N.D. asks from Cincinnati, OH on July 17, 2010
Should I Get a New Pediatrician?
My 5 month old daughter was born with an enlarged kidney, which makes her prone to urinary tract infections. For this condition, she sees a specialist at Cincinnati Childrens Hospital, in addition to her Pediatrician. The specialist at Childrens Hospital told me to call him if my daughter ever got an unexplained fever, or if I took my daughter in to her Ped for a fever, and was just sent home. About 3 weeks ago, I took my daughter to her pediatrician because she had a temperature hovering around 99.2-99.6 for a few days and was just not feeling well. I know that it is not a fever until 100.4, but for my daughter that's the highest it's ever been, and I've read that if it's not a temperature that's normal for her, that it could be of concern. When my daughter saw the Ped, she said there's no fever and it's probably just a stomach virus and there's nothing we can do but let it run its course.
Last week, my daughter's temp was still hovering around 99.2-99.6, and she was extremely and non-stop fussy. She wasn't producing as many wet diapers, and it was difficult to get her to eat. Also, she was vomiting and having infrequent but runny stools. I bypassed calling the pediatrician, and I called Childrens Hospital. They ordered a urine culture, and it came back saying that she does, in fact, have a urinary tract infection.
While talking to the nurse at Childrens, I also told her that I wasn't sure if she was vomiting or not, because my daughter spits up/vomits all of the time, and after every feeding. I've told her pediatrician numerous times, and she just tells me to make sure I'm burping her. Once she told me to try formula with added rice. I burp my daughter, and the formula change did not help. The nurse at Childrens told me that I needed to be pushy with my doctor if need be, or that I need to switch doctors. She said, it could be likely that the higher temp and decrease in wet diapers could be due to dehydration since she's spitting up so frequently.
I don't entirely blame her Pediatrician, because I do take my daughter in all of the time. I'm a single mom, and I don't really have any help. My mom isn't available, and it has been just my daughter and me since before her birth. I'm an inexperienced first time mom, and my little girl is my whole life. Usually I just call the office to ask if I need to be concerned, and they always tell me to come in. 85% of the time, there's nothing going on, or so they say. She got a little touch of thrush, and that's what most of my calls were about. However, I called because the medicine was not working, and they kept her on it for a month despite the fact that I told them I give it to her as directed and it's not working. The first time I told a nurse that, she said, try for another week and then we will have to change her to something else. I went in and the doctor said, try another week b/c the next step up is more harsh on her liver, and gave me the impression that he didn't think I was giving my daughter her medicine. So, I tried another week, and still nothing. When they finally changed the script, it went away in just a matter of a few days.
The only other calls have been due to her repeatedly projectile vomiting after eating for about a week. I know it was projectile, because after she would do it, I would have to change all of my clothes and scrub the carpet, or changer her sheets, or put her bouncy chair in the washer. They told me that it was because she needed to burp in between feedings.
I took my daughter in 3 weeks ago, and they said it was nothing. UTIs can do serious damage to infant kidneys, especially since hers are already compromised. If I didn't call Childrens Hospital, I know her doctor would have told me there was nothing going on. Childrens Hospital told me to make an appointment with her Pediatrician a week ago, and I did not do it because I felt like I was over reacting, and I know that they hate it when I call. I wanted to observe her to make sure first. Finally, yesterday I called because I knew for sure that there was something definitely not right. The nurse answered the phone, and I could tell she had a tone because it was me calling, yet again. I explained the situation, and when I mentioned my daughter's enlarged kidney, she gasped like a light bulb just went off. She checked her records, and told me that Childrens Hospital sent them the culture results and that she did have a UTI. She made the remark that she's talked to me probably a million times, and my little baby has been to the doctor so many times in her short little life, but of course the time I wait and don't call in right away, there is something wrong.
Another thing, is when I wanted to talk to her pediatrician about the growing concern with shots and autism or other issues, she was not at all sensitive, and did not listen to anything I had to say about it. She got very annoyed, and said there's no evidence linking autism or anything else to these vaccines. There have been extensive studies, etc etc etc. I tried to tell her that I've done quite a bit of research, and from my understanding it's sort of impossible for anyone to totally rule it out or in. She did not want to hear what I had to say.
