Should a Nursing Mother Ask Permission to Breastfeed in Front of You?

"Here, please put this blanket over your head if it bothers you."

Asking permission? What am I, 4 years old? Don't like it, don't watch. I can't imagine anyone I know wanting me to ask them permission, that's ridiculous.

(I am no longer breastfeeding any of my children, but I logged in 111 months of doing so.)

eta
I am so sorry so many of you have such delicate sensibilities that the very sight! of another woman's breast causes you to get into such a tizzy. You poor things! Having to put up with such embarrassing awkwardness! I'm pretty sure there is medication for that. My babies would.not.be.covered. Did any of you ever think to avert your eyes? I guess it's just more fun? easier? to complain about us not being "modest enough" for the rest of you. You make me want to walk around topless all the time and watch you faint at the sight. Geez, what is this, 1850?

14 moms found this helpful

If they're just going to bare it all, then I'd like fair warning. If they're going to cover up with a nursing cover or blanket or something similar, I don't give a hoot.

12 moms found this helpful

No. A mother should never, ever have to ask permission to feed her child, anytime, anyplace or in front of anyone.

12 moms found this helpful

No, she should feed her baby anytime, anyplace.

It is ok to be modest, and if you are you can certainly excuse yourself until the feeding is over. Your modesty is not relevant to a hungry baby and is not the problem of a nursing mom.

The presence of children would not change my answer in the slightest. Kids should see breastfeeding for what it is, a perfectly normal way to feed an infant.

9 moms found this helpful

Absolutely not, and my answer would even be stronger if there were children present. They need to know that this is completely normal, natural and definitely not something to be ashamed of.

My youngest had swallowing issues and needed to be bottle fed. My nieces and nephew saw me pumping because I did want to give him as much breast milk as possible. They were fascinated and asked many questions. Good for them!

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I managed to BF all the time without flashing anyone.
As long as you're doing it without a performing a peep show, I don't see a problem.
Of course, some people were still obviously a bit uncomfortable, knowing what I was doing (I still don't get that, if you can't see my boob why are you bothered knowing that it's there, don't we all have them?)
To answer your question, I don't see a need to ask permission, only a need for the nursing mother to be discreet and for the (possibly) offended party to avert their eyes and/or excuse themselves if they feel overwhelmed.

9 moms found this helpful

I would never ask another woman. How odd. I did however always tell my male members that I was going to nurse so they could walk away if they wanted to. Why would having my own kids around matter?because they might see a quick flash of a nipple? Would not bother me. I think kids should see it's healthy and loving for a child to be nursed.

9 moms found this helpful

Nope. Any more than a bottle feeding mother should ask permission to bottle feed in front of me. No - I would rather my son (6-1/2) see a woman using her breasts to feed her child than see them plastered up on some billboard (that no one asks my permission to set up).

9 moms found this helpful

Hell to the No! And no it wouldn't matter if my kids were there-they see me nurse all the time, do kids have to ask if it's ok to eat in front of you? Nope-neither should my baby:) I always cover up if I am not nursing in my own own home.
I don't take your question to mean you are against breast feeding btw.

9 moms found this helpful

I would never ask a stranger, let alone a friend, if it was okay for me to feed my child. She's 2 and a half, I'm STILL nursing, and no, I would NOT feel the need to ask permission.

Do you have to ask permission of someone before giving your baby a bottle? Same thing.

Now, to be fair, I am discreet. I cover myself. I have had plenty of children come up to me in public places (library, zoo, wherever I was at with my family and other child, etc) and ask what my child was doing under the blanket. I just said, "She's having her lunch. She likes to be in a tent." Or something to that effect. Most mothers were acceptable, but I remember one mother who literally, physically DRAGGED her maybe four year old son away from me when he approached me...at an aquarium full of mothers and children. I thought that was a little bit overkill...I mean, I was sitting, nursing my child and we were both completely draped with a blanket.

Nothing to see here, moving on.

Are you for real? Do you want mothers to ask your permission before they feed their children? (Don't know where you stand on this, because you don't say...so not trying to attack you, just wondering.) The way I figure it, God didn't die and make some other mother God.

8 moms found this helpful

It doesn't bother me at all. I usually feel bad if a mom feels like she has to cover up or go somewhere else.

