Seeking Other Gastric Bypass Patients Who Are Having Problems like Me

sounds like you are clinically depressed. Girl talk to a doctor and get on some meds! Nothing wrong with it, You need to be on something NOW! The meds and councilling will help!!!

I have a GREAT psychologist i went to before I had lapband done. She is wonderful her name is Jusy Anderson she is in Arlington. if you have any questions PM me

Bless your heart, P.! Thank you for opening up and reaching out! I've not had that surgery, although, I can imagine a little of what you are talking about between the lines. But I've had my share of problems--most people have, so there are lots of people who can come along side you and share your pain and encourage you.

Finding a friend nowadays is well nigh impossible--with the air conditioners keeping us inside and the computers keeping our attention. But I have a friend who is always there for me.

I have a friend who sticks closer to me than a brother, who understands what I'm going through with my weight, my body image, my husband, my kids, the cooking and cleaning, my parents and in-laws and family, shopping, excercise, meal planning, wardrobe planning--who understands my fears, my venting, my joys, my sorrows--who understands my feelings when my husband wants me and when he doesn't...

My friend encourages me to keep going when I don't feel like it, pushes me when I need it, lets me rest when I need it, sends me gifts to let me know I'm loved and cared for, always listens to me. I know that I need never feel alone, because my friend is, amazingly enough, always with me--and will never leave me. Ever.

Through good times and bad, ups and downs, hard work and rest, joy and sorrow, fear and surgeries, even if my husband is inconstant and my children are ungrateful and friends don't reach out to me and people are judgemental--My friend is always there, loving me, encouraging me, listening to me, talking to me.

You may have heard of my perfect friend, who is also like a perfect father and a perfect husband. But whatever you've heard, I'm sure it hasn't done him justice, because you've never gotten to know him and have him be your friend--I know that because you feel lost--with him you'll be found, you feel overwhelmed--with him you'll have your burdens lifted, you feel alone--with him you'll never be lonely, you feel betrayed--with him you'll feel secure. Safe. Loved. Peace.

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, but he already knows you. He is with you now, calling your name, waiting for you to turn to him and respond.

His name is Jesus--your creator, your rescuer, your perfect friend. He will gently lead you to healing and peace. I know, because that's what he's done for me--is still doing for me.

Call on his name--Jesus--the lover of your soul--the one who brought you safely this far, and wants to make your life glorious--just trust him. Listen to him and do what he says and you will be free--found--safe always.

Email me if you want to talk.

~A.

I think you have already received wonderful advice but I thought my life's experience was very similar and I wanted to share it with you.

Growing up I was not considered attractive and my family was on the lower end of the money scale. I always thought that if I were pretty and had a big house, husband and lots of money then I would be happy. (Careful what you wish for) In my early 20's all my dreams came true or so I thought, but instead of being happy I too found myself in a deep depression, it seemed the more I got the worse I felt. Even tho I had everyone telling me how lucky I was and for the most part I knew it, I couldn't shake the feeling of whats wrong with me, how come I'm not happy, If I have everything I ever wanted why am I still feeling empty,alone and sad. I thought I was crazy. It took years for me to realize that all the money in the world cant buy peace or happiness. I was looking for material things and beauty to make me feel whole and I had acheived that yet I still felt like I had something missing and I did.
I came to find Christ and he filled the emptiness in my heart my life now has purpose and it has changed me completely. I cant begin to explain how happy I am now. I feel I went through the bad times in my life so I could be a witness to others just like you. I have so much to share with you but I don't want this letter to drag on. Feel free to conact me if you like.
Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, sometimes we have the answer and power (ruby slippers to return home) all along but we need to experience the journey to be truly thankful, and we need someone to share the answer with us. God has a plan and a purpose for you. It's never too late to seek him. Your not alone, I've been where you are now. Please let me know if I can help. God Bless.

I had lap-band and there were a few months that I was "mental" as I call it. My attitude about myself was changing plus I could see others reacting differently to me. It made me angry that people who had ignored me for years suddenly were nicer or there were many who didn't even recognize me. I got support through a great forum, www.obesityhelp.com. Although you have lost the weight, you are still on the journey. Be proud of yourself! Good luck to you!

