Should a 10 Year Old Have a Phone?

Updated on December 01, 2010
C.W. asks from Ridgewood, NJ
18 answers

My daughter is 10 in 10 days and for her birthday we want to get her a phone and her friends say shes to young to have one. She walks to school by herself(we are 8 blocks away) and goes to the deli (2 miles away) should she get one? Her BFF Virginia walks to school by herself but she lives 2 blocks away and she says she is to young to get a phone do you think virginia is jealous or is she right?

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I don't think 10 year olds have the capability of making a decission as to whether or not someone is to young for a phone. Why would you even consider it?

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I gave my daughter a pay as you go phone for her 9th birthday. She had it for 2 years to prove she was responsible enough for it. While she wasn't walking to school, she carpooled to cheer and tumbling 3 times a week. I wanted her to have it mainly for emergencies. Because it was prepaid, she was very careful in how she used it, as far as calling her friends and texting. So yes, get her a phone. Start with a pay as you go. You can get them almost anywhere and they aren't expensive. Also, I agree with S.M., why do you care what her friends think. This is for her safety.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think you are the daughter of daughterlover44 and virginia is your (made-up) friend.

EDIT: FYI, I just got a personal message from C. W. saying this:

Virginia is Charlottes best friend. And I am C.'s mom!!!

However when I click on C. W.'s name, daughterlover44's profile comes up.

8 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am not sure if this is a joke post or not..........so I will be blunt..... from reading your past postings today, it appears that you put too much emphasis on what your daughter's friends think vs being an involved parent and making good decisions.

SHOULD your daughter have a phone? I don't know, it depends on her maturity and being responsible. I don't know your daughter but it sounds like she is too interested in what friends think instead of doing the right thing. Again, based on your postings today I'd say no.

Plenty of mature/responsible 10 yr olds have phones and do just fine with them...my child had one around 9 or 10. However, it does not sound like you are ready for this responsibility as a mom, much less a 10 yr old.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Going with TF and Bobbi on this one.
Your question is slightly on the ridiculous side. Many of them are.

No phone. Read some good parenting books and develop the skills to make these decisions on your own, in the future.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree. Any child who is allowed to be unsupervised outside of the home like that should at least have a phone to giv eher a bit of security should she need belp. Frankly, I would force her to take it everywhere. However, this should not be for calling friends. It should be for seeking help in an emergeny or to call home.

Why are you so concerned about what HER friends think?

1 mom found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

She may be repeating what her parents have told her. If your daughter is doing all that walking by herself then I think that a simple phone for emergencies is fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.

answers from Augusta on

If you get her one get her one she can only call you on , one with pre programed numbers. like the Firefly. Something very simple.

And who cares what her friends say, your her parent and shouldn't care what they say they aren't her parents you are.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

If you are letting her walk that far each day I would make sure she has one. Sorry but there are to many crazy out to be safe, but I would never let my 10 year old walk that far by themselves anyway. I hope she walks with a friend or classmate.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

In my opinion, Erica is right on: no phone until you can afford one.

That said, I wonder why your daughter is going 2 miles away unattended. I never did that until I was at least 14 or 15, and with the company of a friend or walking sibling.

Kids this age need some responsibilities, and I disagree with the idea that one poster suggested: that having a phone can 'bail out' a kid from being irresponsible. If my child decided not to be careful in getting permission slips filled out or bringing necessary items to school, my running to the rescue is not going to help him learn to be more responsible next time. This is a life lesson: mommy and daddy do not always rescue you. And there are phones in the office for actual needs to call home, *like being sick*. The teacher can send the child to the office with a permission slip! And there are still pay phones and quarters...

I also have to say that I am very blessed to live in a relatively safe neighborhood, and that our school is close by. I used to live much farther from school, though, and walk by myself, then call mom at work when I got home. 8 blocks is a 8-15 minute walk. If a parent is that worried their child will meet trouble walking unattended for 15 minutes, they should be dropping off and picking up their child at school themselves or have a trusted adult do this. Or have a system, safe places to stop and ask for help, etc.A phone is not a substitute for a parent!

I'm not even going to explain my thoughts about a parent questioning their own judgment because of a comment from a 10 year old. Who's the adult?!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Our children won't have phones until they're old enough to pay for them themselves, but that's just us here.

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'm getting my 7 year old a pp phone for christmas, her cousins and friends tell her it's not fair along with her step sister's but she's much more mature than a lot of kids her age....and honor roll student i think she deserves one

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

Many of my past 5th grade students who were 10-11 years old and live in NYC had phones. Actually, I think almost all of them had phones and at least 75% of these students traveled to school on their own or with friends either walking or on the bus or subway.

As their teacher I was relieved to know that these kids had phones. Emergencies happen. Accidents happen. I have even asked kids to call their parents on their cell phones in class for lots of things from permission to go on a trip, forgotten homework (if the child is upset), or to pick up their sick child when the nurse keeps sending them back.

It is possible to get prepaid phone plans that do not allow texting, internet, photos.... I wouldn't give a 5 year old a phone, but I would give one to a child as young as 8 if they were traveling on their own.

As for the friend.... I have rarely come across a 10 year old girl who isn't somewhat jealous of what their peers have that they don't. Of course she's going to try and make your daughter feel like she is too young. It sounds like she is repeating exactly what many parents might say to their 10 year old.

Peace.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from Sacramento on

As a parent i think she is too young to get a phone, but it's kind of weird that her friends would say that. My 10 year old would like a phone but there is no real reason for it and I think there is too much potential for trouble--mean or sexual texts, images, possible contact with strangers. But you said she walks places on her own. i am not in that sitauation as a parent and probably won't be for a long time so I am not sure about that part of it.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Her BFF is saying that... because that is probably what her parents say. She is merely, parroting, what her parents say.
It does not matter, what her BFF is saying... it only matters what YOU the parent... thinks... and per the safety of your child... who is daily... walking that far... by herself.

IF your daughter is mature... and responsible.... and she is daily walking that FAR... by herself... and going to the Deli.... by herself and whatever else.... (you can never plan, where a child goes, by themselves nor will they always tell you)... then it would be for safety.....

There are basic phones... that only allow calls... NOT texting.... and family plans.... research it and talk to the phone vendors...

all the best,
Susan

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If you feel she is ready for one, what do you care what another 10 year old thinks about it?

A.N.

answers from Albuquerque on

My son is 11 and had had a phone since he was 9 and it has been a life saver I think that she needs a phone. Virginia is jealous of your daughter but who cares waht she thinks. I think for saftey reasons yes you should get her a phone.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

So Bobbi, below, figured out why this question is odd.

Well, regardless of who is really asking this question: I personally wouldn't be comfortable with a 10 year old walking 2 miles by herself, but if she does she should definitely have a phone.

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