Severe Preeclampsia

Hi, A. -

My name is L. and I have an 11 week old daughter. I also had severe preeclampsia and was induced early, although not as early as you. My daughter is healthy and her pediatrician assures us that she will be just fine. However, my obstetrician was very clear to us that there is a high likelihood that we would go through the same thing (perhaps even worse) if I got pregnant again.

As far as the HELLP syndrome, my best friend's sister had HELLP during her first pregnancy and her baby died after only 23 days (he was under 2 lbs and was born via c-section at about 26 weeks). She got pregnant again a few years later (she was 40!)and after an uneventful pregnancy, now has a beautiful daughter (Caitlynn) who is 5 years old.

Finally, I am an only child and I love it. I think there are always pros and cons no matter what the situation is or how you look at it. I know that I will be responsible for making decisions for my parents and even caring for them someday, and although it will be hard, I wouldn't have it any other way. I realize now, it's just like having my daughter - raising her will not be easy and there will certainly be sacrifices, but there will never be any regrets. Taking care of my parents will be the same way. I've asked friends and colleagues who have larger families about whether it is easier to care for aging parents when they can spread the "burden," but they all seem to believe that caring for an elderly parent generally becomes the responsibility of one child anyway, either because of the type of relationship between the parent & child or simply because of the logistics.

I also think that being an only child has helped me to form a very close and special bond with my parents, especially my mother. My parents were careful to raise me to be considerate of others and to share and "play nice" so the comments we all hear about "spoiled only-children" don't necessarily have to be true (although they easily can be if left unchecked).

I hope that helps!

L.

1 mom found this helpful

I am an only child and also did not want that for my daughter. So I went on to have 2 more kids. I think siblings are very important(not necessary) because they are always there for one another. My suggestion would be to get a couple of different opinions from several doctors. If they think that you should do well then go ahead, but if they think that the risks are too high then maybe think about adopting or foster to adopt which is much cheaper. I am also partial to adopting because my grandfather and his 3 sibling were placed in foster care after their parent died in an auto accident. He was the oldest and was never adopted. That way you would be giving a child a second chance at life and fulfilling your family needs. I hope some of this helps and I wish you the very best of luck with whatever you choose to do.

I understand your desire to have another child, and not wanting your daughter to have to make decisions and solely care for you later, but you have to consider your health and the health of a future child, as well. What would happen to your daughter if you got pregnant again, had preeclampsia again, and died, leaving her without a mother? It is a serious risk, and something you should not take lightly. Have you considered adoption? There are many children out there, babies or older kids that are in desperate need of a family to love them. You could also foster a child that you were considering adopting to make sure that was what you wanted to do. There are always international adoptions as well, where you have a higher chance of getting a baby, if that is what you want. I have friends that adopted a little boy from Korea, and he is the cutest, most loveable, and sweetest child you could ask for. Just things to think about. I wish you the best.

Hi A..

I too had preeclampsia through my first pregnacy. I was on bed rest for 6 months and was in and out of the hospital my entire pregnacy. I was able to carry my daughter to almost 37 weeks then was induced because of my high blood pressure also. They finally did a c-section so that we both would be ok. Three years later I had another child. My pregnacy was very normal. My doctor had me take a baby asprin every day and that was suppose to help with the preeclampsia. My advice would be to talk to your doctor again! maybe they know more now then they did when you had your first. ALSO try going to a specialist. good luck.....and always keep in mind adoption if you decide not to risk it again. A love for a child comes from caring for it...not birthing it.

R.

I didn't have this problem but if I were you, I would talk to your doc again. If he says the same thing, get a second opinion. Ask to be referred to a specialist.

L. B

A.,
I was an only child raised by a single mom. I am 37 years old and doing just fine. My mother always put the necessary paper work in order so that I did not have to make any decision. I think this gave her complete peace of mind if anything were to happen to her. As a matter of fact she has just recently update all that paper work, now that I do not need a guardan.

On another note I have a son from a previous relationship and he is my husband and I only child. At this point in our lives we want another baby but it just doesnt seem to be in the cards for us. We have talked alot about adoption because there are so many kids out there that need great family's like yours and ours. Just a thought to consider.

R.

Hi A.,
I had preeclampsia with both my pregnancies, not quite as severe as yours, but I had the swelling, bedrest, and elevated blood pressure. The first pregnancy was much harder on me. My daughter was an August baby, so I think the severe heat did not help the swelling and water retention any. My son was born in the dead of winter, and while I had some preeclamsia with him, it was no where near as severe as it was with Miranda. I was like you and could not imagine my child being an only child. We had two and I got my tubes tied after that. My suggestion is : If you and your husband want another child badly, and are willing to risk the chance, talk to your doctor and see if there are any early precautions to help prevet another episode and keep your prayers and faith in GOD. Good luck in whatever choice you make! Have a wonderful day.
S.

