Seeking Suggestions on Preschool Issue

Hi E.,
I think most prek programs are play based. I work with my son at home on letter and writing, numbers and such.
With all of the issues you've described here, I would suggest checking out black bear. (www.blackbearpreschool.com) I've heard they have a great program and they use sensory integration toys in all the classrooms. It is pricey though.
Also, I've heard of a placed called learning through play (the website is www.pediatricresources.org, which might be of help to you. Hang in there! There is a solution!
blessings,
J.

1 mom found this helpful

I would talk to the teacher. Since he has just started he may need some adjustment time. It took my daughter until 4th grade!!! Play is how children learn. They learn how to share, take turns, communicate, develop fine motor skills which is needed for writing, develop large motor skills, cause and effect, and how to work in a group. Many preschools base there learning activities on play because that is how children learn best. I have a family daycare and today we learned the sounds of A and B while playing. I did not set the kids down to learn this. We also practice writing while drawing with chalk. They may be playing but they are still learning.

starting school is so hard for kids and parents! don't worry, it will get easier for both of you. he'll become more comfortable once he really learns the routines and gets to know the teachers and kids. it's only natural that you are worried about sending your baby off to school. i think every mom goes through it, but you'll both be fine.
the transition is hard, but doing it now will help him when it comes time to go to kindergarten.
if he has some trouble following directions and enunciating at home, of course it's going to happen at school, too. if you're worried about the teacher not knowing or understanding your child, it is probably a good idea to ask to meet with the teacher. she will understand that you know your child better than she does. it will be good for your child to know that you are communicating with the teacher, too.
as far as your concerns about speech go, the teacher can't just pop him into speech therapy. there is a process that needs to be followed and your input is considered, too. when she knows him better, it will become easier for the teacher to understand his speech. but if the school does think he needs speech services, don't let it discourage you or undermine his accomplishments! sometimes a little extra help early on will really make a big difference in a child's development. just remember that the school really does have your child's best interests in mind if they suggest extra services and don't be afraid to share your viewpoint and/or concerns.
sometimes it's hard to see the learning that is embedded in play, but young children really do learn best through play. at four, learning to socialize with other kids is crucial both for emotional development and future school success. it sounds like your son has faced a lot of challenges early in his life which might make the social piece harder for him. better that he develop those skills now than have trouble relating to other kids later on.
most schools find fun and playful ways to teach kids about letters and give them reasons to write their names. at the very beginning, though, just helping kids adjust, learn the expecations, and get to know each other is really enough for them to manage.
you should also feel free to ask the teacher how she is preparing them for kindergarten, reading, etc.
good luck and try not to worry too much!

Hi E., I was reading back through the responses on this because I'm helping another mom in this same area. The school doesn't always have your child's best interets in mind because they are bound by state and federal laws on how to manage special needs children. One issue in particular I wanted to share with you is whethre or not your child's teacher will be able to assist you with a decision. I am not sure your child's preschool teacher will legally be able to advise any therapy unless you meet with her and maybe the director or speech therapist on staff. I know for sure In a public school setting, unless there is an agreement by the entire evalutaion team to evaluate your child and you sign the agreement, the school will not "suggest" any therapy for your child due to liability issues. If they don't follow the state's process, The public school system can be held liable to pay for therapies not normally provided if they "suggest" anything outside of state's legal evaluation education process for special needs evaluation. Since your child aged out of IE, the least expensive route is to have an Early Childhood program evaluate him or if one isn't immediately available, try a private therapy program evaluate his needs. You are your child's only advocate. Schools and districts run up against many roadblocks like money and staff not educated in handlin special needs children regardless of how mild their case may be. Good luck! -Judy

