Sharing in My Mom's Weight Loss Sucess

Updated on February 22, 2011
A.B. asks from Burleson, TX
10 answers

I have been struggling to lose weight, but feel very motivated right now..yeah!!! My mom has started a program called "Slim4 Life" and doing great on it, I unfortunately can not afford the porgram. I am very happy for her, but feel jealous and discouraged sometimes when she calls and tells me she has lost another 1/2 pound..etc. My mom and I are very close and I am so happy she is finally losing weight. I, of course want to share in her sucess, but feel bad for the jealousy. Maybe this is not so much a question, just admitting how I feel without the risk of hurting my mom.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts--they were great to hear and very helpful! I FINALLY feel very determined!!! All the best my friends:)

More Answers

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

The great thing about this board is that people can come from all walks of life and have differing opinions...with that said....
Nikki G. is completely wrong. :) It's not your mom's responsability to get you on some kind of program. And I say this as a woman of size as well...read 365 right now. A couple of years ago I lost 100lbs the old fashioned way...eating right and excersizing. No special program, no special food, just behaving the way you are "supposed" to.
You can lose weight that way also. You don't need "slim4life" (I don't even know what that is) or lap band surgery or anything. You just need to get out and move. Dance, hike, walk the dog, whatever!
I completely understand where you are coming from. My mother has been walking and watching what she's eating and she has lost 85lbs and I am so proud of her, but there is that twinge of jeleousy too. Once you get started taking care of YOU the jeleousy wont be there anymore.
You can do this!!

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I don't think she means to hurt you. in fact, maybe she is trying to inspire you... thing is, when a person loses weight, you do want to share it..
instead of sulking.. just do another program that works for you... try WW.. it's a great program... go once, see if you like it, IF you do.. sign up.. IF you can't afford it, the first class is free (As long as they are offering free registration) take in the info and do like some, work the program on your own.. As for the jealous factor.. like I tell my son when he gets upset at someone else winning, I say. .don't get upset with them winning, get upset at losing when you know that you too have the ability within to win as well.. let those feelings of jealously motivate you not hold you down.. which is all jealously really does. it holds you back , not the other person....
Also... Oprah can afford ANY diet she wants and look at her, she is still fat... in other words, it's not about what program you choose, it's a matter of what you stick to........... (which doesn't appear she has stuck to any for too long) Also, consider those people who get sober via a 12 step.. the cheapest program around in that it's virtually free.... and they have millions of success stories..... and then consider those who pay all that money and go to a rehab facility.... you can probably guess that those who work the 12 step often stay sober longer than the rehab folks.... point is.. you don't need a SLIM4LIFE to get the same results... decide you want to lose weight and you will find a way... as they say in the 12 step,,, gotta stop that stinkin' thinkin'...... :) get positive...

best of luck

2 moms found this helpful

Y.C.

answers from New York on

Congrats to your mom!! I think it gets harder to lose the weight the longer you start. So it amazing that she found the strengh and the desire to do it.
I don't think is call gelosy, I think you may feel mad at your self for not doing it too, well, at least is that how I feel sometimes.
My mom have trying to lose weight for long and I use get upset at her because I was thin and it was easy for me...until I have my second one and I gain weight and haven't be able to lose it in 2 years!!
Now I understand more my mom and I feel I need to really lose the weigh not only for me but for her, I want to inspire her.
I hope your mom can inspire you too, and she may can now share those tricks that they are teaching her.
If she can do it so are you and I wish you can accomplish it too and become 2 hot mamas!!

1 mom found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I understand your frusteration. I have not had that feeling this paticular way, but I have been around a lot of small size friends and we go shopping together and they can always find wonderful outfits and can shop at old navy and other places and I can't fit in those type of clothes. I am not all that heavy, but am trying this year to succesfully loose weight. I guess my modivation is just to be healthy. So I make small steps in my day. Drink they right amount of water and fruit/vegs and then decide to excersies. But I hate they gyms and all that, so I have found a great hike near by and it takes 50 min to do each day. I am outside and music going. It is really refreshing. I don't know what to say on how to react to your mom other then to be truthful if you guys are so close. I think you should tell her....lets wait a few weeks and discuss our sucess together instead on a daily and weekly basis. Your success maybe diff . Maybe it is getting all the water down or taking a walk. Make your choices based on your modivation even if it is changing one or two things in your day.

I do have to say, once you get in a routine of something, the junk food does not seem as appealing anymore. :0) Good luck

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C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

You know, I hadn't realized it in myself, but I feel that way about my mom (and grandma), too! Most of the women in my family have been overweight for most of their lives. Well, about 2 years ago, my grandpa died and my grandma lost a LOT of weight. Mostly it came down to the fact that she didn't have someone to cook for anymore, so she started eating very light meals. She also became a lot more active with her friends and community. It was amazing to see her lose (my best guess) around 75 lbs! She is now a very healthy 73 y/o woman who sits at a healthy 135 (5'4"). Then, last year, my mom got a pretty nasty wake-up call at her annual exam: borderline diabetic, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, borderline cholestrol, etc... So, she took drastic measures and started eating very very health! (No crazy fad diets, just avoiding a lot of fats, sugars, and snacks.) She is still working on losing weight--with a goal of 130 (5'1") and doing so great (I think she's currently around 145).

