Should a Father Who Is $30,000 Behind in Child Support Have More Kids?

I don't think anyone can afford to have more kids. I also dont think it's anyone elses call whether they do or not. Do you owe anyone money? Mortgage Company? Student Loans? Do they get a say in whether you have nore kids or not?
I'm sorry for your frustration. There are so many family dynamics at play here and I'm sure money is only one part of your frustration. Just do the best you can for your kids and hold his feet to the fire to do his part. But remember that when he does have another child, that will be your childs brother or sister and they will love each other and always have a bond. Be careful not to hold resentment toward the new sibling.

7 moms found this helpful

People who can't afford to support one child shouldn't have more, but unfortunately, it happens all the time.
I don't know how things work in Florida, but in California, they can garnish wages, suspend driver's licenses and put liens against tax returns or any property owned. And, 10% interest just keeps getting added to the amount owed.
In my case, I worked to take care of my kids. I didn't count on anything from my ex. They attached his wages and next thing you know, he claimed he was "fired" because his boss refused to do the extra paperwork. He did every trick in the book. He couldn't afford child support, but he could afford one of the highest priced attorneys to get him out of it. There definitely came a point where I didn't care as long as I was the one doing right by my kids and I had to let the rest go.
A man can have 5, 6, 7 kids with 5, 6, 7 different women. There's nothing to stop him. And, he may or may not ever do right by those kids. It's sad, it's not fair, and unfortunately the courts don't always come through.
It takes a strong mom to move forward and do your best for your child regardless of what father does. If you get support, consider it icing on the cake, but I certainly learned not to depend on it. Ever.

I wish you the best.

5 moms found this helpful

Morally no, but legally I guess he can. His wife is an idiot though. If he's not paying for the kids that he currently has, chances are he's not going to pay for the kids that he's going to have. That seems to be a no-brainer to me but I guess some people don't get it. Only have children with men that you know are stand up kind of guys and support the children that they have. That's just my own opinion, of course.

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Your business is collecting the back support owed to you, not if he is having a child with his new wife. You should work on legally collecting the support.

4 moms found this helpful

No they shouldn''t but because he is a man, our govt, will not make it a law for him to stop having children..

Our govt only tries makes it so women do not have choices about their reproduction choices..

3 moms found this helpful

Well many people probably should not have more kids (or any to begin with), but fortunately in this country every one still has authority over their own body. Who knows maybe the wife paid for it...

2 moms found this helpful

that;s his business!

1 mom found this helpful

I think all this time you are putting into thinking about this is total negative BS that will do you NO good what so ever!

Have you written about this before? I seem to recall a post similar to this awhile back and in that post the poster was speculating that the 'new' wife was gonna pay for the vasectomy? If this is the same person, you really need to let this go for your own emotional well being...this really can not be healthy for you to still be this angry over your TOTAL BUM of an ex having new kids! *If this is not you, I apologize but maybe you could search for that older post, I seem to recall that person getting a LOT of emotional support from all of these great women on here!

I say acknowledge, accept and move on. You picked a looser for your kids' father. Period. End of Story. It sucks but it is what it is. You have no control over what your ex does anymore or who he does it with or how much $ they spend and on what. $30K behind? Wow! Either he makes an EXCELLENT living OR you have been separated A VERY LONG TIME? I think either way, it is safe to say you need to move on.

Your kids have you. You ARE enough. Even if you have to do it alone financially! *Just read your 'So what happened'...glad to hear your finally getting some $!

~Just went back and checked...this is you. I see you have been divorced for 12 years AND you stated in the first post (that I was referring to above) that you KNEW he paid $8000 for the vasectomy! You are WAY too much up in their business. For your sake and the sake of your kids try to move past this? I know it must be heartbreaking to be treated this way and have your kids be treated this way but you need to be the bigger person here and let go of all your anger. Just my 2 cents. Feel free to disregard them.

1 mom found this helpful

technically no, but you really cant have say in his surgery, or his plans with his new wife. Pursue the back support and be done with him otherwise.