8 moms found this helpful

Nope and nope. If you are modest all you need to do is not to TRY to catch a peek of breast. I don't think I have EVER seen any more skin from a breastfeeding mom than I see every day from women wearing low cut shirts. Should these women ask for permission to wear these shirts as well?
I think (hopefully) we have left those times behind.

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Well, considering that I do not at ALL think that it is immodest to nurse, I would think it weird if someone asked me if they could feed their baby. It's not like a bottle feeder (which I was with one of my kids) would say, "Oh, do you mind if I feed Jonny?" Nope...couldn't care less how you feed your kid.
My answer would not change at ALL if my kids were with me. They know what breastfeeding is.
Laura

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Permission? No. A courteous "FYI" would be nice, and the utmost discretion is really appreciated.

I nursed & was too modest to do it in front of people. I get it if you want to do it in front of people, but the vigilante attitude coming off of some nursing moms is really what's preventing it from being widely accepted by society. Comparing eating food & nursing is also very comical to me. One requires a boob, a very personal & private body part & one does not.

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No she is feeding her baby. She is not engaging in a sex act. A mother should not need permission to feed her baby. I believe in breastfeeding anytime anywhere. But yes, the mother should be modest about it.

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Discreet breastfeeding - absolutely no problem even if my daughter is with me (at any age). She has always understood that some babies are fed like that (she was bf for a short time after she was born). I wouldn't even have a problem with this if my DH was with me, but PLEASE Moms - we really don't want/need to see your breasts or any part thereof.

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and if they did ask permission, what if someone said no? Let baby go hungry? We all know that ain't happening. If you think it through asking permission to BF is just silly. One may want to announce, "I'm going to feed the baby", so other people can relocate if they are uncomfortable. As a house guest maybe a mother could say," i need to feed my baby where is a good place for me to do that?" I don't see why not anytime anyplace if you use a cover or have worn clothing that allows you to be discreet . But permission? please.

That said, when I was in my own home and my father or FIL were around I'd yell "I'm whipping out my boobs!" They knew to make themselves scarce, or divert their eyes.
My sister warned loudly once "Boobs!" to which my BIL took as a signal and looked right at them. He said Ahhhh! Next time say "sister boobs"! So now before we whip them out around BILs we yell "sister boob!". No one leaves the room or feels the need to, but they know to divert their eyes until baby latches.

7 moms found this helpful

A mom should breastfeed where ever she feels comfortable! And if that means telling the person you are with - hey I am going to breastfeed now so if that makes you uncomfortable come back in X amount of minutes is perfectly fine. I think it should be whatever the mom is comfortable with.
If there is a person that is uncomfortable (for whatever reason) they can walk away and do something else for a while. No one has to make a big deal of it.

7 moms found this helpful

I don't think anyone should feel they have to ask me for permission. Though it would be polite to be informed if the child is breastfed and if it will be needed to be fed or not.

I believe in being polite and courteous. I also believe in discretion and modesty. If it can be done with all those in mind, then I have no problem.

I also believe that the NEED to feed an infant out weights the DESIRE to feed a toddler. I do not believe it is the same and that the same "rights" should be applied.

I did breastfeed, my daughter self weaned at 6 months, I would have happily let her feed until her first teeth came in.

ETA: Ditto to everything Amy said.

7 moms found this helpful

No. I won't ask anyone for permission to feed my baby. I won't be forced into hiding or made to feel ashamed. I won't make my baby eat in a toilet cubicle either. I fed my babies when and where they needed it. Including church, malls, and work.

ETA - my children have seen babies and each other breast fed. It is just a non-issue to them.

7 moms found this helpful

No, she doesn't need to ask me to feed her baby in front of me. My mom friends and I are pretty loosey-goosey about it. I just could care less, personally.
However, someone who did nurse in front of me probably knows me and knows that I nursed for nearly three years.

And I was always somewhat aware of who I 'asked first' with and who I just nursed around. More modest folk, when I visited, I'd just say "Oh, I need to nurse Kiddo. Is there any place you would prefer me to use?" this gives them the comfort and options they need. But ultimately, it's feeding, so I didn't make any more of it than need be.

That said, I was always a discreet nurser. (Not a whip-out-the-boobie kind of nurser.) and no, if my son were present, it wouldn't make a difference. To me, it's better he learn early on that breasts make milk first and foremost.

