Seeking Sheduling Help

I guess you noticed most people are saying "How do we do it?!? We DON'T! How do YOU do it?" Or maybe "WHY are you doing that to yourself?"

But I think I know - you see that your kid enjoys something, so you knock yourself out to make it happen, if you have to move heaven and earth to do it. But I'll bet most of those other women dropping off those kids don't work, at least not as much as you. And most probably don't have a younger sibling, too.

Is there something you can find at his school? Some schools and daycares offer a Playball program which is carefully designed especially for young children. It's once a week for 1 hour - *that's* more typical of the after-school programs for that age group. (And no running around for you, since he's already there.)

If his school doesn't have anything like that, do they maybe have a "stay and play" program where the children have plenty of unstructured playtime as well as games and activites? That's what they really need at this age rather than structured, organized sports anyway. I know the City of Roswell offers some afterschool programs that are reasonably priced and don't take up 8 hours a week. You didn't say where you live, but check your local parks and recreation office - usually the price for local residents is 30% cheaper (since many of these programs are subsidized by through local taxes). You'll probably have to call them because it can be difficult to find the progam information online. Tumblebus, the Little Gym, bouncing around at a Monkey Joe's every now and then - stuff like that.

If you happen to be in Roswell, you can download the Fall program brochure here. Be patient, it's big.
http://www.roswellgov.com/index.php/p/394/t/Fall/Winter%#...

Sometimes it isn't even the parents pushing the kids - the kids push themselves to exhaustion. If he loves it, it may be hard to stop, but maybe he'll get tired of it by the time the season ends.

That's HEAVY load at any age, not just for the kids, but for the mom running them around. I think you need to scale back before your daughter gets old enough to start wanting extra activities or you are going to lose YOUR mind. When your life is constantly *that* hyper-scheduled, just one backed up toilet or flat tire becomes a crisis.

By the way, did you mean to say 14 instead of 4? I didn't realize they had programs like that offered for 4 year olds. And then you said something about "schoolwork" and "study time"? Isn't he in preschool? I'm wondering if you meant to type 14 because... this just doesn't make sense to me. No offense or anything.

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I am afraid that this schedule is going to get OLD very fast. I won't leave any time for you and your husband and just plain family time cause you and your son will be too tired.

Hi S.,

I've read the other responses and I have to agree with the majority here. It sounds like too much for you and your children. I know it's hard when your child loves something so much and you just want them to be happy. My daughter would love to play every sport she sees, but I have to be the objective one and decide what is right for her at this stage of her life. She's 5, takes TweKwondo 2x a week (30 min each), and has just started Cheerleading in the Upward program (1 hour per week). Sometimes that feels like too much and I'm a SAHM and she's an only child. There've been some great suggestions on how you can make this schedule work (ie: snacks, uniform in the car) but I think the best suggestion is for you to take a step back and decide if this is the right program for your son. Check in your area and see if you can find another program that is not as time consuming and a better overall fit for your family. That's just my opnion. Take it or leave it. You're in my prayers. Good Luck!

T. D

My response may sound mean or blunt, but WHY ON EARTH DOES A 4 YEAR OLD HAVE HOMEWORK AND NEED TO STUDY?!?!?!??! I would seriously reconsider whatever program you have him in if they're sending homework home with a 4 year old. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! Also, football sounds great -playing and physical exercise is what a 4 year old needs to be doing -NOT homework -BUT 4 practices of 2 hours a week?!?! Have people lost their minds? HE'S 4! This sounds like a much older child's schedule, and if it's not -it needs to be. I suggest finding a different football program for him -I've heard of several through churches and whatnot that only involve 1 practice per week, and again -have a SERIOUS talk with whoever is giving him homework. He's not even in kindergarten!

Hi,

You could try to work out car pooling with other parents.
Just make sure to be clear about your schedule and what you can and can't do. Having boundaries and guidelines up front can save you.

S.--No 4 year old should be playing football for 2 hours /4 days a week. And, what study time does a 4 year old need? If your child were 14, it'd be one thing, but 4? Pull him from this program and find one that is more geared to his age and your schedule.

Have you heard of www.flylady.com ? It will help you with some of the stuff. Deb

I agree that 8 hours a week is too much for a 4 year old. That seems like a lot for a highschooler! I would not (and could not, due to time) agree to that many days/hours. For that age, one day a week for 30 to 60 minutes is plenty (w/ games on the weekend). I'm not even sure my preschooler could focus on anything for much longer :).

Hi, I was able to work wonders by simply taking my child's practice uniforms with us in the mornings, that way I could cut out the extra trip back home and drive safely! I pack toiletries into baggies and it all goes into a gym bag which saves me a lot of time.