Hi E., I wanted to add that there is a great therapy clinic on Irving Park called http://www.tuesdayschildchicago.org/
for private therapy. I have heard great things about it! The clinic offers therapy for children and support/learning classes for parents too! good luck!
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Hi E., I went with my gut feeling as well. When my son was 2.5, he wasn't socializing with other kids and his vocabulary was less than 50 words. My son is now 4 years old and went through EI for speech, OT, DT. He has sensory processing issues, auditory delay processing, and did have speech and learning delays. After EI when he turned 3, we enrolled him in an Early Childhood program in our local school district and kept up with private speech and private OT. The Early Childhood program was 5 days per week for 2.5 hours per day. The school district gave us an IEP (Individual Education Plan) to meet our sons needs in school. At that time he needed speech and OT in school as well. The school district is only responsible to provide services to your child that will improve his ability to succeed in school with skills like speech/socialization, fine motor & gross motor skills. Because we learned all this the hard way, we are paying for private speech therapy, OT and work consistently at home with him as well on every day living skills and other skills in addition to school skills. At this time if your preschool is having difficulty with your son, I would suggest researching which schools in your area offer an Early Childhood program and enroll him there. The school should then evaluate him over a 60 day period and meet with you and their eval team to provide their findings and disccuss your child's eligibility for an IEP. The most important thing is to have him ready for Kindergarten. That has been our goal all along. The school will then provide services during his regular school day that will help him improve speech and following directions. You may consider private therapy as well if you feel he won't be caught up in time for Kindergaretn. My son was very unfocused and distracted due to processing issues and had poor fine motor skills. Through diet, therapy, and lots of love, he is in a typical 4 year old preschool classroom this year getting ready for Kindergarten. If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me. Regards, Judy

Poor little boy - my goodness he's only 3 - why does this country insist of pushing children hard from such an early age - it's ridiculous - they need time to be children. My eldest, who is now 9, also had issues developing at an early age with his speech, etc., however, he is now a normal 9 year old boy. Children generally develop at different speeds - boys especially. I worry that these days we over analyse and don't give children the opportunity to develop at their own pace. What is really important at this stage is that they are socialising with other children - communication with other children helps them develop many skills, including speech. I'd make sure he's in some kind of pre-school to enable this. If the teacher isn't being supportive then she is very lazy - unfortunately, you do get teachers that are lazy and want easy children. They have to make room for those that need a little extra support and not just push them out to yet another so called specialist.

Another friend of mine didn't speak until he was 4 years old - he didn't say a word. Now he's an architect and doing very well for himself. Again, another example of children developing at their own pace and when they're ready.

Good luck with your little one and just let him have some fun - he's got plenty of life left to be put under pressure to learn.

It's hard to trust another person with your child. Honestly, I think you should give it longer than a month. Being in preschool is overwhelming for some kids and can take them some time to adjust. I doubt the teacher will jump to the conclusion that he needs speech therapy in less than a month's time. They understand that kids usually become themselves after a few months, once they're comfortable in the new setting. Lots of kids cry at preschool. It's hard when it's your own. I'm a music teacher that has seen several classes of preschool kids. I can tell you that the ones that did terribly the first month of school, were doing great by spring! It's not sink or swim. The teachers and their aides are there for your kids (at least at my school they are).

If you have a bad feeling about the school in general, you should definitely shop around. Just realize, it will be more difficult for your son to adjust if you pull him out repeatedly. You can also decide on sending him to a differently structured preschool (montessori).

Worst case scenario, she does advise therapy, you have every right to deny/delay it. It can simply be something that may improve once he becomes more comfortable at school. Try not to anticipate the worst. I know it's hard - you care immensly for your son, but you might inadvertently will it to happen! Ask a lot of questions but be willing to be open to suggestions.

Hi E.,

I completely understand your concerns. I would suggest that you set up a meeting with the teacher to discuss your concerns and goals for your son. Often the early days are simply play, but if you articulate that you'd like him to learn letters and writing his name perhaps you could get a better idea of a timeframe. You could also give her tips to cope with the mumbling - perhaps the speech therepist had him repeat or slowly sound the words...

Good luck.

He will learn how to spell his name. He will learn to count to 30 and then in another moment he will be counting to 80. He will learn these things and he will do it while playing. Do not worry about the learning vs playing. At this age, the play is the learning. At the end of the day, he will have mastered those things you think he should know. But, and this is the truth, those things you think he should master, like spelling his name and counting to 80.... those are NOT going to be the most important things he will have learned in Pre K. What he is really learning is how to navigate and communicate with others. He is learning to communicate which can be difficult with a speech issue. Please do not worry. At this age, make sure he is comfortable with the teachers. The learning will happen before you even know it! Also, while speech therapy is important, know that he will grow out of it and let him know that it will all work out. If you are not wigged about it, he won't be. If the teacher recommends it, let her know you are taking a break from it for a bit. Good Luck Momma!!

