Separation Anxiety? - Madison, AL

I agree with Robin and Kim. Your little one needs you, and she is asking for her needs to be met the only way she know how to communicate...cry. Picking her up will NOT form any bad habits at this age. Give in, and let the other things go until her needs are met. I have found when I give my little one what he needs, (loving, hugs, playtime,etc.) he will let me do what I need to do without tears. He comes first b/4 the house, laundry, computer, and he reminds me of that all the time! And I am glad he does!!! The letting her cry thing...I personally dont agree with letting them cry. I know when I am trying to tell someone something, and they ignore me, I get frustrated, and if it goes on long enough, the feeling of I am not important enough to be listened to. Our little ones feel the same way. I hope this helps! Good luck!

My advice would be to try to spend as much time as you can with her when you get home, and try to do some house chores after she has gone to bed. I know your tired, I work also and sometimes dont get through with cleaning until late. When we get home from daycare I usually sit down and we play or read and have one on one time, then as Im trying to cook and clean I bring her w/ me she plays with pots on the floor, usually doesnt keep her attention long, then I get back in the floor and play, and cook some more. Sometimes I put her in her high chair to have a snack and sometimes I dance silly while Im cooking! Its hard working outside of the home, but the most important thing is spending time with your little one! I am sure she misses you while she is at daycare and just wants some extra attention.

Well,you're probably not gonna like what I have to say,BUT,you are probably gonna have to let the 'other' things go for a while.She wants her mommy,you've been away all day,and she just wants to have you near her,one on one time,I know you'll think,I've gotta get dinner done ,I've gotta get those clothes done,house cleaned,etc.,but until you have someone else there to help do the chores or to help with her ,it might just HAVE to wait!She wants you,mommy,the clothes will always be there,the dirty house,etc.,but she'll only be your baby once,and believe me ,this 'clingy',I want mommy - phase will disappear in a flash.Being a mom and working is probably the hardest thing I've ever done,I have a 18 yr old & a 15 yr old,that I worked and worried their 'little' years away,I WISH now I could have them back ,to have them cling to me,'cause now they're on there way,doing there thing,and it makes me sad.I now have a 13 mo old baby girl,Devon,and stay at home with her,I seriously don't know how I worked,cared for the house,kept up with the 'Jones' with my boys,I do know they suffered by the 'wait a minute' syndrome so I could get that other stuff (that will always be there)that just HAD to be done!Don't get me wrong,its very hard to stand by and let your house be less than perfect,but...it'll only be that way for so long,and hey if someone doesn't like it,tell 'em they can 'pitch in' at anytime!Good Luck,R.

I have the exact same problem. Because she is in daycare all day she clings to me in the evenings. Because she does not see me for 9 1/2 hours during the day, she needs to be held and cuddled in the evening. I cherish this time with her and I think that we both have seperation anxiety. I let household chores take a back seat to her. For dinner, I eat cereal or somthing very quick so that I can spend as much time with her as possible. She is crawling everywhere but even though she follows me around, she is crying to entire time until I pick her up.
This phase is short lived so enjoy this time with your child and give into her needs.

My son is two and he goes thru that still to this day when is daddy is gone to work. He works 4 12 hour shifts and has four days off, but sometimes he doesnt take all four of those days and he goes back early. And I find myself being the only to explain to him every night that daddy is at work, and when daddy is home he needs to let him sleep. He is okay while his dad is here sleeping but then he goes to work and it all starts over again. I just have to take the time and sit on the floor with him for as long as it takes or at least til my one and a half month old needs me and play cars or something with him and I also reassure him that daddy loves him and will be home soon. Its a stage they go thru or so I am told but mine is still going thru it also. You are right she is okay at day care because there is other kids and things going on. Hopefully when daddy is home more in the evenings that will help you and she will calm down.

I think you should just enjoy it now. She sees you as her comfort and safety net. My first child did this same thing and now my 9mth old is in this phase. I know it is stressful because you know how much you need to get done in the afternoons. Trust me, I feel it too. BUT... in a few months, she will be walking and more independent, and will not want you to hold her as much. I was a little sad when this happened with my first. Now, I realize that life is not about always being organized, or having the perfectly clean house. I wait until he goes to sleep and then do as much as I can until I go to sleep.This is her way of showing her love for you!

