Should I Expect Communication from the Teacher on This?

Updated on September 28, 2011
T.F. asks from Pleasanton, CA
9 answers

My daughter is in 4th grade. I've had issues with the communication regarding timed Math fact quizzes and have ended up having my daughter study for the wrong ones based on emails the teacher has sent to me. I thought this was my issue as I've also been very sick over the last month (pnemonia) so gave her the benefit of the doubt. A new issue has come up.

The kids have file boxes to keep their supplies in. Someone took the pens out of my daughters filebox and wrote Sucks and other words by her name on the file box itself. The pens were found, the teacher had two girls give them back to Esther who were passing them out to the whole class after they found them. From what my daughter said, some of the words were on a name label that was on the filebox so the teacher had her redo the label. My daughter was mad about it but seems to be doing okay with it in that she's not overly upset or out for revenge. I think she does view it as a challenge to figure out who did it but thinks the whole thing will be dropped by today. I encouraged her to ignore it for now since she really doesn't know why someone did it. It could have been random but maybe not. I plan to ask the teacher after school today to see if her box needs cleaning or replaced as I don't want her to use a box that has derrogatory things written on it. When my husband found out he felt the teacher should communicate with us what happened and generally that it's being handled. According to my daughter nothing was said to the kids in the class, but that's not to say that wasn't the apropriate course of action. Thoughts? Things to look out for? Thanks!

Edited to Add: Sue you are right, those are very valid expectations She does have a planner. I skimped on the details of the math facts, just wanted make the point communication is an issue. Anyway not only do they have a planner but there is also a website for the kids to check their homework. What they were tested on and what my daughter had in her planner (and was listed on the website to study) were two different things. I asked for clarification in an email the first second AND third time it happened. What happened the following weeks was different from the planner and her email. Then framkly I gave up and we are just going through the Math Facst one by one 'til she's fast enough. I understand and support the fact that the kids should keep track of what their homework and what they are to study at this age. I DO think it should be clearly communicated as to where to find this information.

Thanks Dawn, you are right, that does help. For the past 4 years I've been in the classroom (math, reading, room parent). This year parents don't volunteer in the classroom. We are asked to do things outside, such as grade homework, order supplies, one off tasks such as binding, laminating and copying. I already volunteer for the book club, box tops, scrip, and special sessions where I teach sewing. Fortunately my being sick has not affected these things and I think I'm good timing wise.

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So What Happened?

Thanks Everyone! Great input as ususal, I will pass this on to my husband. I wasn't able to catch the teacher today and email is down. My daughter checked (at my request yesterday) and the new name label covered up anything that was remaining so I think all is well. The teachers aren't available before class and rarely after class, Email has been up and down due to server issues so I think I will let this one drop as by the time I do get to this it won't be timely and seems a non issue for now.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I would have called if I were teaching still.

I would have wanted called if it happened to my child.

The teachers here would NOT have called.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 4th grade daughter. I expect her to keep track of what quizzes she needs to study for. That's her job, not mine. I'll help her if she asks. She is in accelerated math, so I don't think my approach to this is holding her back at all.

Our school gives the students daily planners at the beginning of the year and then each day the students write in any homework they have or any tests coming up. I am required to initial the planner each night. This method of communication works pretty well.

The other, I would rather my daughter told me than the teacher. I think kids need to work these things out themselves, unless it becomes a pattern.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would ask the teacher to clarify the homework thing and throw in that you understand that she handled an issue with the box but does your DD need a new box?

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

The homework thing contact the teacher.

And no I would not have expected the teacher to inform me about the box thing.. This is 4th grade,. they are considered the big kids in school and your daughter will mention these things to you as long as you do not freak out.

The teacher is teaching the students to handle theses things on their own, but she is guiding them. You can ask her about this situations. Just let her know your daughter mentioned it, but you just wanted to verify that everything seems ok during the school day..

Just let her know you are glad your daughter mentioned it.

And mom, good job that daughter did share this. Just stay calm and offer some basic support, but encourage daughter to try to handle these things.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I would've asked for clarification of assignments when you discovered she was studying the wrong ones. By asking for clarification you are not accusing the teacher of messing up. You are letting her know something has gone haywire and giving her the opportunity to straighten it out.

