Setting a Date!!!

Updated on July 20, 2011
R.R. asks from Bakersfield, CA
7 answers

Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend/fiance for over 6 years and this past weekend we headed to Pismo for my birthday. Well on the drive there we started talking about getting married soon (we are engaged, just never really sat and talked about a date yet because we wanted to be financaly prepared for the wedding costs). Well after struggling and living paycheck to paycheck, he got a really good job working with the wind turbines a month ago and I will start my new job next Monday in the medical field. Talk about a big change to life!
Well we decided to do a small wedding and perhaps get married in Hawaii on the beach (since we want to honeymoon there anyways,) with just our close family and friends to be there. Im just so excited!!! So at the end of this year we should definitely know where our financial standings are. We havnt said a word to anybody on our decision, but we want to give enough time for those to start saving money for a trip to Hawaii.
My question is did you have a small personal wedding or a big one? And what do you think is the best time to be in Hawaii?

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

We had a huge 500+ wedding and I would never do that again. If it were up to me we would have a small private wedding with just family with one kick @ss party afterwards.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Do you think it would be a burden on your guests to go to Hawaii? For me, I would do the small or semi small wedding in CA and then just honeymoon in Hawaii. You don't want people that you care about to miss out on your special day due to finance reasons.......JMO
And yes - I like smaller weddings. Maybe up to 50 people?

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Had med size wedding 250 people. Have been to MANY small weddings, either family or close close friend, and all were lovely. None were destination weddings so the most we had to plan for was $600 (for travel from WI to AZ and food/board).

I honeymooned in Kauai and love love loved it! We were married mid Jan, and we left for the honeymoon shortly after, so late January we were there. It was cooler then usually, but a nice change to the snowing WI we left, still did a little swimsuit wearing and swimming. Of course it may not be as big a differance in weather as it was for us as you live in CA. Note it cost easily $4000 for tickets, room and food for a week so NOT cheap (just for 2 people, if I remember correctly the tickets cost almost half of our honeymoon budget).

If I was invited to a destination wedding I would need a least a year to save up for it, we would have 2-3 people going. Maybe flying from CA is cheapier but our tickets were pricey flying from WI to Hawaii, so if anyone lives further away they and are coming giving them the most time possible to save would be nice. You are going to start saving soon, and yes it is going to cost it more but just think that other would like that much time to save for a pricey trip otherwise they will not be able to come. Also look at all who you are going to invite, can parents afford it, if not are you willing to not have them there or foot a portion of their bill so you can have them there.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I would contact the Hawaii Department of Tourism and find out who you have to call. You will need a marriage license and a place to hold the event. You will also need a place to stay and a minister to perform the ceremony.
There are tons of websites dedicated to weddings. The list everything from destation weddings to ministers and planners.

Good luck and my wish for many years of happiness.
Congrats

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Y.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We had a medium sized wedding, about 175 guests. It went great! I worked my tail off planning it, and it was such a relief when it was over! Being married was the best part, though - don't lose sight of that.

Never been to Hawaii - would love to go, anytime! I have a negative opinion of big 'destination weddings'. They're a big imposition, and basically send the message that if people can't afford to shell out big $$$, they don't count in your world. Small destination weddings are less offensive, with just the closest friends and family.

Congratulations!

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

In this economy its hard enough for people to pay day to day expenses let alone save up for a trip to Hawaii. Before you make any definate plans I would check with those people and see how likely it is that they could even go. Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I would suggest talking with the people you most want to attend in the VERY near future. Hawaii is VERY expensive and it may mean that folks can't attend or that you may have to foot the bill for the activities for those who do attend.

Personally, if you want to do a destination wedding I would keep it very small and intimate and give people at least a year to make arrangements! One of my closest friends is talking about getting married in Barbados THIS DECEMBER and while I would really like to be there, I don't think we can swing it on 6 months notice (second marriage for both). She's getting that response from a lot of friends, so it looks like Barbados for their actual wedding with their immediate families (parents and siblings) and then a reception/party here when they get back... we're thinking a New Year's Eve party! That's an option too!

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