I question the value of a football program that has such an aggressive schedule for a FOUR year old. Seriously, that's what high school football programs include. We did soccer this spring for the first time (at age five) and it was an hour total one day a week (Sunday). Half the time was for drills and skills, the second half for a non-competitive scrimmage. Clearly there are enough people willing to sacrifice valuable time with their four year olds doing football to put together a team. At what cost? You're description sounds like your life is rather miserable doing all this back and forth. I don't think it's worth it. Your son needs to be playing out in the yard after school, not PLAYING football.

I am also work full time (just started up again) with 2 little ones. I have found that anything I can pepare in advance really helps out. For you, having the football uniform in the car when you pick your son up could save you the trouble of going all the way home. If you already have a sandwich, quesadilla, or something of the like prapeared and in the car, he can eat that on the way to practice. If your not a food-in-the-car person, it could make for a nice picnic when you get there, perhaps with a few extra minutes to look over his studies and talk about the day. The key for us is to just combine tasks and prepare meals ahead of time. I'm sure you will find a great way to make it work for you and your children! Good luck!

Hi S.,
That is just way too much practice for a 4-year-old! Have you looked into Upward Sports? They are starting flag football now, and they only practice one hour each week.
Good luck!

I must say that although I am a huge believer in organized sports and activites, that does seem like way too much for a 4 year old. I could understand it if he were older and it was travel ball, but he should only be practicing 1-2 times a week with a games on the weekends.

Have you thought about bringing his uniform with you in the car and just going straight from the school? Maybe then you would have a little time to grab a quick bite for dinner or have 30 minutes to do any school work(for a 4 year old?) that needs to be done before practice starts or at least spend some time together.

WOW....That is a crazy schedule. I was especially shocked to read that your son is only 4 years old, is playing football, and the practices are 4 days a week for 2 hours a day. I think that this is WAY TOO MUCH for a 4 year old child. I had that kind of schedule in high school when I did sports.

My advice is to simplify your life. I know that your son likes sports but his schedule is not benefitting him or your family. He has years ahead of him to play sports. If you really want to find an activity for him to do, choose one that is only 1 day a week.

My BIL is a Radiologist and he was just commenting the other day how parents are overscheduling their children with sports activities and how children are facing serious injuries. He said that one little girl got a hip fracture from playing soccer.

Obviously, this is your family and you know what is best for your family. I just think that if you are stressed now with your schedule, that it will be impossible once they get older.

Good Luck!! :)
A.

First of all let me say WOW, I can not believe that a 4 year old has practice 4 days a week, 2 hours at a time. That is utterly amazing to me, yet my son is only 18 months old so I haven't yet experienced the joys of rushing a little boy around. Have you considered hiring a nanny to help you out just after school hours?? Or a local CSU student who does not have evening classes that you can pay to help you shuttle and entertain the children until you can get there. Both of my daughters are in dance but its no longer then one hour every week, and depending on which school your daughter goes to and which dance studio you want her to go to some mothers do car pooling. I still can't get over a 4 year old in 8 hours of practice every week, that is amazing to me!

Hi S.!

I "pre-pare." I take the uniforms with me and go straight to practice often with a meidum sized snack that they eat in the car. During the drive we catch up on life and the day's events. I then go home after dropping my child off at practice most days. At home I take care of the needs of my younger child like dinner, bath, and bonding time. I throw the younger child in the car right after bath time and we head back to practice to pick up my eldest. Once we get home I give the older child his bath and prepare a small dinner. It usually consists of oatmeal or something along those lines because a full dinner is too heavy for 8pm in my mind. I put the children to bed, throw in a load of laundry and relax for a few minutes!! Ha,ha. Good luck!!! It is a burden but if it is something your child enjoys, sports are an amazing aspect of life. I grew up playing 3 different ones and loved every minute of it.

I agree with others that you can over do it with so many things but if thats something you choose to do then you may have to organize your time. I work 12 hour shifts 3 days a week and I never get home before 8 on those nights. But I make menu's so I always know what we're having for dinner and make sure it's something easy on those nights, pizza, hot dogs, etc. and then catch up on the nutritional meals when I have time to cook. Give him a nutritional snack that he can eat in the car and that will buy you a little time until after practice. Take his uniform with you to work so you don't have to go back home. My husband works longer hours than I do and is not much help for me but maybe yours can help occasionally either with practice or have dinner cooked when you get home. Good luck!

Wow! 4 years old? That much practice time is unreasonable for a child at this age AND until 7:30 PM! Do they realize that children at that age (and older) SHOULD be starting their bedtime routine during that time? Unreal. I would consider checking into another football program that is better customized for children his age. Practice shouldn't be more than an hour and especially not 4 days a week. That much time will not benefit him at this age...only stress him (and you) out and cause too much grief for your family. I would complain and I wouldn't do it. Sorry that I offer no other advice. Not that I don't have any. I am just concerned that there is an organization that is like that. GOOD LUCK!