Dear P., I also had the surgery four years ago. Please know that you are NOT alone!! Many of us have had difficulty with all the changes (physical, mental and emotional) that accompany this surgery. It is hard for someone who has not gone through this experience to understand how profoundly a person can be affected. You need a good support system, some counseling and possibly medication to help you overcome the feelings of lonliness and desperation you are feeling. Emotional pain when severe enough can cloud all the good things about your life. I saw a counselor after my surgery and it probably saved my life. There are lots of good suggestions already posted and you would likely benefit from some or all of them. The first thing you need to do is see a therapist. Please give Mark Felber a call and go talk to him--no matter what. He is kind, compassionate and very experienced and will help you get to the bottom of what is really troubling you and fix it. It goes much deeper than your relationship to food or the surgery--those only opened the door. Mark's number is ###-###-####. You are extremely depressed and it sounds as if you need some medication to ease the symptoms while you are working on the cause(s) through counseling. Please go see your doctor immediately and tell him or her exactly what you have told us so that he or she can prescribe something to help you get through this very rough time. There is no need for you to be suffering in this way! You didn't mention who did your surgery and from your comment about not knowing anyone else who has had the open procedure I suspect you don't know about or have never attended any weight loss surgery support group meetings. There are a number in the Dallas area that anyone who has had a bypass can attend no matter who did your surgery. I highly recommend that you go to one. If you need assistance finding a group please email me privately. You are not alone, P.! You will be in my prayers.

P.,

It has been a few days since you wrote you post. How are you doing today?

No one can image what you are going thru unless they have experienced it, I understand. However, depression effects many women for many different reasons. Yours just happens to have manifested itself through an alteration caused to your body.

P., for someone to have gone through what you did with the surgery, you must have really wanted to lose the weight...and you accomplished that. Congratulations!

Visit your Doctor to discuss how to deal with the feelings before you push everyone away.

Be proud of yourself for you have won the battle you set out to undertake. Stop concentrating so much on what you look like. Start the journey of feeling terrific of what you have done!

BizeeMom.com

P.,

You have received some wonderful advice. I have not had the surgery, I have struggled with my weight since I became an adult. I am 34 and been with my husband for 16 years as well. We have had arguments about my weight & health, and by some miracle, he has stuck with me...We now have a 2 1/2 year old and are expecting twins in another month or so.

The reason I felt compelled to write you is to remind you of how important you are to your children & that you are valued. I am not sure of the ages of your children- but they will always need their mom- no matter how rebellious they become. My mom was overweight her entire life, she hid behind her weight. When I was 12, she had uterine cancer, then when I was 17 she was diagnosed & passed away from lung cancer within 4 months. Years later, I found out that she was so embarrassed & held captive by her weight, she was afraid to go into the MRI machine. There may have been a chance that they could have found the cancer prior to it getting to her lungs. So- although my mom didn't end it, in a way, she slowly gave up. She fought depression since I was 5.

I miss her everyday. She's been gone 16 years. So- don't ever feel like your children would be better without you. Even your husband. My dad has so many regrets.

Definitely seek out some form of counseling- you need someone who is a professional- trained to assist. We all can give you advice, but that person can give you steps on how to help yourself & teach you how to value yourself. You've taken care of the physical, now, it's time to catch up the emotional. It's hard...I still struggle with it (the emotional), but I would rather struggle than just let it get the best of me.

I can relate to the quiet side/shyness... we moved out here 5 years ago, I haven't really been working- which would be one way I would make friends, but now, I've reached out & found a church that I enjoy & am building friendships that way. When I feel as though I just want to hibernate, I think of my daughter & these babies, and know that I need to get out there for them.

Be strong. We all have those moments, I am hoping you are having one of those. You matter!

Take Care & God Bless you and your family.

HI P.,

My mother had Gastric bypass 1 1/2 years ago, she did have some issues at first but with a great support system she is doing much better.

I would be very happy to help you with this issue. I'm a Reiki Healer/Master and while I do charge, this situation calls for help without a charge. If you interested in Reiki, I would be more then happy to do it. If you haven't heard of Reiki, please read this www.reikigailhudson.com

Your not alone.