I just don't know if it's me being too concerned about things I shouldn't be concerned about, or if they are just not the right docs for us. Now that I know for sure that they pinpoint me as that girl who calls in alllllllll of theeeee tiiiiimmmmeeeee, I'm afraid they won't take my concerns seriously and be quick to dismiss anything I tell them. That's what they did this last time, and if Childrens didnt catch it, who knows how much longer this would have gone on for.
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So What Happened?™
Well, not that I am glad that others have had the same experiences, but I am relieved to know that I am not the only person who has felt this way, and that finding a new doctor may be beneficial. I was just afraid that if I switched doctors, I would run into the same thing since I feel like I'm the freak mom who is the problem. You are all right, just for the simple fact that I have lost confidence is a good enough reason. I just fear that when her medical records get transferred, the new doctor is going to look at them and also write me off as "that mom". It is so uncomfortable taking her to her current pediatrician, though. I can tell that her doctor wishes she were doing something more worth her time when she's meeting with me. It's so pressured for her just to be nice to me, and usually it seems as if she's just trying to run out of the room before I can ask her anything else. I don't feel that I'm asking anything out of the ordinary. I ask, why did this happen, is there anything I could have done to prevent it, is there anything i can do to prevent it, what should i be looking for since whatever i came in for today was obviously so trivial, how will i know if what you suggested is working, how much time should i give it to work, is there any way to know how long she's had this UTI since they can cause permanent damage at this age. I think I am going to switch, though. I guess I was just hoping it would get better, but it's hard to shake a label, and I have that label apparently. I wish I could know how they treated other patients. It's my daughter, though, and if I'm concerned I'm going to call. You're right, it is their job, and if they don't like it then they should do something else. I just could not imagine being so rude to a concerned mother. I understand that they see things everyday, and that just like any other job, it can get annoying, but I think they forget that we have doctors because we are not doctors ourselves. They get mad if I ask too many questions, but they also get mad if I share the fact that I do my own research and am interested in what their viewpoints are on certain issues. On one hand, I'm an idiot for asking such a dumb question and on the other hand, she's the doctor and who am I to think that I can research and challenge her "findings"? I'm a concerned mother, being doctors I'm sure they see a lot of mothers who could care less and let things get far out of control, and would appreciate the fact that a mother is worried, even if it is "excessive". They didn't hesitate to jump all over me for asking about vaccines because of the horrible things they've seen with a lack of vaccinations. It's going to be so awkward, but I think I'm going to make the switch. Thank you all so much!
Featured Answers
R.S. answers from San Antonio on July 17, 2010
Before I selected my pediatrician I called an scheduled a meet and greet...where I sat down with the doctor and we talked to see if she would work out as my doctor and if I would work out as a good potential "patient" (even though my child was the actual patient).
I just clicked with my pediatrician immediately. She was actually my OB/GYN's children's doctor...she is amazing. She also was a bit unconcerned about vaccines, but I trusted her and things went fine.
Go interview possible new doctors and see if you would be a good fit in their practice...they will tell you if you are not...
HUGS!!
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More Answers
A.F. answers from Chicago on July 17, 2010
Of course you should find a new pediatrician. Clearly you are not comfortable with the doctor or the staff. If you can't have open discussions with your child's doctor about your concerns you need to find a doctor with an open mind and a better bedside manner.
2 moms found this helpful
S.H. answers from Dallas on July 17, 2010
I would switch peds doctors. I worked as an medical asst in a peds office for over 7 years and the questions you are asking about vaccines need to be asked. I have seen many children have complications due to vaccines. WHen the rota tag vaccine first came on the marked it was pulled because it had caused intestinal blockage and death in some of the infants that were vaccinated with it. I also worked with peds doctors that would not give the combined MMR injection to childern that had a family history of autisum. I worked for about 15 different peds doctors over that 7 years (multi ped practices) and I do know that some are alot better than others and some should not even be in practice. If you are woundering, yes I am going to vacinate my baby but not with every vaccine. do your research. find a doctor that will talk and listen to you.
