anothr at 1 month. I defnitly would go for more. That's just my opinion though. If I could I would have had more. The ones I have were born in 72, 78, 81 and 89 and to think I could have had even more would be wonderful. But I would pray and ask the Lord and let him guide you. If he wants you to have more you will if not you won't I just know that from experince. ____@____.com

There are so many factors why people choose to have or not have more children - you have to weigh them out for yourself. If you can financially and emotionally support a third child, and you want another then go for it. (It does not have to cost $240,000 over the course of a child's lifetime - it really depends on what you consider "necessities" - Pottery Barn crib sheets, for example are nice, but not a necessity! LOL) I have a seven year old, a one year old and one more on the way. I too worry about taking care of the older baby AND the new baby, but you figure the boys will be four when you have your next child and four isn't near as needy as three (in fact, they can be quite helpful!) Good luck, and also, I agree with previous posters - you're young yet - you have plenty of time to make this decision!

Hi T.,

Maybe wait until the twins are a little older and start kindergarten. You and your hubby still have plenty of time to add to the family. And if in 2 yrs. you both are still feeling you want more then maybe thats the time.

I went thru a phase where I wanted a 3rd, but I got over it and now I'm more than happy with the 2 I have. I think thats enough for me. But its a personal decision.

By the way, I had a friend who had twins, then got pregnant with another set of twins. It's a rare coincidence but you never know :)

T.

I actually just posted today about the thoughts of having another. I have 2 girls one 14 and other 16, so I would totally be starting over. I would say go for it too, with yours still being 3 your not out of the loop like I am. As a matter of fact my 14 yr old has 2 twin sisters on her soft ball team and they have a little brother I think that has to be about 3 yrs younger then they are and he screams and yells and gets all excited watching his 2 big sisters. You having twins and thinking of another....your ready ;-) Good luck....

If you are only 20 years old you have A LOT of time to have another child. So, if you aren't 100% sure right now, wait a while. I know that I am only cut out to be the mom of 2 kids and that will be it for me. Plus, if you have twins in your family, what would you do if you had another set of twins???

For the fact that you're even wanting another one proves that you'd do just fine with another child. If the twins were enough, you'd KNOW that you were done. 100%.
I've got twins who are now 7 & 2 singletons after that, youngest still in diapers.
L.