1 mom found this helpful

my ex is behind as well, not quite that much but probably 20k. when he works (key word is WHEN) the money is automatically taken out and goes right into my bank account. my ex got married to a woman 10 years younger than me and she wanted kids. I had him fixed before we divorced. they checked into having it reversed and said it was about 10k and insurance didn't pay. they decided having our 2 kids every other weekend was 'enough' for them...thank God! just proves why we are divorced from them, right??!!! :o)

that sucks! unfortunatly there isnt anything to do about it! my dad pd very little in support for yrs and when him and my stepmom made a decision to have kids of their own he went to the courts and asked them to lower his big fat 20 bucks a week cause he couldnt afford to pay it and take care of his new kids! I am recently divorced with 3 kids and my ex is with a woman who has none so my concern was what would happen to my support if they chose to have a small litter of their own. I was told the first family comes first and the courts do not care how many more kids he may have or I may have or if either of us married rich people! He shouldnt have more kids but you cant stop him, just keep going after him for the help with your kids. Im sorry, it sucks to be owed money. In the short 8 months I have had a support order my ex managed to get almost 2g behind and the only reason I get any is cause the loser is on unemployment and they take it out. Good luck!

Well since I have issues with getting child support, all I can say is that no one seems to care if the dad is behind on support. For the others that have asked about having the courts get involved well you can do that until your blue in the face but it isn't going to make a difference. Right now there is a warrant out there for my son's biological father's arrest because he is in contempt of court for not following the agreement that we came up with back in December (and we were in court that day for him being in contempt of court again for not following the judges order/agreement from June). For me it is a never ending cycle. Government doesn't care, county attorneys don't care, child support enforcement workers don't care.

Of course he shouldn't. But who expects anyone $30,000 behind in support to do the right thing? ;-)

FWIW, my c.s. case is in one of the strictest states there is (NOT the one I live in), and we do have direct payment/deposit. There have still been times when my ex has been several thousand dollars in arrears. You can't garnish a non-existent paycheck or secret cash!

No he "shouldn't". Unfortunately I'm not familiar if there are laws regarding something that seems such a common sense answer. (Child Support should be paid before elective surgery) There probably aren't avenues in place to check for this. If he is working, doesn't the Child Support come out of his paycheck? It's possible his new wife is paying for it. Do you have a lawyer or someone you can talk to about this to make sure everything is being done that can be to get the back child support? Hopefully some others on the site will have specifics as to what to do.

For those that are owed back child support - have your atty or local c/s office file to intercept his federal and state refunds! (probably too late this year, but remember to start that ball rolling this winter!)

There was a story online about a woman getting almost $94,000 in back support - owed from 30 years ago! WOOHOOO!!! There are some good workers out there (wish we all had them!). The actual back support was about $28,000 but they tacked interest on it for all those years! YESSSSS!!! Seems they found out about a bank acct of his w/about $200,000 in it and filed and made the bank cut the check! (AZ maybe?)

Sounds like he's my BIL. The man has 3 kids to his ex, ran from her even going as far as to leave the state, married my SIL, had 5 kids (yes FIVE) with her, and only keeps a job long enough for Domestics to find him and garnish his wages.

We have a 13 yr old, who's father is app. 25,000 behind. Two years ago Easter he called Dakota, and told her she was going to have a little sister. She was ecstatic. She loves that little girl so much. Now, he announced that there is another on the way. Now she is a little upset, cuz he fell behind in the support again, and really can't pay any on the back and not much on current. Her mom, (my partner) is livid. I am just caught in the middle and don't know how to feel. I have been supporting her for 10 yrs, while this guy just keep popping out more and not paying. I don't mind, I love her, but he still wants to see her all the time and does not even feel the least bit remorseful about being so far behind. He doesn't even carry insurance on her, I do at my job, and it is like $42. out of my check to have her on the policy. Again, I don't mind, but I would sure like to cut a nut on that side of town right now. Go to the Dept of Economic Security (DES) and apply for help getting your support. Apply for everything you can get. Money, Food Stamps, Health Insurance for your kids and you. It won't take them long to "get on it" when the state is footing the bill for him.

Why have you not gotten his wages garnished yet if he is that far behind? In Texas the moment he is reported wages are garnished ... I would find out about what FL has in regards to that.

Uh. No. NO NO NO NO. and more NO's, until he is caught up on payments and keeps up. But you knew the answer to this one, it's just that he is making you so crazy you have to check in with other people just to make sure you are sane and your judgement is still on target.