Rev. G. Hudson

P.,
I don't think this has much to do with the surgery. Yes, your life changed, but seriously, you need to seek professional help. You are experiencing some severe emotional, probably hormonal, and self concept issues. Do not make any rash decisions right now....you will regret it. Seek help from a professional ASAP!!! I don't know if you believe in Christ....but you can find your hope in Him. "For I know the plans I have for you P.," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 He DOES NOT want you to live like this. Pray P., if you do believe....in order to listen though, you must instill some quiet in your day...in order to 'hear' Him. Also, I think of my daily prayer "rejoice in the Lord Always, again I will say: rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. THE LORD IS NEAR. Be anxious about NOTHING but in EVERYTHING (big and little), by prayer and petition, bring your requests to God, and the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding (that means when peace does not make sense), will GUARD your heart and MIND in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7
Sounds like you have so much going for you.....take care of yourself.....seek someone to help you. You are trying to deal with a lot all by yourself and that is not necessary. Reach out, be "Bold and Courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) and allow yourself to enjoy this life that you are given....even much smaller than you were. It can be a blessing not a curse. I hope someone on here has a recommendation for you to seek out.....professionally.

P.~

It sounds like you might be suffering from depression. I have depressive tendencies too. I get meds to help with mine, as alot of it is genetics for me. Dr. Frank Minirith who I recommend. The number is 1-888-MINIRITH. The address is: The Minirth Clinic P.A.,1200 E. Collins Blvd.,Suite #300, Richardson, TX 75081 Check out the website for some explainations of depression http://www.minirthclinic.com/digest-downloadpg1.html
Dr. Minirith also has a group of counselors that can work with you, and he can tell you who deals the most with situations like yours. This site is about a program that he offers, my friend went to this with great success: http://theminirthchristianprog.com/ Please do not do nothing about this. You are wonderfully made! If you want to contact me, feel free to do so. ~prayerfully, K.

just pick up your phone and dial 211. It is a directory for all kinds of assistance. They can help get you to the help you need. You are very brave to ask for help, make the call, it's there for you.
God Bless

P.,
Let me start out by saying that you are certainly not alone! I have not had the surgery you've had but have myself delt with depression and severe feelings of loneliness. It can add to depression that you feel this way knowing that you have a loving family around you who would love nothing more than for you to get some help so you can enjoy life again. I seriously suggest and urge you to talk to your physician. They could recommend anitanxiety/antidepressant medication and also a counselor you could speak to. Believe me, it will help! It will not make you into a different person, but it will help you to put things into perspective and be the encouragement you need to seek further healing. I hear it is very common for people who have had gastric bypass to have severe depression as they have experienced such a major change in their lives. Please don't be ashamed to ask for and to receive help! Your life and that of your 4 beautiful children are worth it! God bless you P. and I will be praying for you and your family!

If you don't know where to start, let me give you the name of my primary care physician. She has been treating me for depression for a while now and is completely understanding and non judgemental. You would not regret seeking her help! Her name is Dr. Joyce Stroud and she is at Southlake Family Medicine. Her phone number is 817/424.3366.

Hi P.. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this. You are absolutely correct that you are not alone in your post-surgery issues. Have you asked the doctor who did your surgery to refer you to a counselor? I know quite a few people who have done lap-band, sleeve, etc. Their weight loss results have varied -- some have lost too much, some not enough (in their opinion), others have had good success... but the issues that caused them to be overweight in the first place did not go away. If your doctor does not offer a good referral, try your church, or maybe your health insurance includes an Employee Assistance Program that can help. There is someone out there who can help you take control of your life. You and your family are going through a lot right now so please don't rush into any decisions about your marriage or your life. Know that you have a purpose on this earth and that there are people who love you and support you. I bet you will get a lot of good ideas from the Mamasource mamas. Good luck. I am praying for you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

First of all...kudos for being so couragous in getting the surgery you felt you needed to help you be here longer for your kids. And kudos for taking the first step in asking for help.

Please take the advice of all these wonderful ladies. Go to your doctor tell him/her this same thing....tell him you need help. This does not make you weak, it shows how strong again you are being to get you to the healthy level you need to be for your kids.

You are NOT alone in this. Please, if you need anything, send me a PM on here. I'd be glad to listen!

P.,
There is a common thread here, God and professional counselling. Together they work. I take meds along with the counselling and without the counselling the meds don't work as well. You need to find someone you can talk to!! Don't wait. You can bet there will be tons of people praying for you now, so a change WILL come. Don't give up. I believe there is a reason for everything. The hardest part is WAITING to find out what it is. Try to take comfort in knowing you are loved. Good luck!
S.

