K.M. asks from Carol Stream, IL on August 05, 2009
Sex During Pregnancy?
Hey, mamas.
I have a personal question. My libido seems to have switched into overdrive since I have hit trimester 2 of my pregnancy. The problem is - my husband is very fearful of having sex right now. He is convinced - despite contrary books, doctors, other couple's advice - that intercourse will hurt or "disturb" the baby. So - I guess I have several questions - Did your husbands react the same way? And, if so, how did you cope?? Also, is it normal for a woman's sex drive to become extremely heightened during this time?
Thanks.
K.
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More Answers
S.A. answers from Chicago on August 05, 2009
VERY normal for your libido to be in warp drive! With my son , I was maniacal! It was all I could think about. I felt like a teenage boy! After discussing with some girlfriends, I'm convinced it's because i was preggers with a boy, all that testosterone! With my daughter, not so much. I never really wanted to. But yes, my husband was the same way. We never actually "did the deed" because he was too freaked out. No matter what he read or was told, he just couldn't do it. My advice, invest in some "alone time". Hope this helps! Good Luck with your little sweetie on the way!
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M.R. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
Well, without totally destroying his ego...you can remind him that he isn't um, how shall I say, *long* enough to have any impact or even come into close contact with the baby.
It is TOTALLY normal for your sex drive to be heightened. When you are sexually aroused, it is partly due to the increased flow in blood to your vaginal area. Now that you are hosting a fetus who is dependent on your blood for everything it needs, you have a lot more blood in your genital regions, thus the heightened sex drive. Additionally, a lot of women embrace their changing pregnancy body and feel wonderful about how they look which can increase self-esteem.
Coping - you can try to reassure him and I totally agree with the other posts: he'd better get the sex NOW before both of you have no energy and are sleep-deprived. If he's not on board, you can always take care of things yourself *wink*, which is totally normal and healthy.
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E.P. answers from Chicago on August 05, 2009
As long as your doctor gives you the blessing and there aren't any medical reasons for the contrary, enjoy each other! It is perfectly safe and as long as you have asked your doctor, this should, hopefully, allay your husbands fears. Now is a good time! After your baby comes into the world, you may be "too tired" for a while!!!
Did my husband react the same way? Yes but he got over it.
Funny thing about my libido... my "overdrive" was definitely in place when I was pregnant with my son. When I was pregnant with my daughter - not so much. I've surveyed a few close friends who have sons and daughters and I have seen some truth to this theory. Hmmmmm???? You'll have to let us know.
Good luck to you.
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P.M. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
I don't know if it is normal but it happened to me. I have never be so easily aroused actually I usually have a very hard time climaxing. There have to be some perks to the whole body transformation right? If your husband dosen't want to enter you maybe you can talk him into some mutal heavy petting.Just double check with your doctor. Very late in my prenacy I mean within 2 weeks of due date I think intercourse helped start contractions, but I still had the doctors blessing, and it was sort of a secondary goal as I was big as a house. Life is an adventure and you never stop growing as a woman, wife and mother.
Best of Luck. Peggy
N.S. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
I think most men think that way. Even when I was pregnant with our second, he still thought that it would harm the baby, even though we had one already. I guess eventually he just gave in after hearing the doctor say that it was ok.
S.E. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
What??? Some doctors tell you to have sex to bring on labor. My husband never thought that we would hurt the baby in any way. When a someone says you may hurt the baby ask them how because in my book how are you going to hurt the baby?? And if you worry about disturbing the baby you should not be doing anything because life in general could disturb the baby. I was still doing water aerobic the week our son was born. Of course our doctor was one who believed that life does not stop because you are expecting. Life should continue on with only a couple modifications and one is not stopping your sexual life.
That is my 2 cents.
A.R. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
Completely normal. Do you remember the Sex and the City where Miranda was pregnant and was desperate to have sex? I never understood until I was pregnant. LOL.
Re-emphasize the safety (show him in a book or online and discuss what the doctor said.) If he still hasn't come around say, "I just want to remind you that we can't have sex FOR SIX WEEKS AFTER DELIVERY and then after that we will have to squeeze it in during naps/etc and I'll be tired." All true, but make it sound bad. Then leave the room. The fear of not having sex for 6 plus weeks should freak him out enough that he will be in to initiate something within ten minutes.
Hope this helps because you still have 20 more weeks and you will need him to be onboard. Trust me.
All the best,
A.
B.M. answers from Chicago on August 06, 2009
My husband and I had sex up to my 9th month. It's great because there were no worries of getting pregnant. When we did have sex as my stomach gor bigger, I was on top which was the most comfortable position for me and plus my husband liked it. It does not disturb the baby, and my doctor encouraged it. When I was 9th months, my husband wanted to quit, because I was too dry and it hurt him. Ask your husband if there are other reasons too...maybe you may need lubrication? Sorry to be so graphic but you asked.
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