Seeking Moms That May Have a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Dear G., I am a nurse with expierence in this area first-hand. I was a foster care parent for years specializing in this area. I would be glad to talk with you. J.

Hi G.,

I have a very little experience with this condition based on experiences with a boy at our church. I did, however, do sme digging around to learn more about RAD and found the following website very helpful: http://www.radkid.org/index.html

I wish you all the very best.

Hi Gal,

I have a son with GAD, and he has made our live a living H...! It has been a nightmare to say the least! Here is the symptoms my son has and he is only 4 years old. He is oppositional, argumentative, defiant, emotionally phony, hollow, controlling (big time),frequent & intense angry outbursts,cannot be trusted,has little or no conscience, superficially engaging and charming,lack of eye contact on parental terms,destructive to self, others, and property,more disobedient toward mom than dad,lies about the obvious (crazy lying),impulsive or hyperactive,lacks cause and effect thinking,poor peer relationships, Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter, inappropriately demanding and clingy, bossy with peers! The list just goes on. You know sometimes this can becaused from a trauma in their life . Jacob , for 4 years could not pass his bowels and went through alot of childrens fleets enmas we think maybe that did it. In the vast majority of families,the attachment problems were created by early childhood trauma that the parents did not cause. If the child is a birth child and has attachment issues, there can be many reasons none of which occurred because the parents did anything intentionally wrong. For instance, a common cause it that of a baby developing colic resulting in prolonged, severe, daily pain. If the colic persists for weeks or even months, the baby can become unattached because the parents could not relieve the pain despite the parents' best efforts. You have to get theraphy and give them LOTS of love! I run a special needs children and adults locally in hardin county and online our website is http://www.tummyissues.net I also have a daughter named Kayla her story is on site but she suffers from a rare disorder. Hang in there and keep me posted on how things are and how they are going? What is your grandsons symptoms? C.

Hello. I am not amom yet we are looking to adopt. However I am social worker and know about Reactive Attachment Disorder, also known as RAD. I have children on my case load that has this disorder. What I will tell you is the older the child gets that has it, it will only get worse. You HAVE to have structure and consitency and have them on a schedule. It is not curable, however there are medications that MAY help calm the child down some for now. Also, the child may need to start counseling. Children as youing as age 3 are able to start counseling. counsling for a child taht young is not typical as ity would be for you or I. It is called play therapy. e-mail me if yu have any other questions or if you just need support. You and your family will need ALL the support you can get. Good luck.

Hi there,

I used to work in the mental health field with children with behavior-related diagnoses. I worked with several kids who had RAD, and I'd be glad to talk to you or e-mail. It can be a tough disorder to deal with, because the very nature of it means that building relationships is challenging. Of course, the earlier the issues are addressed, the more likely the child can heal, so it's great that you're looking to work on this now. I highly highly recommend any of the books in the Love and Logic series. You can find them at any of the big book stores (Books a Million, Barnes and Noble), or you can buy them online at Amazon.com. Please let me know if you'd like to chat.

Take care, and best wishes to you and your family!
K.

Hi G. - I researched the RAD on internet in order to understand some of the mental disorders associated with RAD. I found that depression, anxiety and hyperactivity are some of the many problems that a child with this disorder may have.

I have a website that can give you some help in those areas and testimonials regarding depression, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, etc. www.insidemangosteen.com/judy0114 and for product research and information - www.mymangosteen.com/judy0114.

Good Luck and hope all of the responses from other moms will help your grandchild. Your grandchild is lucky to have such caring grandparents.

J. H

In the work I am doing with equine therapy and children with emotional challenges, I have found that honoring their spatial boundaries is vitally important. It has been my experience that some families of RAD children think that if you just hug them and touch them enough, they will get over it. This can feel quite disrespectful and a small child can feel helpless which can lead to other problems. What I have found is that by slowing down in our movements and expectations and becoming very sensitive to what any individual child feels is comfortable,can help bring them out. By letting the child set the touching boundaries, as long as very clear respectful boundaries are set by you (in other words, they can't hit you etc. or behave disrespectfully towards you), they become more and more trusting and open to reach out.
After raising a child with disabilities, I now see every child as special and perfect in their own rite and they provide a gift for us to learn from. So many of us want our children to be "normal" by our cultural standards. I was blessed to learn another way through necessity... seeing each being as a unique and wonderful individual, no matter if they are challenged or not, helps them rise to the best of their abilities with a strong sense of self empowerment. Good luck with your grandson, he is lucky to have you.

Where abouts do you live? There is a specialist in Jefferson City, TN. Otherwise, here are two websights that may be able to help you.
http://www.attachmentexperts.com/
http://www.RadKid.org

RAD is tough to deal with at times, but hang in there!!!!!
Good Luck,
T.

Hi, G.,
I also teach special needs kids and have worked with RAD kids in the classroom---which is definitely not the same as trying to parent them. However; in my attempts to know more about the disorder, I have found several chat lines that have been very helpful. If you Google Reactive Attachment Disorder+chatlines, you will see several sites listed. I had never gone into chat rooms before and was a little awkward at first, but it didn't take long to figure things out...and it was definitely very helpful. I also think you will get very candid responses because of the aninomity. (I went back and found the url for one of the sites. It is as follows: http://adsg.syix.com/adsg/index.htm )

I have never heard of a local support group, but you might try contacting your local Families First Chapter and/or Comp. Care to see if there are groups in the area.

Good luck, I know this can't be easy for you, but it sounds like you are well equiped with your background...and being a direct relative. I'll keep you and your little one in my prayers.

Hi G., I have a 11 year old niece whom I care for and have custody of. SHe has attachement disordor. She has to be monitored all the time.I also have to be firm and guide her every move,because she is usually off in her world,or seekig constant attention,very needy,and makes up these wild stories!And also Lies alot! SO I know what you are going through if some of these things you are dealing with. She was living in a severly neglected home,never took baths and had to wear clothes that did not fit and were very dirty and smelly. So she has her way of "escaping" reality and I have to "bring" her back. Hope this helps!

I would seek some counseling--there are providers who specialize in this disorder. The reason I recommend this now is that your grandchild is only 3 and this is the time to start. In Charlotte, Thompson's Child and Family Focus is one of the best providers for RAD. Good luck.

Mel

I found this site and it seems to be quite informative. Good luck and God bless you.

http://www.radkid.org/index.html

I know of an online support group which I belonged to was a life saver for me. I had very little support except for this site. www.conductdisorders.com

There are a lot of sites on the net but this one caught my attention and do not know if you know about it yet.

http://www.radkid.org/

If you ever need anything please do not hesitate to email me.

L.