Hi P.,

I'm sorry that I have not had your experience, but I wanted to write you an encouraging note. It sounds like maybe your should get professional help. I have a great therapist that has been helping me with my anxiety and depression. If you live near Denton, you should give her a call.
Her name is Carola Hundrich-Souris. Her number is ###-###-####. You and your kids deserve to have you back!! Please take care!

Live your life to it's fullest P.! Make yourself get up and get out of that room. YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU!! You have just convinced me that the surgery IS NOT the thing for me! I have heard of people who become totally depressed afterward!
"In everything you do, put God first,
and he will direct you and
crown your efforts with success."
Proverbs 3:6

You Children are your crown of success!! Enjoy them!?!?

You are suffering with depression and need to RUN to a counselor who deals with depression and health issues. Thoughts of sucide are not a side effect of surgery...

I had my surgery June 10th just 17 days ago. I also had the open surgery where i was cut open and had my gall bladder removed too.. I have lost 36 lbs so far. I too have been depressed, i don't want to eat because it hurts my stomach and i spend the day in the bathroom. I'm so tired all i want to do is spend the day in bed crying. But, I have a wonderful husband who had the surgery 7 1/2 yrs. ago he has lost 300lbs. and is doing great. He keeps me going and is constantly trying to help me find things i can tolerate to eat. He is the best thing in my life along with my 11 yr old daughter. When i'm feeling down i just think of them and do my best to keep going. I just have to pray that i will get through this and come out on top on the other side. Have faith and look to ur family to help you, include them don't shut them out. If u need to talk u can email me...

My heart cries for you because it sounds like 4 years ago you took care of a symptom (relationship with food) instead of the cause. Now with all the attention you are angry, frustrated and confused because inside you haven't changed and others reaction to you has. My question is: What is your relationship with God? Is there someone you can talk to, like a Pastor or friend who can listen and give Godly council? When I was going through a "rough patch" and going into the bathroom to cry, I was also spending more time in prayer and reading my Bible - gaining wisdom from Gods Book showed me how much I needed to align my thinking with His. You need a counselor you are comfortable with, professional or girlfriend who will help you talk this out. Take heart, many of us have times when we want to quit, my advise is DON'T; getting a divorce just means you carry the problem with you instead of solving it.

I had the surgery, in 2000. If you need to talk contact me.

P.,
You need some counseling. You have all the signs of isolation and serious depression. It's like post-partum depression, only not from birthing a baby, but from losing half of yourself. It seems you not only lost the excess weight, but also your sense of who you are. I'm sure there are support groups you could find. I'm sure there are also conventional counselors who specialize in weight and self-image issues. I'm not trained in either, so I certainly wouldn't hold myself up as such, but I do recognize the signs. For the sake of your children, get some help, and quick.
In the interim, there is a technique you can google online at www.emofree.com, you can download the free manual, and teach yourself how to carry out this tapping routine called EFT (emotional freedom technique), which is actually based on the 5000-year-old meridians from Chinese medicine, energy meridians sometimes called Chi, or Qi, upon which accupressure and acupuncture are based. 'Tapping' helps many conditions, doesn't require a serious investment of belief (as it's been done on horses, dogs and cats, babies, and even people in comas, and results in relief most of the time: phobias, addictions, emotional baggage from childhood, even physical illnesses, etc. They say, "try it on everything; what have you got to lose?" It's free, novices can actually do it, it's not hard to do once you know the routine, and has brought about amazing changes for people.
You can subscribe for free to the EFT newsletter which comes about every week, which highlights the reports from various practioners describing the circumstances of patients, treatments, and outcomes. Very interesting reading, whether you get into it or not. But it might be the very thing that could assist you to get past this dark place you're in, which is why I'm referring you to that website. There are practioners worldwide now, skilled people who can help patients get to the bottom of their grief, loss, and burdens. But I did it on my grown daughter as a complete novice several years ago, and what we tried worked within a couple of hours, so I know it is good. You can even search into the EFT archives and find stuff that deals with food, image, esteem, and weight issues. Let me know how it turns out for you.
Best wishes and prayers,
B.

