Sex Ed

Updated on July 14, 2012
S.M. asks from Ohatchee, AL
12 answers

How do I go about talking to my 11 yr old son about sex? How much is too much info. I want to keep it Godly also.

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Thank You for all your advice. I will read my Bible and check out our local library. I will keep all these things in the back of my mind. You all are truely helpful.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He is 11. He needs to know everything. He needs to know about contraception, anatomy (male and female), STDs, the actual mechanics. I would think he has already covered pretty much all of it in school already. No?

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

At 11, there is no "too much" about sex. Unless you've kept him home in a bubble, he already knows a lot about sex. It may be inaccurate information, but he's heard it. Ask him what he already "knows" and don't assume that if he says he knows it all, that he really does. Misinformation on this topic can lead to much heartache.

I used "It's so Amazing" and "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris with my daughter starting at about age 7. She and I have been talking about bodies, babies, and sex since she's been old enough to ask, and that started very young.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I got a book called "What is Happening to Me?" It described male and female anatomy and the changes to the body. My son had mentioned that he missed a sex ed class in elementary school so that is why I bought the book. I told him to read the book and ask me questions after. This way he wouldn't be too embarassed. A few years later my daughter read the book.

The book is factual and to the point. It is geared for the age of 10 to 12 year olds.

Welcome to the tween teen years.

The other S.

PS Just be honest and no flowery presentation for him.

When we were stationed overseas there was an active 12 year old who had 2 or 3 kids on base.

I always told my two that you must think seriously about having sex and make sure it is with someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with because a baby could be possible. It has made them think and long and hard.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I would check out your library to see what books they have about the physical facts. He needs to know how his body and hormones and brain are operating as he matures, regardless of his faith. I think the key is the combination is information and RESPECT. If he respects his body, his responsibility to himself and others, and respects those he would be in relationships with, chances are better that he will follow a more celibate path.

If he has no knowledge, and doesn't understand what it is he needs to be respectful of, then there's more chance of just experimenting or getting carried away.

Found this article - looked interesting:
http://christianteens.about.com/od/whatthebiblesaysabout/...

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Go to the library...get "it's not the stork" and "What's the big secret" It's cartoonish, but factual. Worked great with my 9yo daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

You should really check out Passport2Purity. I LITERALLY just finished doing it with my daughter this afternoon. It is definitely Biblically based so if that's not your thing you'll want to pass, but it is ours and I couldn't have asked for a better way to present sex, dating, purity, puberty, etc to my child. I got my kit on Family Life dot com - it came with a book for me, a book for her, and cd's to listen to. Feel free to message me if you have any questions!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would just like to say that by age eleven a child will already know a lot from friends and tv. At the school I teach at, the sixth grade health teacher talks about the stuff. Obviously not thee dirty stuff but just letting you know. You just need to explain the basic details to him.
good luck

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G.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

OOh, Im going through the same thing right now with my son.One of the moms here recomend a book called "whats going on down there" and honestly each chapter is something different but all of it is useful and breaks everything down to were there going to understand it. Im having him read a chapter at a time then as embarasing as it is for him, we talk about it and if he has questions I tell him let it out. I also explained to him that there are alot of kids at school who think they know what there talking about and might even sound like they know what there saying.But more then likely its all wrong or missing some parts to what there trying to talk about. Good Luck to you mama :) we gotta keep that communication open with our boys !

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

When you decide what book to use to guide the conversation.. It should be both you and your husband speaking with him about his body, the changes, healthy body, About how girls develop and sex.

Not all at once, but over a few weeks, before school starts.

Let him know you know this seems embarrassing, but it is actually science and you want him to know the truth, so others will not tell him any misinformation.

Also let him know he can ask you and your husband any questions in the future and you will not be mad. Questions or conversations about anything are fine with you.. And then prove it, by staying calm and if you do not know the answer to what the has asked, tell him," I am not sure, let me find out and I will get back with you. " then do it.

I also told our daughter, "this is a subject that she does not need to share with her friends, to allow their parents to tell them on their own. "

1 mom found this helpful
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P.B.

answers from Shreveport on

there are books, just simply talk with him

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T.K.

answers from Shreveport on

Find out what he already knows or thinks he knows and start from there. I just keep it real with my kids and do not lie about when you started having sex. At age 11 they have already know about sex and have form some wrong ideas. So start talking.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

ask him what he knows..and go from there. you can also use verses from the Bible. my 10 year son has already asked quite a few questions and i have told him the truth....

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