Should I Be Mad at My Daughter's Teacher? Very Long, Sorry.

I understand your frustration at the situation. I think that after school starts again in would be appropriate to sit down with the teacher and clarify what needs to be done to help your child. Please do not automatically be angry at the teacher. This is a very stressful time of year for everyone and you cannot imagine the amount of paperwork that teachers have. She probably really does not have time. For those who are complaining about a typo or the fact that "that is her job" I encourage you to shadow a teacher for a day or two. Not just volunteer in the classroom but learn how many phone calls, meetings, etc. teachers have. I know that most people would be surprised. I know that there are subpar teachers out there. But we are not the enemy! Open communication is the key to a successful relationship. Email often does not convey intent or emotion correctly. Talk to the teacher and keep reading!

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I think she probably misunderstood what you wanted... The way I understood what you wanted was for her to put together a few pages of excerpts from books, or paragraphs at her age level, not just an example of what she should be reading. You might try asking a librarian for a list of books at the 1st grade level... They are usually based on AR levels so it would probably be easier to try that...

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Hi H.,

I think your daughter's teacher is being a bit rigid here (and passive aggressive!). There really aren't any passages per se that she could give you, but there are plenty of books she could recommend that would be on a first grade level. Many schools are using the Fountas and Pinnell guide for leveling books, so you could ask her how the books are organized.

It is true that reading every day to your daughter will help improve her reading. But I think that her teacher could be more helpful if she was more specific about what you could do at home.

Hope that helps.

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Reading typically takes off around the 2nd half of 2nd grade (or around 7 yrs old).
It varies a bit from child to child.
My son struggled up to that point (so did I) and then there was no stopping him.
By third grade he was reading Harry Potter on his own.
Just read with her every night.
Make it fun. Play games with words and letters.
We started with Red Fish Blue Fish.
We did almost every Dr Seuss book there was till we had some of them memorized.
I wouldn't be too worried yet.

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If your school district is like our school district, the kids get out early tomorrow. It doesn't seem unreasonable that she doesn't have time to do extra work when you can continue to read with her. This is a crazy time in school, I would give her a break.

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Hi. I can tell you are stressed and you are a good mom to care and want to prevent problems. I taught mainly K and 1st. It is great you are working with your child. Getting mad at the teacher is not going to help your child.

Reading and more reading is the key. As a prarent of a straight A student, I still read to her and we take turns reading almost every day. My child excels at school but her speed of reading outloud is not as fast as they recommend. I just keep practicing with her at home.

I also discuss the content(who, what, where, when, why) or the story in a fun, relaxed way. We printed out the basic sight words(Dolch) by grade level and made sure she knew them. We also sound out words and remind her of the sounds of letters and blends.

Though I detest Dick and Jane and Dr. Seuss, we read plenty of them because she practices her sight words and fluency is a fun way rather than boring flash cards every day. I also read many repetitive, predictable books(Brown, Bear Brown Bear and the House that Jack Built).

I don't think you were asking this, but other parents I know have asked for the test to "reteach" it. I would never give out the passages that we test over. Not even to a parent of a former student. Teaching the test is cheating and not helping the child.

:-)

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If it were me I would talk to the principal. I feel like her response was rude. "This is why I don't talk to you after school", what is that!? If she can't or won't help then maybe switching teachers is in order. I've just never encountered a teacher that was unwilling to speak with me and help me help my kids. Maybe, before going to the principal try scheduling a conference with the teacher and see if she will help you after an official conference over the examples. If she still won't go to the principal and see what can be done.

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First of all, I think the teacher needs a little practise typing. She spelled dodn't wrong! Second of all you don't have to believe all these things these teachers are saying. They are also wrong sometimes, (sorry to all the teachers who are right). Next since I am older, and therefore of course have different ideas about things, I would wonder why teacher doesn't have time to find passages if she thinks that is what will help your child. That is her job. Finally, this is getting ridiculous in my mind, a six year old is not learning how to read from passages anyway. How can a child learn to enjoy reading if it is only in small increments. Introduce her to wonderful books, read to her so she can model and let her see what a joy it is to do so without the pressure. Good grief. Your daughter sounds wonderful.

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i find her response rude. when i was in school teachers would stay after with the parent to thuroughly explain things to the parent and would give good examples. to me it seems like she isnt showing your daughter in a way shes understanding. maybe get her some phonics to use its a fun way to learn and read.