P., both my brother-in-law and his wife had the surgery and both lost a lot of weight. Their doctor insisted they see a nutritionist and a counselor throughout the process because it is VERY common to have depression or other issues with such extreme weight loss. They were told that many marriages break up without the proper counseling. In their case, they had both always used food to comfort them, so without the ability to lean on food, they felt a little lost. Even with counseling, as my brother-in-law neared his weight goal, he got depressed and left his wife. He has now met his goal and they are back together and he is working h*** o* his issues. She is close to her goal. All this to say that what you are feeling is normal...you are not alone! See help from a professional counselor, perhaps even a Christian one. Ask for Jesus to help you--he will save you. God Bless You and your kids who need you!

I have not had the gastric bypass, but I have shared some of the feeling you do. There is one friend that I talked to that helped me. He can help you also just talk to him and tell him how you feel and ask him to help you. His name is Jesus. if you ask Jesus to help you and lead you he will give you the happiness you desire and help you to be proud of who you are and how you look. I would like to invite you to our church its in Garland Texas. its the Cornerstone family Church 4702 Saturn RD. Garland TExas. I will pray that God will help you overcome. D. Sosnowski

P.--I am not a gastric bypass patient, but my heart breaks from reading your post. I'm sure you are not alone in how you feel, and as a licensed social worker, I think you need to find a support group or licensed therapist to assist you. You need help now--for yourself, and your beautiful kids,and your marriage. I'm sure your body has gone through so many biological AND chemical changes, which must be overwhelming and ALONE could add up to depression. Add onto that all that you are coming to grips with and adjusting to emotionally--trying to understand how people respond to you differently when you are the same person, just weigh less. Your worth is NOT in your appearance or your size--yet people's changed responses seem to indicate that. I wish I had more specific answers for you. But, please, do not hesitate to get the help you need to get you on track. Praying God's blessings on you, dear one!

Your email struck something in me. I have not had gastric bypass but I am acquainted with someone that has. She has a ways to go yet but so far she seems very positive. I am no doctor but I can tell you are hurting inside. You are still the same person inside the body you have now but I think you may have feelings of anxiety and even grief over the person you may feel that you have lost. You are suddenly receiving a lot more attention since the weight loss,and probably feeling a loss of your identity. You are probably treated differently and inside yourself, it must hurt. As I said before, you are the same person but housed in a different body. Unfortunately others tend to gravitate toward the outgoing,the beautiful, and slimmer people. Even though on one level you have probably gained a little self-esteem, you have lost some on another. I am saying this badly and I may not relate in the same way but I sure feel. I have no real advice, just encouragement. You have to remember that you are still you and there is nothing wrong with you whether you are overweight or even underweight. I hope you hear from some that know exactly what you are going through. If not, check to see if there are some groups out there where you can find some support. I wish you the best. I think you are amazing to go through what you have. Don't give up!

Never had a gastric bypass, but...You have endured 1 kind of life and now that's all changed. The past was familiar;this isn't. Try charting your new path slowly. Give your self a big chance to reacclimate. It's all self-image. Yours has endured a massive change. I'd be more surprised/concerned if you DIDN'T go through something like this. I'm not sure where you stand on matters of faith, God loves you. You just need to find that love for your self-your NEW self. If you want to chat more E-mail me at ____@____.com

P.

I have not gone thru the surgery or had any of the issues you are discussing. I must say this behavior you are experiencing is worrysome, you should see your family doctor, sounds like you may be going thru depression as well, and they can for sure help you with that. You have a family and four kids to think about, you need to stay healthy and stay around!

Good Luck!

I have never had surgery like that but have lost weight.
Please go to your OBGYN and have your hormones checked since you have lost that much weight, it could have made you off balance. May I also suggest you try to find happiness in Jesus and get involved with a reputable church. Please wait on the divorce, that may be a major mistake at this time.
P.

Honey, you do not have to live that way. You have received some wonderful advice here. You took the plunge to have the surgery, which I'm sure was a very difficult decision as well as a difficult process. Now, dive into working with a good therapist (Dr. William Gumm in Hurst is wonderful and takes insurance) so that you can truly begin to enjoy life and your family. It won't be easy, but it will be easier than living how you are living now and will get so much better as you work through it. Good luck- enjoy that fabulous new life that you will be living...you're going to be living it sooner than you think!