Hi S.,
Get ready: this football thing is crazy. My son did it when he was 6, and thank God he only did it for that one season. I thought I would lose my mind. Not only were there practices every night - rain OR shine - but I had to spend ALL DAY there on SATURDAY as well for the games. It is a VERY demanding sport. Expensive, too - I spent around $300 for gear and fees. And the people that lead it take it WAY seriously, too. I notice you might be a single mom, and I was at the time my son did it, too, and it about wore both of us out! But the positive side was that he got to spend a lot of time with other guys and there were some good dads there as well. His father would take him to the games on his weekend so he got to share in that. You get to meet other moms and talk a lot. Just bring your chair, something to read or do, and try to get to know the people on the team. Your kid learns a lot about what it means to work together as a team. No matter what, if he finishes out the season he'll get a trophy and they LOVE that. That's all I can tell you. You'll probably have to find someone to watch your two-year old while all this is going on. You'll be expected to bring food for the team when it's your turn, and help with the end-of-the-season banquet. Don't feel bad if you decide it's not for you but if it turns out it is, then more power to you, I admire for trying! Good luck.

I have a very active 7 year old boy and 5 1/2 year old boy. At 4 years of age the max you should be practicing ANY sport is 1 hour a week with 1 game a week. Someone else already mentioned Upward Sports. For the Pre-K and Kindergarten aged league the kids don't even have a weekday practice. They practice for 1/2 hour on Saturdays with a 1/2 hour game that immediately follows practice. We just moved to GA but did Upward Sports in TX. I highly recommend the program...it is a wonderful way to have your kids play sports. Also, try your local YMCA if Upward isn't available near you.

You are doing more for your 4 year old than I do for both of my 2 boys combined and people have told me that I am staying too busy!! (Mine both play a sport--1 hour practice plus a game a week//take piano lessons--1/2 hour lesson a week plus practice at home//and my 7 year old is in Cub Scouts-1 hour meeting 1 time a week).

Please make sure your boy is still having FUN being 4 and digging in the dirt in the back yard!! The football team that your son is on seems WAY too competitive for 4 year olds.

Good luck!!

My sons are 6 and 18months. My oldest has played soccer for 3 seasons. As long as their under six they only practice once a week and play a game once a week.

I've never heard of any sport/team practicing four times a week for two hours. I hope I'm not hurting your feelings but it sounds like too much. You may want to check out another football league.

I just moved my son up to Under 8 league and now we have practice 2 times a week one hour each.

Yes it is very hard having a full-time job and trying to keep your kids active. Since you don't pick your child up until 5:00 I am assuming he is in aftercare/daycare or something. Does he study and do homework while he is there? We all want our children to be smart, but we also don't need to overload them with school work. If you feel he needs extra attention then just work with him on school work on the weekend. And why don't you just bring his football uniform with you in the morning so that you don't have to go home to get it. That way you won't be rushing. Also do you have to stay at practice with him? If not then you can drop him off and go home and fix dinner since his practice is so long. I have never really heard of practice being that long for a 4yr old though. My daughter played soccer, but they only met once a week for an hour. If you are looking to get your daughter in dance classes some places offer them on Saturdays. That is when my daughter takes hers. Hope that helps you.

Hi S.,

Here's another perspective... As a teacher, I had a student (then - 4th grader - 8 years old) who was practicing football with the same frequency as you describe. He was incredibly bright but had a really hard time that year because he was exhausted from practice, and his body naturally chose sleep over schoolwork. In a conference with his mom, she told me that he loved the sport and he was very talented (all of which I believed), but I had to ask her if the intensity of the program was worth the sacrifice of his education (not to mention how worn out he always seemed). I can only imagine that at the age of four they aren't actually playing football but yet doing themed activities. Surely there is another way that he can enjoy football play without dedicating so much time to it at such a young age.

Good God, girl. You'll be dead before he's in middle school! This is the kind of schedule that's tough on high schoolers - there's no way I would have done it when my boy was 4. And does he really have studying to do at four years old? Maybe I need more details, but this schedule doesn't sound healthy to me for any of you.

That is the most insane practice schedule I've ever seen for a child in youth sports let alone for a 4yr old!!! My Daughter has been playing soccer for years either through the Y or here on Base and it's only been 2 days a week till games start and only an hour a time-she's now 8yrs!! First off, double check the practic schedule that you have the days and times right. Then if they are, you need to talk with the coach and other parents about it, I'm sure you aren't the only one with an issue here (heck, you all should have one with having your 4yr olds practicing like that anyways!!) and then if that doesn't get it changed to something more reasonable, go to whom ever does the sports (park department, YMCA, etc) and see what they say. All in all, your son may love the sport but that is way too much for such a young child to take on and you having to balance your work, his schedule, dinner and school work on top of it all-if no one will budge and reduce the days and hours, then I think you might want to seriously consider pulling him and getting a refund!!

