Should I Ground Her?

She asked permission, and then took it out when you said no. She did the right thing. So, I don't think you should punish her.

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I think she did the right thing to take it out of the bag, whether she told you or not. The important thing is that she did the right thing, even though she could have continued to try to sneak it to school. I'd tell her she made a good choice by doing putting the toy back, and leave it at that.

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ground her for what? 'looking like she was lying'?
you have a good kid. you will get to ground her for something eventually. no need to look this hard for a reason.
khairete
S.

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I don't think she really did anything wrong, I may be wrong here but you say you are a strict parent, she was probably scared to let you know that she already put the toy in the bag, I would be at that age, especially if I new what the consequences could be. I would praise her in the fact that she chose to listen to your word and not take the toy to school, so she was a bit scared to admit it was already in the bag, I would imagine that she already learned her lesson and this is shown by her fear. My daughter 5 takes a toy or book in ocassionally to class, I mean how cool is it to show off your new toy or read a book to your teacher that you just learned at home. It's so cool to show a teacher something a this age.

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No, she didn't take it to school so she didn't break the rule or do anything rebellious. Telling her what to do better next time is sufficient in this situation. Since you are very strict you can't blame her for trying not to get in trouble really.

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She probably felt she was probably in a "no win situation" by that point. She took it out because you told her no. I don't see the issue.

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I'm curious as to why you haven't asked her teacher if it's truly a class policy that they get to bring 1 toy every day? If it's okay with the teacher, why wouldn't you let her do it?

I have to say -I'm finding a hard time seeing what she really did wrong here. Yes, she put it in her bag before asking you, but that's just a kid for you! At least she obeyed you when you told her she couldn't take a toy. I wouldn't really view it as "sneaking." Maybe she thought if it was already in her bag, you would let her take it. This is obviously important to her, so I would ask the teacher and let her take a toy if it's okay.

It's fine to be strict and have rules -kids need boundaries and rules, but when you have too many and they get in trouble for every little thing -it turns them into sneaky little liars who aren't going to come clean about anything with you.

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If she tried to sneak it to school I would ground her, but she was doing what she was told by removing it so I would drop it.

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I wouldn't ground her since she was taking it out of her bag after you said no. If she wouldn't have asked and took it anyway or took it after you said no, then I would ground her. I would have a talk with her though and remind her she has to ask before putting a toy in her backpack.

I would send a note or email to the teacher to verify if they are allowed to take a toy to school. Maybe she can explain why she allows this. Maybe they can only get it out during recess?

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I wouldn't ground her. She is ovously a good child if she listened to you and took it out. My daughter would've taken it anyway (then i would have grounded her).

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No. She didn't take it to school and she asked permission.
What you've got to watch for is when she thinks it's easier to seek forgiveness after the fact than to seek permission beforehand.
THAT would be something that would require a punishment.
My son would sometimes ask to take a toy to school.
A few other kids did at different times, and at least on one occasion the beloved toy was lost or stolen.
I told my son if it was at home, at least you knew it was safe and waiting for you when you got home.
It's never been a problem since then.

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I say no punishment. She took it out because you said no, that was very good of her.

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I think it is time to be more informed. Ask the teacher what the kids do with the one toy they bring. If she allows it, perhaps she has a rule on how to keep them from being distracted with it during academic times.

Understand first before making rules. She may want this to be like her peers, give her comfort from something she loves, she's just a kid. You don't want to control everything. She needs to make good decisions and good choices come from good input. You could use some input before proceeding.

Anyway, she TOLD you. She's 7 years old. But she TOLD you. Grounding? That's punishing for being honest. Not great to do.

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No you really don't have a reason to ground her. She didn't take the toy to school. It's the kids job to push the boundaries and our job to hold the boundaries. If you punish her for pushing the boundaries, she is likely to rebel at some point. I too expect my kids to follow my rules, but you need to be thoughtful in your punishments. If they are too often severe for the offense or too frequent they loose there effectiveness.

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I wouldn't punish her... She could have just kept it in her bag and brought it to school without you knowing, but she didn't.

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I don't think I would ground her, at least not this time. But let her know you are going to ask the teacher about the "one toy" policy and what they do with those toys at school (sounds kind of iffy to me). And do talk to the teacher - it may make some sense when you find out what's going on.

Just to put it in perspective - she DID ask (even if it was after she put it in her backpack), so at least she is still thinking about that. Just remind her than she needs to ask first.

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My younger daughter is the type that gets into these moods where she has to have something special to take to school, like a small toy. I tell her often it isn't a good idea. The teacher won't appreciate the distraction, and she risks getting it lost, stolen, broken, or fought over. But ultimately, I let her make the decision. Eventually, something WILL get lost, stolen, broken, or confiscated by an upset teacher. She will have to learn this lesson the hard way. I really don't care if she has one less toy, we have way too much stuff as is.

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She was trying to take it out, rather than sneaking it to school. Granted, she should have told you that she had already put it in her bag (did that really matter, since she was taking it out?), but the sneaking part is what would get me. I wouldn't ground her, but just talk to her about trust and honesty.

I wouldn't punish her, she put it in her backpack but she still asked, then when she was told "NO" she took it out. Just by taking it out of her backpack makes her a good child, she has guilt and conscious, she already knew she better get it out. I would just have a talk to her again to ask first, don't assume the answer will be yes.

Let her take a toy to school every day. If the teacher thought it was a distraction, she would not allow it. My son gets to take one toy to school a day (for recess time). It is probably embarrassing for your daughter when all the other children get their toys out and she has nothing. How sad for her! Please, momma, pick your battles. This is nowhere near a battle. It is something most schools allow. The children are not allowed to play with their toys when it's learning time. There is a reason the teacher allows this.

I would leave the school rules to the school. Schools tend to err on the side of caution and if kids can't handle things they have a rule against it. So if the school allows one toy to school, let her bring it. She probably feels alienated from her friends who are bringing toys.

If she wasn't allowed to bring a toy and she did, the teacher will have a disciplinary process in place. Same goes for playing with the toys in appropriate and inappropriate times. the teacher has a whole class to handle, I'm sure she has a good system worked out so that the toys aren't a distraction.

Let her off with a warning.

Blessings...

I wouldn't punish her. Just let her know that you don't want her taking toys to school ever and why. I have this same issue with one of my daughters. I don't mind her taking one toy to school now that I know they can. The teachers allow them to bring a toy to play with at recess. They have to keep the toy in their backpack until it's time to go outside then they are allowed to get the toy. Alot of the kids bring soccer balls, basketballs, footballs, stuff like that and it isn't a big deal. My daughter and some of her friends take stuffed animals to play with. I would just ask the teacher and see what the policy is on bringing toys.

It depends, has this or something similar happened before? If yes, then she should have consquences, maybe removal of one privelage, not total grounding. If no, then explain to her that sneaky behavior is a form of lying and it is not acceptable. Explain how trust is developed between her and you, her parents. Explain that although her teacher may allow toys at school, you feel it is not necessary and it is YOUR rule that she not take toys to school and she must abide by your rules.

I would just reinforce your initial rule which is to NOT bring toys to school. Even though the teacher allows it, I am with you, school is not the place for toys from home. I do not see the need to punish her at all, she really wasn't defiant and respected your decision when you told her no. I would actually thank her for listening and respecting your decision.

Good luck!

Well she disobeyed your rules, whether she is a good child or bad one...the behavior at that moment was unacceptable, so she should have a consequence for consistency sake to let her get the message that you mean it when you say she should not bring a toy. Now if you do NOT really think it's a big deal and she does not have the potential to sneak and lie about it again in the future, then let it pass...otherwise use your best judgement.