There is a great group called Celebrate Recovery that is like AA in that it a 12 step program but it is a program that deals with all types of issues. There are many places where CR is offered. Find one near you and go. It could save your marriage and turn you into a happy person.

P., check out a website called Dailystrength.org. There are all kinds of support groups for just about everything you can imagine. It has helped me deal with some serious medical problems, because I found so many other people who are going through the same things. I hope this helps.

I haven't had the surgery, but I just wanted to say I am praying for you. I have heard of people going through depression after losing weight that way. We are so defined by our body image that when it changes so much we don't know who we are anymore. I think you should contact a counselor or a pastor to talk to them. I would even check to see if there are any support groups. I will keep you in my prayers.

When my sister had her Gastrc Bypass over 9 years ago, they made her have a psychiatric evaluation to make sure she was a good candidate (they made sure she could handle the changes to come). Did they do that with you as well? If so, can you reach out to this psychiatrist? If not that doctor, you should speak to another. Maybe your Gastric Bypass doctor can offer someone to speak to. You definitely are battling something more than any of us can cure on this forum, but please know we are thinking about you and hoping you are feeling better very soon!!! PS - my sister is taking what she calls happy pills - because she was getting stressed - not sure if it was related to the surgery, but if you want me to find out what they are, I can ask.

When i read your post, I felt a huge weighing on my heart to tell you that you are not alone. While I have not had the same surgery I can tell you that everyone fights their own battle. I was encouraged to tell you to reach out to Jesus. He has felt everything possible and will understand your feelings. He wil give you what you are looking for outside yourself and fulfill you above and beyond your fathomable satisfaction. He is all you need. I know that if he is first, you will be the beautiful women, mother and wife that he created and chose you to be!

Many blessings!
M.
____@____.com

You may have had an underlying problem when getting your surgery than just being overweight. Alot of people get the surgery but don't deal with the real reasons of why. Maybe you should see a counselor....someone you don't know. Men worship skinny women. If I were in that situation, I'd be lovin' it because I'm overweight and hatin' it. But I would definitely talk to a professional before you end your marriage or anything else. It may not be the real reason you are wanting out. Please seek help.

P.,
Hi. I just wanted to give you some words of encouragement. I have not had gastric bypass but I know alot of people who have and I encourage you to hang in there. Ending it would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know you are feeling down right now but there is light and if you pray and ask God to lead you he will. You have to think of your 4 beautiful children. They are the ones that really need you. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Hi P.- I read about the problems that you are having with your weight loss and I wanted you to know that I am praying for you. I have not had the surgery but Iwanted togive you some words of encouragement. I don't know if you know how much God is blessing your life. You have 4 wonderful children that I'm sure worship the ground you walk on. I have one and found out recently that I can't have any more. You have a husband, who has made mistakes in the past, but realizes he was being an idiot, and now is begging for your forgiveness because he realizes how wonderful you are. You see, you have four people who think that you are absolutely wonderful. You just have to realize how wonderful you are. Go back to the doctor and find out if there is anything you can do about your weight loss but don't give up. You have 4 excellent reasons to keep going.

I just had gastric bypass about 7 wks ago. I have lost 45lbs. no clothes fit and since I am losing and on temporary short term diability from surgery am on a budget and can't buy new clothes even if I wanted to. I find myself not wanting to go anywhere either. Food is definately an inconvenience now. I have also developed an ulcer and will be going for an EGD on monday. That is where they stick the camera into your stomach and find out what is going on.
email me off forum or call and we can talk.
____@____.com or ###-###-####

L.

P.,
Congratulations on getting the weight off and keeping it off. NOW, Contact your surgeon and his staff immediately and let them know what is going on... they should have some programs in place that they can get you into so that you can talk with a counselor and maybe join some kind of support group of others who have had this surgery and are now living with the changes. Also, you may need to be on an anti-depressant for now so that you can overcome these feelings and not do harm to yourself. If you feel like you are going to seriously hurt yourself, you need to go to the nearest ER and tell them, they will arrange an evaluation and get you the help you need. My prayers are with you in this difficult time.