S.

I guess I'm going to repeat what a lot of others have said. First of all, does he really have a lot of school work at 4 years old? Also, my kids go to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 and even with that it's a stuggle to get them up at 6:15 for school (they are 5 and 6 years old). I, too, have been struggling with them wanting to do activities that will fit into our schedule. They both do karate two times a week. The schedule is flexible, so we have a choice of M-TH or Sat classes. My son wanted to try t-ball this year and we signed him up through i9sports.com. There are no evening practices... they practice and play only on Saturday mornings. I figure if he decides he really likes the sport, then next time we can look into something more intense. I really think 8 hours of practice per week is pretty unreasonable for a 4 year old. If you're already committed to it, then I'm not sure how I'd handle it, except to say I think at this age he can go easy on his "studies" at home. Oh... I will add that we do some "studying" in the car on the way to and from karate. My daughter will do her required reading, or we'll practice out loud simple math, identifying coins, etc... I'm a SAHM and I'm still struggling to figure out how to fit in all they want to do, so I can't imagine how hard it is for you!

You are going to run yourself and your children ragged. It's one thing to enjoy a sport, it's quite another thing to dedicate all of a four year old's (and your) free time to it. You both need time to be together as a family, to eat dinner together, to unwind and to re-energize. A four year old needs time to study? I have five children, ages 15 months to 11 years. My 11 year old goes to piano lessons once a week and Boy Scouts once a week. My 7 and 9 year old take gymnastics together once a week (which is right by and at the same time as piano, thus saving us a trip). We were going to gymnastics twice a week (and my children love it), but that was starting to stretch me too thin. My 9 year old also goes to Cub Scouts once a week. Each activity is only either 30 minutes or an hour and 15 minutes. This seems like a lot of activities to me, and I will not take on any more. This is our max. I will not enroll my 5 year old in any organized activity for a couple more years. She is too young to be that scheduled. One of the biggest problems in our society today is the overscheduling of children and families. How do I do it? Well, I work from home, so that makes my time more flexible, and the kids are home by 4 p.m. so that gives us a larger window to work with. If you absolutely feel this is necessary thing, and can't find a program with fewer days and shorter hours, take the uniform with you, pack a sack dinner for everyone (keep refrigerated at work), and do the best you can. If he were to go once a week for an hour (preferrably starting when he's about 7 or 8) and eventually your daughter went for an hour once a week, that would be do-able. Your kids need to see you. They don't see you all during the day and now this. This will burn you all out.

Why would anyone have a 4 year old practicing 2 hours a night 4 nights a week!!!??? That is just crazy. We coached 4 year old t-ball and the kids couldn't concentrate for more than 20 minutes. At 4 the idea should be to get an idea of the game and have fun. This can't be fun for the kids or the parents and everyone will get burned out before he is 5!! Even my son's U-19 soccer team only practices 2 nights a week for one and on-half hours! and his High school team did the same.

Well, I don't know ....`I have 3 boys and after a long talk with a neurology doctor for kids which he is very well respected in not just Ga but some other doctors out of state know him ( I was surprised) anyway....I talked to him when I decided to wait to put one of my boys in kindergarten and he had 3 boys and only took care of kids....I asked him what he thought about sports for 4,5 yr olds and he said to me he felt that parents influence kids into what they want and parents should wait until the ages of maybe 8-10 yrs old. He helped me decide to wait for one of my kids to go to kindergarten and was also correct about another childs injury of mine (even after I went and got 2 other opinions) so I respected him very much. I felt and kinda still do (and please I'm not trying to insult you) that kids need to not run on empty with such a schedule until maybe only. I feel kids need to have more family time at young ages and always to me school is first or else my boys won't get to have a sport. I understand little ones need to burn off energy and may really enjoy something like that but he's so young and has years to live this kind of schedule. Sorry, I don't know many moms that have this schedule actually none the moms I know and I've still got my youngest one is prek this year all have there kinds in bed by 8:30 maybe sometimes 9:00. Actually I'm not sure there is a solution to your situation about the time other then someone else like a sitter pick him up and take him to practice and you meet there or maybe you take no lunch and ask your employer to allow you to leave earlier. As far as study kids don't do well late at night you could have someone do studies with him again a sitter that will tutor and help with homework. That's all i can offer as a suggestion and I hope it all works out for what is good for your family, best wishes.

Rebekah's advice is perfect, take it!