60 answers

Sex During Pregnancy?

18 1/2 weeks pregnant... sex or no sex? Who had intercourse during pregnancy? We have not been intimate since conception in October. Sometimes I feel like I want to have sex and other times I am just so exhausted to even think about it. Hubby isn't asking for it but I feel bad. When we had our first child we didn't have any sex until after she was born and the 6 week waiting period.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for the so many responses that I received! Well we bit the bullet and had wonderful sex the other night. We had no problems and took things slowly. Just for FYI I wasn't having sex because I was afraid of hurting the baby. It has just been a long haul to conceive this baby that I was afraid of taking any chances. Once again thank you for your replies. You helped me!

More Answers

Stefanie, this might seem a little strange, advice coming from a guy, but as a father of seven I do have a little bit of experience in this, not to include that I am a Pastor so I can talk about these things :). First, it is OK to have sex during pregancy UNLESS you are having any kind of problems, then it is always wise to follow any Dr's advice. If the pregnancy is normal than quit frankly being tired is understandable. But during those times that either a: you feel like your in the mood or b: you purposely take it easier in the day so that you have the energy, then TELL your husband that you WANT to have sex. You see alot of guys have hangups or misconceptions about what might happen if you have sex. "Oh my God if we have sex I may hurt the baby (yea right guys :) assure him the baby is well out of reach for any "normal" man), or what happens if I get carried away and get too rough, or perhaps I will make her have a miscarriage", to a slew of other insecurities. You have to tell him it's ok, you also just need to tell him we can just do it missionary style if your afraid, there's nothing wrong with just making love slowly. Pregnancy believe it or not is a scary thing to alot of men and the thought of having sex on top of it just adds to the fear. Now, this is the Pastorly advice, not having intimate relations for months on end is NOT healthy for any marriage. Not only did God create sex, He told us to never hold out on one another unless we open the door for the enemy to come in and ruin the relationship. (Paraphrasing, read I Corinthians 7:4-5). So the bottom line Stephanie it that it is perfectly normal to want, need and desire to have sex during pregnancy, throughout the entire course. Both of you enjoy, it will help to bring you even closer during this blessed time in your lives. God Bless.

2 moms found this helpful

My best advice to you (after 15 years of marriage and two normal, healthy pregnancies and deliveries) is tell your husband when you want to have sex. If he's not asking for it...well, you obviously already know what a gem you have. I would imagine he would welcome the opportunity to be intimate with you whenever the urge might overtake you! :) So don't be shy; let him know. And it doesn't have to be all candles and incense...I've said something like this: "Honey, I don't have the energy for all the foreplay, but I could use a good poke! You up for it?" He was undressing before I got to "up." ;)

p.s. We intentionally "induced" our second baby's labor by having intercourse the night before he was born...I just couldn't wait any more!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Stephanie,

While I was pregnant, I had sex up until 3 weeks before I was due! Theres no problem to having sex throughout your pregnancy as long as your up for it. We had no complications with it whatsoever so you should give it a try! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

OH MY GOD!!! How is your head not popping off?? and how is HIS staying on???? I was like a teenage boy with both pregs!! If we weren't having sex, I was thinking about it! It was nuts! We had sex all the way thru both pregs. The body is a wonderful thing. Don't worry that you will "poke the head" or "poke his/her eye out". These things will not happen. If you are worried that you will crush the poor child, sit up, go from behind, etc. If you are worried that you will bounce him/her around too much, forget about that too!! Ask your OB if you want their opinion.
I say, have all the fun you can handle! Have a great time. The bodies rxn to sex/orgasm/joy is a chemical one and it is GREAT for an unborn child!!
Enjoy!
S.

1 mom found this helpful

I could not have said it any better than Kelly F. You should continue to have intimacy in your marriage. Not only is it okay, but it is healthy. God Bless!

1 mom found this helpful

Okay, sex is TOTALLY okay during pregnancy! I have read many articles in reputable magazines such as Parenting, Baby Talk, and American Baby that have all stated in no uncertain terms that sex during pregnancy is completely safe (unless you have a high risk pregnancy and your doctor has specifically told you to not have intercourse). My OB-GYN has confirmed this with me as well. My husband and I had regular sex with both of my pregnancies, and let me tell you from experience - you don't know what you're missing! Sex is so amazing during pregnancy! Seriously, it's actually scientifically proven that most women have heightened pleasure with sex during pregnancy - between the higher horomones and the increaseed blow volume and flow, your body feels EVERYTHING (in every area that counts) more intensely. I know that it's a bummer that your body isn't quite as sexy with a little belly (although some guys would argue with that, especially since most women get bigger boobs, too!), but the experience is totally worth it, and your husband will be totally turned on by the fact that YOU are enjoying it so much. Also, I think that kind of closeness is essential in a marriage - why put it on hold for almost a year? You're denying both you and your husband not only physical pleasure, but the physical and psychological closeness that comes from being intimate with one another. I say GO FOR IT! You won't be able to believe that you went without it for so long before!

R.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I have been married for five years also and just had our first child. We had sex throughout my entire pregnancy. Not often, because I had bad morning sickness for the first half and bad heartburn for the second half. Like you, I was very tired throughout.

We had intercourse when I felt like it and did lots of other fun stuff when I didn't want to have intercourse. My husband asked for sex once in a while but he understood that I was feeling strange and let me take the initiative. He was cool when I said no and even said no himself once in a while when I was in the mood. We kept the hugs and general affection going in the day which helped us stay connected. We e-mailed and talked on the phone while at work, snuggled and watched movies, that kind of thing.

After our daughter was born, I was scared that sex would hurt so we waited about seven weeks. We had sex again and it was a little tender but not bad. With a new born, we have not had much sex because we have been beyond exhausted, as I am sure you remember. But just last week we made an agreement to have at least a few moments of intimacy each night and it has been nice. Sometimes it is sex or a shower together, other times it is kissing and talking, we just have to make the effort or we won't have sex again until the baby is in college!

Another complication is the fact that I am nursing, so we are not using any birth control except condoms, which I HATE. We don't want to get pregnant again so we are in the process of figuring out birth control. So far IUD looks like the best bet but I have to talk to my OB and see what she thinks.

Our lives are so different now that we have a ten week old baby but we are learning to adjust. She is so wonderful but a lot of work. I can't imagine doing this all over again with a three year old. I am hoping it is a little easier the second time around. Good luck and have fun! Keeping your relationship with your husband strong and healthy is the best gift you can give your kids, in my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful

I had no desire to have sex during the first trimester. We did have sex during the second which was wonderful because my sex drive went down again until months after our baby was born. For a while, sleep was the new sex for both of us!

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