Seeking Online Grief Support Groups in Utah for Mom's of Young Children

Updated on April 19, 2012
K.P. asks from South Jordan, UT
7 answers

I am hoping to find an online grief support group for mothers of young children in Utah. My husband was in an accident on his off road dirt bike over Memorial Day weekend and he died from his injuries. I have a 20 month old daughter (she was 17 months old at the time of her dada's death) and I am just trying to find other parents in the same position. I have read a few different books but have come to find that I don't feel like I relate since the majority of widows are in their 50's. I have amazing support from my friends and family but still think it would be nice to talk to other Mom's in this situation. For some reason I am feeling more sad after 3 months than I did immediately after it happened. I'm just hoping that maybe talking to other parents in this situation might make me feel a little better.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

K.,
I am so sorry about your loss. I know it must be very very hard. I would like to recommend a book I hope you will find because it is out of print now. Maybe Deseret Industries or ebay. I know it has been extremely helpful for others who are in your situation. It is called "Life Everlasting" by Duane Crother-Bookcraft. It's a masterpiece. Crowther and his wife lost their young daughter 6, to sudden death and just couldn't stand the loss. In his grief he began an exhaustive research about death which yielded this marvelous and healing book. It's out of print now, but it is for sale regularly on E-Bay.
Best Wishes,

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S.O.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. I do not have any books or support groups to refer you to but wanted to tell you one thing. Being the baby by eight years I was rasied pretty much as an only child. It was a week before my 10 birthday that my father passed away in a boating accident. I grew up with a single mother who didn't marry until just recently when I was 26 myself. The most important thing I can tell you is to keep your husband's memory alive. Contiue to have him be part of your daughter's life. Even as the years pass you may remarry but please never take away her right to love and talk about her dad. She may be too young to remember him but he can still play a very important role in her life. He is now her guardian angel as well as yours. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Provo on

K.,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. almost 11 years ago my first husband was killed in a car accident. I was almost 21 and our daughter was only 2 1/2 at the time. I can truly understand what it is that you are going through. I can also understand how hard it is to relate to older women who are widowed. The situations feel completely different. I have remarried and have more children with my current husband, but I am willing to talk with you if you would like. I live in Lehi. Please let me know if you would like to talk about this with me.

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K.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

So sorry for your loss. I have 2 dear friends that lost their husbands suddenly with young children (one 10 years ago the other 2 years ago). They both found great comfort at The Sharing Place http://thesharingplace.org/ ....it comes highly recommended. And remember to take time for yourself.

<<hugs>>

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J.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

wow this was quite awhile ago that this story was written I'm curious to know what you have done over the last couple of years to help your child and the death of her father. I too am in this position my husband was killed on the job Oct.4th 2011 he was hit by a dump truck while working construction on I-15. We had 2 sons ages 7 and 5 and one on the way he was born in November. I also have a daughter from a previous marriage who is 14 but she was only 3 months when I met him. I've put the two older ones in counseling but the younger ones are on a waiting list for the sharing place. Thanks

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B.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi K.! I want to first off say that my heart breaks for you and your daughter. I can't imagine the wide array of emotions you must feel.
I have a book that really helped me to understand grief more. It is called Grieving: our path back to peace by James R. White. It is a very short book, but it discusses grief in general whether a widow, child, parent, friend.
One thing I found beneficial from it was the understanding that grief is an ongoing process. You have ups and downs and sometimes feel like you are going in never ending circles, but ultimately you are always healing.
You are normal to be hurting so much after 3 months and it is also okay to have days where you feel good and happy or angry days.
My dad died in a car accident when I was 19 and the book helped me understand ALL the different emotions I went through. I will be thinking of you.

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M.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

HI K.,

It's M., from your neighborhood. I saw this and realized that I knew you. You are very brave. I'm sorry for your pain and I want to help.

There are a few women in our neighborhood who are younger and widowed, one has 3 children and the other has 5. Neither are remarried. I have another friend outside of our neighborhood who also had 3 young children when her husband passed away due to an accident at his work. I know they would love to share with you and provide empathy and helpful tips that worked for them. Would you like their information?

Also, because I have a master's degree in social work I know some support group and child therapy information that may be helpful for you or Jade.

I'm here as a friend anytime. If it is easier to email, my email is ____@____.com or my cell number is ####-###-####. I realize that sometimes late at night or early morning when you are awake and your thoughts are running wild or the loneliness is accute, those are the times you may want to talk--I'm available and willing.

You are in my thoughts often and I want to help and be a friend. If you don't want me to be a part, that is OK too. Whatever you need...

M. Sullivan

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