A.D. asks from Lansdale, PA on March 28, 2008
Seeking Moms with Child or Children with Learning Problems
I was wandering if any one had a child with any type of learning problems?
My oldest has a learning disablitity she learns slower then most children,she is going on 13 and in September she will start 7th grade and she has not even start doing 6th grade work yet.I was just wandering if any one had a middle school child with the same thing and how did your child do? I am worried that she will be struggling in the middle school.Please any tips any one has I would be greatful for them.She is a great kid and I know she can do anything she puts her mind to.Really all 3 of my kids are great they are so nice to every one. Also my othe children don't have problems learning so they don't help they put her down all the time which I am always yelling about and I have tried everything I can think of to get them to stop nothing has worked yet. ANY TIPS WOULD BE HELPFUL ON ANY OF THESE MATTERS THAT I HAVE HERE. THANK YOU ALL=]
So What Happened?™
Well thank you all for your response and advise. We are still doing therapy and she is on meds now all we can do is help her by letting her know we are here for her. My husband I let our children know that we love them and that we are here for all 3 of them. Thanks again we just have to let things take its course and time will tell if these things work.
L.H. answers from Pittsburgh on March 30, 2008
I have a 16 year old daughter that had struggled all though grade school with a leaning disability. Do not let it go. Go to the school and insist on getting help. My daughter started in learning support in 7th garde and it has done wonders for her. The program is very good. My daughter is now as junior and has a grade point of 3.3. There is help out there you just have to go after it.
A.B. answers from Philadelphia on March 29, 2008
First i would like to say that i am a mother but not in the same situation as you. Last year i was contacted to do some private tutoring, i am a certified teacher, for a child who was autistic, with delayed learning abilities. The young girl was due to graduate 8th grade last year but was barely on a 5th grade level. Her mom decided to keep her retained another year and sought outside help, from me, to assist her daughter in homework and some challenging work. Maybe your child was also benefit from a priveate tutor. Sometimes it is beneficial to bring in someone from the outside because when you are so close to the child sometimes you can become stressed and overwhelmed. I hope you receives some helpful advice and wish you luck and success.
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on March 28, 2008
If you are concerned that she has a learning disability, I think you should talk to your pediatrician about having her tested and evaluated so you can get information about her specific disability and then find out what programs and treatments are available to help her.
Talk to your other kids about people with disabilities and why they need to have compassion and understanding for people who are different. Explain that all people have differences and some people who excel in one thing are often average or below average in other activities. Discuss strengths and weaknesses. I think it is nearly always the case that when a child has ANY kind of disability or difficulty, the mother is the most important factor in treatment. Moms are so involved with their kids! The great thing is that beig informed yourself, you will be able to help your daughter the most to be the absolute best that she can be. You have the best sense of her strengths and weaknesses. Good luck to you!