6 moms found this helpful

No. If she doesn't need my permission to feed her toddler a cheeseburger or her infant a bottle, she certainly doesn't need my permission to breastfeed her baby. Plenty of women breastfed their babies in my daughter's presence, some covered, some not, and it didn't scar her for life.

As for your SWH: It doesn't matter a fiddler's fart to me what the venue is. Babies get fed when and where babies are hungry.

6 moms found this helpful

I breast fed my son for 6 weeks in front of my grandparent's, parents, aunts & uncles, cousins, in-laws, and family friends and only ONE person (Besides my husband and son) ever saw any part of my breast. I was breast-feeding him on the couch and my cousin's grandma (Who is from Italy and doesn't speak English) came over and pulled the blanket back (Without asking my permission) so that she could sneak a peak at my son. Lol. Normally I would care, but she is such a sweet old lady and I love her to pieces so I just let it go. She's 90. She's a mother. She's seen it before. Lol. Anyways, not a single person in my very conservative family got uncomfortable (Not even my soon to be 90 year old grandpa!).

So no, a breast-feeding mother should not have to ask. It's not like the other person is going to actually see anything.

6 moms found this helpful

I breastfed anywhere, anytime, no matter who was around.

I would cover myself completely with a blanket/apron thing (it snaps around my shoulders so I don't have to worry about it moving), then I would reach under my shirt, unsnap my bra, then take the baby under the blanket and have her latch on. And no, I would never ask if I could breastfeed.

Let me ask this (as a counterpoint): Would you ask if you can take a drink of a water that you brought with you?

6 moms found this helpful

Short easy answer. NO!

Longer answer. Never once have I asked permission to feed my child, which is what I am doing when I am breastfeeding.
I am not being immodest feeding my child the way nature intended.
I have never felt the need to unbutton my shirt and bare my chest to nurse either like people seem to think all breastfeeding women automatically do. For the record I don't even own a button down shirt.
I have yet to meet a women that wants to be an exhibitionist while nursing. This is never their intent. And, not using a cover does not make you an exhibitionist.
The only time I have ever asked was when there was no where safe nearby for me to sit or not be in the middle of the walkway or something and I will ask if it's OK to be in an area that I might not be allowed in otherwise.

ETA: It would not matter one bit to me if my children were there at all. They see me nursing, they see friends and family, they see strangers. To them it is just what you do to feed a baby. In fact, my kids thought it was completely strange to see a BOTTLE feeding a baby. How do you explain THAT to a child? I'm serious. When my kids were little they asked me why that mama wasn't nursing. They've asked why mothers have used those big covers and blankets too. So I guess that tells you our attitude on nursing anywhere and everywhere ;)

6 moms found this helpful

No. I wouldn't expect a bottle-feeding mother to ask permission. I've nursed 2 children and done it in front of many friends and family members. I was just really upfront about it. 'I breastfeed.' Everyone knows it. This saves me from having to explain it all the time. If my daughter is hungry anyone I'm around knows I will nurse her then and there. But I also cover up unless I'm at home. And if I have guests I cover up as well. But honestly, if anyone ever told me I needed their permission to feed my own child in front of them I doubt I would ever visit them again.

6 moms found this helpful

When I breastfed my son I never did ask anyone who was around if it was ok. I just made sure I had a blanket to cover myself up and just went on with feeding my son. If I saw a mom nursing their child I wouldn't think anything different of it. My son knows that he was breastfed and he knows that it is good for babies. So it wouldn't bother me at all if someone started to breastfeed their child. Heck, one of our friends started to nurse her son while we were out to lunch but she was covered up the whole time.

6 moms found this helpful

I agree with Mum4ever...don't need to ask...informing is good.
When I nursed my kids if I was around family, I just nursed them. If I was around friends that I thought might be uncomfortable if I just started nursing..then I would tell them what I'm doing and everything was covered and it was not awkard. Of course most of my friends nursed too so no big deal. My kids have seen many of my friends nurse their babies and even "nurse" their own baby dolls. It is natural and normal and I am happy that they are living in a world (at least our own little world) where it is an acceptable normal thing :)

5 moms found this helpful

Heck no.