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Hi H.,
You might just want to ask her for a list of recommended books, not passages. She might think you mean a particular example sentence. And, I don't blame her for not wanting to spend her vacation time on school work. Imagine if all the parents had similar requests. She wouldn't get a vacation at all. I think she sounded friendly enough. She is just encouraging you to keep doing what you are doing.

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Hmmm, the teacher should be able to pull a book off the shelf and show you exactly what "level" reader it is, and if your DD is above or below it.

All the early reader looks are leveled with specific word counts and word difficulty.

Her answer should be waaay more articulate that "read books". It should be closer to... "Here's a list of level 1 books you can find at the library" SHe's currently a 1a, 1b, 1 c or whatever.

Maybe go to the principal or teaching coach for the school and get the district guide on reading levels. They have it, otherwise they wouldn't be able to grade on it. GL!

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I personally would not be offended. She probably had a dozen plus thing to do and wanted to get back to you promptly. I am not really sure what kind of passages you want either and I agree with the teacher that your daughter should just keep reading books. (I highly recommend the book "How to Teach your child to read in 100 Easy Lessons". If you work with your daughter for just 15 minutes a day she could be reading at a 1st grade level in about 60 days.)(FYI.. I taught my daughter with this book at age 4.). Also, google "guided reading levels" for book at each grade level. You can then go to the library and get these books.
Also, in your note to the teacher, you are asking her to do additional work for your daughter and although you say you have been working with her you also state that you always seem to have some "play thing to do" and are not working with her as frequently as you would like. So perhaps the teacher thought she would not make finding passages a priority for herself if working with your daughter was not a priority for you.

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I was a school teacher for 15 years and I think her response to you was pretty useless. I agree that her quotations around passages is odd.

Here's my suggestion: go to a teacher store and find the langage arts/reading section. They will have instructional books that are grade level appropriate for first grade. You should be able to find some that have "passages" in them for your DD to practice. ; )

Also, here are a couple of links to websites that list grade leveled books. You can check some out at the library over the holidays.

http://home.comcast.net/~ngiansante/
http://lexile.com/findabook/ (this looks like a GREAT site)

FYI: many books have the reading level listed on the back lower corner or on the inside copyright page. It will say "RL" and then list a number. If it says RL 1.4 that means first grade fourth month, RL 2.7 would be second grade seventh month, etc...

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Hi - I think the teachers response was very rude. Here is what I did when my son was in first grade. Luckily I was not working at the time so I had extra time to spend on this. I volunteered at the school library and the librarian helped me pick books out for his level when he was in first grade. There were some books about a boy and his dog which my son loved. So every week I would try to get new books that would interest him at his level.
I also went to the public library and got some Dick and Jane books (yes the ones I learned on as a kid). They were a bit boring but were easier and really helped him get his confidence up. Also since my daughter who was 17 months younger listened every night it boosted her reading skills. Hope this helps! Good luck.

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I think the teacher's response is unacceptable and that your concerns need to be elevated to a higher level ( maybe the principal). You are your child's best advocate and the teacher frankly seems a bit lazy. I would not make excuses for her, but I would send her a strongly worded and pointed email again asking for an example and cc or bcc her higher up. She is being paid for a service and is not performing it. Good luck

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hey girl, i don't think i'd be pissy, but i can DEFINITELY see why that may have offended you a little. geez teacher - chill out! :)
but...she has lots of students & parents and just can't do very much one on one, even if it sounds simple to you or me, it's too much for her to do when she has a whole class.
i can relate to you and teacher. i'm not a teacher, but a social wrkr and my clients will ask me for specific stuff, and basically i'll have to say something to that same effect. i don't put exclamation marks on it though! :)
that was the part i was kinda offended by, not offended, but y'know what i mean. :) anyway, at least you know how this chic is and where she stands. let it be and i wouldn't really expect much more out of her re: help, suggestions, etc. just keep doing the best you can like you already are! :)

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I guess it depends on when you sent this note to her. If you sent it within the past couple of days then I think the teacher is perfectly fine in saying she can't find any passages before the holidays start. For us, they start tomorrow!! You can't expect her to take the week before a big break and go searching out things she can read.
She said she noticed an improvement, that what you are doing is working and to continue practicing. Then goes on to thank you for what you have been doing. I think this teacher sound pretty great.
(my son is in second grade, they do a you read/I read kind of thing. So, you would read a passage and have her follow along with you (maybe even with her finger) and then have her read the exact same passage back to you. They also do a "what I hear you reading is..." to work on comprehension. So, you read a passage and then she needs to summarize back to you what you read. Then she reads a passage and you summarize back to her what she read.)
Good luck, L.