That sounds just like my 8 month old. When I take her to daycare she is fine she doesn't cry or even notice me lea ving. She has been like that for about 2 months. I just assumed that I was spoiling her because I was a SAHM for the 1st 6 months so she was used to me holding her all the time. Now that I have gone back to work I can't hold and play with her all the time. I have to cook and clean when I get off. I think it is a balancing act. Trying to balance time spent with her and taking care of household duties. Sometimes you have to let them cry to get stuff done. But I know it just tugs at your heart to see your baby in distress. It will probably be easier when your husbands schedule changes. Just know that you are not alone because my baby is the same way.

hey, i know how you feel. i have a 3 year old and a 16 mo. old, and i'll tell you, they only went to daycare for a short time, but they held the baby ALL day long! after a while, he just wasn't happy unless someone was holding him! i know that sounds very simple, but talk to the ladies at day care and tell them the problem. i had to put my foot down and explain to them that my kids get down on the floor and play! i don't think they stopped holding him all day, but it's worth a try!

my daughter is 8 months old now and she did the same thing around 5 months or so. she would scream and cry if strangers tried to hold her. she pretty much grew out of that and is more friendly to strangers now. but also now she does like your daughter does. when i come home from work she only wants me. she wants to be near me or me holding her the whole time. my husband is home with us, but she just wants me. it's hard to get things done. and it's like if i leave the room or have to go to the bathroom or cook dinner she has a fit because she wants me. i think part of it is that they miss us while we are away at work, even though when we take them to daycare they are fine. i think after we get home and they realize wow mommy was gone all day today well i really need to be with her now because she may go away again. i was reading in the baby magazine that this is good because it shows that they feel loved by us and are comforted by our presence. they just love being with thier mommy, but that makes it hard to get things done. it said that you should try to put her down frequently but a few minutes each time. so while you are trying to do dishes or on the computer put her down beside you for like a minute and then pick her up. and then do it a little while later and let her stay for a few more minutes. it said that the more you do it she will learn that you arent going anywhere and it's okay to sit by herself. i have started to do this with my daughter. it works okay but she still wants me. (i just read the article this week, so i havent given it a long enough try). but one thing that i do is i try to explain to her "mommy has to fix your food right now so give me a second and i will pick you up" so i let her sit near me while i am doing it and let her cry for a little while. not long. just long enough to mix her food up and put it in the microwave. and then when i have a free hand i pick her up. i guess she learns that i will pick her up just not that second when she wants me to. also my hubby will try to distract her and play with her to let me slip off out of her sight to try to get some stuff done. hopefully things will get better when your hubby gets back. i dont know if any of this helps but it is good to know that i am not the only one going through this. and i can so relate on the being on the computer and holding your daughter tryng to type. now that mine is so busy she likes to play with the stuff under the computer desk while i am on it so that keeps her occupied.

I have a 14 mo old that cries when I leave the room, etc and it is beginning to happen when I drop her off at daycare. My husband works 3-11 pm every night and will until January and has since last October. I also have a 5 year old. I just stopped trying to do stuff at night until after Sarah goes to sleep. She is "needy," my baby and my last child. I can't fold clothes, I can't clean and I don't worry about it. I just play with the kids and let them play in the tub and Sarah usually goes to bed pretty early, around 8 and then I am like a mad woman trying to get stuff done. I wouldn't worry about how long is lasts although I know it's frustrating. They go through phases and it will pass. I don't know if that helped, but I do feel your pain!

I might not be the best one to respond to this- I despise day care centers. I am a child care provider and I have worked at day cares with excellent names.... they are all awful! It seems to me that a lot of parents that move their baby out of a day care and into an in-home child care tell me that they have the same problem as you. I mean- all babies go through seperation anxiety, but usually it is when they are not used to being seperated. I just honestly do not think that centers give babies enough attention, and that is the problem.

My daughter Alanna is the same way. It is frustrating. At first, it was flattering that she wanted to be with me so much but NOW.. its keeping me from getting anything done. I know your struggle! I just try to comfort her the best I can but I dont always give in and pick her up. She has to learn to be independent but still needs to know that we are there and not leaving her. Try playing in the floor with her first and if that doesnt work, I just sit at the computer anyway and stop every once in a while to keep her entertained with the toys she has.