I always fed my babies on demand no matter where we were. If they needed to eat and I was out at dinner, I'd grab a blanket and feed them. Nothing wrong with it at all and I'd never ask permission.

5 moms found this helpful

of course not! Why would anyone have to ask permission to feed their baby? If someone is modest, there are ways to do it with out just whipping it out and showing it all.

5 moms found this helpful

Well, people didn't ask me if they could wear tops that showed much more than cleavage. Why should they have to ask to feed their baby which is the main purpose of the breasts, main I repeat. My children sat by me when I fed their brothers/sisters. I was modest but feel having to ask to feed a baby and go in back rooms, and cover the baby until it's suffocating is not the way it should be.

5 moms found this helpful

I dont think you should ASK. You might say "I'm setting up to nurse, just so you know what I'm doing..." That helps to notifiy the people that have been briefed to think nursing is a bad thing so they don't get all shocked and have an anxiety attack.. they can walk away at that time if they feel the need.
I'm an anytime -anyplace fan of nursing. That's what I did.

5 moms found this helpful

Ask: NO
Inform: YES

Like, Oh, it's time to feed the baby or nurse the baby. In my own home I would not cover, but probably go and lay down anywhoo. In public I would cover with a light blanket - most of the time. I tended to wear looser fitting, comfy, stretchy tops that could be easily pulled up and brought right down to the babies mouth, so nothing showed... at least from my angle.

4 moms found this helpful

No. There's so much at play. I think that nursing mothers should be respectful of others, but to ask permission? Her child needs to be fed. Why should she have to ask permission to do so? I always tried to be respectful and not everybody can use or wants to use a cover but I've honestly never encountered the woman who bared all among all my nursing mom friends or anybody I've seen out and about.

I nursed DD til 2.5 and though we were mostly not nursing in public past a year, I never asked anybody's permission to feed my child or made any big announcement. I actually had a guy on a bus in Bermuda ask if I wanted his jacket if my child was hungry and I was concerned about nursing her in public.

4 moms found this helpful

I would ask in another person's home (I would also immediately grant permission in my own home / not be offended in the slightest if permission wasn't asked for).

I typically don't worry about OTHER people's expectations of modesty beyond what is required by law when in PUBLIC. Afterall... I walk around with my hair uncovered, and my thighs exposed (shorts) all the time in this country. Both of which are so immodest in other countries that they are punishable by law.

((I do, however, ask and follow modesty rules in specific enviornments. Like in my grandmother's church, I always covered my hair, but not in my brother's church. I LIVE in flip flops... but wear closed toe shoes at my son's school, etc. When I am aware of differing rules, to the best of my knowledge and ability, I try to follow them. Which, by the by, is why I ask in other people's homes... but never in public.))

___

As an aside I LOVE this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgmbJso-2-o&feature=pl...

4 moms found this helpful

No, but as someone who breastfed till my son was 2.5 years old, exercising modesty when BFing in front of others is only polite. One doesn't need to flash one's company to feed one's child (LOL).

I only have one child, but I wouldn't be embarrassed at all to BF in front of my children. And unless one was flashing while BFing, the kids that were around probably wouldn't notice what was going on because I was being modest. If they did, I'd explain what was happening.

ADD - after looking at the LUV's BFing commercial link, I have to ask about the fully exposed breast BFing thing - I was able to find tops to nurse in that I wore over nursing camisols, so I kept things covered from the top down. I can't wrap my head around having my entire breast exposed in public. And I BF'd everywhere, park benches, restaurants, baseball game, etc. I could even do this WITHOUT a nursing cover once I was a "pro" at BFing. And with the fashions out there, it doesn't seem necessary to flash the world... am I missing something or a prude? Thanks!!

4 moms found this helpful

You know I see some women sitting out in the public (for ex in busy areas like the airport) and breastfeeding without covering up. I know it's good for the baby, but cover up people! I can understand not wanting to feed in a restroom(maybe dirty, noisy etc) but you get so many nursing cover ups or even a large towel would do! I think modesty should be there even while nursing your baby. Sadly many women think it's ok to fluant your boobs while nursing! Seriously, it's ok for you but SO VERY AWKWARD for people around. I have nothing against breastfeeding(did it for almost 2 years) but it was always private moments with my son. Even when I had to nurse in public places , I would always go to places with a baby room. Except for when I flew with him few times at that age, I bought large blanket to cover up.