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Hi Helen,
E-mails are hard to interpret but I really don't think she meant to be condescending, though I can see why you might feel that way. She probably just put it in quotes because it was the word you used and she wanted to be specific and all the exclamation points are probably in an effort to lighten the mood. Teachers are just people and can be weird like the rest of us :) Maybe she is a little uncomfortable, too, because knows you are very concerned. Try and focus on the end of the email where she says she has noticed an improvement. You are obviously doing a great job helping your daughter!

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Honestly, I would be annoyed at this response. I wouldn't get mad, but definitely would question the teacher's reading comprehension :P Her response sounds as if she thinks that you want her to prepare a holiday "lesson plan" for you rather than just showing you a few examples of texts that should be available in the classroom to give you an idea of what your daughter should be reading.

I suggest that next time you go in to volunteer, ask the teacher to point out the "grade level" books in the classroom, so that you can look at them to get a feel for the kind of books you can use for practice. She doesn't need to sit with you, just point you to the reading shelf (takes all of 30 seconds :D)

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Her response was rude and not very helpful to say the least. Any teacher should have been able to say something like - I find the Dick and Jane series of books or the xyz series of books to be helpful when trying to teach a child to read. Read with her X minutes every night, etc. To have no suggestion for you was just (in my opinion) pretty dumb.

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the important thing is not what the other kids are reading but finding your daughter's reading level and reading a lot of "just right" books and having her progress to more difficult books. If she can read the book and only struggle on five words per book, read at a reasonable pace not too too slow, then she will understand the story and enjoy reading. Go to the library, try REadingA-Z.com It would be great if the teacher would send home a few books on your daughter's level but it doesnt seem she is too helpful. Is there more to the story of her unfriendliness? did she feel your daughter should not be in first grade? or that your daughter takes up too much of her time? Your daughter is very young, is reading the only thing she is struggling with?

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I think the teacher misunderstood you and thought you were asking her for passages that your daughter can read to study. I would speak with her in person and clarify that you were looking for something that you could use to gage where your daughter is at. Maybe ask for the name of a book that your daughter should be able to read so that you have an idea of what is expected of her. That should take 2 seconds of your teachers time to think of a book she should be able to read so hopefully that'll get a better response. Good luck!

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The teacher certainly did not respond in the most tactful way and her letter does come across as curt in my opinion. It is probably because she is really busy, but some people just just don't have the best social skills so you kind of have to overlook their manner sometimes. I think teachers should make time for concerned parents though, even if they need to set an appointment to meet after the holidays. I can certainly understand your feelings about her response.
I think that you've gotten some great ides for finding appropriate level reading material for your daughter and I have no doubt that her reading will improve, but it will certainly be easier if she is more excited about reading. It is ok if your reading activities are more like play. I have always made reading like a game with my daughter and so she has always looked at it as something fun to do. We have all sorts of activity books that you can buy at the grocery store and she loves doing them. We do rhyming games; we have flash cards and make silly sentences; we have games that help with word recognition (Like Zingo); when she is reading sometimes I have her try to read a word and if she gets it right I make a loud bell sound and if she gets it wrong I make low buzzer sound. She loves it and it keeps her trying to get the bell sound. Also, try to find the sort of books that she really loves and will get excited about. You could find a subject that she is really interested in learning about, or it could be characters that she loves or a story with a mystery to it.

Best wishes!
B.

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My mother-in-law is a retired kindergarten teacher of 25 years...they are very overworked and very underpaid. While I don't think she had the best manners in the note, I don't think it's any reason to be upset. The last thing you want to do is strike any kind of bad note with your child's teacher, in my opinion. I do agree though, that if the note were sent to me, I would've had to read it a few times to grasp her tone. But like I said, certainly no reason to waste negative emotions over. It's the holidays and I'm finding that everyone is kind of in survival mode right now...and many people are literally scraping pennies to buy gifts this year. Everyone has bad days and bad moments, you may have caught her at a bad time. Happy Holidays!
L.

