Seperation Anxiety MINE!!!

do not worry - you are doing the right thing! DO not stress about sending your baby off to another room if you are not ready. Cause chances are - your little one is not either. My 13 month old is sleeping with us and it is the most priceless part of my day/night. I have her nap in my bed and sleep in my bed at night. I have a futon which is used as a queen size bed in our room and we put it flushed with my husband's bed next to it. This way we have the room to share but not be on top of one another. Our daughter LOVES it because now that she is climbing she goes up and down between her father and mother and finally chooses a spot to sleep. We have a lot of fun with it. Also, she sinks into the bed with a huge smile on her face every single night. You can tell she is so content sleeping with her mommy and daddy. Wouldn't everyone want that kind of security in their life?! I agree with what Patricia said about us being too American in our ideas about cosleeping. It is only america that forces babues to sleep alone. When you give them that security when they are so little, they have a positive connection with sleep - the idea of kids forming sleep disorders if they sleep with their parents is a bunch of garbage - there is no research to back it up. So keep on doing what your doing cause you'll sleep better knowing your baby is right by your side. Enjoy it and treasure it cause it all happens sooooo quickly. They're only babies once!

I was the same way. It was hard for me to transition but at 6 mths she was outgrowing the co sleeper and I was going back to work so we decided to make the change. She sleeps so much better and more soundly and longer in her crib. She does not hear mommy and daddy moving so it has been so much better for her. Mind you I had two monitoing systems in there in the beginning both a sound and video and a movement to give me a peace of mind to be able to sleep I was up with every chirp in the beginning. Now we just have the sound for over night and downstairs the sound and video when she naps just because we are downstairs and it is farther away and can make judgements on whether to go up and check her or not. It is hard to let go but ultimately it will be better for your little ones peaceful sleep habits and learning to fall asleep on their own which mine is doing now a month later.

if you want her to sleep in her own room, you'll just get over it. But don't do it if you truly don't want to. when you do, the Bebesounds Angel care monitor is great. It has a sensor under the mattress that detects every movement and an alarm if there is absolutely no movement for 20 seconds. I never had to check and see if the baby was breathing. Your daughter is going to be fine, and she'll always want to sleep with you during bad thunderstorms, nightmares and such--so don't be so sad, cuz it's never really over.

To help you with the anxiety, you just need to make sure that she is safe in her crib and you could also use a baby monitor.

At this age, the baby will sleep much better by herself.

Do what you feel is best. As long as everyone is comfortable with the sleeping arangements, there is no need to change. My first son slept in his crib in our room until he was about 10 mos. When we did move him to his own room, I noticed that he did sleep better too.

If you do decide to transition her to her own room, have a nighttime routine that is consistant. This has always worked with my kids. They are pretty adaptable with where they are sleeping as long as I can keep the routine as normal as possible.

I think the video monitor would be a great thing to help you feel better too.

My friend went through the same feelings as you. She had her son in their room for a long time before moving him to the crib. But, she made the transition and all is fine :)

From day one (well day 5 because our son Jacob had to sleep in a basinet in a bili-blanket for jaundice)...Anyway, we have put our son in his crib from the beginning for bedtime and all naps. We never had a bassinet in our room as I was worried about him (OR ME) getting used to him being in there.

Don't feel guilty, don't worry about her and start the transition slowly. Now that she is older, maybe it will give her a larger sense of individuality. I know that Jacob loves going in his room, playing in his crib when he wakes up and rarely cries when we put him down to sleep (unless he truly isn't tired).

Some ideas for you:
- Maybe start with the naps (if you are at home) and see how she does in there.
- Put her in there when she's really sleepy.
- I would wait until the weekend to try the night time thing, incase she's not comfortable in there

Good luck, and don't worry about it! You are doing something good for your little girl. AND for you and your husband! :)

Sooner or later you'll have to make the break. You certainly don't want to have her sleeping with you when she's 4 or 5, let alone 18! She'll be fine, you'll be fine - and you might even find they you all sleep better. Rested parents make better parents - our nerves don't frazzled as easily.

First off your baby should not be in a playpen sleeping, I would say that that is not very good for her back. Also get here out of your room NOW because the older she gets the harder it's going to be to have her sleep in her own room. Do it for your daughter, do not keep her in your room for you.
Good luck

R.:

you need to follow you heart and your instincts... there is nothing "wrong" or harmful with children sleeping with their parents... you know this.. this is common in many manny cultures and through out the animal kingdom...we are mammals.. and we grow up marry and sleep with someone... then expect our children to sleep alone.

P. RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
800 LACTATE

Wow - you are doing better than me. I have a nine month old as well and she has been co-sleeping with us until two nights ago. Now we have her crib in our room to see how she does sleeping in her own space (but still in our room). We tried putting her in her crib a few months ago but it was too emotional for me and I wasn't ready - and turns out she wasn't either. For the past two nights she has slept so sound throughout the night...so I am now thinking the same thing you are. When should we move her to her own room? If you can share the comments you get back that would be great. My e-mail address is ____@____.com. Thanks so much and enjoy that little girl.

R.,

In other cultures, the whole family sleeps in the same room. The family bonds are stronger in these cultures as well. The reason why we think that we should have the baby in a separate room is because we're American and individualism is a big part of our culture.

Do what feels right for your family.

Diana

I totally think this is a kid-by-kid decision. We kept ours in the same room until he was a year old, but he really had to move into his own room. He just simply won't sleep if there are other humans around, and even us just moving around in our sleep or snoring would wake him up and make him restless. Now that he's in his own room he's fine, and I have a monitor if I'm concerned at all... and I can hear him crying without the monitor. (he's 2 now, btw)

If she sleeps fine with you, and you don't mind having her, why do you need to move her out now? I can see at a year and a half, or so, but 9 months doesn't seem like a *need* to move her out... unless she's like mine.

of course there are a million opinions on this subject. but what if you aren't home and the child is with someone else? what if you have a babysitter...? that baby needs to sleep on her own and feel safe and comfortable in her own bed. don't you want some quality time with your husband?
the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be for the baby to get used to this. around 9 months things really start to change. and habits you instill in that baby now will be very hard to break later (pacifier, co-sleeping....). it's the time to let her grow & change.

The first night is the worst! My son moved to his own room at 3 months (he is a REALLY noisy sleeper and kept us awake all night while he slept soundly!) and he was fine, it was me who was a wreck! I hradly slept because I was so anxious had to go and check on him countless times to he if he was ok which, of course, he was. I have no idea what I thought would happen to him! After that first night, I felt much better about it because he was obviously quite happy.

Give it a try and see how it goes...

Best of luck to you,

R.

R.,
Do what makes you both happy. I'm sleeping with my kids until they want to be somewhere else. Life is too short!
Amy

I think it's important for your 9 month old to be in her own room, but I know it's hard to not have them in the room with you. We got a video monitor so we could hear her and see her and it helped so much. Now I can't imagine living without it. It's the best money we ever spent!!
Good luck,
S.

I took me a long time to transition my daughter to her own room and crib. I did sleep in the guest bed in her room for a few weeks after, but she was waking up wanting to be near me. Now sleeping at night for her is great. I am the one still with issues.. I get up at least 1-2 times a night and go to her room to check on her. She is now 16 months old. I think as a mother, you will always have that worry. It is just female, human nature --- or hormones! I used to have nightmares that she was under the covers in our bed or in my pillowcase. New mother gitters. Good luck!

How would your daughter feel if you moved her? My 14 month old still sleeps with us. Most nights my 4 yro does to. My husband works night so there is plenty of room:) Nights he is home the 4yro does sleep in her own room or at least starts in it. When she was about 2, me getting into bed would wake her so we got her a big girl bed and we laid down with her till she fell asleep, most night she would sleep through the night. The only reason we moved her is because we were disturbing her sleep. When the baby was born it was easier for me for us all to lay in our bed. And now that she is a better sleeper I don't mind her in the bed. My oldest is 12 and he sleeps in his own room ALL night long:) My 9yro daughter asks about once a week to sleep in my bed and I let her. We have the best talks, I have a chance to really listen to her while the baby is nursing to sleep and there are no other distractions. Pretty soon before you know it like my 12yro, she will not want to cuddle with you 24/7. My son still hops into bed with us in the morning to chat. Almost all of our important talks(drugs, sex, school issues, life in general) happen in our bedroom. We had a crib for a few months when my oldest was a baby, we took it down because he never used it:) They have all slept with us until they were ready for a bed, about two. As long as everyone is getting enough sleep and all are comfy I wouldn't change a thing.

Looks like you have lots of advice so I won't say much. My oldest was in her crib at 6 weeks and my middle child not until 6 mos. -- each child is different and you are different with each child. Check out the book "Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" - it's great and will help you for years to come with sleep issues. I think the key is consistency in whatever you decide. Good Luck!

Hi R.,
There is no need to rush her out of your room if you are not comfortable with it. She is still a baby!

As for people who recommend to get her on her onn now or she will want to sleep with you until she is 18 is sooo not true! Honestly how many teens do you know slleping in their parents bed??

Follow you mommy instincts and do what YOU feel is right for you and your baby :)