Edited : to the person above you says if someone is uncomfortable they can leave? really? You think you own the public places ?? People want to have a good time and you are spoiling it for them because they don;t know where to look. It's not right to look, so why not just cover up and leave the public alone. I don;t know why some people think it's ok for them to do what they want (even if it's socially uncomfortable for others) and the world should adjust to them. Sad!

4 moms found this helpful

I feel I was breastfeeding I would not ask anyone's permission. If I am hungry I am not going to ask permission if I can eat in front of anyone. I also would have a light cover up. If someone is uncomfortable they can leave.

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A mother should do what comes naturally for her and breastfeed pretty much where ever needed. That said it doesn't mean flipping out your boob. There are ways to be discreet and if the baby is older and fussy then go some where private if possible.

I've breastfed and people didn't even know I was doing it. For most people getting this slight of hand with it all takes some practice. It wasn't till I had my fourth that I got that good, but then I nursed her the longest.

It's a good idea to get the baby use to a light blanket being over them each time you nurse, so they aren't pulling it off. The covers that are out now days make a big difference too.

As for children being around, well it shouldn't matter. It's adults that make it into a nasty thing or sexual thing not a child. They may be curious but they aren't putting judgements on it. We are human animals and mean to suckle our off spring and this is something every child should learn in a gentle and positive way.

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I thinknthatbwould be a nice gesture. Some folks just are not comfortable sitting with someone who is breast feeding.

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I don't think anyone should ask permission but a forewarning is needed.

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I think a little warning would be nice. Give the person the opportunity to leave if they feel uncomfortable with it. There was NO way to be discreet when whipping out my nursing 36Js. It took two hands and a nursing pillow to roll one just one breast out of my giant orthopedic nursing bra. It definitely would be way too much for a child to see- I don't care how granola someone is about it.

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No, a nursing mother shouldn't ask permission to feed her own baby. She has every right to feed her baby as needed in all of the same places a bottle fed baby is fed. The majority of breastfeeding is "discreet" and "modest." Most mothers who breastfeed don't "whip it out."

Why do people assume that those of us who have breastfed (and breastfeed) have a default setting to whipping out our breasts and flashing them at people, that we're not modest about our bodies? Toddler, infant, or newborn, if that child is breastfed and the mother feeds on demand then it seriously is the issue of the people surrounding them. If there are other people's children around, then it's a wonderful teaching moment.

When other people are nursing, I'm perfectly fine having my children around. It's normal. It's more normal than other ways to feed a baby. Is it awesome that there are other options? Yes. Of course. I was grateful to have those options when breastfeeding was no longer working for us. Anyway.

*For the record, my youngest is 7 years old and so no, I'm not still breastfeeding. :-)

EDIT: I just saw the SWH. I guess we were typing at the same time. The woman suggesting the bathroom was hideously rude. I doubt that she would have enjoyed taking her plate and glass of wine into the bathroom to eat HER dinner.

3 moms found this helpful

I think it depends where you are and what the relationship is. Personally I always said something to those around me just in case they were Awkward about it.

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No, she should not have to ask permission. All the women I know are very modest when they breastfeed anyways and do not wish to flash anyone. You'd have to be staring directly at the breast to see even a little skin. You can pretty much tell when they are going to latch a baby on, as well, so you can just not stare directly at the breasts if you are uncomfortable. As society we have come a long way, but still have a ways to go to realize this is the natural way to feed babies and we shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

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My husband and I know a guy from high school,our friend. His girlfriend had a baby about a month or so before. We were visiting them at their house talking while her kids and our kids were playing in the other room. The baby started crying. She went and got the baby,sat back on the sofa and breastfed her baby in front of my husband and I. She had a blanket thrown over the baby so you didn't see anything. I didn't see nothing wrong with it. She acted normal talking to us and her boyfriend. My husband kinda felt weird by it.lol. He couldn't look at her that much while she was talking to us.

2 moms found this helpful

No, she shouldn't have to ask. Just let her know that it is time to feed baby and is there a quiet place nearby. If you are wearing a pull over stretchy shirt you could pull up but baby covers you or you could turn your back toward the public for a bit and nurse. I did this many times and when someone came by I would say "feeding time at the zoo." And they would say okay and walk away.