P., I wrote an article last year for the Dallas Morning News on just what you are experiencing. I think it's because early on, doctors were only concerned about how to change the external appearance with the surgery, and after more people had issues like yours, there is more attention being paid to the emotional and mental ramifications of such a huge change. It's almost as if I were to wake up one day as a short black woman! (I'm very tall and very, very pale)

To me, it sounds like you haven't internalized that it is your birthright to be loved. Not just by your husband or your children, but by yourself. You deserve happiness, but somewhere along the way, your subconscious began telling you that you were going to be attacked so better protect yourself by packing on pounds. Now that your "armor" is gone, you may be feeling very isolated, vulnerable, and defenseless, hence the reason you go straight to your room after work. You're exhausted from the onslaught of life!

I found myself in situations where I was totally wiped out from going to the mall, or being in crowded situations. After learning some visualization techniques through the Institute of Subtle Energy Education, I was able to mentally put on a shield that not only kept me from absorbing other people's negative energy, but it also allowed me to continue to receive the blessings and messages that God/Spirit wanted me to have. I know it's short notice, but I'm teaching a 4 hour class today from 1-4 p.m. at Positive Touch Massage & Conference Center in Richardson. Here's the link to the program if you want to learn more. http://www.iseeglobal.com/energy_empath_program/

I was very skeptical at first, but this has really worked for me. I would still suggest continued counseling, but at least this will give you another tool in your toolbox to help you create your new reality, one in which you thrive as a thin person who is loved and appreciated by all, especially yourself. Good luck, and God Bless!

Call dr danny hart. he is a counselor. his number is ###-###-####.

Dear P.,

I'm so sorry you are feeling down. I can tell that you are really hurting. Please, for your sake and for the sake of your children, go see a counselor. Your life is too important to end it. I don't know you, but I care about you as a person, and I don't want you to do that. More importantly, God cares about you. God created you to be especially who you are. He loved you when you weighed 260 pounds, and He still loves you now that you weigh 119. I am praying for you and your family.

Please find a counselor to help you. If you don't know anyone, my church has an online list of Christian counselors. Go to www.fellowshipchurch.com. Then click on Get Connected. Then click on Member Care (You don't have to be a member of the church to use the service.). From there, a screen will come up with a button called Christian Counseling. Click on it, and a list of counselors will come up.

Again, I urge you to find help. You deserve it, and your husband and children do too.

Deb D

P.,

I'm sorry, but I can't relate to what you're going through. First of all, congratulations on your huge accomplishment. Gastric Bypass is a very difficult thing to go through, and your success says a lot about your determination/drive. However, the fact that you have the other issues you describe probably makes you feel like it wasn't worth it.

Have you thought about seeing a counselor/doctor? Maybe just having somebody to talk to, and provide you professional advice, will help. I am by no means qualified to to make a diagnosis, but it sounds like you might be depressed (which is not anything to be ashamed of), and if that is the case, a doctor can help you get through that.

A drastic change in diet can affect mood and other impulses in your brain, so maybe by adding supplements/medications (recommended/prescribed) by a doctor might make a big difference. Have you talked to the doctor who performed your surgery? He/she has probably had other patients in your shoes.

You deserve to be happy, and your family needs you. Good luck, and I hope there is somebody else out there who reads your message and can relate, who will provide some better insight.

S.

Patrica,
I am so sad when I read your article, you need to seek some counseling, that should be available to you after surgery. Yes, you had weight loss surgery...that was the intention. But usually it is a disorder to begin with(overeating) You have to learn to be happy with yourself on the inside and that beauty will portray on the outside as well. Suicide is a selfish act and only hurts the people who love you. My dad commited suicide last april and it devistated our family. Do not choose that route. seek help, there are thousands of people just like you..just reach out,they are there. Your kids need you and you need them..

P.,
I agree with everything Kelly said. You need to find a professional therapist/doctor NOW. You sound very depressed and you need to get help. I don't think your problems have anything to do with the weight. Please be strong enough to check the phone book and find someone you can make an appt. with very soon. You need to get well for your kids. They need you to be strong and healthy for them. Please....do more than just write this post....many wishes and prayers for a healthy spirit.
Glenda

Please Contact Kim at Impact Counseling Center. This is run through my church. They will get you an appt. with someone who can help you. there is a sliding scale for those with financial issues. ###-###-####.

Hang in there!