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Not sure what school district you are in but in Edgemont, the kids were definitely not supposed to be reading going into first grade. But oddly enough, they quickly ferreted out the kids who were having some trouble when they got into first grade and sent them to the school's reading specialist. My daughter (now in 2nd grade) is a very good reader at this point. But it wasn't until about this time in 1st grade that she really could read well, i.e., she didn't come into first grade with great reading skills... she could read some words, but it didn't all come together until 1st grade. And, as I said, my daughter seems to be on the high end of the reading spectrum.

I'm surprised she is telling you there is a problem and then not really offering to help. I know teachers are busy with about 20 other kids too, but still... is there a reading tutor or helper in your school? I do agree with one thing the teacher said: just keep reading. Get some of those early reader books. Start with Level 1 and work on those for a while. It may be frustrating, but one day, it should just "clikc" for your daughter and then she'll progress quickly.

Good luck!

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This isn't an answer to your question about the teacher, but some ideas about books. If you go onto the scholastic website it will give you an idea of books that are appropriate for a first grader. My son is 6 and in first grade, he reads books like Nate the Great, Henry and Mudge, Skippy Jon Jones, Geronimo Stilton, Bad Kitty. He started getting better by reading ALOT, over the summer I gave a reward for every 50 books he read. He started with books like Biscuit, The Little Critter books, the Bear books.

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I can see why you would be frustrated that you didn't receive the response you were looking for. However, I don't think there's anything to be mad about.

Each child learns to read at their own pace. If Mary knows all her site words and can recognize them in text within a book, she's doing fine. My daughter, like yours, was one of the youngest in her class and didn't know all her site words until the end of first grade. She continued to struggle up until 3rd grade and it finally clicked. Now she loves reading, she takes accelerated and honors English classes throughout middle and high school and has all A's.

The teacher is right about practice, practice, practice. The more time Mary spends reading, and the more time you spend reading to her, the quicker she'll improve.

My suggestion would be to take her to the library over vacation and let Mary pick out a selection of books. Some that she can read to you, and a few that you can read to her.

You'd be very surprised to learn how important it is to just read to her. If you're reading a simple book, point to the words as you read them. She'll begin to recognize and memorize some of them. Also, when reading a new book to her work on comprehension. Ask her questions, like what do you think will happen next?. Try to have her make a personal connection to the book. At the end of the book, ask her if she'd liked it, why or why not? Ask Mary what her favorite part was.

I'm trying to think of some recommendations, the only thing that comes to mind right now is Brown Bear by Eric Carle.

Don't stress. Just have fun!

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No, don't be mad. This is a busy time of year for both families and teachers. I'd just let that whole "passages" comment go. My oldest daughter was also very young in her class. She did not read at all in kindergarten. She struggled with reading in first grade. First grade has a VERY wide range of reading abilities. Me getting frustrated with her was causing her to get more frustrated with learning to read. Her teacher told me to to just give her a break from reading to me, and that I should just read to her at home instead. And to be more patient with her. She was working hard in school. By the end of the year she was at 1st grade level. In grades 2-4, she started the years at grade level, and in spring would jump above one level. In 5th grade she started and ended the year above grade level. I don't know if it was because she was younger, or not, but she caught onto reading when she was ready for it.

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Hi, I really didn't know kids that were 5 turning 6could be in first grade...now I know. In all the school districts I have been in the kids have to be a full 5 years old to start kindergarten so they would already be 6 before first grade started. I guess it makes sense to me that they have to be a full 5 before starting school so that they are 5-6 in Kindergarten, 6-7 in first grade, 7-8 in second etc...so that they are 17-18 as a senior in high school.

There should be a list/pages of sight words the kids should know by Christmas then another list for after. I think ours in always accessible through the school homepage under the teachers name. She should be reading level 1 books, you can find them at book stores like Hastings, Amazon, etc...they are usually comprised of the same words the kids are learning at first grade.

I find them to be a variety of books that the kids find interesting. The last one I bought was the story of Barbie and the Flairies. They are in Wal-Mart on an end counter of the books area. They have Cars, Disney Princesses, Dora, etc...all kinds of books. They have the number 1 on the spine, level 2 has a 2 on the spine and so forth. As the numbers go higher the words are more complex and the sentence structure is more difficult. Plus the higher level books have less pictures and more words.

At grade level means that she can do the work that is expected of her and her peers. To me, giving examples of this would be very hard for someone. If it is expected that a child can sight read 300 words from a list to pass proficiency then I would look to see if I can find those word lists somewhere.

They won't let her pass if she can't meet the minimal reading levels.