Whatever the comfort zone and all should be fine.

The other S.

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not at all. it wouldn't bother me and who the hell am i do be asked such a question? if i don't like seeing someone with a boob out feeding their child, i should move my butt and find another place.
i don't agree with breastfeeding at a workplace though. not for me personally, but i think 'men' would be freaked out and never look at the boob the same way. what a tragedy!!!

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NO. No. NO. and NO. I am fully supportive of any place, any time, any event, with anyone. I feel that a woman should be able to breastfeed freely in anyone's presence. I am not saying that she flaunt it and flash everyone her breasts etc, but she should be able to do so whenever her baby is hungry. I get quite offended when people have asked me to go feed in the bathroom. Who wants to eat dinner on the toilet??? I keep myself covered where I am NOT exposing anything to anyone and I refuse to put a blanket over my child's head---I strategically place my arms and shirt etc in all the right places. :) My answer is still the same, my kids see me feed all the time and its natural and the way God intended. I am a modest mom and I breastfeed whenever and wherever and I do it discreetly. I however have no problem with mothers who completely expose themselves--- I just prefer not to myself.

A few questions to think about for those who say Yes:
Would you expect a bottlefeeding mom to ask permission before she feeds her baby?
Would you ask her to go to the bathroom to feed her baby?
Would you say its gross/disgusting/weird to bottlefeed her baby?

If the answer is no, it should be the same for a breastfeeding mom.

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Asking implies she needs permission. No one needs to ask ME if it's OK to feed their baby. What's the back story to your question? Do you think a Mom should ask people around her if it's OK to nurse in front of them? Just curious.

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I think it is polite for her to ask,

personally i always felt both the kids and i enjoyed bf best when there were no distractions.

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I will admit that I am not comfortable around this. I don't need to be asked necessarily -I would definitely walk away though. I would hope that the mother would understand. I absolutely think that a male and a mother with children should be made aware of this BEFORE it starts.

1 mom found this helpful

I understand your feelings on the matter (from reading your rules of engagement ...)

Here's my question. Would you say no? If you would, then what is she supposed to do - let her child go hungry?

I think that a lot depends on the age of the child and the circumstances as to where you both are. I think the burden is mostly on the mother to try to nurse with consideration to those around her. However, I don't think that means she should have to ask for permission. And I would never have asked for permission myself.

Nursing a toddler is not the same as nursing a baby. A toddler can wait and should be told to wait when they are in public.

That being said, I was careful to cover myself so that I wasn't hanging out for all to see. Having a woman I don't know whip it out without even trying to be modest bothers me, especially when she exposes both her breasts as if she is alone. That is beyond necessarily and I think women like that are just poking people in the eye about breastfeeding, pure and simple.

So, my answer to your question is no, nursing mothers should not have to ask you for permission to breastfeed. However, they should be modest about it.

D.

1 mom found this helpful

Let me begin by saying I breastfed my son until 17 months, and I'm currently still breastfeeding my almost-2-year-old daughter.

The only situations where I think breastfeeding would be a bad idea, are all situations where you should probably just get a sitter. What comes to mind are formal get-togethers with employers, clients, coworkers, etc. For example, when I go to a party at the home of my husband's boss, I would not breastfeed in front of them unless I knew ahead of time they were cool with it, BUT this type of situation, bringing kids would usually be frowned on anyway. Or if I have an event with potential clients, I would not breastfeed in front of them because it might be off-putting and I wouldn't want to lose business just to prove a point. But again, why would I bring my kids to that type of event?

Overall, I can't think of a single situation when you are somewhere that is acceptable to be with your kids, that should not be okay to breastfeed. Lunch at a friend's house? If they invited your kid, they should know that feeding & diaper changes are going to happen whether they like it or not. Staying with the in-laws? This is how I feel your grandchild, deal with it. Playground at the mall? Would you rather listen to my kid scream? Didn't think so.

I used to think that older kids should be protected from seeing breastfeeding, but I don't feel that way anymore. My son is almost 5 years old and I'm becoming super-aware of all the images of boobs that are EVERYWHERE. We can't even walk through a department store without seeing boobs being used for selling just about everything. So I'm more than alright with him seeing what boobs are built for.

Also regarding older kids, in my experience, unless they have a younger sibling who is breastfeeding, or remember breastfeeding themselves, they generally don't notice.

