Should I Be Upset???

I would take both my children, and then some, lol, and if someone complains, I would then know that they are having this party for other reaasons, not for the benefit of the children having a good time.

Honestly, this is just the start. When your kids go to school, both of them won't be invited to kids parties. It will always be one or the other. Just get use to it. Even though they are close together in age their not going to have the same friends or playgroups. I wouldn't bring my other child to the party and I wouldn't ask if I could. And I don't think that it's fair for you to assume that both of your kids should be invited to every party. It just won't happen. Take the one child and have your hubby do something fun for the day with your other son. But don't call to ask if you can bring both kids. That's almost like inviting yourself to the party.

C.,

I think condsidering that the parents are not involved in the playdates, that it was generous of them to invite your son. I would not be upset that your older child isn't invited, and I would not inquire about bringing him. I think it would actually be inconsiderate to the parents and to the other families for you to do so.

Tough call. I used to work at a rollerskating rink and we booked ALOT of parties. I can tell you that most parents were pretty ticked when siblings of invited guests came to their parties. For one thing they had to pay in the area of $15/per kid. That gets expensive when you have 3 or 4 siblings show up. Sometimes parents would bring the invited child to the party and they would pay themselves, for the sibling separate. This way they were involved but not directly part of the party.
I would also say that going forward there are going to be plenty of opportunities that include one child but not the other. This may just need to be a life's lesson for your boys. They arent always going to be together doing the same things.
If the party was at the home of the child and not at a party place, I would consider bringing both of my kids. The birthday mom isnt going to incur any direct expense from your other son being there.
OR, when you RSVP just ask the birthday mom if you can bring your other son, because if not you'll need to find a sitter. You'll probably be able to tell by her response and the sound of her voice whether or not your second child is really welcome or not.
Did that help at all? :)

Hi C.,

I would call the nanny and ask her if it is ok to bring your older son or only the youngest. That way you make it clear to yourself and at the same time give a friendly message the invitation was not very clear on that part. I always tell myself (most) people dont confuse others on purpose but their communication is not always very clear. good luck and enjoy the party.

hi C., i would definitely not be upset. neither of my kids are in preschool, so before we started going to parties, i didnt realize what an all-consuming thing it can be. i have close friends who's kids are in preschool, and i got similar invitations, when i asked her about it, she said of course i should bring them both, but its really geared to one or the other age, you cant have things geared to every age group of every sibling, and she just cant invite every member of every family "officially", she told me that none of them do, its just too much, they go to these parties almost every weekend, sometimes 2 or 3 in a weekend, everyone invites every kid in their childs class, playgroups, etc, and they all have siblings, plus both parents, and they often have the parties out, pay per head, plus many of these places are small and have a limit. you can see how it gets out of hand. i would either ask, or even better, just forget it and just bring the one and enjoy the time just focusing on one child for a change :) you wont have to worry about the other having nothing to do there, and you might even get to have a little adult interaction, and its nice for your child to not have to share you for a bit. have fun, D.

It is very possible it was an oversight. The parents probably only hear the name of your younger son when they hear about the playdate.When my 6 yr. old was invited to a classmate's party, I emailed the mom & explained the situation:my husband works weekends, I have a 3 yr. old.I offered to pay the cost of an additional child since it was at Playarobics.I also offered to send my older one with a friend if that was more convenient for them.The mom then invited my younger one to play with the b-day boy's younger brother.Since I didn't have to pay for admission, I gave that money towards the gift.People generally expect the parents to stay & watch their 1 yr. olds.Ask to pay for him to attend or ask if someone at the party can keep an eye on him so you can just drop him off & do something fun with the older one. When given a choice, I would rather pay the admission for another child than be responsible for him at the party.They probably didn't realize all three kids play together.

Don't try to be it probally wasn't intentional considering the partents sent the invite not the nanny who attends the playdate it could have been miscommunication the nanny maybe didn't let them know you had two children. Just call and RSVP and say by the way would it be alright if I bring my other child. I'm sure they wouldn't mind and if they do well do what makes you feel comfortable. I'm sure they are not going to mind. They are small at this point they don't eat that much

I would definitely ask before I brought a sibling. Just out of courtesy. Don't be offended, it may have just been a simple oversight or they may feel that they do not have the capability to entertain an older sibling. I know that when I plan a playdate I invite the siblings, but I let it be known that the toys I have may not entertain them. But you should definitely ask first because depending on the circumstances an unexpected person(though they may be small) can sometimes cause a problem if everything had already been planned to the last detail.