2 moms found this helpful
L.T. answers from Pittsburgh on July 17, 2010
I personally would look for a new pediatrician. I signed my kids on with a pediatrian who turned out to be very supportive and was a team player with specialists. My son was diagnosed with leukemia so his specialist was an oncologist. Our protocal was to bypass the ped for certain symptoms because it could be a very serious situation for him that would require an ER or oncologist visit. I was always catious about other issues that didn't require an oncology appt and I'm sure the staff came to know me as someone who called all the time, but they never gave me atttude about it. I know, however, that I drove them crazy calling every few days about getting flu shots for my kids, but it was an important precaution for my kids. I wasn't going to just drop it. You need to have a doc who is understanding to your needs as a new parent and as a parent of a child with special medical needs. Maybe the specialist can recommend a ped that they work well with. Best wishes to you.
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A.S. answers from Boca Raton on July 17, 2010
ND - bless your heart - you are a great mom for being so "on top" of this stuff - especially doing it by yourself.
As a mom of two teens - looking back - sometimes I wish that I had avoided peds and simply gone to an internist or general practitioner (or even a naturopath) with my children. It takes a very gifted ped to be able to communicate properly with parents while maintaining competence (yet healthy curiosity and open-ness to learning new stuff) in the practice of medicine. Practicing medicine is an ART and a calling - not an "X + Y = Z" engineering job. Sometimes I feel that today's peds are all about well child visits (read: vaccines) and handing out antibiotics. And not much else. But that's JMO (and I do like my current ped even though I have to "push back" with him too).
I have seen veterinarians with better clinical, intuition and empathy skills.
My suggestion is that you seek out someone with whom you are much more comfortable. I sense a hesitancy to change, and a fear of being judged. You need to let all of that go. When you do go to a new ped or doctor - try to wipe out all the emotion (I know that's hard when it's your child) and just stick to the facts. You are your child's advocate - wear that "hat" and don't take it off!
Good luck and God bless you.
2 moms found this helpful
M.P. answers from Provo on July 17, 2010
There is nothing wrong about calling all the time. I'm also a single mom, and new at it too. I have no idea what's going on with my baby, so I don't feel comfortable just saying it's this or that. I even post a thousand questions on here. Just look at my history and pages and pages of questions.
I know you have already said you would look in to a new doctor, but your old doctor sucks. Just the pure fact she isn't caring about your concerns about vaccines, shows what kind of doctor she is. Every doctor should hear your concerns and work with you about them. Just because she doesn't believe that vaccine and autism are linked, doesn't mean that other people don't have those concerns. My doctor and I agreed that an alternative schedule works well for us.
2 moms found this helpful
K.M. answers from Detroit on July 17, 2010
I would find a new Pediatrician if it were me. You should be able to go in and meet them to see if they are a fit for you. I don't care if you call 2 million times that is why you have a Doctor and in the mean time if you have to call your Doctor (until you get another one) I would ask to talk to the supervisor or the head nurse and just tell them that you have been getting attitude from the nurse and ignored by both the Doctor and Nurse. You know your child better than anyone. It is sad that today we do have to insist and be pushy just to get our kids seen at the Doctor they act as if you are asking them for an arm or one of their vital organs, that is their JOB if they don't want to see patients then they need to find another JOB. Good Luck to you and I hope you find a good fit for you and your Daughter.
K.
2 moms found this helpful
S.R. answers from San Francisco on July 17, 2010
Trust your instincts and find a new doctor. I would definately interview them before making a decision and try and get referrals from people you know in your area.
We recently had to switch insurance carriers and we lost our favorite pediatrition. The new one, though she has over 20 yrs experience, sucks and didn't want to take the time to get to know the kids or their history. Needless to say I am looking for a new ped too. If only I could get back to our old ped. A good ped will take the time and listen to your concerns. We used to be able to call and leave a message. She would call me back and discuss our concerns further and occassionally she would tell us to come in due to symptoms. There are other docs/peds out there with open door policies that won't label you that way. In my opinion the ones that do are burnt out and don't care anymore. That's not who I want caring for my kids. Good luck finding a new ped.
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P.W. answers from Dallas on July 17, 2010
Yes, you should. If for no other reason because you have lost confidence in your present doctor. It is so difficult, and somewhat embarrassing, to switch doctors, but I think you should find someone you feel more confident with. I would discuss this with your kidney specialist. Then ask around and choose a doctor that is not only knowledgeable, but open to your questions.
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