1 mom found this helpful

"Should a nursing mother ask permission to breastfeed in front of you?" Yes.

That said-were she to cover with respect to the children-you should say yes, as well.

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They don't need to ask, but it would only bother me if they were not modest. It's really not that hard to throw on an Udder Cover/shawl/blanket, or whatever while nursing.

1 mom found this helpful

Breastfeeding does not both me at all. I always asked and most moms I know do ask if it is okay. I just hope most moms use good judgement. There are definitely places where I would not breastfeed (like in the school cafeteria when you're having lunch with your older child).

My kids know what breastfeeding is, so my answer would not change if they were present.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't think she should ask, but I don't want her to do it either. I nursed, have nothing against it, I just don't want to see it.

1 mom found this helpful

Based on your SWH... that was inappropriate for multiple reasons. The first being that a black tie charity event is NO PLACE for a newborn. That baby should not have been there. Were there other children? Probably not. Those parents knew they needed a sitter or mom should have stayed home.

As for the breastfeeding piece.. that only made it worse. In all situations, know your crowd. Attending an evening event where people are spending a significant amount of money and wearing evening gowns where children are clearly not welcome means that you need to be conscious of your actions.

In this case, the mother was out-of-line. I had a mother breast feed in the middle of volunteering in a Kindergarten classroom. The teacher buzzed the office and I asked her to please come to the privacy of the psychologist's office to feed the baby. That was NOT something that I wanted to explain to the 20 Kindergarten students and frankly didn't want to spend all night at on the phone with their parents.

Bad call on her part. She could have easily gone to the restroom if for some reason should couldn't stay home. At minimum, she could have gone outside of the dining room. She tried to make some obscure point, I'm sure. In the end she simply embarassed her husband and made the donors uncomfortable. Very unwise on their part.

No, she doesn't need to ask permission, but the bigger issue here is that the newborn shouldn't have been there in the first place.

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This is one of those topics that is black or white. As a baby nurse, I am all for breast feeding, but I am forced to look at the reality of the situation, when it comes to other people. Society has somewhat associated breast feeding with shame and that mothers should mind where they do it. You breast feed your baby when and where necessary. Advise people you are with, what you are about to do, so they don't get offended. You can drape a blanket over you or you can go into the bathroom, as some of them now fascilitate breast feeding. Some malls even have a "family" restroom, with gliders for mom and baby's comfort.

NO, should a mother who bottle feeds (like i did) ask permission to feed her baby? NO, granted some people are more privite others just whip it out and do it, while i was pregnant with our daughter her dads family didnt know and at xmas dinner his aunt whipped out her boob and fed her son while we ate dinner, that was the FIRST time i have ever been put into that situation

Yes. A nursing mother should always ask if breastfeeding in someone's presence is okay, regardless of ages of anyone. AND, if someone objects, she should remove herself and baby to a more private location. No, I am not against breastfeeding either, but I am in favor of simple courtesy,.

I can see how the venue might play a role in how a breastfeeding situation plays out. But no, permission is not necessary. I am guessing infants at black tie events are probably rare, which makes it that much harder...eyes are already on her and the baby regardless of her infant feeding preferences. Experienced breast feeding mothers can nurse without anyone noticing. If the mother brought attention to it in any way then clearly she was comfortable with it and the other people were the ones with a problem.

If you were going to nurse during a meal, I think asking if she minds is a thoughtful/nice thing to do. Some people might not want to watch someone breastfeed while they eat, more so than just if you were hanging out.

Personally, I almost always used a nursing cover, so I had no problem doing it in front of others and didn't ever have anyone feel awkward or uncomfortable when I did because I was covered.

As a presently nursing mother, I dont ask permission, but I usually warn people. At a birthday party my older dd was invited to, the mom let me know I could use her bedroom if I needed to nurse, I said I would just nurse outside so I could keep an eye on my older one, as long as that was ok with her, she said of course, no big deal, so I guess I asked her. If I am making plans with another mom for a playdate, I usually warn them, but most people Im friendly with know I have a nursling. If kids are around, I try to be discreet, mainly bc I dont want them all over me trying so get a look at what breastfeeding looks like, which is what younger ones usually do. My friends dd is super curious and whipped off my nursing cover once, lol.