Sexual Experimentation Gone Too far....anybody Else?

Your son is a little confused right now, but he'll be okay. The best advise I can give is to take a deep breath and give yourself some loving time to do something other than worry. Then next time you have a "natural" opportunity to engage with your son about what happened, look at him in a loving and interested way as though he is telling you about the picture of a tree that he painted in school today. How you respond to him is how he will feel about himself. He is looking at you for cues on how to feel and react about this. If you are afraid, feel it was shameful, or in utter confusion....he will be too. You don't have to tell him any thing. When he speaks of it, listen and look into his eyes with love...not sadness covered with a smile. When he seems to be through talking ask him questions in an objective and light manner like, "how do you feel about that?", or "do you have any questions about your body?".
Your responses do not need to be complex, but they do need to be true and real. You can say, "I hear you and I love you." or "Everyone's body is special and you are in charge of your own body. There are lots of ways to be in our body like playing, running, and cuddling with mommy.". He needs to be empowered and feel in control again, and supported and loved by you, which clearly he is. The last thing I would say is when you feel like he has expressed himself and your conversation is through, redirect him to a fun activity, give him an opportunity to be carefree and let go of the heaviness this has apparently created for him.

It's hard not to be overcome with despair when we see or feel our child has been imprinted or scarred for life by something someone else has done. It is hard to let our children go out into the world without us, it is hard to trust others with our "babies". There is no pain greater than a parents grief for their child, and their is no joy greater than parenting. Focus on your joy, let him let this pass in his own time, and trust yourself that you are doing an amazing job as a mom. You are obviously a loving and hard working mom if you are caring for three children, on your own, for the better part of the week. Bless you.

Dearest T.,
The best advice that I can give you is besides getting therapy for your child is to get him out of that school ASAP. I know that may not be the easiest thing to do but this is your child we're talking about and nothing else matters or is too hard to do when it comes to their safety. One thing is if the school was doing something about it, but their not and because it is a private school, you're not getting the support from school officials from the state. Private schools are bound by other guidelines and dept. of education does not get involved.
good luck.

I would DEFINITELY get your child out of that school based on how they responded to the incident. Children at this age should not even know these type of behaviors exist...and the fact that they need, indicates one of the other kids has been exposed to this. What concerns me as that they do not see how serious this is. There could be a child that is being sexually abused?????? The next issue is, how will you be able to feel safe from anything else happening to your child? If the school isn't concerned about his safety...that is very scary.

I think you are doing the right thing...just show your son you love him and explain to him those behaviors are definitely not appropriate...but he didn't do anything wrong and it's not his fault. And it was very good of him to talk to Mommy about it...and your so proud of him for being such a strong little boy. He will be OK because he has a mother that loves him very much and supports him.

Good luck, I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. My little guy is 17 months old and these situations scare me to death.

First of all, private schools just like public schools have to follow state regulations. Most states have a declared bathroon policy in which children under a certain age are not allowed to go to the bathroom without two adults. I worked in a high school child care program for 4 years and had to train many parents on the dangers of other children. My advise is to contact the local better business bureau as well as child services and make a complaint. Also take him out of that school, there is absolutly no reason to pay for an education like that. Take care and good luck in the future.
H. S. Mother of Anthony, Vivianna, Simon, and Solomon