35 answers

Should a 4Th Grader Know to Just Do Homework, or Should They Need Reminded?

Do you have to manage your child's homework in 4th grade? I feel like if I don't tell my 9 yr old over and over again he won't do his homework at all. Is this normal? When should I stop reminding and let him figure out that its HIS responsibility?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

They need to be reminded. He's normal. It's his responsibility but you SHOULD be reminding him. It's part of parenting. He's ONLY 9 years old.

4 moms found this helpful

They need to be reminded. According to the personality, a child may always need to be reminded.

Sorry,
D.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes-it is normal-he's waiting for you to let up-so don't. Of my five children-the middle child was the toughest-I rode him like Seattle Slew-he 's in grad school now! Hang in there!

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

We're talking fourth grade here, not middle school.

He is still "learning how to learn." Telling a child "Do your homework" is like saying "Clean up your room" -- it can be overwhelming: "Where do I start? What should come first? It's too much, I can't do it all, I'll give up!"

By fourth grade in my daughter's school every child was given a daily "diary" book at the start of the year. At the end of each class day, there was a specific time, a few minutes where EVERY child together sat down and recorded their homework in that notebook and then gathered what was needed for that night. If your school does not provide such a journal, get your child one and work with him on using it. Then he has a written reference for what he needs to do and when it's due. (My daughter is in 6th now and they still get school-provided journals designed just for keeping track of homework -- your school really should try it. And the teachers prefer it too.) Some elementary schools also use online "Blackboard" types of systems where all homework is posted. If your son's teachers use one for his grade, teach him how to get on it and check assignments (they may not be doing it for kids as young as fourth).

Set aside a specific time and place daily for homework. Don't be random about it. Give him time after school for a snack and if needed, a FEW minutes to blow off steam, but don't let it linger. I find that waiting until after dinner is the kiss of death to homework for younger kids; they lose all focus. Set a timer if you must. Sit with him long enough to review: What is due tomorrow? What is due day after tomorrow? What day is that test this week? Ensure he has what he needs then leave him and check in -- maybe 10 minutes later; as he gets better at doing homework, you'll be able to wait longer. I would avoid doing it in his room or a playroom or anywhere very interesting or where there are toys within reach; that's why many folks use the dining room or kitchen tables for homework. If you need to, sit near him reading or doing a (quiet, sitting) chore like paying bills. Not hovering, but near enough that you know if he's not working.

Doing homework, studying for tests, doing projects over time and not procrastinating - these must be learned! They do not come automatically. Please do help him manage his homework through elementary school or he will have a hard time in middle school. Do give breaks as needed, do reward persistence and not only grades, do talk to his teachers for more tips.

Yes, you can let him fail some as others might say, but for some kids that only makes them give up. They need to be taught study skills., Why let them fail but then not ever teach them these skills so they can eventually succeed?

6 moms found this helpful

They need to be reminded. According to the personality, a child may always need to be reminded.

Sorry,
D.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes-it is normal-he's waiting for you to let up-so don't. Of my five children-the middle child was the toughest-I rode him like Seattle Slew-he 's in grad school now! Hang in there!

4 moms found this helpful

They need to be reminded. He's normal. It's his responsibility but you SHOULD be reminding him. It's part of parenting. He's ONLY 9 years old.

4 moms found this helpful

It really depends. Have you been guiding your son in this area since he started school? Do you have an after school routine that includes homework? Or did you just expect that one day when he turned 9 or started 4th grade he should just know what to do and what to expect? Partially it depends on what he has been taught so far and partially it depends on the individual child's personality. My 5th grader pretty much completes assignments, studies for tests, and works on projects without reminders from me. My 7th grader has just recently gotten to that point. I still check in with both of them if they have a big test or project coming up. If your son is not doing his homework regardless of what has happened it the past, I feel it is your job to create the environment that supports him doing homework--i.e. time, space, quiet area--and have someone who is available for help if needed. If he still doesn't do it, there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed--is it academic, social, too many other activities, too many distractions like video games? Whatever the issue is, address it now to get him on the right track for high school.

4 moms found this helpful

It's the parent's job to make sure that homework gets done...so no, if I were you I would not just stop reminding him.

My 9y/o son is in 3rd grade (started K late, October b-day) and we have a set time every day to sit down and do homework. I think this is normal.

4 moms found this helpful

Depends on the kid. My older girl I still have to remind her to be working on long term projects and to study each night in her most challenging courses.

The little one came out of the womb with a day planner, wristwatch and a little tapping foot.

3 moms found this helpful

My third grader comes in everyday and does his homework on his own, but I really think that's just his personality. I teach high school, and have some students that I'm sure still need to be reminded daily to do their homework. It is probably a good idea to start teaching responsibility. Good habits will serve him well later in life.

3 moms found this helpful

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