Sounds like you and the teacher do communicate thru e-mail. I would've expected her to send you a message about the words on her box. Not about the missing pens since they were found but since the two things happened I'd expect to hear about both of them.

Yes, definitely talk with the teacher. Just say, your daughter told you about her missing pens and the words on her box and you'd like to know more about it. Don't mention having wanted her to tell you on her own.

When we remember to use I statements; (I want to know about the assignments; Tell me about what happened with the pens and box.) we're simply asking for information which does not put the teacher on the defensive.

I suggest that just as you had something happening (pneumonia) that prevented you from asking about the mix up, she may be having things going on that take precedent and prevented her from sending you a message. In fact, I suggest that the incident with the pens and box really was no big deal. The fact that your daughter is not upset reinforces that idea. Sounds like the teacher handled it. There is no more to be done. However, I'd still ask her about it.

When confused/unsure about what is happening, it's always good policy to go straight to the source and ask. The only time doing so would be a problem is if you made and accusation instead of asking for information.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes, the Teacher should be communicating any follow-up to this.
AND you should, reiterate this to the Teacher, in e-mail writing, that you want to know of follow-up. Too.
Don't 'assume' the Teacher will do so.
ASK her, to give you any follow-up.

The thing is, 'derogatory' graffiti, was put onto your child's, belongings. And her pens were taken. And it was not by accident. It was, intentional. It took 'effort' to do that to her belongings. And thought.
BUT, it is not known, WHO did that, to her.
BUT... to me... the Teacher CAN AND SHOULD, address the classroom about it... because, this is untoward behavior.
ANY Teacher to me... would want their class behavior, to be appropriate.

And YES, the Teacher SHOULD be speaking to the whole class about it.
ALL of my kids' Teachers, do that.
When there is a wrong-doing of any sort.

My daughter is in 4th grade and my son in Kinder.
And their Teachers, DO ADDRESS THE ENTIRE CLASS... on any wrongdoing.
Then on the side, they speak to the offending child or children. And notify their parents. And/or, if it is warranted, send the child to the Principal's office.

You put things in writing to the Teacher.
You DOCUMENT things.
And ask for, follow-up.

That is what I do, per any major grievances or wrong-doing that has been done to my kids. As in, Bullying etc.

My kids' Teachers, DO NOT PUT UP, with things like this. At all.

Now: about Math Facts. My Daughter's school has this timed Math testing ONLINE. On the school's computers.
My daughter is in 4th grade and does this too. At this grade level the student is expected to be more independent and to remember things and what not. BUT.... my Daughter's Teacher... ALSO, sends home an FYI, saying what level of Math Facts the kids need to be at... BY THE END OF THE QUARTER. And, these requirements... are delineated not by the individual Teacher... but by the Dept. of Education's standards per grade level.

Per Math Facts... each level they complete, is sequential. The student KNOWS this. They do each level in sequence as they complete each level. AND if the child completes a level in UNDER 2 minutes, then they can go on to the next, level. IF they do not complete a level in under 2 minutes, then the child has to do that level, again.
ONLY, the Math Facts tests, that they do AT school, are counted toward garnering each level. IF they 'practice' at home... for example, this does not count... toward the overall required "levels" that a child needs to attain.
Also, the Math Facts program, DOES tell the child, what level they are on currently and which levels they have completed. Thus, the student then goes onto the next level of Math Facts. It is, stated on the Math Facts screen. So it is hard, to do the wrong levels, because... it is all sequential.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

As you mentioned this could be just random or it could be something aimed at your child. The important thing is that your child is not upset over the incident, so I wouldn't let her know about your concerns.

I would definitely talk to the teacher about this. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but just be sure that it's being handled appropriately and that the teacher is alerted to watch for anything else.

Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I really don't know whether the teacher should contact you about this. I kind of think this is not something that would warrant a phone call or note from the teacher. I would, however, be extremely upset over the fact that the wrong information was communicated to you about the math quizzes. My grandson used to live with me and was on independent study. Week after week I had to e-mail the teacher for clarification on which assignments he was supposed to do because the assignment sheet was a mess! If I performed at work like that, I wouldn't have a job! Sometimes I wonder how a teacher who can't figure out what the lesson is supposed to be, can teach it! I'm not a huge fan of teachers!

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