I, too, had preeclampsia when my son was born almost 4 years ago, but I also had high blood pressure prior to the pregnancy. Mine, however, was nowhere near as severe as yours, so I understand your concern. But, every pregnancy is different. My son was only 3 1/2 weeks early & weighed 5# 10oz. He is a healthy, happy little boy. I am pregnant again now. I am with a high risk doctor and on different meds. I have to monitor my blood pressure 3x every day. I also developed gestational diabetes. I am not as far along as when I was with my son & put on bed rest. At this point, I don't expect to be. My blood pressures are great. They checked everything so much more frequently with this pregnancy. Yes, the risk for it happening again is greater, but that doesn't mean it will. Was the doctor how delivered your daughter your regular OB/GYN? If not, talk to your doctor. If so, maybe finding another, more supportive doctor could help? I ask mine the same question. She didn't see any problems. I hope some of this rambling helps. Sorry that I can't help you with the only child issue. I am 1 of 4. Good luck.

I would recommend adoption. If your doctor said that you have a chance of that happening again, don't put your health at risk. Plus there are so many children without a family that would love to be a part of yours. Of coarse it is your decision, but at least consider adoption as an option.

I had pre-e with my first and only pregnancy. They called it severe, but it wasn't nearly as severe as yours sounded! My dr told me that EVERY woman has a 25% chance of developing pre-e. It makes no difference if you've had it before or not. She also said that your odds go up for having it with your first pregnancy with any man. For example, if a person were to get pg with a second husband - the odds are higher of getting it then than on the 2nd or 3rd pg with the first husband.

There are many very well-qualified high-risk OBs out there (if you're in the Detroit area, I would check out the OBs at Henry Ford, UM or DMC Hutzel Hospital--or check out U.S. and World News Best Hospitals list--that could likely help you through a successful second pregnancy--or at the very least give you a second opinion.
Given your strong desire to have another child--and how young you are--they may be able to give you some strategies for minimizing the risk well before you become pregnant.

Best of luck!

While I haven't had preeclampsia, I have had several friends who have, and all of them have gone on to have very healthy second pregnancies. True, they had to rest a bit more often, and two of them gave up working for the duration, but they felt a family was worth the risk. They also all had very good high-risk OB/GYNs the whole way from the planning stages on.

So, I guess that's my advice. See a specialist before you get started and have them professionally assess you. High-risk OB/GYNs know the odds and know ways to keep you (and a fetus) as healthy as possible. They will let you know if this is a reachable dream.

Good luck.

I am a midwife. I want to tell you that pre-eclampsia is most often preventable with a good diet. I have a homebirth client currently who had both pre-eclampsia and HELLP with her first baby. She ended up with a premature birth and c-section. Then, had a completely normal second pregnancy and vaginal birth. This is her third, and so far, so good. We have her on 100-120 grams protein per day. We commonly recommend that and have found it works well. Check out the website www.blueribbonbaby.org . It's the web site for Dr. Tom Brewer, who did lots of research on toxemia (pre-eclampsia). Good luck with your decision.

I also would suggest drinking lots of water and a drink containing electrolytes (i.e. Propel), eating lots of watermelon, cabbage, and cucumber, taking a shot glass of wheat grass juice every day, and getting enough rest and exercise.

My first preg. was perfect. My next was about the same as your. PIH, induced 5 wks early my daughter was 4# 14 oz. My BP was 240/120. We got her out just intime because the doc wanted to C Sect. I had simmilar though not nearly as bad, on my 3rd. It is possible to repeat the symptoms but try doing things differently if your considering becoming preg. Alter your diet, cut back on food that keep BP up. Try to walk regularly, with daughter and hubby. Rest, rest, rest. If you start off ahead the later symptomes may not get as bad. I would do some research on high risk preg Dr. before you become preg. They monitor you more closely than 1X per month at the beginning and more than that throughout. Just do some research on dr and some soul searching to make sure this is what you truly want. I would frown on any doc who told you flat out not to have any more just becuase of some complications. Good luck

i am an only child of a single mother. I do not feel like I suffered in any way by being an only child. In fact I got 100% of mom's attention - there are benefits of being an only child,, you might be able to take one child on more trips than you can with two kids.. one child gets more material things.. clothes, toys.. it is easier to afford a college education for 1 than 2...

My mother was sick before she passed away.. and I did wish for a sibling as I was sitting in the hospital with my mother... but everyone I know that has siblings and a sick parent... the siblings fight and argue over what to do with the parent... or one sibling does everything and the rest of the siblings are not active in the parents care...

your child will be fine as an only child... have another child only if you really want one... you child will not appreciate a sibling until she is much much older.

If you realy want another child - get a second opinion from a high risk ob specialist...I too had preeclampsia with my first child now 3 kids later I am happy. The choice to have more kids or to have an only is yours and your husbands discision - but personally get another opinion.

Dear A.,
While I have not had the issues you are dealing with, I have known of so many challenges that have been solved with improved nutrition before becoming pregnant. That's the way I would go if I had it to do again.
S.