T.R. answers from York on March 29, 2008
I am a 41yr old mother of 4 kids. My third child just turned 13 last week, and she is in the 7th grade now. She is high functioning autistic. She has many learning problems, and must be taught at a slower pace, in a much smaller group setting. She went from losing all speech just before her 2nd birthday to now being on the honor roll. I can tell you this, it is a constant uphill battle that you will always have to fight on your daughters behalf. Try to stay completely on top of what is happening with her teachers in the middle school. Our teachers are very receptive to receiving emails. I make sure to stay in constant contact. Also, we attend a very large middle school in southern Pennsylvania....our team of teachers post their homework assignments and upcoming test/quizes on our school website. Find out if your new teachers next Sept. do that as well? it is a great way to keep on top of her work. My daughter really does receive a lot of support help in school from her teachers. If you do have an IEP for her...make sure you push for any additional servcies that you can get from your school system. Talk to your guidance counselor as soon as the school year starts and find out about any extra help that she could receive while still in school (like tutoring during a study hall time?) Just hang in there and keep pushing and being very assertive when it comes to your daughters education. I know it is a big leap....a hard adjustment sending her off to middle school, but I'm sure she will be just fine as long as you stand right behind her along the way. As far as the other children being so hard on her? I have that also...only it is the two older siblings who are doing it. I really try to put my foot down when I catch them saying something nasty or making fun of her in any way. I try to pull them aside and speak to them alone and explain how mean they come across and how they are not perfect either, and how would they feel if the tables were turned? I don't always mean to, but I tend to threaten them in such a way....that if they don't stop being nasty or making fun of her....there will be unpleasant consequences for them(losing computer or playstation..some type of punishement)....it's just unacceptable to me to be so hurtful to your sibling. Hang in there....I'm told it gets easier! :-)
M.F. answers from Philadelphia on March 31, 2008
Hi A. my oldest son who is now 18 has a learning disability and was born with developemntal Dsypraxia (low muscle tone) so I have a double wammie, 18 yrs ago people would just say oh he's lazy he's stupid, no he's not my first tip to you is have every medical test possible if you haven't already, once we found out the problem we were able to cope my son when diagnosed was about 18 months behind he hasn't caught up fully but with his IEP at school since the 4th grade he has came a long way always encourage your child no matter what she does if she gets a C on a test make it like its an A encouragemnt goes a long way check your school districts web site they always have help for parents of Special education children, as for the siblings, thats tough Jim is my oldest I also have two step-children one was 1 yr older and could do everything better so instead of yelling I made it a game and had him help Jim and rewarded him for that, it worked for me they are now 18 and 19 and a side from being brothers they are great friends. I hope this helps it still is a struggle for me Jim is a jr in high school and wants to go to college just another bridge for us to cross
S.B. answers from Philadelphia on March 30, 2008
I have a non-school related suggestion. Everyone is good at something. I suggest you find something she is good at (a sport, music, drama, art, something). Get her involved in that activity & praise her for it in front of your other children. Make it her activity. Don't allow you other kids to do that same activity (unless you are certain she will be better than them). This will give her a great deal of confidence about herself. It will also help the other kids respect her. They will see she is good at other things. My brother was bad at school & therefore hated it. After graduating HS he started taking classes to be a car mechanic, he was awesome at it. His whole personality changed. He was happy & confident all the time.
L.G. answers from Philadelphia on March 29, 2008
Although I do not have a child with a learning disability, your story makes me think of the book, "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. They also wrote a book called "Siblings without Rivalry". The book deals with feelings, being true to yourself and treating each child uniquely (because each is special for their own reasons). The sibling book may help you to guide your children to appreciate each other strengths. It must break your heart to see your kids do that to their sister. Best of luck!
B.C. answers from Altoona on March 29, 2008
hi your story like reading my own story. my son is also 13 he is in the six grade, and is in learning surport glasses my struggle from the time he went to school first if your school has not done a e vowel on your daughter then express to the school you worried how she is learning .then just keep after then until you feel she getting what she needs in school .my son when he got to 5 grade last year I thought he was reading on the 3rd grade reading level to just find out he was barley reading at a 1st grade level i went to the school for a meeting and express what i want to see in my son I had to tell them if i did not see any improvement with him i would get a lawyer who help me by the end of 5grade he was reading on a 3rd to 4th grade now ho almost up to 5 grade so do not give up there is hope i hope this answer your question if i can be any help to you feel free to email at ____@____.com
M.H. answers from Pittsburgh on March 28, 2008
My 12 year old step-daughter has learning disorders. She will be going to middle school next year also. The advice I have has to do with the siblings picking on her. My husband and I had this same problem and decided to go about it creatively. We started making a point to notice when our daughter was doing something better than her twin brother (who seemed to make the most comments to his sis). For instance, we would point out how she does better in softball then he does and used this to teach them that everyone has there own talents. Now they will try to help each other out when they see the other struggling. There not perfect and still need reminded from time to time but it helped. I hope this helps and I will be looking at the other responsesfor advice as well.