Check out the Black Bear school, www.blackbearpreschool.com. It was a wonderful place for our son to start school, as he had speech issues. They are not inexpensive, but they would understand your son completely and be able to work with him and continue the work you have already begun.

Good luck!

I suggest you reach out to the school counselor and request a team meeting, asking the teacher to put all expectations/requirements on the table and then, with the counselor's help, determine what makes sense for your child. I believe that you could request an evaluation at this age to determine if you need a 504 or IEP, but frankly, he is so young that his challenges might simply be transitional to a new environment and have nothing to do with needing special classroom care.

You are your child's best advocate and you know your child better than the best teacher. Don't back down and warm wishes to you for success.

E.,
It's really important to keep in mind that some people may not understand your child's condition. Personally, if I were working with a child with some kind of learning challenge I would be understanding to that fact. Anyone can become frustrated if they are expecting too much for a child of any age that may not be neuroligically ready for certain developmental milestones. Just make sure that wherever you choose to go that they are aware of any conditions your child might have and that should help alleviate some of the confusion. Stay prayerful and things will work out!

D.

Both my kids ages 3 and 4and 1/2 received early intervention services and both my kids are in preschool--they both still have speech issues. The are at St. Benedicts and although the teachers sometime have trouble understanding them, Tommy who is in his second year of preschool learned a TON last year. I do get the feeling that it makes both of them more nervous since the other kids don't understand them. After early intervention, both kids got tested at the Chicago Public Schools and are receiving 1/2 hour a week of speech. It gives me somewhere to go to get an idea how significant the delays are and if they need more. If you still have the info on your early intervention coordinator they should be able to tell you how to contact the public school in your area. You could also check with your peditrician. I added private therapy for Tommy this year as his issues are more significant--he loves it! More than preschool. He also likes the therapy at the public schools--we are in the Audubon school district. Hope this helps--let me know if you have more specific questions...

I would ask for the school district to evaluate him, just for peace of mind. The fact that he qualified for 4 different types of therapy in EI sends up red flags for me...my son only qualified for ST, and after fighting, OT, since he was 15 mos, but qualified for our district's full preschool program at 3 and 4.

My other advice is, if he's frustrated then he needs help. My daughter never qualified for Speech through EI or school, but she was getting very frustrated b/c she had trouble communicating and having us understand her. We had her evaluated privately at 6 years old, and after a few months of ST, we are able to communicate and understand each other much better. It was worth the money for her (and us) not to be frustrated. I know it was affecting my daughter's self-esteem as well, and that's hard to repair the longer it goes on....

Good luck..

E., I don't know any schools around your house but you go with your gut instincts. What is all of this therapy and early intervention and who knows what else at the tiny age of three? Who is deciding all of this and on what basis? Perhaps he is just not ready. I am a little weary with people labeling children and designating how their personalities should be before they are even potty trained. You can't possibly enjoy your son if you are listening to a million people out there pegging him for one thing or another. Is he happy where the school is, then leave him-if not take him out. It is your child not theirs. Sometimes teachers do not have the correct experience, or the patience to deal with certain people. I am sure there are a million places for your son if you want him in a program. If you are a Stay at Home mom why don't you take him out and enjoy him a little longer. He will grow up. He will learn his alphabet. Let him watch Sesame street and listen to counting songs. What does he need speech therapy for? His teeth are still baby teeth, his words may not be formed or sound correct for a large variety of reasons including cultural or medical backgrounds. Sounds to me like you can keep him with you a little longer. He might be ready again in six months, who knows.And start listening to you, you sound like a fine caring mother and now it's your turn to decide what you want for this beautiful baby.

I compliment you on making sure your son goes to school. However, it is not age appropriate for him to be learning to write his name. A play based school setting is important at his age; the rest come later after he has a good beginning in how to follow directions and communicate.

If your son mumbles and does not follow directions well, you need to look further into an evaluation.

His first few years of school are so important, and if he can't feel understood, or understand whst is going on in class, it will be very frusterating to him wherever he goes unless he has the proper assistance.