So, I'm all happy for them--they both look great, feel better, and are doing things the "right way..." but then I have a nagging little thought in the back of my head: What about me?!?! I am built much "thicker" than them 5'6" but that's no excuse for my 200+ weight! So, I started out with yoga for flexibility and loosening up my body. I've now moved on to exercise videos and running (30-45 minutes during my lunch break each day at work). I don't have a set weight in mind, but I just know that I need to be healthier! I've been doing these activities for 2 months now and am definitely feeling the difference in my body. Even on days that I don't want to do anything, I make myself (how long does it take to make an activity become a habit...).

Whew, that felt good. :) Thanks for sharing your story--I guess I needed to share mine, too! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I can understand how you feel, and I think it is great that you are happy for your mom. Since you are feeling really motivated right now, why not join up with her- then you can both "brag" to each other about your successes. I am not sure how much Slim4Life costs, but a lot of exercise programs such as P90X or Insanity, which generally cost about $150.00, can be purchased through Craigslist or other classified ads for a fraction of the price (I have seen as low as $30.00). Also, just because Slim4Life works for her, doesn't mean that is the program you have to choose. There are so many free and inexpensive options out there. For instance: If you have a smart phone, there are TONS of free calorie counting applications. My favorite (and I have tried about 5) is DailyBurn. It is the easiest app I have used. Livestrong has an Iphone app and also a website you can log your calories and fitness on. Counting calories is my preferred weight loss program. I believe you are supposed to aim for100 calories for the weight you are aiming for (example: you want to be 150 lbs, aim for 1500 calories per day). I have also heard to add 50% of the calories you burn in working out to that. So if you burn 300 calories on the treadmill per day, eat 150 calories more; that will help you have enough energy for your workouts.
If you have Netflix, they have a great selection of workout DVDs and that way you can try them out before you purchase them. I love Turbo Jam workouts; they are between 15 and 45 min long and you can purchase the 5-DVD set on Amazon for around $25.00. I got IMMEDIATE results from their DVDS and have been using them for 3 years now... I never bore of them. You can start walking or climbing stairs for free.

God Luck! You can do it! ...and if you are not ready to do it now, you can always say to your mom, "Mom, I am so proud of you... but I am really frustrated about my weight loss right now.. can we change the subject?" I am sure she will understand!

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I am assuming you are not close enough geographically to do the program with her, so perhaps you could ask if she could copy it for you? Or try one of the online progams that are little or no cost.
Really though, the way to lose weight is limit calories (go to a calorie counting program online and find out what your weight loss daily calorie intake should be) and record your calories every day. Keeping a food journal will help you realize what you are taking in every day and keep you accountable for what you eat. You'd be surprised at how the calories add up!!!
Also exersizing and taking into account those burned calories is important. I use the melaleuca vitality for life https://www.vitalityforlife.com/melaleuca/guests/index.asp
and it really worked for me.
Remember - calories in, calories out!

Your feelings of jealousy are very normal. You know you can do it but just need the tools. Maybe if your mom can't copy the program for you perhaps you could just get some of the program over the phone from her. I'm sure she'll want to help you. Get going on your own program before you really get discouraged and lose that awesome motivation!

1 mom found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think your feelings are very normal and hurray to you for being brave enough to admit them to us!

I sell a weight loss program and people often discount it thinking they can't afford it. If you want to do this program "Slim4 Life" with your Mom don't discount it quickly. I know nothing about it, but I do know when it comes to the plan I offer if you figure it out, and the money you save in meals and junk food...... it becomes an affordable no brainer. Plus, at a healthy weight and good nutrition you will mostly likely feel better and get sick less often. Get details before you decide you can't afford it. Figure out what you spend at the grocery and eating out and what you will be saving by going on a program.

Don't feel guilty for being jealous. You are entitled to feel that way. You ARE happy for your Mom..... so you are a sweet daughter.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Have you investigated options to help yourself lose weight? Not all programs are super expensive. Weight Watchers' online only program isn't too expensive and they often have great deals going on for new members.

Use any jealousy as motivation for your own efforts. In Weight Watchers, I learned to write down everything I was eating. That alone can be an eye-opener. Look up calories and fat content for what you eat. Aim for smaller portions, more fruits and vegetables and a variety of foods in your diet. Also get in some exercise, even if it's just walking around the block, vacuuming the house or doing an exercise video for 20 minutes. Every little bit will add up.

Best of luck to you! You really can do this and you don't have to spend a fortune.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Umm... this is going to sound REALLY harsh, and I apologize ahead of time, but what the HELL is your Mom thinking? As a woman of size (and I mean a lot of size), I've struggled with my weight since... like.. birth. My highest weight was 372. Six months ago, when I got a dx of HEART FAILURE at age 27 from my cardiologist, my Mom sacrificed and scraped up Ten Thousand Dollars to get me lap-band to save my life. I have lost 50 pounds so far and am about to discontinue my heart failure medicine.

If she can afford Slim4Life for herself, why doesn't she get it for you or at least pay part of it so you can do it together. If it were me, I'd put myself on a slab to save my daughter first. But that's just my opinion.

I think you are absolutely right to feel jealous, and I'd be a hell of a lot meaner than you are being. I'd tell her that you are proud of her, but since she chose to take the selfish route, she can do it alone, because you don't want to hear anything about it any more.

You're a better person than I would be! Good luck!

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