R.K. asks from Abilene, TX on November 17, 2009
Separation Anxiety - Coahoma,TX
My two year old has started having major separation anxiety when I leave her anywhere. I am a stay at home mom and she has never had trouble going to Bible class by herself until now. I can't even get her to stay with her dad lately. I have heard this is normal, but it is driving me crazy. Any suggestions would help. Also we have moved recently, but this started before the move even.
1 mom found this helpful
M.A. answers from Houston on November 18, 2009
Here is what you do in a nutshell. I got this from Supernanny. When I joined LA Fitness last year, my two year old would start crying when we pulled in the parking lot!!!
According to Jo Frost, get down on one knee, (their level) calmly and firmly say, "Mommy is going to go to _____, you will stay here for (whatever amount of time) I will be back to get you, you will have fun while I'm gone"
Now, I know it sounds goofy. IT WORKS!!! I did this everyday. After about three days, the crying stopped. You see, kids need to understand that its ok for you to leave. Once you prove to them that you WILL be back, the emotions stop. It is now at the point that we walk in the front door of the gym and she immediately runs to the play area and doesnt look back!!! That stinker doesnt even tell me goodbye!!!
Try this, I guarentee it works!!!!
1 mom found this helpful
A.C. answers from Houston on November 17, 2009
I feel your pain. The separation anxiety around two years old was so bad that I was convinced my daughter was being abused at daycare! It certainly doesn't help that I also have to travel for my job as well and she has to stay with a nanny at night during that time.
I am not sure there is any one thing that will solve it...just strategies to get through it.
First, tell your daughter what is going to to happen. Depending on the length/frequency of the separation, I might start this several days before. Something that happens everyday doesn't need so much warning...when I am about to leave on a trip I start talking about it a few says ahead of time.
You might start talking about bible class and asking her about what she does there the day before. Don't reinforce her fears by saying things like, "I know you're scared"...say more like "What song are you going to sing?".
Second, make the goodbyes short and sweet. Hug, kiss, love you, goodbye.
Third, make a little security album. I made a little book with a story about my job, photos of fun things we've done, family, and our dogs. It only comes out when I travel. I also printed the words to some of the songs I made up about our dogs and some of her other favorites.
Reinforce that you always come back and , if you can, tell her when you will be back. Greet her with, "Look, Mommy said I would be home at/on... Here I am!".
This too shall pass.
C.W. answers from Houston on November 17, 2009
Hi there! have you tried setting up any playdates with the other children in her Bible class? Just might work. Have daddy take her on a fun daddy/daughter date to chic-fil-a or something that she loves!
work at home mommy
N.K. answers from Houston on November 18, 2009
This is normal for that age, and my youngest had seperation aniexty, but it wasn't from me, it was from being away from her older sister (wierd I know). And the only way we could make it better for her was to distract her, give her something to look forward to while her sister had started school. It was only three 1/2 hours, but to her it was a lifetime. So, sometimes we would have to prepare her the night before, to get her ready for the seperation for the next day. We would talk alittle about it, (she was 3yrs) but it would be exciting talk, just making her fill excited for her time without her sister.. then how she would feel when her sister returns. We even went to the extent one time to take her to the store and had her make a poster board to hold up when her sister came home, so she felt it was more exciting to see her then sad to see her go.
hope this helps.
L.W. answers from Austin on November 18, 2009
Mine is going through this right now and I'm doing that mental check list. Is he ill? What's making him so clingy? Is he teething? Is he tired? Hungry?
I mean he's constantly saying "Where's Daddy?" or "Where's Mommy?" and seems aggitated... and destructively into everything...totally opposite of his personality a couple of weeks ago.
So I making sure he's getting his nap etc., reassuring him, and trying to keep him with me more...I know he'll grow out of this, but man is terrible two's hitting him hard!