Here is a list of books by levels. It covers K and up past 6th grade.
http://home.comcast.net/~ngiansante/

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In my opinion the teacher is not being very helpful. At our school the teachers have a sight word list that the students should know and if they know those words then they will have an easier time with reading. The best way I have found to help my children read is for me to read one page and them to read the next and so on. Also, schools don't teach phonics anymore so work with your daughter on the sounds of the letters and teach her how to sound out words. You can get books from a book store to help with that. Read books that are easy for her to read like Dr. Seuss and then step up to harder reading. Good Luck!!

I wouldnt be mad at the teacher. her response was fine.

does your daughter have a reading book?/ can she bring it home so you can see what they are reading in class. search online.. google "first grade reading level" or somthing like that.. go to the library talk tothe librarian.. I know that I have seen books at the library.. level 1 level 2 reading..

I wouldn't be mad at the teacher. If you look on Barnes and Noble's website, you can search children's books by age range. You can also ask a local librarian for assistance in helping you find books for 1st graders. It sounds like your daughter is improving, so keep up the good work!

Hi H.,

I think the teacher was probably very busy when she emailed you and wrote you very quickly. It looked to me that she probably uses those kinds of punctuations in her regular writing. So please try not to take offense - perhaps it would be better if you two don't email each other, but talk instead.

I would go to the school library and ask the librarian to point out first grade books for you to check out for your daughter. Elementary school librarians LOVE to help with this! It is true that she should read as much as possible. I would limit the playdates for a little while until she catches up. If your school has a reading specialist, I would make an appointment with her and ask if she can give you a word list for first graders. I remember working with my son's class testing them on reading outside of the class, and I had a list for each quarter.

Hope this helps,
D.

Go to the librarian at your daughter's school...bet she could help you select some books at grade level. I suggest getting a couple just below grade level too. Reading those will help her confidence and reinforce what she already knows, then move up to grade level.

Then, a librarian at your local library can help you find similiar ones (bigger selection than the school's library).

Good luck.

I think you read more into this than what the teacher responded to. Also you requested something that the teacher did not have time to do..

Goo to the library this winter break and let your daughter pick out books she is interested in. Come home and you read one line and then let her read one line.. Let her use a piece of paper or a ruler to guide her sight.

Then go to a teacher store and let them know you have a struggling 1st grade reader and you need a work book for you to help tutor your daughter..

She will catch on to the reading the more time and success she has.. Also children can really show maturity when you have her help with cooking.. Let her call out the recipe.. Have her write the grocery list and then call it out to you at the grocery store.. When gift wrapping, let your daughter fill out the gift tags.. Let her get the mail and read to you who they are from and who they are to.

Purchase a subscription to a childrens magazine and let her read it to you.. Check them out at a book store to see which ones look appropriate for her..

I don't know why you would be mad at her. Is it because she was honest and told you she did not have the time to find passages for your child to read? She could have just hurried and put anything together for you but she didn't. You admitted you don't have as much time as you would like to read with your child because of some play thing...should the teacher be mad at you? She told you she's seen improvement, that's great! She told you whatever you are doing seems to be working, that's great! She thanked you for working with her. That was nice since it is the parents job along with the teacher to teach our children. Read with your child everyday. You will see tons of improvement. Take her to the library and let her pick out books she's interested. The reading level is on the back of many children books these days. I love Dick and Jane. I have used it to teach preschoolers to read. Your daughter made be pass this level though. Does your school send home Scholastic book orders? If so sit down with your child and order some books. Kids love it! From the sounds of it you are on the right track just keep it up. :)

I do not think her response was obnoxious. She is saying, yes she has
seen some improvement, so keep up what you are doing. Anything she
can read is fine.

No, I don't think you should be mad at her teacher. The teacher is right. Have your daughter read books that are at her level. I know you want an example, but the best examples you can get are from books!

Does your daughter have a reading list? If not, I think you should check the school's website or talk to your local librarian (or even the school librarian) and get a list of books that are 1st grade level. Go to the library and check out a few to read over break.

In our grade schools, the levels of books are color coded so kids know which color they should pick. Younger kids get a list of level-appropriate books. On the school's website, parents can also access this list to see what our children are reading.

Most teachers are pretty harried this time of year. They have to cram in all their requirements plus make time for parties, concerts and what not. I would cut the teacher some slack. Get a book list, pick some books and have some fun with your daughter reading!

Good luck!