February 03, 2007,
P.T. asks from Woodstock, GA on February 02, 2007
Separation Anxiety in My 2 Year Old
Does anyone have advise on how to handle this?
I'm a mommy of two boys, 6 and 2. My 2 year old Justice is going through horrible separation anxiety. I can't get through church, bible study, or aerobics without getting paged. He doesn't like my husband or I to step out of the car to get gas. I work from home and grandma lives with us, I know this is half the problem. That situation isn't changing anytime soon. So we just put him in a part time day care program, but he is having a rough time. As soon as he see the school he is crying. if you say the word school he is crying. My 6 year old wasn't like this, I need help. It's breaking my heart.
S.P. answers from Baton Rouge on February 03, 2007
The fact that it didn't happen to your oldest is nothing to be alarmed about. Their personality differences dictate how they react to different thing.
My son had seperation anxiety and my daughter hasn't. (He's 4, she's 2) and I have a grandma who lives close and is here ALL the time pampering the kids.
Day care.....each child is different. I would talk to the people at his school and try to get by there a couple times during the week. Don't let him see you.....you will probably find out that he is fine and that it is the initial separation that is tough for him. One way or the other....you'll gain some peace of mind that he is not screaming the entire time he is at Daycare. It will take about ONE MONTH for him to adjust well. (This is what several moms told me when I have problems with my son at this age)
All else fails.....trust your instincts. Talk to him about it and reasure him everytime you leave that you will be coming back and that he has nothing to worry about. My mentor always told me to speak to their spirit even thought age wise they may not fully understand their spirit does. So nurture his spirit reading scriptures about how God never leaves us, mommy's are to love their children, family....and trust.
S.W. answers from Atlanta on February 02, 2007
I couldn't tell if you meant that working from home was making him like this.. because I'm a stay at home mom and neither one of my kids went through this. I know a lot of kids who did though, and I just can't say they ever hit on the answer. I think it's a pretty common developmental stage that he'll soon (hopefully) grow out of. I really agree with all Colleen H. said... dont' linger... also don't sneak out... that will only make him more anxious!
A.C. answers from Atlanta on February 03, 2007
I suggest you take him to play group where he can interact with other mothers. He'll get use to being around other sdults while you're still there. Maybe then he won't be so afraid of being without you and around other adults.
A.R. answers from Atlanta on February 03, 2007
I have 5 children and the best advice that I can give you is to loose the school. This boy needs to be with mama a little longer, and that's okay. It's just a need for him, a need that you must meet. Not all children are the same, some need mama more or for longer. I forced pre-school on my first, that was 14 years ago and we both still suffer from it.
C.H. answers from Augusta on February 02, 2007
First you have to realize that ur not a bad mom b/c you leave him at the daycare. Believe me when I say that he isn't sitting there crying and thinking how mean mommy is for abondoning him. He's simply crying b/c he wants to stay with you and can't..nothing more. You are not hurting him in anyway, if anything u are helping him build skills he'll later use.My little boy was the same way and I caved in so many times b/c it hurt me to leave him. But I always told him "Ashton, mommy will be back soon..I PROMISE. And I would always come back and say, see mommy came back. Now he knows that when I promise I will do exactly as I said...even on the small things. And now thats he's almost 4 I tell him to look at the clock and I show him when I'll be back.Don't beat yourself up...he'll be fine. You just got to keep at it and remember not to show him that ur scared either, he will pick up on that and it will make him more scared. Be strong and reassure him you'd never leave ur little boy and encourage him to have fun while ur gone.One last thing, when u are preparing to leave to go somewhere be sure to make it swift. It's best not to stand and dwell, tell him u love him give ur kisses and promptly leave..the more u linger the more he'll cry. Easy as Pie!