C.,

It's difficult to get used to at first but more and more parents are inviting just the specific child their child plays with. Costs of parties both at home or at specialty places are on the rise and it's hard to justify spending the money on a child that does not really know your own.

In fact, this is an issue I have been working on this year as we used to have one joint party for both of my children outside and we invited anyone who wanted to come. Now that they are getting older, they each have their own ideas of a perfect party and the perfect guest list. I simply cannot afford the cost of extra kids- if you allow it for one family, what do you do when another family has 3 or even 4 or more children?

In addition, age difference becomes a factor. It isn't comfortable for the "odd kid out" in age. There are just too many differences in development.

H.

Once the kids start school your going to come across that alot. In my opinion I don't think it's right to bring the uninvited siblings, because wheather it's in a home or in a party place you have to take in to consideration the other guests that have other siblings. Maybe the persons home is not large enough to cater to all these kids, not to mention paying for the extras if it's in a place. I also have two children, I just take the one or if I don't have anyone to watch the other I just stay home. Your children are still young enough so if you didn't go it would be o.k.

Hi C... it's ok to be upset. Although, as a parent I know it is hard to know what to do on the other end. Inviting a lot of people to a birthday party can become expensive. Imagine if you had to invite every parent with their child and their siblings as well. Some people have 4 kids or more. That can get a little out of control..lol. I don't think you should be offended. It is a hard decision for some parents to make. Please, don't just show up with your other child. I don't think that would be appreciated. However, a phone call to the parents is acceptable, just let them know you have another child and ask if it wouldnt be a problem for him to come along. If you can get someone to watch your other child for the few hours you will be at the party, that would work too.
All just my opinion of course. I am a mother of a 2 and a half year old, and have never actually been in this situation before. Good luck!!

Hi C.,
First dont be upset. yes ask if you can bring your older son.
I have seen that done plenty of times. More times then not the parents say yes...Good luck

N.

No - don't be offended- that's normal.....because of the age appropriateness of activities at each child's party. Bring your child that is invited alone. Your other child will probably have the same thing happen where the other child won't be invited as well at other times.

hi, i wouldn't be offended, or upset at this point...although i would call the parents, and ask if it was ok to take your older son (being the fact that you try to involve him too!). there's a posibility that the parents don't know, maybe the nanny didn't mention an older boy. once you talk to the parents, if they say they would rather just your younger son, i still wouldn't be upset over it, they may just want children of the age group, not older....but at that point i would just say decided on your own what to do there. while it would be good for your younger son, he would be amongst many children his age, you do have the right to want your older son there. good luck, hopefully they won't care/mind if your older son joins in with the party.

I am not so sure you should be upset, they party might be boring for your older son, or at least maybe that is what the nanny is thinking. I don't see why you couldn't call, if you feel comfortable inquire as to if there was a reason that the older son wasn't invited, maybe there is some sort of theme. I doubt the nanny meant any harm, so I wouldn't worry, just call and ask if you can bring him. Oh, and you should go to the party either way, it would be good for your baby (as I suspect you already know). :)

just call and ask if you can bring your older son. If you can't don't sweat it they may have a valid reason why. You'll encounter other times when this will happen to you it has to start sometime. Just don't sweat it!

I don't think you should be upset. You should ask if it is okay to bring to your other son, I'm sure it is OK.

I think they just may have assumed your almost 3-year-old would be bored at a baby party. I'd assume my almost 3-year-old would eventually get bored. He loves babies but, I few hours is asking too much. He'll play with his younger cousin for a bit but then get a little annoyed she can't do as much as he can. Not to an angry point but just to the point of "Okay, I have to move now."

Again, I'm sure it is cool to bring both sons but again 1 year and 3 years is a big difference and I believe they thought the games, theme, crowd would be a little slow for his taste.

Hi, Aside from a possible financial aspect, having a party for a (bunch of) 1-yr old could get quite hectic (the age w/alot of running around, getting into things). They may want to limit the amt of guests to keep the focus ON the "b'day boy". I don't think you should take it personally---if they make an exception for you to bring your one 2-1/2yr old -- how many others may also ask to bring their other child (or childREN). When my neices were younger (similiar age difference as your boys) my brother felt the same way. If one was invited he'd ask (sometimes just send) & send them BOTH (he'd say it was bcause he didn't want the one to feel 'excluded' but in reality it was easier for him). However, as the girls got older the age gap became more of an issue (not so bad when they're 1 & 2 yrs old but ages: 4 (pre school) & 6 (in school) or 10 & 12 it is a difference & they can't always attend same parties) Ultimatley it built "resentment" between the girls bcause they were always used to going wherever the other went. Hope this helps. Georgette